


Level-ups and even more water (June 2019)

by our_time_is_now



Series: Davenzi Plays [3]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:34:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 112,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27152519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/our_time_is_now/pseuds/our_time_is_now
Summary: Davenzi-Roleplay Part 3 - We're moving towards summer and Matteo and David are enjoying their togetherness. Also, David is getting to know the circle of friends a little better and learns that he's no longer alone.
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner
Series: Davenzi Plays [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844773
Kudos: 27





	1. June 2, 2019 (1) - 33 degrees

**Author's Note:**

> This is the english translation of the roleplays by Katrin and Pauline ( riddikulus and shakshuka-grandpasweaters on tumblr)  
> You can also find us on tumblr: our-time-is-now  
> If you have any questions: just ask!
> 
> There will be plays that deal with the topic of being transgender (bureaucratic, emotional, medical, ...). Neither of us are trans. We have dealt with the topic, especially riddikulus, who plays David, and have read and researched as much as possible. Of course we know that this can never come close to experiencing it yourself.  
> However, we do believe and hope that we managed to inform ourselves to the extent that we were able to get all the bureaucratic and medical aspects right.  
> For the emotional side, we tried to put ourselves in David's place the best we could and thought about who we think he is. How dysphoric is he? How does he handle it? How diligent is he? And so on...  
> If you have topics that you don't want to read about, please let us know and we will also mark them before the play.
> 
> Otherwise, like always: Please give us feedback. Tell us what you liked and what you did not like.  
> Have fun reading!

**Sunday, 3:38 pm:**  
  
David:  
*they have slept in quite late and then lazed around in bed pretty long*  
*around noon the sun moved so that it shone directly into Matteo’s room and it simply got too hot in bed*  
*therefore they decided to get up, showered, got dressed and laze around in the living room which was also pretty heated up due to the morning sun*  
*once again wished that he already had his surgery so that he could simply go to the lake with Matteo to cool down there*  
*looks over to Matteo, who is lying next to him on the couch, and murmurs sluggishly*  
Do you know what the worst thing about the heat is?!  
*doesn’t wait for an answer but immediately says*  
physical contact is only possible in the water… or in the fridge…  
  
Matteo:  
*sluggishly looks at David when he asks him what the worst thing is*  
*grins broadly at his answer*  
True… but I can kiss you with a minimum of physical contact…  
*rolls over a little, leans on his hands and leans over David without touching him*  
*kisses him and lets himself fall back*  
*sighs loudly*  
That was exhausting… we can’t possibly go take a shower every 10 minutes… or stick our heads in the fridge…  
  
David:  
*grinningly and expectantly looks at Matteo after his announcement*  
*closes his eyes for a moment and can only resist the urge to pull him closer to him due to the heat*  
*grumbles unhappily when he lets himself fall back*  
More!  
*laughs out loud when Matteo says that it was exhausting and shakes his head at his suggestions*  
Noooo… that’s also way too exhausting…  
*sighs quietly and leans forward to grab his glass and take a sip*  
Swimming would be nice – but that probably won’t be possible until next summer… after the surgery… there are binder for the water, but I don’t know if getting one is still worth it – unless Portugal really works out…  
*leans back again*  
But a foot bath would be enough for the moment… don’t you have an old kiddy pool or something lying around that we could put on your balcony?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly at his demand for more*  
Later…  
*nods slightly*  
Yes, who knows… I mean going somewhere would be awesome… but to organize something with the guys is always a thing…  
*looks at him excitedly*  
Really good idea! I don’t have one but I have an idea who might have one… HAAAAANS?  
*looks at David apologizingly*  
I only get up if it’s worth it…  
*sees Hans comeing out of his room*  
Hans, do you happen to have an old kiddy pool that we could borrow? For our feet? On the balcony?  
  
David:  
*shrugs when he talks about organizing things*  
Then maybe we should take care of it for once?  
*would really love to get out of Berlin for once*  
*at first looks confused, then amused, when Matteo starts to shout*  
*looks between Hans and Matteo and watches Hans tap his index finger against his chin pretending to think: “Hmmm… and if I had one and would be so kind as to lend it to you, what would – theoretically – be in it for me”?!  
*grins and shrugs*  
Half an hour of foot bath on Matteo’s balcony?  
*looks at Matteo questioningly and hopes that it was okay to invite Hans*  
*hears Hans’ answer: “Let’s make it an hour and you can have the thing for the night”!*  
*sees him turn around theatrically – probably to get the kiddy pool – and hears him declare while leaving: “And I’ll pick the music! You take care of the beverages”!*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs at David’s suggestion and theatrically puts a hand on his chest*  
And I thought you knew me and my laziness…  
*but then grins and shrugs*  
Yes, maybe we could really do that…  
*nods at David’s suggestion*  
But only if it’s big enough for three pairs of feet  
*nods at his counterproposal*  
*laughs when Hans naturally makes two more demands while he leaves*  
*calls after him*  
But then you’ll put in the water!  
*slowly sits up*  
Well, then I’ll go get the beverages…  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo mentions his laziness again*  
*thinks that he could also organize something by himself if the guys don’t get their asses into gear*  
*but would probably not feel like organizing something for all five of them as he simply doesn’t know the others well enough to know how they imagine their vacation and it’s easier to check with Matteo*  
*plans on mentioning the topic again when there’s time and rather watches the negotiations between Matteo and Hans*  
*gets up when Matteo does and says*  
And I’ll go get a third chair for the balcony and get rid of the table…  
*realizes that even getting up is too much movement during this heat and is looking forward to the foot bath*  
*spontaneously grabs Matteo’s hand when he is about to disappear into the kitchen and pulls him toward him with a flourish*  
*hugs him tightly to him and grins*  
Now that we’ll be able to cool down soon – I think we can briefly dare to have some physical contact*  
*pushes his hair off his forehead and kisses him briefly*  
*then realizes that it really is pretty warm and lets go of him again*  
Okay, that’s enough!  
*still thinks that it was worth the sweating*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins when David pulls him toward him*  
*gladly returns the kiss and puts a hand on the back of his neck*  
*shakes his head when he says that it’s enough*  
Not yet…  
*doesn’t let go of him just yet and kisses him again*  
Okay, now…  
*lets go of him and disappears into the kitchen with a grin*  
*15 minutes later they have organized everything, put up the kiddy pool, the beverages are on the table which is now in Matteo’s room next to the balcony door*  
*they are already sitting on the chairs with their feet in the water while Hans is still looking through the playlist on his phone*  
That can’t be so difficult, Hans… just put a song on…  
  
David:  
*15 minutes later he sits on the balcony next to Matteo across from Hans and lets his bare feet dangle into the kiddy pool*  
*right now thinks it’s pretty marvelously refreshing and relaxing and only smiles sluggishly amused about the fact that Hans can’t decide on any music*  
*hears him answer Matteo: “Yes, but you’re supposed to like it, as well”!*  
*grins and says*  
I’m afraid that will be difficult…  
*sees Hans shake his head: “No, wait, I’ll have something in a second…”*  
*laughs quietly and briefly closes his eyes in relaxation*  
*eventually hears Hans’ pleased comment: “Okay, I’ve got one”! and skeptically grimaces when he hears the first notes of Avicii’s “Addicted to you”*  
*laughs quietly and tormented and shakes his head*  
*but doesn’t plan on complaining because that would probably result in a discussion about music which would be too exhausting for him today*  
*curiously peeks over to Matteo to see whether he wants to argue about it or if he’ll suffer through it in silence*  
  
Matteo:  
*raises his eyebrows and waits for Hans’ choice*  
*hears the song and groans*  
*notices that David isn’t really thrilled about it either and looks at Hans*  
Seriously? Why exactly did you think that we would enjoy /this/?  
*sees Hans laugh and say: Well, you are also addicted, right”?*  
Addicted? To what? You?  
*Hans also laughs*  
That in any case…. But no, to each other…  
*grins and shrugs*  
The song is still… well...  
*Hans grins at him and he immediately knows that he’ll regret this*  
*hears Hans say: “Well, we could also listen to “Take me to church” for the 400th time”*  
*shakes his head and throws him a “you traitor” look*  
  
David:  
*sits up a little, laughs at Hans’ conclusion and shrugs his shoulders in Matteo’s direction*  
Well, he’s right…  
*still nods at Matteo’s words about the song being a little… well… and is just about to lean back again to comfortably follow the discussion when he hears Hans’ comment*  
*feels his heart skip a beat, smiles slightly and shrugs his shoulders in Hans’ direction*  
I wouldn’t mind…  
*throws Matteo a loving gaze and briefly nudges his foot against Matteo’s*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks at David a little embarrassed and slightly shrugs one shoulder*  
*hears Hans’ laugh: “God, no, that would only make your heart-eyes grow even bigger… I’ll just leave the playlist on…”*  
*laughs slightly and grabs his glass*  
Whatever…  
*hears a noise coming from his room, turns around and sees Linn*  
Hey… do you also want to cool off? If you go grab a chair, we can make some space…  
  
David:  
*sighs in defeat when Hans says that he’ll keep the playlist on and checks the time to object to the playlist in an hour should the music get even worse*  
*looks up when Matteo greets Linn and smiles a little*  
*nods when Matteo tells her that they can make some space even though that’s more up to Hans, because one side of the balcony is already occupied by him and Matteo*  
*observes Linn, who at first doesn’t answer but only stares at the three of them and from the corner of his eyes notices that Hans already makes some space*  
*suddenly hears Linn declare: “I’ve bought ice cream! Lemon ice cream”!*  
*she seems to think some more, and David thinks that it says a lot about the flatshare-community that neither Matteo nor Hans interrupt her as they seem to know that she wants to say more*  
*after some time she really adds: “You can also have some”!*  
*sees Hans beam and get up immediately: “With pleasure, my little chameleon! I’ll grab you a chair and you go get the ice cream”!*  
*sees her nod and disappear from his field of vision*  
*after some time helps Hans lift the chair over the kiddy pool and place it next to Hans’ chair, which causes the balcony to be really full*  
*grins slightly*  
Okay, we’ll have to remember: never plan any footbath-parties for more than 4 people…  
  
Matteo:  
*grins when Linn declares that she has bought ice cream and knows that you only have to wait a little for her to spit it out *  
*somehow really likes Linn and never thinks her presence and quirks are stupid but finds them rather relaxing*  
*is really happy when 5 minutes later all four of them have found a spot on the balcony and are eating ice cream*  
*laughs at David’s words*  
Yep… luckily Mia isn’t home, otherwise it would have been really cramped…  
*notices Linn scrutinize David and has noticed her doing that several times before*  
*sometimes would really love to know what goes on inside her head*  
*simply tries asking a question*  
Everything okay, Linn?  
  
David:  
*happily accepts the ice cream from Linn and smiles at her*  
Thanks!  
*unwraps it and eats it happily*  
*once again feels a little under scrutiny from Linn but has gotten used to it by now and doesn’t really feel insecure by it anymore*  
*smiles at her every now and then and apart from that only looks into the distance in a relaxed manner*  
*looks at her when he hears Matteo’s question and notices her freeze for a second, as if she had been caught at something, but then sees her relax and nod*  
*thinks that this was her answer but then hears her say after a few seconds: “I wonder if David will move in here. That would be a problem because we don’t have enough rooms for that. He could sleep in your room, but I don’t know if you’d want that. Maybe you’ll also move in with David, but I don’t want you to move out, because then I wouldn’t see you and David anymore”.*  
*is pretty astonished by so much talking from Linn and wonders why she thinks about stuff like that*  
*searchingly looks at Matteo to see if he wants to answer as he’s quite overwhelmed at the moment and doesn’t know what he should say to that*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods in understanding at Linn’s nod and just like David thinks that this was her answer*  
*is really surprised when she talks, and that she says so much and something so nice*  
*notices Hans smile at her proudly*  
Well, there’s no plan for anyone to move in with anyone, Linn. At least I don’t want to move out of here… and as far as I know David wants to keep living with his sister… so don’t worry, Linn, we haven’t planned on changing anything and you’ll still see us both. Is that okay?  
*sees Linn consider this for a moment and eventually nod: “Okay, alright. But if anything changes, will you tell me? People sometimes forget about me.”*  
*suddenly feels the strange urge to hug her*  
*instead smiles at her warmly*  
Sure, I promise!  
  
David:  
*nods in confirmation at Matteo’s words because he noticed Linn looking at him questioningly, as well*  
*has to smile when she makes sure to be told when something changes but gets serious again when she says that people sometimes forget about her*  
*suddenly realizes that Linn reminds him a little of Luna from Harry Potter – similarly direct but a lot more insecure*  
*plans on looking up how Harry and his friends have reacted to Luna so that he might learn a lesson from them because sometimes he would like to be a little more certain in how to react to Linn*  
*decides to change the topic after nobody has said anything for some time and everybody has finished their ice cream*  
*questioningly looks at Linn and Hans*  
Do you guys have any plans for the summer? Going somewhere or something like that?  
  
Matteo:  
*looks from David to Hans and Linn*  
*Linn only shakes her head but Hans nods excitedly: “Well, Andi suggested that we do a pride tour and go to every city hosting a parade and then at the end of July of course go to pride in Berlin”!*  
*slightly grimaces at the mention of Andi’s name but otherwise remains rather impassive to the conversation*  
*hopes that Hans won’t invite them along, but he naturally turns to David at that exact moment: “You’ll come along to that, right? Oh, and it would be cool if you could maybe sleep at your place that day because it’ll probably get pretty crowded here”!*  
*shakes his head*  
There won’t be any strangers sleeping in my bed, Hans, and I definitely won’t come along to pride.  
*sees Hans look a little sulky: “Oh, come on, a little bit of pride would be good for you”!*  
*shakes his head again*  
No… sorry, but that really isn’t my thing…  
  
David:  
*notices Linn shake her head and would like to ask her if she has planned anything in Berlin for the summer but listens to Hans first*  
*nods politely but then grimaces in uncertainty when he hears his question*   
Umm… well it’s not really my thing. We can spend the night at my place during pride, no problem, but coming along…  
*shakes his head and looks at Matteo questioningly*  
*would come along if Matteo wanted to go and if it were important to him that he came, but doesn’t think that he would want that and gets his assumption confirmed less than 10 seconds later*  
*has to grin slightly when Hans says that a little pride would be good for Matteo and grabs Matteo’s hand*  
Never mind, Hans. Matteo and I celebrate our own feeling of pride – that has to be enough.  
*sees Hans grimace: “You two are really right for each other! But one day I’ll drag you there! Even if I have to get you drunk or whatever…”!*  
*sees him turn to Matteo again: “But back to your bed! What if /me/ and Andi sleep in your bed?! We’re not strangers, after all! And I promise to change the sheets afterwards! – And I’ll vacuum! – And dust your room”!*  
  
Matteo:  
*has to grin when David says that pride isn’t really his thing, either*  
*squeezes his hand and determinedly nods at his statement*  
Exactly!  
*leans over and quickly kisses him*  
That has to be enough!  
*leans back again and only lets go of David’s hands when it gets too sweaty*  
*only shakes his head when Hans says that he’ll drag them there one day*  
*grimaces again at the mention of Andi*  
*says a little more forceful than he meant to*  
Andi won’t sleep in my bed, either!  
*realizes it and backpedals quickly*  
All right, whatever, you can sleep there, but only if you really change the sheets, vacuum, dust and clean the windows…  
  
David:  
*briefly wonders who this Andi-guy is and why Matteo doesn’t want to have him in his bed, but then observes the negotiations between Matteo and Hans with a grin*  
*hears Hans say: “Stop, okay. I’ll also clean your windows! But that’s it! Deal!”*  
*sees Hans grin happily and then looks at Linn who has been observing all of that rather apathetically*  
*asks her with a smile*  
And what about you? Do you celebrate pride with them, do you flee from Hans and his friends or do you suffer through their afterglow?  
*sees how she looks at him and how she seems to consider*  
*doesn’t really get an answer to his question but instead hears her say: “I don’t understand why Matteo and you won’t go to pride. I thought that’s what you do when you’re gay…”*  
*briefly presses his lips together and thinks about what to answer*  
*after some time carefully says*  
I don’t think that every gay person automatically goes to pride. As far as I’m concerned, that it’s simply not my thing, I think. I like to party with friends, but I don’t like to party with strangers. That’s too close and impersonal for my taste… I simply wouldn’t feel comfortable there.  
*shrugs and almost expects a new discussion with Hans*  
*is a little astonished when he doesn’t say anything and instead puts his arm around Linn and tells her: “It’s really not that bad! I’d take you along if you want to come! And I’d also look out for you”!*  
  
Matteo:  
*is relieved when nobody asks any questions regarding Andi*  
*therefore quickly nods to Hans’ deal*  
*then listens to Linn and David*  
*nods to everything that David says, because he feels the same way*  
*then adds*  
You don’t like Alice Schwarzer only because you’re a woman, do you?  
*hears Hans’ suggestion and almost has to laugh*  
*isn’t surprised when Linn shakes her head: “No, thanks. I don’t like strangers, either”.*  
*grins at her*  
Linn understands us!  
  
David:  
*has to grin when Linn says that she doesn’t like strangers and nods at Matteo’s words*  
*tells Linn*  
I’d offer you asylum at my place for that day so that you won’t have to deal with all the strangers here. You could have the couch in our living room. But my sister will probably be there and she’s still a stranger to you… but she’s really nice. You can think about it…  
*sees Linn nod: “That’s nice of you. I rarely get invited to people’s homes”.*  
*sees her consider and she eventually says: “Your sister would only be one stranger. Here it would be several. But here I would have my own room. But if I wanted to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, I’d have to meet them”.*  
*watches her grimace and desperately say: “I don’t know what to choose”.*  
*is a little shocked for a moment because he didn’t want to cause such a stream of thought with his offer*  
*soothingly says*  
Hey, there’s still some time. Maybe you’ll meet my sister before that and then she won’t be a stranger anymore.  
*looks at Linn insecurely and doesn’t know if he said the right thing or of his words will cause something again*  
*is relieved when Linn nods and says: “Yes, maybe. Maybe that would be nice”.*  
*then hears Hans: “Well, my lovely butterflies, Hans has to go take a shower now and then he has a date – wohooo”!*  
*sees how he gets up and hears him say: “You can leave the footbath here for a little longer – who knows what the next couple of days will be like…”*  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to Linn and David and would love to somehow make it easier for Linn*  
*but also thinks that it’s simply what she’s like, to think about things and consider everything*  
Laura wanted to come over some day anyways, when everyone’s here, then you can meet her…  
*sees Linn smile and smiles back*  
*grins at Hans and lets out an unenthusiastic wohoo*  
Good luck!  
*nods and sees him disappear*  
A date during this weather… he’s determined…  
  
David:  
*looks after Hans and takes another sip*  
*leans back while still holding his glass and briefly closes his eyes and holds his face into the sun*  
*feels comfortable and sluggish and wouldn’t want to switch places with Hans and go outside again*  
*opens his eyes when he hears that somebody stood up by the sound of the water splashing*  
*sees that it’s Linn, who is standing in the middle of the pool, moving from one foot to the other, churning up the water*  
*sees her smile and hears her say: “I’m going for a swim”!, before getting out of the pool and disappearing into Matteo’s room without another word*  
*grins slightly and calls after her*  
Have fun!  
*closes his eyes again for a moment and thinks that the heat has gotten a little more bearable – at least if you don’t move and with your feet in the water*  
*remembers that he hasn’t told Matteo about the mail, yet, and turns his head in his direction*  
By the way, I have an appointment next week for a preliminary consultation for the mastectomy with a surgeon in Potsdam. I saw the mail that confirmed the appointment this morning when you were in the shower…  
*isn’t really nervous – it’s only a preliminary consultation and if he doesn’t like the surgeon, he’d simply go see some other surgeons as well*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins at Linn’s departure and quickly calls “have fun” after her*  
*turns his head to David, as well, when he talks to him*  
*smiles at the good news*  
Ah, very cool… that’s a good step for now. When exactly is the appointment? And where? Do we have to go very far?  
  
David:  
*isn’t really surprised anymore that Matteo is talking, thinking and planning about everything concerning the surgery in the we-form but notices it anyways and smiles slightly*  
*thinks for a moment*  
On the seventh at 11 o’clock.  
*shrugs*  
I have to look up the exact address and how to get there… but I do think that it’ll take us one to 1.5 hours.  
*smiles slightly*  
If it’s not as warm as today we could maybe spend the rest of the day in Potsdam afterwards. If you want to, that is…  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles when David smiles and is happy that he doesn’t argue about him coming along*  
*nods*  
But 11 sounds doable…  
*nods again and grins*  
Well, if there’s anything to do in Potsdam in the first place… but sure, we can do that.  
*hears his phone beep and pulls it out of his pocket*  
*sees a message from Jonas*  
_WhatsApp Matteo/Jonas:_  
_Jonas:_  
_Luigi, dude, I’ve got a date! Tomorrow! With Hanna! I can’t believe it!_  
*laughs slightly and quickly answers*  
_Matteo:_  
_Was about time ;) I’m happy for you, don’t screw it up :-P_  
*looks at David*  
Jonas has a date with Hanna… finally, I’d say…  
  
David:  
*grins slightly*  
Have you even been there before? Potsdam is really nice!  
*gets distracted by the beeping of Matteo’s phone and waits for him to read the message and answer it*  
*in the meantime, splashes around in the water a little with his feet*  
*looks up at Matteo’s words and smiles slightly*  
Cool!  
*then grins*  
So you expect them to get back together?  
  
Matteo:  
*simply shrugs about Potsdam*  
*then nods*  
Yes, I expect them to… they have been circling each other for so long… they both were lovesick, they both have spent some time working on themselves… so I think now it fits…  
*hears his phone beep again*  
_WhatsApp Matteo/Jonas:_  
_Jonas:_  
_Thanks, man. Do you think going to the movies and for ice cream is too cliché? Do I have to come up with something else?_  
*laughs and then looks at David*  
Is going to the movies and for ice cream too cliché for a date? Should I suggest sending coordinates? Although… /that/ didn’t go that well for you, did it?  
  
David:  
*listens to Matteo when he tells him about Jonas and Hanna and nods in agreement*  
I’d be happy for them!  
*was about to answer Matteo’s question about the cliché when he already asks the next question*  
*pfffs and ironically says*  
Haha…  
*hears his next question and sighs*  
Well, firstly: I think that food is never cliché – that’s somehow part of it. But I think movies is. Unless Hanna is really into movies. Then going to the movies is a good idea, of course. But he’s known Hanna for a few years, now – that’s really an advantage. He knows what she likes and can plan the date accordingly…  
*briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and in reference to their date at the Spree adds a little quieter*  
It was perfect with you. And it probably would have been even more perfect if I wasn’t constantly thinking about the fact that I really had to tell you that I was trans.  
*shrugs because they can’t really change that now anyways, and continues to splash his feet around in the water*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly*  
True, food’s always a good thing… hang on, I’ll quickly answer him  
*quickly types*  
_WhatsApp Matteo/Jonas:_  
_Matteo:_  
_Food is always a good idea, movies, I don’t know, Hanna isn’t that much of a movie-geek, is she? You know what she likes, make it more personal. You’ve got this!_  
*then hears what David has to say about their date at the Spree and reaches for his hand*  
Hey… it simply wasn’t the right moment…  
*prefers not to mention that he could have gone without the other extreme-alternative that David had chosen instead*  
And we can’t really say much about it, because we don’t really have anything references to compare it to, do we? Actually, you could take me out and woo me for once…  
*grins, because he’s not really serious about it and squeezes his hand*  
  
David:  
*nods, grins and teases him a little*  
Should I dictate it or can you remember what I said?  
*splashes some water in his direction with his foot*  
*then feels Matteo grab his hand and squeezes it a little*  
*shrugs again and says*  
Somehow there never was one… or there always was one… it wouldn’t have been more right or less right at the Spree than it would have been at your place…  
*but doesn’t really want to continue talking about all the what if’s as they have talked about that enough already and because they can’t change any of it, anyways, and is glad that Matteo immediately continues*  
*grins slightly at his words and says*  
You’re right about that…  
*then laughs*  
You’d like that, would you?  
*acts amused but actually doesn’t find the idea that bad*  
  
Matteo:  
*wrinkles up his nose in fake-offense*  
I managed, thanks.  
*then sees Jonas’ answer*  
_WhatsApp Matteo/Jonas:_  
_Jonas:_  
_Thanks, and tell David thanks, as well ;)_  
*laughs*  
Jonas says thanks!  
*then nods slightly to David’s comment that there probably was no right moment, but then doesn’t add anything else to that topic*  
*then laughs and nods exaggeratedly*  
Oh yes…  
*then shrugs and shakes his head*  
Well, we actually have thousands of little dates all the time.  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo thanks him from Jonas*  
He’s welcome.  
*laughs even more when Matteo nods exaggeratedly*  
That I can imagine… what would you like, Mister Florenzi? Cool or romantic or cheesy or… comfortable?  
*slightly wiggles his eyebrows*  
*then smiles when Matteo mentions the thousands of little dates and nods*  
True! And within the next 30 minutes I’d like to have a dinner date with you…  
*actually is a little hungry by now but doesn’t really want one of them, or probably Matteo, to have to stand in the kitchen and cook dinner during this heat and therefore suggests*  
Maybe we could order something and let others sweat for us while cooking…  
*dips both hands into the water to cool down his wrists and spreads the water on his forearms*  
*hopes that it will cool down some more before they go to bed*  
*thinks about the fact that the date-idea isn’t really bad at all and plans on coming up with something*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins at David’s question*  
*doesn’t really know if he really wants to do anything or if he just wants to tease him*  
*plays along anyways*  
Hmmmm… everything! Cool and romantic and comfortable and cheesy!  
*then nods*  
Yees… ordering something sounds good…  
*takes his phone out of his pocket again and opens the delivery-service app*  
Italian or Asian?  
  
David:  
*laughs at Matteo’s demands*  
You want me to go all in, huh?  
*sees Matteo take out his phone to order*  
Hmmm… Italian? I’d really love some spaghetti carbonara…  
*stretches and yawns once while Matteo orders*  
*murmurs*  
Somehow this weather really wears you out…  
*notices that Matteo is finished with ordering and then says*  
Now there’s only one question that remains: Shower before or after dinner? The advantage of before: We don’t have to move after dinner, the disadvantage: a warm meal would probably cause us to sweat so much that we have to shower again, anyways…or we simply go have a bath now…  
*grins and pretends to try to push Matteo into the kiddy pool*  
  
Matteo:  
*orders for both of them*  
*nods at David’s statement about the weather wearing you out*  
*sighs at David’s questions*  
Jeez, you’re asking some questions… ey!  
*clutches onto David*  
If I go down, you’ll go down with me!  
*gets up so that he’s standing in the pool and pulls David up with him*  
Might be a little too small for the both of us…  
*kisses him and then tugs at his shirt*  
Go take a shower and get rid of the binder… it’s too hot for that thing anyways, isn’t it?  
  
David:  
*laughs when Matteo clutches onto him and continues his attempts to free himself from him and to also push him off the chair into the kiddy pool*  
Aren’t we romantic? We’ll go down together…  
*but then gets pulled into a standing position by Matteo and stops laughing*  
*only chuckles, shrugs and looks down into the pool*  
True!  
*sighs and gets kissed*  
*automatically puts his arms on Matteo’s hips*  
*grins slightly*  
Well, at least I don’t put a sweater over my binder and shirt when it’s more than 30 degrees…  
*kisses him again and says as conciliation*  
No, you’re right! I actually curse that thing when it’s only 25 degrees… it’s really time I have the surgery…  
*detaches himself to go take a shower*  
*when he gets out he quickly splashes a gust of water against Matteo’s legs and then he disappears into Matteo’s room with a grin*  
Later…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs*  
That’s something!  
*gets another kiss and grins  
Absolutely… I hope that it won’t take too long so that you can still enjoy a bit of the summer…  
*lets go of him so that he can go take a shower*  
EY!  
*then laughs and looks after him*  
*sighs and gets out of the kiddy pool as well*  
  
  



	2. June 2, 2019 (2) - Whatever’s okay with you is okay with me…

**Sunday, 10:21 pm:**  
  
Matteo:  
*a few hours later both of them have showered and eaten*  
*David is still lazing on the chair and Matteo gets up and goes to the bed*  
*throws the blankets off the bed and then only grabs two clean covers from the wardrobe*  
During this weather only the covers are enough, right?  
  
David:  
*just like Matteo he only put on a shirt and boxer shorts after he showered but thinks that even this is too warm*  
*also thinks that he has too much hair, sweats and constantly pushes his hair off his face and neck*  
*smiles slightly at Matteo’s question and shrugs*  
Even those might be too much… but yeah, definitely better than the heavy blankets!  
*gets up from the chair and lets himself fall on the bed*  
*sprawls his limbs out and declares*  
So – and now the best thing would be to not move anymore, at all!  
*thinks that he might have to move again so that Matteo would fit on the bed as well*  
  
Matteo:  
*amusedly looks down at David*  
And I’m supposed to sleep on the armchair, or what was your plan?  
*takes off his shirt and throws it into a corner*  
*kneels down on the bed and tries to push David aside*  
  
David:  
*laughs sluggishly and looks over to the armchair*  
Oh, it’ll do for one night…  
*isn’t serious about that of course and wouldn’t want to spend the night without being close to Matteo*  
*grins when Matteo tries to push him aside and makes himself extra heavy*  
*lets him try it for a while but then grabs him and simply pulls him on top of him*  
*doesn’t care right now that it’s really warm – if necessary, he’ll simply go have another shower later – but he had to avoid physical contact for most of the day so he has some catching up to do now*  
*smiles at him and says*  
It works like this!  
*then grabs Matteo’s neck and tenderly pulls him down to him to kiss him*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs when David simply pulls him on top of him and makes himself extra heavy*  
*also thinks that it’s warm, but not too warm and that it’s definitely worth being close to David again*  
Works perfectly!  
*grins into the kiss and lets his hand wander up David’s side, over his collarbone and to his neck*  
*murmurs “screw the heat” against his lips*  
  
David:  
*also grins into the kiss and despite the heat gets goosebumps when Matteo’s hand wanders over his side*  
*tenderly strokes over Matteo’s naked back and enjoys being close to him*  
*only responds with an affirmative noise at Matteo’s comment and deepens the kiss while pressing Matteo closer to him*  
*realizes after a moment that being so close to Matteo and making out only causes them to be even warmer but tries to ignore it*  
  
Matteo:  
*after a while tenderly detaches from the kiss and looks at him*  
*smiles slightly and kisses him briefly*  
You look like you could use another shower…  
*tenderly pushes David’s hair off his forehead*  
I know I love to be clingy, but I’ll try to not do it tonight, ok?  
  
David:  
*grumbles when Matteo detaches from the kiss and has to grin sluggishly*  
Yes, I think I should just sleep in the shower…  
*closes his eyes for a moment when Matteo pushes his hair off his forehead and slightly shakes his head at Matteo’s suggestion*  
*murmurs*  
But I don’t want you to not be clingy…  
*continues to tenderly stroke his fingers over Matteo’s back and slightly grimaces at the thought that it’s a lot cooler for Matteo without a shirt than it is for him*  
*briefly has the crazy thought that he could also take his shirt off, but his heart immediately starts to race at the thought because no one has ever seen him without a shirt or binder*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly*  
That could get a little uncomfortable…  
*smiles and kisses him again, simply because he is so cute*  
I know that my cuddle-abilities are great… but it’s no use if you sweat yourself to death because of it…  
*grins and slightly tugs at his shirt*  
Maybe we should simply cut holes into it…  
  
David:  
*grins slightly when Matteo talks about sweating to death*  
At least with you on top of me it would be a pleasant death…  
*but then gets more serious when Matteo suggests cutting holes into his shirt*  
*sighs quietly, carefully pushes Matteo’s hair off his forehead and looks at him, all the while having that crazy thought whirling around in his head*  
*hasn’t really decided and to buy himself some time hesitantly says*  
Do you even know that you’re the only person I feel comfortable around without a binder? Where I don’t care at all when I don’t wear it…?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs*  
Careful, Mister Schreibner, that was almost romantic…  
*but then notices him getting more serious*  
*looks at him a little worried*  
*but then hears his words and his expression softens a little bit*  
That’s good… because I really don’t mind… and I want you to feel comfortable…  
*kisses him briefly but tenderly*  
So I don’t want you to sweat yourself to death…  
*therefore rolls off of him but leaves one arm draped over his stomach*  
  
David:  
*smiles at Matteo’s words and tenderly returns the kiss*  
*grumbles when Matteo rolls off him and tries to stop him*  
*grins slightly*  
Stay here…  
*but then lets go of him and turns to his side so that he can look at him*  
*thinks for some time and gnaws on his bottom lip*  
*hesitantly and pretty sheepishly says*  
With these temperatures maybe it would be worth a try… to test whether I still feel comfortable when I take my shirt off…?  
*all of a sudden feel his heart race and feels even hotter*  
*then insecurely adds*  
I mean if it’s okay with you…  
  
Matteo:  
*only grins slightly when David says that he should stay here*  
*isn’t really gone but only one centimeter away from him*  
*but then notices that he’s thinking about something and refrains from making a comment and waits*  
*gets wide-eyed when he hears what he says*  
*didn’t expect this at all*  
Of course… well, of course that’s okay with me…  
*looks at him lovingly and then takes his arm off him to squeeze his hand*  
Whatever’s okay with you is okay with me…  
  
David:  
*smiles insecurely at Matteo’s words even though he knows that he doesn’t have to be insecure in front of Matteo – but it’s still his first time, somehow*  
*but then remembers how insecure he felt when he took his binder off for the first time in front of Matteo and how quickly he felt comfortable without it in Matteo’s presence and thinks that it will be similar this time*  
*he also has the longing to really feel Matteo skin on skin – without any fabric between them*  
*squeezes Matteo’s hand back and leans forward to briefly kiss him again*  
*takes a deep breath and quietly says*  
Okay…  
*then suddenly remembers what the people in the flatshare are like and that it might be better to lock Matteo’s door to not have Linn or Hans standing by the bed in the middle of the night or tomorrow morning*  
*therefore gets up and goes to the door to lock it*  
*looks at the curtains to make sure that they are really shut and indecisively stays at the door for a moment*  
*then feels silly for turning this into such a big deal and simply pulls his shirt over his head without looking at Matteo*  
  
Matteo:  
*kisses him back*  
*smiles at him encouragingly*  
*is confused for a moment when David gets up*  
*sees him locking the door and nods*  
Smart…  
*looks at him and sees him hesitate*  
*was just about to tell him that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want when David already takes his shirt off*  
*is unable to speak for a moment*  
*not necessarily because it’s the first time that he sees him like this – that, too – but because it hits him what a huge display of trust this is*  
*swallows*  
*gets up, takes the two steps towards him, and wraps him in a hug*  
  
David:  
*would love to close his eyes in order to not see Matteo’s reaction but then sees from the corner of this eyes that Matteo gets up and immediately after feels Matteo wrap him in a hug*  
*only realizes that he had been holding his breath when he exhales shakily, wraps his arms around Matteo and slightly presses himself to him*  
*thinks that Matteo should be able to feel how fast his heart is beating right now but at the same time realizes that his heartbeat has calmed down a little bit due to Matteo’s closeness and feels himself relax a tiny bit*  
*has a lump in his throat again because Matteo takes him just the way he is and doesn’t seem to have a problem with anything, but swallows it and even smiles a little*  
*then searches for Matteo’s lips and kisses him slightly*  
*murmurs*  
I love you so much, do you even know that?!  
*laughs quietly because Matteo probably doesn’t have the slightest idea and kisses him again*  
*relaxes even more and now also notices how nice it is to not have a disturbing piece of fabric between Matteo and him*  
  
Matteo:  
*simply holds David tight and thinks he can feel him relax a little*  
*kisses him back and then leans his forehead against David’s*  
*feels his own heartbeat accelerate at David’s declaration of love and shakes his head slightly*  
*was just about to say it back when he gets kissed again*  
*murmurs “I love you, too” against his lips before he deepens the kiss and slowly leads him toward the bed*  
  
David:  
*has let himself be pulled to the bed by Matteo, where they continued kissing, sometimes tenderly and sometimes more forcefully, and at one point their boxers were in the way and had therefore been taken off, so that in the end one thing had led to the other*  
*thinks this is all pretty new and exciting and beautiful – skin on skin – and relaxes more and more, the more time they spend together*  
*”afterwards” they do consider whether to take another shower but then postpone it to tomorrow because neither of them wants to get up again, let alone run into anyone*  
*so simply put their boxers back on and decide against anything to cover them*  
*realizes that sometimes he is really relaxed about neither wearing a shirt nor a binder and that he sometimes even forgets to think about it*  
*at some point they fall asleep arm in arm despite the heat but before they do, they open the door to the balcony and tilt Matteo’s window hoping that during the night some cool air will come in*  
*in the middle of the night gets woken up by a loud bang and startles*  
*sits up and sees the curtains flutter in the wind and can loudly hear the heavy rain outside*  
*realizes that Matteo got woken up by the bang as well, and quickly gets up to close the door so that the rain doesn’t get inside*  
*murmurs into Matteo’s direction*  
I’ve got it…  
*holds one arm in front of his chest almost out of reflex and with his free hand pushes the curtain aside so that he can close the door*  
*sees the rain come down in torrents and closes the door at the exact moment when several flashes of lightning are lighting up the sky, quickly followed by loud thunder*  
*stays there, mesmerized, looking at the spectacle: The lightning, the heavy rain and the storm shaking the trees and their branches*  
*murmurs*  
Insane…  
*somehow really likes these forces of nature but is still glad to be safely inside Matteo’s apartment*  
*eventually hears Matteo’s murmuring that he should come back to bed and therefore tears his gaze away from the spectacle*  
*crawls back into bed and into the arms Matteo is holding out for him*  
*falls back asleep relatively quickly* 


	3. June 04, 2019 - Friends at the lake

**Tuesday, 4:37 pm:**

Matteo:  
*arrives at the lake on his bike together with David*  
*in the basket in the back he has a blanket and two jackets, in case it gets cooler later*  
*hears Abdi shouting when he sees him: "Luigi, we agreed on 4 o’clock! What is wrong with you?"*  
*laughs slightly and shrugs as he gets off his bike*  
*sees that everyone is actually already here*  
Had things to do...  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
*sees how Abdi grins and shakes his head and hears Carlos says: "And these things don’t have a name beginning with D?"*  
*laughs and shakes his head vehemently as he drops his bike on the grass*  
Never!  
*Abdi points to Hanna and Jonas, who are lying one blanket away and kiss: "They got back together yesterday and were on time!"*  
*rolls his eyes*  
You know it doesn't have the slightest effect on me if you call me out for it every time, right? I'm not going to be on time.  
*grabs the blanket that fell out of the bike’s basket and spreads it out next to the others' blankets*

David:  
*comes with Matteo to the lake and it is a little bit uncomfortable that they are late again - but together with Matteo he just forgot the time and could not get up earlier either*  
*but then realizes that Matteo knows how to deal with the complaints of Carlos and Abdi and grins slightly*  
*also gets off his bike and greets everyone as he puts his bike next to Matteo's*  
*then hears Abdi talking to him as Matteo spreads the blanket: "Hey, David, Brudi, can't you have some good influence there?"*  
*shrugs and grins slightly*  
I can try, but I can't promise anything... maybe his influence is rubbing off on me too...  
*plops down on the blanket*  
*then sees Kiki and Sam coming towards him from the lake and hears Kiki: "Oh, look - the gentlemen Florenzi and Schreibner have finally joined us..."*  
*hears her getting interrupted by Sam: "Wow, guys, the water is already totally warm! We're definitely gonna have to inaugurate lake season!"*  
*raises his hand to greet Kiki and Sam and looks up at Matteo, who's still standing*  
*smiles and pats his hand on the place next to him*

Matteo:  
*shakes his head laughing at Abdi's words to David*  
I'm difficult to train...  
*then grins broadly at David's answer*  
Exactly!  
*shakes his head again when Kiki joins in*  
Maybe you can write us a plan, Mrs. Machwitz.  
*then plops himself next to David on the blanket and leans his head immediately against his shoulder*  
*shakes his head at Sam's words*  
I'm doing just fine right here.  
*sees Sam shaking his head: "Whoa, Matteo, swimming is not exhausting. The water does the work for you."*

David:  
*immediately puts his arm around Matteo's shoulder as he leans his head against him and smiles slightly*  
*nods when Matteo says he's lying here quite comfortably and mumbles*  
I agree...  
*then sees Amira planting herself on the blanket next to them and saying to Sam, "Yo, chill out - you got the whole night to go into the lake," and then looking at him and Matteo: "Hey!"*  
*grins and greets her*  
*sees her grinning as well and hears her sighing: "Guys, we've finished school! How cool is that!? I still can't really believe it!"*  
*laughs softly and says*  
I haven't really realized it yet... probably will take me a few more days to realize! No more school!  
*stretches out his legs and faces the sun*  
*sees Amira smiling: "Exactly! Now go enjoy the summer before the serious stuff starts."*  
*hears her laughing and joins in*  
*sees how the others now also sit down on the blankets and Hanna and Jonas stop making out and turn towards them*  
*sees Jonas grinning at Matteo and him: "Oh, you’re here, too?!"*  
*grins again*  
Yeah, for quite a while! Congratulations on the reunion, by the way.*  
*sees Jonas and Hanna smiling and hears Hanna murmuring a quiet "thank you"*

Matteo:  
*grins at Amira and nods*  
Yeah... thanks again... without you I would have never made it in bio!  
*sees how she smiles and dismisses him*  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
No, the seriousness can stay where it is.  
*laughs at Jonas’ greeting*  
*was about to say exactly the same thing as David*  
Yeah, congratulations, it was about time!  
*sees them both grinning and then looking at each other happily*  
*is really happy for them*  
*is happy that he really is only happy and no longer has this subliminal jealousy*  
*looks up at David and thinks that he's hit the jackpot anyway*  
*then sees Amira getting angsty and says "I want to move... anybody wants to play badminton?"*

David:  
*notices that Matteo looks up to him and gives him a quick but tender kiss on the forehead and briefly runs a hand through his hair*  
*then hears Amira and looks at her expectantly: "Did you bring any rackets?!"*  
*sees her grinning and nodding and takes his arm off Matteo's shoulder*  
I'd like to...  
*looks briefly at Matteo, because on the one hand he would also have liked to continue sitting with him, but on the other hand he really has an urge to move*  
*sees Amira getting up and hears her say, "Yeah, perfect, I'll get the rackets!"*  
*leans over to Matteo again and kisses him on the mouth*  
See you later.  
*grins and then gets up*  
*jogs after Amira and takes one of the rackets*  
*hears Carlos shouting "Hey, I wouldn't do that, Amira. If David is as good at badminton as he is at ping-pong, you don't stand a chance against him!"*  
*looks at Carlos, grins and shrugs*  
Maybe you are just that bad... have you ever played ping-pong against Amira? Maybe she'd win there too ...  
*hears Amira laughing: "Yeah, right! "For sure."*  
*also laughs softly and moves away from Amira*  
*waits for her serve and sees out of the corner of his eyes that some of his friends have turned to watch their game*

Matteo:  
*shakes his head when David asks Amira if she brought rackets*  
*already suspects what is about to happen, namely that he will lose his extremely comfortable pillow*  
*pulls a face when David looks at him*  
*but then gets kissed and is reconciled a little bit and lets him go*  
*rolls over on his stomach so he can watch them*  
*laughs out loud at David's answer to Carlos*  
That's how it is!  
*sees relatively quickly that David is very superior to Amira*  
*also sees that he makes it as easy as possible for her but also that in the beginning she still hardly gets a ball*  
*hears Carlos laughing and yelling, "Come on, Amira, make an effort and take him down!"*  
*just laughs and shakes his head*  
I'm sorry, Amira, but you really don't have what it takes...  
*sees Amira glaring at him and shrugs his shoulders laughingly*  
You can't be the best at everything...

David:  
*notices quite fast that Amira can't play very well and therefore tries to play easy balls, because he thinks it's cool that she still wants to play*  
*hears the remarks of the others and is a bit afraid that Amira will lose interest if they continue like this*  
*is then relieved when Amira while picking up the ball again just responds: "Hey, David had advanced PE. You'd probably all lose against him too!"*  
*smiles at her and waits for her serve*  
*shrugs and says*  
It's not always about winning or losing...  
*sees her nodding and then serving him a pretty bad serve*  
*has to struggle to get it, but is happy that Amira gets his ball as well and they actually manage to play the ball back and forth a few times*

Matteo:  
*applauds as they play the ball a few times back and forth*  
*then sees Carlos rolling up beside him, also on his stomach, and offering him a pack of cookies*  
*immediately takes one*  
Thanks!  
*hears him say: "You’re welcome. So tell me, how turned on are you by watching him do sports? It looks pretty hot, huh?  
*rolls his eyes*  
Dude, it's getting a little creepy how much this interests you... Do you have something to tell me?  
*Carlos looks at him all surprised and says, "What?"*  
*laughs slightly*  
Well, that you’re into David, for example?  
*hears everyone cheering and looks quickly to see that Amira has played a good ball*  
*applauds again*

David:  
*doesn't notice much of what the others are doing but concentrates on their game and is happy that Amira seems to be getting the hang of it*  
*then actually doesn’t get a pass from her and has to laugh when he hears all the applause*  
*grins to Amira*  
You’re getting there...  
*sees her tilting her head back and forth and then hears her laughing: "You know I can tell you're not trying very hard, right?"*  
*looks at her indignantly, but then laughs*  
But even if I put more effort into it I'd still have a lot of trouble getting the last ball...  
*looks briefly at the blankets and sees that Carlos has laid down next to Matteo*  
*smiles at Matteo as their eyes meet*  
*then bends down to pick up the ball and looks at Amira to see if she is ready before he passes the ball to her*  
*at some point hears Kiki, who has approached them, saying: "Don't you have two more rackets, so that we can play a double? I feel like moving a bit…”*

Matteo:  
*hears Carlos laughing as he asks, "So what, you got nothing to worry about, Brudi."*  
*nudges him lightly in the side*  
I know...  
*then looks back at David and Amira*  
*sees how David looks over and smiles back automatically*  
*hears Carlos laughing again: "Absolutely nothing to worry about. What does he see in you again?"*  
*this time he elbows him in the side a little harder*  
Shut up.  
*then hears Kiki's suggestion and grins at Carlos*  
I bet you're about to be asked to join, get ready...  
*sees Amira running to her bag and grabbing two more rackets, and Kiki turning towards the blanket, "Well, who else is up for it?"*  
*skillfully looks somewhere else*

David:  
*looks excitedly to the others at Kiki's question and grins slightly as Matteo looks somewhere else*  
*then Kiki hears again: "Oh come on guys! Carlos!"*  
*has to grin when he sees Carlos pulling a face and shaking his head*  
*then watches Jonas getting up and hears him say: "I'll join in - I don't want our Carlito here to overexert himself!"*  
*sees how Kiki looks at Jonas gratefully and at Carlos punishing, and he hears Carlos shouting: "Hey babe, I'll play a solo with you later! I promise!"*  
*slightly grins again and sees Jonas accepting the racket and asking: "Boys against girls or mixed doubles?"*  
*shrugs and suggests*  
Mixed doubles?  
*has no idea how good Kiki and Jonas are and how it would be the most fairly distributed*  
*sees Kiki joining him on his side and calling to Jonas and Amira: "We can always switch later..."*  
*then waits for Amira to serve*

Matteo:  
*observes the team distribution and is very glad that he was spared of joining*  
*takes another cookie and grins at Carlos*  
Now we can cheer for the same team!  
*then sees Kiki playing back Amira's serve and Jonas playing a hard ball which David catches but Jonas then can't reach*  
*hears Carlos yelling "Well done babe" and smiles*  
Yeah, doing great, babe!  
*sees David's horrified look and just laughs*

David:  
*thinks Kiki's first hit is not so bad and is happy that they switched to doubles*  
*then grins when Jonas can't get his ball back, and at Carlos’ yelling*  
*but then hears Matteo yelling as well and can't help but look at him in horror for a moment*  
*but then he has to laugh and exchanges a glance with Kiki, who also grins slightly*  
*shakes his head and says slightly embarrassed*  
Usually we are not the type for pet names...  
*Kiki hears laughing: "Yeah, no, of course!"*  
*then hears Jonas: "Hey, guys, stop chatting and concentrate on the game! It continues!"*  
*actually concentrates again and plays for quite a while*  
*even if Kiki and he are a little bit superior to Jonas and Amira, the game is a little more balanced in doubles than in singles*  
*hears Amira saying at some point: "Well... enough sports for today! I am exhausted! Does anyone else want to?!"*  
*stops with the racket in her hand and looks around*  
*hears Kiki saying: "They are all too lazy... and I think I feel more like a swim now!" and Jonas: "Cool, swimming! I'm joining! - Hey Hanna? Let’s go swimming?"*  
*realises that badminton is over, and gives the racket back to Amira*  
*goes back to the blankets and in the meantime sees that most of the friends are actually getting ready to go swimming*  
*drops down between Carlos and Matteo and grins slightly when he hears both of them groaning slightly*  
*hears Carlos: "Well, I think I won't be able to avoid swimming, since I already chickened out of badminton. What about you guys?"*  
*shakes his head and says*  
Not now. I need a break.

Matteo:  
*sees how the badminton group is dissolving and is already looking forward to getting David back*  
*hears that the next plan is swimming and immediately thinks that he and David are probably not joining*  
*hopes David won't mind too much*  
*groans as David lets himself fall between them*  
*also shakes his head*  
No, no, I'll stay here.  
*sees Carlos grinning and nodding: "Of course... you just want some privacy!"*  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
Maybe...  
*then sees everyone running towards the lake*  
*hears Jonas shouting at them: "You watch over our stuff, right?"*  
*just shows him a thumbs up and sees him joining the others*  
*turns on his side and looks at David*  
*tries to see if he's okay*  
*then asks quietly*  
All good?

David:  
*hears that Matteo doesn't want to go swimming either and is happy to spend some time alone with him, but doesn't want him to give up swimming because of him*  
*also turns to the side as everyone disappears towards the lake and is now a few centimetres away from Matteo, facing him*  
*smiles slightly when being asked if everything is alright and nods*  
All good!  
*then examines him and says quietly*  
You really don't have to give up swimming because of me... Surely you want to go in the water too...

Matteo:  
*shakes his head and frowns*  
Uh-uh!  
*puts his arm around David’s waist*  
I'm lazy... I'd rather lay here with you...  
*looks at him and smiles*  
It’s pretty relaxed, isn't it? I mean, without Carlos' stupid comments...

David:  
*has to smile slightly at Matteo's Uh-uh and automatically moves a little closer to him as he puts his arm around his hip*  
*grins at Matteo’s mention that he's lazy and nods knowingly*  
*then laughs softly*  
Yeah... pretty relaxed...  
*smiles and raises his hand to stroke his cheek*  
*just looks at him and realizes that he still has heart palpitations when they look at each other like that*  
*bends over a little at some point and kisses him briefly*  
*then mumbles*  
But you're not giving up swimming this whole summer because of me, are you?

Matteo:  
*smiles into the kiss*  
*wants to kiss him again immediately*  
*but lets it be when he hears him*  
*shakes its head*  
No, but I am really lazy... and going in the water with Abdi and Carlos is really exhausting...  
*grins slightly and brushes a strand of hair from his forehead*  
Besides, I always prefer to be where you are...  
*smilingly shrugs one shoulder and gives him a kiss*

David:  
*grins slightly when he says that it is exhausting to be in the water with Carlos and Abdi and nods with raised eyebrows*  
*then stops grinning and smiles as he strokes a strand of hair from his forehead and smiles even more at his next words*  
*mumbles another*  
Ditto...  
*before he is kissed*  
*kisses him a little longer this time and meanwhile wraps his arm around him and pulls him closer*  
*nudges his nose against Matteo's as they release the kiss and looks at him with a smile*  
*hears the others raving and shouting in the water and says softly to Matteo*  
A little bit of peace and being alone with you is actually not that bad...  
*then sighs briefly and shifts a little bit away from him again to be able to look at him better*  
*seems thoughtful for a moment as he realizes that this could actually be the first summer in years where he might miss swimming if they meet more often at the lake now*  
*consoles himself with the thought that his mastectomy will be done by the next summer and hopefully he will be able to go into the water without any problems or dysphoria*

Matteo:  
*smiles slightly at David's "Ditto"*  
*then enjoys the kiss and is only too happy to be drawn closer*  
*grumbles slightly as David releases the kiss*  
*but nods with a smile at his words*  
I think so, too...  
*then looks a little worried as he sighs*  
*tilts his head slightly when David becomes thoughtful*  
*waits if he says something and nudges him slightly when he doesn't*  
Hey... what's going on? Is it because of the swimming?   
*thinks for a moment how he can help him*  
*what he could say or suggest*  
We could go swimming sometime... maybe in the evening... when nobody is around anymore?

David:  
*is torn out of his thoughts when Matteo nudges him*  
*feels a little bit caught, but then smiles a bit, because Matteo knows what it is all about*  
*shrugs slightly at his question and considers how he can best explain to Matteo what is going on inside him*  
*then smiles again at his proposal and thinks about it*  
*sighs a second time and then says*  
I never really missed swimming... because the possibility did not offer itself to me... so when people I knew went to the lake, I never even went, because it wasn't so important to me...  
*chews briefly on his lower lip and continues*  
... but now... just now for the first time since I was little I really felt like going into the water again... it was a strange feeling...   
*shakes his head and says*  
Next year it will be easier... when I have the mastectomy behind me... and until then...  
*is struggling with himself but then says*  
Yeah, maybe we can actually go sometime in the evening...  
*knows that this will be hard for him to overcome, but just the idea of being in the water with Matteo, touching him in the water, splashing around and swimming with him is probably worth every effort*  
*then looks at him again and says seriously*  
And I really don't want you to give anything up because of me, okay? So if you want to go swimming with your friends, then please do so! Next year I'll be joining during the daytime too...

Matteo:  
*listens to him very carefully*  
*was just about to say that they don't have to go to the lake, but lets him finish first*  
*nods slightly when he says that it will be easier next year*  
*sighs slightly and then searches for words*  
*looks at him lovingly and then starts talking*  
You know, it's no big sacrifice on my part, okay? And you don't have to feel guilty or anything... I really do what I want to do... and that's to be where you are. It's easy.  
*gently runs his hand, which is resting on David's back with his arm over his hip, up and down*  
And if you want to go swimming, we can do that... in the evening, with a t-shirt... or we can find something to bind, which you can also wear in the water....  
*keeps caressing his back and looks at him lovingly*  
But if it's all too much or you feel uncomfortable, we'll continue with footbaths and do it all next year, ok?

David:  
*looks at him a bit skeptical at first when Matteo says that this is not a big sacrifice for him, but then sees his loving look and hears his words and knows in that moment that he means it exactly that way*  
*feels a little lump in his throat and is slightly overwhelmed at first when Matteo says that he wants to be where he is*  
*is quite touched and asks himself what he did to deserve Matteo*  
*thinks that he has never known anyone who has shown so much consideration for him without having the feeling of putting themselves behind*  
*swallows the lump, smiles and nods*  
*says quietly and with a slightly husky voice*  
Okay...   
*puts his hand back to Matteo's cheek and looks at him lovingly*  
Thank you... for being the way you are...  
*listens to him further and laughs softly when he mentions the footbaths*  
At 33 degrees footbaths don't really do anything... you know that...  
*then sighs again and decides*  
No, let's do that... going swimming in the evening... the two of us... alone.  
*grins slightly and brushes the hair out of his forehead*

Matteo:  
*notices that David has to swallow*  
*smiles slightly at his okay*  
*shakes his head slightly and then tilts it*  
I practiced for a long time...  
*then grins slightly*  
Well, they have helped a little bit....  
*then nods*  
Okay, let's do it.  
*then leans slightly against his hand and bends over to give him a short kiss*  
*then says very quietly with a mischievous smile*  
You're sure going to look hot in the water.... 

David:  
*has to think about their first footbath briefly and that the 33 degrees have at least ensured that he can now show himself to Matteo on hot nights and during sex without the binder which is already a relief*  
*would probably wear a shirt while swimming in the lake, because you never know who is there at night*  
*smiles when Matteo gives him a kiss and grumbles in protest when he breaks it*  
*then turns a little red at his words and laughs embarrassed*  
Well, I don't know...  
*looks at him and gently strokes his hand over the shirt on his chest*  
*mumbles*  
You, on the other hand...   
*smiles slightly and shrugs*  
*says a little uncertainty*  
We could take a shower together... just for practice... in case we should have the flat to ourselves sometime in this life...  
*laughs quietly, because the probability is quite low - at least in the flatshare*

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly when David says that he would look rather hot*  
*is not very good with compliments yet and laughs it off a little*  
Sure, I always look hot...  
*then wiggles his eyebrows a little bit when David suggests showering*  
I'd love to...  
*then laughs*  
So never....  
*bends down again to kiss him*  
*deepens the kiss relatively quickly and draws him closer*

  
David:  
*smiles slightly when Matteo laughs about the compliment and nods in agreement*  
Sure...  
*actually finds him hot, but mostly just beautiful*  
*laughs with Matto when he says that the showering will never happen and shrugs*  
*then wiggles his eyebrows slightly and tilts his head*  
Or... when Laura is at work...  
*grins again and is then kissed*  
*sighs softly into the kiss and lets himself be pulled closer*  
*then gently pushes Matteo on his back so that he can lie more comfortably as he deepens the kiss and bends over him*  
*runs his hand through his hair and continues kissing him*  
*enjoys the closeness and has heart palpitations at the thought of how much Matteo means to him and how lucky he is to have him at his side*  
*then suddenly he hears Jonas' voice: "Well - enough togetherness for you! The pack returns to the shore!"*  
*grumbles quietly and slowly releases the kiss*  
*then gets splashed with water and hears Sam laughing: "A little refreshment for you?!*  
*turns his head with a grin and sees that she has shaken her hair out over them*  
*puts his head on Matteo's shoulder and makes himself comfortable*  
*now also sees Kiki and hears her say: "The water is wonderful! Next time you have to come in with us!"*  
*only nods slightly and doesn't say anything - he doesn't have to either, because now all the others join in and talk at once*  
*puts his arm around Matteo - is not yet ready to really let go of him*

Matteo:  
*wraps one arm around David's neck and puts the other hand on his cheek after he laid down on him*  
*moves his hips a little, just to have a little more contact with him*  
*grumbles immediately when he hears a voice that does not fit into this picture*  
*looks accusingly at both Sam and Jonas*  
*wraps his arm around David when he lies on his shoulder*  
*just nods when Kiki says they should come next time*  
*wonders why neither of them is smart enough to think that this is not possible for David yet*  
*then sees Hanna appearing in his field of vision and how she puts her arms around Jonas' stomach from behind*  
*hears her whisper and sees both of them move back to their blanket*  
*then sees Carlos and Abdi showing up and hears Abdi say: "Hey you two slackers, we want to play Flunkyball, are you in?*

David:  
*looks up at Abdi and Carlos as they appear in front of them and frowns at their question*  
*has heard of Flunkyball before and knows that it has something to do with beer, but has never played it himself*  
*shrugs his shoulders slightly and looks back and forth between the two boys and Matteo*  
If someone explains the rules to me... I've never played this before!  
*hears Carlos laugh, "Dude, how have you never played this before?!"*  
*and Abdi: "Oh man, then it's about time! Let's go."*  
*grumbles slightly because he has to get away from Matteo, but straightens up while Carlos says: "I'll get beer and a ball" and Abdi explains: "It's very easy - it's almost self-explanatory!*  
*laughs a bit insecurely, because he still doesn't know how the game actually works and says*  
O-kay...

Matteo:  
*gets up together with David*  
*explains the game briefly to David and ends with*  
....it is actually just drinking lots of beer very fast....   
*then looks at him slightly worried*  
Do you really want to play?  
*hears Abdi laughing: "Why shouldn't he? It's about drinking beer, who doesn't like that?"*  
*ignores Abdi and continues to look at David*  
You really don't have to.... 

David:  
*nods gratefully as Matteo explains the rules to him and then takes a look at the clock to see that it is now just before seven*  
*then sees Matteo's worried look, smiles slightly and shrugs his shoulders*  
*ignores Abdi as well and gives Matteo a short kiss, because he thinks it's sweet that he is worried*  
*then says to Abdi and Matteo*  
I'll play along for a beer or two... it's still early... I don't want to be drunk at eight already...  
*hears Abdi laughing: "Well, you are hardly drunk from one or two beers at eight..."*  
*looks at Matteo again and says quieter*  
It's all right, don't worry!  
*knows his limits and does not intend to get drunk so early*  
*then stands up and extends his hand to Matteo to help him up*  
*then hears Carlos calling: "Ey, Brudis! Everything is set up! Are you coming!?"*

Matteo:  
*nods slowly as David says he will join in*  
*says softly*  
Okay... but if it gets too much, you'll let me know, right?  
*then gets up when Carlos calls and goes over there with David*  
*sees Carlos laughing and pointing at David: "You're on my team... no couples teams at Flunkyball!*  
*laughs slightly and shakes his head*  
*goes with Abdi to one side and grabs the ball*  
*sees how the rest of the group turns to watch them*  
Okay, here we go, ready?  
*sees everyone nodding and throws the ball*  
*hits bottles and grabs his beer at the same time as Abdi to drink while the others are setting the bottles back up*  
*hears Carlos shout "Done!" and puts down his only half full beer*  
*gets ready to run when he sees that David will throw next*  
*starts running just as the ball just leaves his hands*  
*sets up the bottles again together with Abdi as fast as they can and hears Abdi yelling "Done!”*  
*hears Carlos asking David as he goes back, "That's all you drank? Didn't anyone ever teach you to drink properly?"*  
*gets slightly angry and turns around when they get back on their side*  
*waits for David's answer before he decides if he's going to throw anything at Carlos' head*

David:  
*grins slightly when Carlos says that there are no couples teams and joins him*  
*then helps Carlos setting up the bottles and wonders how this can work quickly when you are drunk, but then thinks that this is probably the challenge of the game*  
*then throws the ball himself and hits several bottles*  
*grabs his beer, drinks and puts it down again when Abdi calls "Done"*  
*looks at his and Carlos' beer at Carlos' words to him and realizes that Carlos actually drank almost twice as much as him.*  
*grins slightly insecure and shrugs his shoulders*  
Hey... first game! I'm still practicing...  
*then hears Carlos again: "Hey, we have to play this more often... then the booze will run by itself at some point..."*  
*grins again and then watches how Abdi throws the ball*  
*gets immediately ready to run and sets up the bottles again with Carlos*  
*is a little bit faster this time setting the bottles back up and then shouts loudly: "Done!"*

Matteo:  
*raises his eyebrows, when David says he is still practicing*  
*is about to say something, when Abdi throws the ball*  
*curses quietly and then grabs his bottle*  
*the bottle is almost empty when David calls done*  
*burps quite loudly and hears the rest of the group applauding*  
*hears Jonas laugh: "Luigi is always the first to burp!"*  
*laughs*  
Because I can!  
*then hears Carlos: "Okay, concentration now, we have to try really hard, David, or Luigi will be done soon!"*

David:  
*grins, when Matteo burps so loudly and the rest of the group applauds*  
*then looks at Carlos at his words to him, grins slightly and says sarcastically*  
How nice that you don't put me under any pressure...  
*but gets ready to reach for the bottle when Carlos starts to throw*  
*but then sees that Carlos doesn't hit the bottles in the middle at all and hears him howling loudly*  
*has no idea what happens now and looks around questioningly*  
Um... and what happens now?  
*hears Abdi and Matteo cheering and Abdi laughing: "Now it's our turn and I guess we'll win the first round!"*  
*looks at Carlos and shrugs his shoulders*  
*is a little bit glad that he is not to fault that they will probably lose this round*  
*hears Carlos murmuring "Sorry, man..." 

Matteo:  
*was about to shout "leave him alone" when Carlos already throws and misses*  
*laughs very loud*  
Oh, oh, now I am under pressure....  
*runs to get the ball and runs back to Abdi*  
*hears Jonas cheering him on and grins*  
*throws the ball, hits and 5 seconds later yells at the same time as Abdi: "Done!*  
*hears Carlos saying: "Sorry, man... honestly... but we will get them in the second round, okay?"*  
*but then sees Jonas and Hanna getting up and Jonas announces: "We want to join in!"*  
*hears Carlos immediately shouting: "Jonas joins us!"*  
*sees how Hanna gives him the middle finger as she goes over to them*  
Ha, Carlos has obviously never seen you drink before... let's go!

David:  
*runs off with Carlos to put the bottles back up, but does not succeed before Abdi and Matteo call "done"*  
*shakes his head when Carlos apologizes and says slightly grinning*  
Well, let's see... and how does it work now? Do we keep our beer or does everyone get a new one?  
*hears Carlos explain: "Nah, we keep ours... in the end we count up who has the most empty bottles..."*  
*nods as a sign that he has understood and thinks that this is not so bad*  
*then grins to Jonas, who has joined them and brought a full bottle of beer*  
*takes the ball and looks questioningly at Jonas and Carlos*  
Ready?  
*sees both of them nodding and throws the ball at the bottles*  
*hits several again and reaches for his beer*  
*this time drinks already bigger sips than in the first round, while he sees out of the corner of his eye how Abdi, Hanna and Matteo put the bottles back up*  
*hears the three of them and Carlos shouting "Done!" at the same time and grins as Carlos triumphantly holds up his empty bottle and gets a new beer from the crate*

Matteo:  
*just laughs, when Carlos looks so happy*  
Wow, congratulations!  
*sees how Carlos shakes his head*  
*grabs the ball and hands it to Hanna*  
Finish them off!  
*sees Hanna grinning and gets ready to drink*  
*Hanna throws the ball and knocks over some bottles*  
*drinks, but this time not as long, because Jonas is there and quickly shouts "done!"*  
*then hears Jonas saying: "Let's bet on something... the team that wins in the end... um... " then hears Carlos finishing: "... is not allowed to talk to the other team for the rest of the day, unless they are addressed...".  
*Hanna, Jonas, Matteo and David all shake their heads at the same time and the rest laughs*

David:  
*runs, when Hanna throws the ball and helps to set up the bottles*  
*has to laugh quietly when he sees how routinely Jonas proceeds and tries hard not to get in his way*  
*hears Carlos suggestion and shakes his head immediately*  
*grins when he sees that Jonas, Hanna and Matteo also shake their heads*  
*hears Hanna's suggestion: "The team that loses, owes the other team a back massage!*  
*laughs and nods*  
I could get behind that...  
*then hears Abdi saying: "Dude no, I am not giving Calos a massage!"*  
*and Carlos: "How nice of you to assume that you will lose!"*  
*then hears Jonas: "I like back massages!"*  
*sees Jonas grabbing the ball and when everyone is ready, throwing it*  
*grabs his beer as the bottles fall and realizes that there is not so much left in it*  
*drinks in big sips and finally calls out grinning*  
Done!  
*sees Carlos grinning as well and hears him say: "Nice, Brudi!"*  
*returns his high five and takes a new beer out of the crate*  
*already feels the alcohol a little bit, but thinks that one more is still okay*

Matteo:  
*kicks Abdi when he says that he doesn't wants to massage Carlos*  
We will win!  
*sees how Abdi shakes his head: "I don't want Carlos giving me a massage either, Diggi!"*  
*shrugs his shoulders and grins slightly*  
Who would you prefer?  
*sees how Abdi grins and hears him say "David"*  
*knows that he only said this to annoy him and wants to reply just when Jonas is ready*  
*runs to the bottles, but can't finish setting them up because David is done*  
*grabs the ball and waits for David to get a new beer from the crate*  
*when he sees how slowly David walks back, he calls over*  
We want to continue today, Mr. Schreibner!

David:  
*gives Matteo the middle finger and grins as he rushes him*  
*goes back to his position extra slowly and sees that Abdi has the ball now*  
*plays a few more rounds with the five, but notices that he is already a little tipsy from the second beer*  
*is in the mood to get a little drunk today, but doesn't want to be really drunk at eight o'clock either, but rather wants to stretch it out a little over the evening*  
*now empties his second beer (has only two gulps left anyway) after Jonas has thrown the ball and calls out*  
Done!  
*grins as Carlos cheers, but then says*  
I'm out for now...  
*hears Carlos: "Hey, you can't do that now! I feel like you're just getting warmed up..."*  
*just shakes his head and laughs*  
As I said: I don't want to be drunk at eight already... I am just not used to anything!  
*sees how Carlos looks at him seriously: "We definitely have to change that!*  
*then hears Jonas shouting in the direction of the others: "Will one of you fill in for David?"*

Matteo:  
*sees and hears that David quits and smiles at him briefly*  
*is tempted to quit as well when Sam stands up: "I'm in!"*  
*waits until Sam has gotten herself a beer and is in position*  
*sees from the corner of his eye how Kiki got up to sit next to David and pities him for a moment*  
*but then it is his turn to throw and concentrates back on the game*  
*does not hear Kiki asking David: "And? Everything good? Drunk already?"*

David:  
*high-fives with Sam as she takes his place and sits back down on their blanket - facing the game, so he can watch*  
*thinks briefly whether he should take out his sketchbook and draw a little, because the others seem to be absorbed in the conversation when Kiki suddenly sits down next to him*  
*laughs softly at her question*  
A little buzzed... but yes, everything is fine! And you?  
*sees her waving a bottle of champagne in her hand: "Ditto buzzed, but yes, I'm fine! And what do you think about our lake spot? Or had Matteo shown it to you before?"*  
*shakes his head and says*  
No, this is my first time here. It is really nice here - not so overcrowded!  
*hears Kiki laughing: "Wait until summer break! You can hardly walk here anymore and in the water it is also super full! How is that actually for you? Must be really uncomfortable to go into the water, or is that no problem for you?!"  
*looks at Kiki slightly shocked when she gets so personal and stammers*  
Um...  
*then thankfully hears Kiki realize her mistake: "Oh, sorry, was that too personal? Must be the champagne..."*  
*hears her giggle and nods*  
*then grins slightly and says*  
Yep - too personal...  
*then wants to distract from the topic and asks*  
And what have you planned? After the summer? To study?

Kiki:  
*nods at his question*  
Yes, study.... preferably psychology, but I still have to compare the different universities, you know? Range of courses, quality of life, professors, stuff like that.  
*then looks over at him*  
And you? Are you staying in Berlin?  
*then hears rejoicing and sees how Matteo is happy because he has emptied his bottle*  
Or do you make that dependent on Matteo? I find it difficult, don't you? On the one hand, I want to be where Carlos is, of course, but on the other hand I don't want to be one of those people who bases their whole future on their boyfriend. What do you think about that? How do you do that?  
*looks at him questioningly, without the slightest sense that she might be talking too much*  
*takes another sip of her champagne*

David:  
*nods at her plan and just mumbles*  
Cool...  
*draws up his legs as he hears her next question and looks briefly over at the flunky ball players before turning to Kiki again*  
*just wanted to answer, when she already continues*  
*has to suppress a grin and waits when she is finished, to see if she is really finished or if something else is coming*  
*then answers hesitantly*  
I don't think it's a bad thing if you think about your partner to a certain extent... I mean, with psychology that's possible, isn't it? You can study it almost anywhere...  
*looks over to Matteo and automatically has to smile*  
*then turns to Kiki again and says with a shrug*  
Matteo doesn't know exactly what he wants to do... If I get a place to study somewhere farther away, he wants to come along... but if he finds something here that he enjoys, then I'll make sure that I accept a place to study nearby - preferably in Berlin of course...

Kiki:  
*looks at him and tilts her head slightly*  
That's cute. You guys. Together.  
*looks at Matteo and then back at David*  
You know, it's really nice to see him like this. He was always kind of grumpy, quiet, stoned before. And now, thanks to you, he's much more open and all.  
*doesn't even realize how insulting she actually is and just continues*  
I was a bit surprised when he suddenly got together with Sara. I mean, she is somehow... different. And he never seemed particularly enthusiastic either. Well...  
*laughs slightly*  
...now we know why. I am really happy for you, that you made it and I am fully supporting you!

David:  
*laughs softly when Kiki calls him and Matteo cute*  
*has heard this several times already and feels honored that people see them that way, but in the end it's all about how Matteo and he see and feel as a couple*  
*also looks at Matteo, who is slightly staggering as he rushes forward to put the bottles back up and smiles slightly*  
*asks himself briefly what Matteo is like when he is really drunk and somehow he gets the desire for another beer*  
*but then listens to Kiki again and automatically nods when she says that it's nice to see him like this*  
*then frowns at her next words, shakes his head and looks at her again*  
*interrupts her*  
I don't think it's just because of me that he's like that. Everybody sometimes has a bad phase... maybe he wasn't well because of other things... or you just always experienced his grumpy days...  
*thinks that Kiki probably doesn't know Matteo too well and that it's none of her business, so he doesn't add anything to it*  
*then hears about the thing with Sara and that Kiki assumes that she knows why Matteo never seemed very enthusiastic and is annoyed because he has the feeling that Kiki doesn't know anything about Matteo, but thinks she knows him*  
*doesn't really know what to say about it, because he doesn't wants to argue with Kiki at their first real conversation and mumbles*  
This is nice...  
*when she says that she is supporting them*  
*the whole thing doesn’t leaves his mind and says at some point*  
Maybe you just don't know Matteo that well...  
*does not look at her, but back at Matteo*

Kiki:  
*frowns slightly when David says that she only noticed the grumpy days*  
*has seen Matteo almost every day at school*  
*smiles when he says it is nice and takes another sip from the bottle of champagne*  
*is then quite surprised when he says something afterwards and looks at him shocked*  
*but since he does not look at her, she has to speak up*  
What do you mean? Of course I know him... we have been going to the same school for 6 years. So sure, you know him differently, but sorry, not that long either, right?  
*raises her eyebrows slightly*  
*doesn't like to be told that she is sees something wrong*

David:  
*looks at Kiki again when she contradicts him and sighs softly because she does not understand what he means*  
*nods to her words*  
Yeah, I don't know him that long... I didn't say I knew him better than you did. Different, yes!  
*frowns briefly and searches for words before hesitantly saying*  
The only thing I wanted to say is that maybe there are reasons for everything... reasons that he was or is quiet and stoned, reasons why you felt he is not very enthusiastic about his relationship with Sara - and I don't mean the fact that he might be gay, but rather the question why he was with Sara anyway... and I probably haven’t erased these reasons or causes just with my mere existence... maybe there is more to it than you might think at first sight... or do you know the reasons for all the things you just criticized about him?  
*says it all quite calmly and not in an aggressive way, but very clearly* 

Kiki:  
*looks at him quite surprised*  
*does not quite understand what he wants to tell her*  
*because no matter the reason Matteo was better since he met David*  
*tilts her head slightly when he asks her a question*  
Okay, maybe I don't know the causes. But I still don't understand why my statement was wrong because of that. Or don't you /want/ to be the reason that he is better?  
*frowns*

Matteo:  
*has emptied his fourth bottle of beer and already feels the alcohol pretty well*  
*uses the break and looks over to the blanket*  
*sees that Kiki and David are still talking*  
*also sees that David is talking quite determinedly*  
*decides to save him*  
Guys, I'm out!  
*throws the ball to Hanna and walks slowly over to the blanket*  
*sees that David noticed him coming and grins slightly*  
*then stops in front of the blanket and looks at Kiki, who is sitting very close to David*  
Scoot over.

David:  
*can almost see Kiki thinking and somehow has little hope that she can follow what he said*  
*shakes his head at her question*  
I don't want to be the reason that he gets better - if I don't know if this really eliminates the causes. I want to be the reason that he is doing well now, yes...  
*sees her confused look, sighs once and thinks about how he can explain it to her better*  
*but then sees that Matteo is coming towards them and is quite happy to see him and to be saved*  
*smiles at him broadly and moves a little to the side so that he has space to sit*  
*sees that Kiki is doing the same thing, although she was apparently still not really satisfied with his answer and would probably have asked again if Matteo hadn't shown up*  
*but prefers to talk to Matteo and asks with a grin*  
So, did you win? Or just had enough alcohol?

Matteo:  
*notices very well that their conversation ended abruptly when he came*  
*but that's what he wanted to happen*  
*drops on the blanket, when both of them make some space*  
Enough alcohol... but I think we were in the lead...  
*shrugs and then puts his head against David's shoulder*  
*then sees Kiki smiling slightly and getting up*  
I'm going back to Amira.  
*nods with a grin*  
Do that...  
*waits until she is out of earshot and then moves his head away from his shoulder to look at David*  
Was it very bad?

David:  
*grins at Matteo's statement and says*  
You think!?  
*laughs softly and immediately puts his arm around him as he leans his head against his shoulder*  
*briefly hides his face in Matteo's hair and enjoys having him close again*  
*just nods as Kiki gets up and is somehow relieved that she is gone*  
*doesn't really like talking about personal matters with people he hardly knows, but found her opinion too wrong for him to hold back*  
*grumbles a lot when Matteo pulls his head away again and looks at him angrily in a playful way*  
It was very bad that you removed your head!  
*but then grins and grabs his hand instead*  
*shrugs his shoulders to Kiki and says*  
It took me a bit of a run-up to get in, but I think I did quite well...

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly at his answer and reaches for his other hand too*  
*then nods slightly when he answers*  
You shouldn't take Kiki so seriously... she always takes herself too seriously.  
*tilts his head slightly and looks at him*  
You can tell her if she says something that is out of place.  
*grimaces and asks*  
Did she ask stupid questions?

David:  
*smiles happily as Matteo grabs his other hand as well and intertwines their fingers together and adjusts his position so that they don't have to twist as much*  
*shrugs his shoulders on the subject and continues to listen to him*  
*then nods and says*  
I did... well, not so directly, but I told her that she should maybe just rethink some statements. And...  
*ponders briefly before continuing*  
... of course, when it comes to unimportant things, then it is perhaps really better not to take her too seriously, but when it comes to important things, it makes more sense to do it and perhaps to make her rethink...  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
Although I don't know if that just really helped...  
*slightly tilts his head and thinks about Kiki's questions*  
Um... no.  
*shakes his head and grins a little*  
Her statements were rather stupid!

Matteo:  
*listens to him*  
*but already notices that the alcohol makes everything a little slower for him*  
*laughs loudly when he says that her statements were stupid*  
That sounds like Kiki.... and I am very proud of you for telling her your opinion... most people don't dare to do that in the first round....  
*bends over and gives him a clumsy kiss*  
*then it comes back to him that he said that her statements were stupid*  
Did she offend you? Should I go and hit her? Or would you prefer Carlos? I think I could take him.  
*grins slightly*

David:  
*grins when Matteo says he is proud of him and shrugs his shoulders*  
*thinks that there was simply no other way and that his opinion automatically came out of him because he didn't want her to have a stupid opinion of Matteo*  
*returns his kiss and tastes the beer and wants another one too*  
*looks for the crate when he hears Matteo's questions*  
*shakes his head immediately when he asks if Kiki has insulted him and laughs at his following questions*  
No violence, Mr. Florenzi!  
*then shakes his head again*  
No, she didn't offend /me/... everything's fine!  
*then releases their hands and says*  
I'm going to get another beer? You want one? Or do you want to take a break?  
*gets up*

Matteo:  
*only laughs when he says no violence and shrugs his shoulders*  
*but then slightly raises his eyebrows*  
Oh, yeah? So me, or what?  
*is now a little bit interested in what Kiki had to say*  
*is a bit perplexed when David suddenly gets up*  
Um... yeah, sure, why not?  
*then sees him run off to the crate, shrugs his shoulders and leans on his elbows so that he is at least halfway lying down, but can still watch*

David:  
*slightly shakes his head when Matteo asks*  
*does not really want to repeat what Kiki said and is therefore very happy that he can go to get beer now*  
*goes to the crate and takes out two beers*  
*already opens them at the crate, because there is an opener lying around and goes back to the blanket with them*  
*sits next to Matteo cross-legged, smiles and hands him a beer*  
*then looks briefly at the flunky ball people and grins slightly before asking*  
How long does the game actually last? Until someone falls over or until they run out of beer?

Matteo:  
*sits up again when David comes back*  
*takes the beer and clinks it against David's bottle before he takes a sip*  
*then laughs at his question*  
Both, I think....  
*then looks over and sees that everyone is still able to play*  
I'd say they're going to do three more rounds... though Carlos might only do one more...  
*then looks at David and smiles*  
*thinks how nice it is that he is here - that he was accepted by his friends as he is, that they not only accepted David immediately and without hesitation, but also supported him*  
*thinks that he is quite the lucky guy*  
*somehow feels incredibly good and carefree, probably also thanks to the alcohol*  
*just leans over and gives David a gentle kiss*  
*whispers a quiet "thanks" before leaning back*

David:  
*also takes a sip after toasting with Matteo*  
*laughs at Matteo's prediction and sees Carlos actually tumble at that moment*  
*laughs again and then watches the next round of flunkyball with a grin*  
*drinks a sip of beer every now and then and feels quite comfortable... with the great weather, the Abi in his pocket, out in the fresh air, surrounded by Matteo's friends and of course Matteo*  
*is quite lost in thought when Matteo suddenly leans over to him and kisses him*  
*smiles slightly into the kiss and then hears his "thanks"*  
*looks at him in wonder, but smiles and picks a little embarrassed at the label of his beer bottle*  
*asks quietly*  
What did I do?  
*thinks about it, but can't really think of a reason why Matteo should thank him - except maybe for the beer, but then the thanks would come a little late*

Matteo:  
*just smiles and shrugs with one shoulder*  
Just... for being there...  
*is a little embarrassed and quickly takes another sip and presses his lips slightly together*  
For me not being alone... and for putting up with Kiki's stupid statements and for being so great that all my friends think you're absolutely awesome and that....  
*grins slightly*  
That you're so good-looking that I can look at you all the time...  
*laughs slightly and looks away*  
Okay, maybe I drank too much beer.

David:  
*smiles at Matteo's words and turns slightly red*  
*does not find it particularly difficult to be there*  
*then hears that there is more to come and feels that his heart beats a little faster with all the beautiful words*  
*is quite touched, but also embarrassed and asks himself briefly what he has done to deserve all this, how he deserves Matteo and this feeling of happiness, which until recently he did not even know he could feel at all*  
*just looks at Matteo until he looks away and says that he has drunk too much beer*  
*grins slightly at this statement, but then quickly gets serious again*  
*puts his hand to Matteo's cheek and gently turns his head so that he looks at him again*  
*searches for words as he drowns in Matteo's eyes*  
*shakes his head at some point, smiling, and says quietly*  
You can't say all these great things and then blame it on the beer...  
*feels just so much love for Matteo and is looking for words that come close to his*  
*but still needs a bit more time*

Matteo:  
*relaxes immediately when he feels David's hand and looks at him*  
*smiles slightly*  
Sorry...  
*wraps one arm around David's neck and pulls him a little closer*  
*grins slightly*  
How was it again with making out in front of our friends, yes or no?

David:  
*hears Matteo's "sorry" and smiles slightly*  
*lets himself be pulled closer and also moves a little closer to him*  
*then grins at his question and tilts his head slightly*  
*pretends to think*  
Hmmm... generally rather yes... if you don't blame it on too much beer afterwards...  
*looks at him expectantly*  
*then grins slightly again and casesses Matteo a little in the neck*  
*says slightly provocative, but smiling*  
Maybe you also would have said those great things without too much beer? Can I delete the "too much beer" sentence from my mind?  
*leans his forehead against Matteo's and knows that he will kiss him anyway, no matter what answer he gets*

Matteo:  
*grins at his answer*  
*shakes its head immediately*  
I won't....  
*lets out a pleased sound when David caresses his neck*  
*nods again*  
Of course... I was just... embarrassed...  
*smiles slightly when he feels David's forehead and closes his eyes*  
*speaks softly*  
I always have a lot of great thoughts in my head.... how well you can kiss for example...  
*then close the last centimeters between their lips and kisses him*

David:  
*nods satisfied at Matteo's answer and then smiles slightly when he says he was just embarrassed*  
*whispers*  
You don't need to...  
*also closes his eyes when he feels that Matteo is relaxing and slowly comes closer and closer*  
*rubs his nose against his when he hears his next words and mumbles shortly before their kiss*  
We should share our great thoughts much more often.... I also have a few...  
*but then feels Matteo's lips on his and sighs softly into the kiss*  
*caresses his neck and his hair and makes sure that Matteo can't move a centimeter back  
*then wraps his other arm around him and wants to pull him closer, but realizes that this is not really possible while sitting*  
*places his hand on Matteo's cheek instead and gently brushes over it as he deepens the kiss*

Matteo:  
*can mumble "do it" before he kisses him*  
*forgets a bit where they are and who is there*  
*buries his hand in David's hair as he deepens the kiss*  
*actually manages to make out with him for a while until he gets a package of cookies thrown at his head and Carlos yells "Get a room!"*  
*immediately hears Jonas saying "Let them have some fun"*  
*grumbles slightly and mumbles to David*  
We could ignore this....

David:  
*enjoys the proximity to Matteo and somehow perceives the others as just a background noise, which at some point he can block out completely*  
*then grumbles in protest, as Matteo slightly pulls away from the kiss, sees a package of cookies out of the corner of his eyes that was probably thrown at Matteo, hears Carlos and Jonas and finally Matteo and then grins slightly*  
*gives Matteo a short kiss on the mouth and mumbles softly*  
How long do you think we can keep this up? Ignoring that...  
*kiss him again briefly*  
*hears Abdi: " Yeah, great, now my cookies are lying there with them and if I want them back, I have to interrupt the kissing..."*

Matteo:  
*grins*  
Let's find out...  
*gives him another kiss*  
*hears Abdi and grins again*  
*whispers*  
Now it gets interesting....  
*hears someone who he can't identify right now say: "Let them be, so newly in love"*  
*laughs slightly and gives David another kiss*  
*but then looks where the package of cookies is, takes it and throws it towards Abdi*  
*sees him grinning: "Thanks, Brudi!"*

David:  
*has to grin as well, when Matteo thinks they should find out and kisses him again*  
*but has to admit that the mood is somehow gone with all the murmuring around them and sighs softly as Matteo pulls away a little after the next kiss to give Abdi his cookies*  
*leans back a bit and looks around the group with slightly reddened cheeks *  
*notices that Carlos actually seems to be quite drunk and tries to discuss something with Kiki, that Abdi happily eats his cookies and tries to offer some to Sam, that Hanna is halfway in Jonas' lap and smiling at him, that Mia and Alex are talking in the distance and Amira lets her eyes wander over the group as well*  
*smiles briefly as their eyes meet and then looks quite happily at Matteo again*  
*shrugs his shoulders and says*  
We have at least tried... the ignoring...  
*grins minimally and then turns away from Matteo, only to make himself comfortable with his head on his lap immediately afterwards*  
*reaches for his beer and takes a rather big sip, because he is quite thirsty*

Matteo:  
*grabs his beer again and takes a sip*  
*smiles as David lies down with his head on his lap*  
*immediately starts to play with his hair with his free hand*  
*just looks calmly around the area*  
*then sees Hanna and Jonas get up and Hanna sitting down with Amira and Jonas coming over to them*  
*hears Jonas saying: "Na, sweethearts, everything good with you?"*  
*grins when he sits down on the blanket next to them, and nods*  
Yes, everything is quite good and with you?

David:  
*smiles when Matteo starts to play with his hair and slightly leans into his hand*  
*lies otherwise quite relaxed*  
*briefly thinks about sitting up when Jonas joins them, but then remains lying down and just moves his legs a little to the side so that Jonas can sit more comfortably*  
*nods approvingly at Matteo's words and takes another sip*  
*hears Jonas: "Flunkyball was one round too many... I'm still recovering a bit.*  
*grins and says*  
It was perhaps also still a little bit early to chug so many beers in one go...  
*hears Jonas laughing desperately: " And you tell me that now! Why didn't you say that at the beginning of the game!"*  
*grins again and shrugs his shoulders*  
Sorry... next time then...  
*takes another sip*

Matteo:  
*laughs during the conversation*  
Flunkyball is almost always deadly... Beer is not made to chug it down that quickly... you need a strong stomach...  
*takes another sip of beer and shrugs*  
But it's also fun... and you have quite the tolerance, dude...  
*Jonas hears laughing: "Well, that's right... and Hanna's place is not so far from here either..."*  
*grins then*  
Ah yes... right... tell me... how did you actually convince her? Because of the super planned-out date?

David:  
*grins when Jonas says that Hanna's place is not that far away and is glad that he is not too drunk, because they have to cycle home*  
*looks up at Matteo and at first can’t see anything because due to the movement, Matteo has pushed some of the hair he had been playing with over his eyes*  
*but realizes it quickly and tenderly brushes them off his face*  
*smiles when he finally sees him and doesn't think that Matteo is so drunk that he couldn't make it on his bike*  
*then looks back at Jonas and drinks a little more beer while he reports: "Oh, it wasn't that well planned. Hanna just made it pretty easy for me. We went for a meal and then just went for a walk... where we used to go to in the past... at some point I dared to take her hand and somehow it was clear”*  
*sees him shrugging his shoulders and looking over to Hanna with love and has to smile*  
*then says again quietly*  
It's nice if it was that simple...  
*reaches with his free hand into his hair and grabs Matteo's hand*  
*intertwines their fingers and places them on his chest*

Matteo:  
*smilingly pushes David's hair out of his face again as he suddenly moves*  
*then listens to Jonas*  
That sounds good... I'm really happy for you, man.  
*really hopes that the two of them will make it now*  
*smiles down to David as he takes his hand*  
*briefly misses to play with his hair but then simply paints some figures with his thumb on the back of David's hand*  
*sees Jonas smiling at him and nods back*  
*is also pleased that they are both so happy*  
*hears Jonas say: "Now it's really going to start, Luigi, no more school... but we'll cancel the Cuba thing, right?"  
*laughs slightly and nods*  
Yeah... we'll think of something else...

David:  
*closes his eyes briefly and relaxed, when the two of them remain silent for a while and has to smile, when Jonas says that it's really starting now*  
*this does not only refer to "no more school", but also to Matteo and himself, that now, when the biggest problems are solved, they finally have some time for themselves*  
*has already enjoyed the last few days and is looking forward to the rest of the summer and what lies ahead*  
*then hears something about Cuba and asks with closed eyes*  
Cuba?  
*hears Jonas explain: "Yes, Luigi and I actually wanted to go to Cuba after graduating..."*  
*hears him laughing and continuing to speak: "But on the one hand neither of us are apparently the greatest planners... and on the other hand...“*  
*opens his eyes as Jonas remains silent for a moment and sees that he looks over to Hanna again with love, before he continues speaking: "On the other hand, things sometimes turn out differently than you think.*  
*nods slowly and thinks to himself that Jonas surely doesn't want to part from Hanna again for the time being to go on vacation with Matteo and is actually quite happy that the two of them want to cancel it, because he would also think it's pretty stupid to have to part from Matteo again now - even if only for a short time.*  
*nevertheless asks interested*  
And why Cuba?

Matteo:  
*grins slightly when Jonas says that things sometimes turn out differently*  
Yep... Girls with red hair....  
*hears as Jonas adds: "Boys with beanies...."  
*grins and nods*  
Exactly...  
*then laughs slightly at David's question*  
I don't know, actually... that was somehow always the plan... I think since Jonas' Che Guevara phase in the 8th grade...

David:  
*smiles when Jonas and Matteo mention Hanna and him and lightly squeezes Matteo's hand*  
*then mumbles grinning and embarrassed*  
Well, then Hanna and I must feel honored that you are throwing your plans overboard because of us...  
*hears Jonas laughing: "Exactly! And it also has nothing to do with our laziness to organize things....".*  
*shakes his head again with a grin*  
Of course not...  
*drinks another sip of beer and then listens to Matteo's explanation about Cuba*  
*laughs softly and looks at Jonas*  
Che Guevara? That suits you...  
*then looks up to Matteo, wiggles his eyebrows slightly and asks*  
And what phase did you have in eighth grade?

Matteo:  
*presses his lips together at David's question, because in the 8th grade he has just started to have a crush on Jonas*  
*but thinks that he also just wanted to get away*  
*shrugs with one shoulder*  
The well-known phase... just get away....  
*swallows slightly and drinks another sip of beer*  
... pretty much anywhere, but Cuba sounded pretty cool...  
*feels Jonas nudge him slightly: "We'll manage some kind of vacation this summer!”*  
*laughs and nods*  
Of course!

David:  
*nods when Matteo says he just wanted to get away, smiles and briefly squeezes his hand*  
*then turns his head away from him again to prevent a stiff neck*  
*laughs softly during the exchange between Jonas and Matteo*  
Oh yes... and who organizes it? Since you both are so good at organizing?  
*at that moment hears Carlos and Abdi loudly slurring something and grins*  
Ah yeeees... Carlos and Abdi of course...  
*laughs again quietly and then moves back into a sitting position so that he can keep an eye on Jonas and Matteo and not have to turn his head back and forth all the time*  
*pulls his legs close and wraps his arms around them and has to let go off Matteo's hand*  
*but nudges him slightly with his foot as compensation*

Matteo:  
*squeezes his hand back*  
*puts his beer away so that he has one hand free to play with David's hair again*  
*then grins at him very widely when he asks who is organizing the trip*  
*hears Jonas saying: "Well, Brudi number 5 of course!"*  
*laughs slightly*  
*complains with a quiet "ey" when he sits up and he can't play with his hair anymore*  
*slightly tilts his head when he nudges his foot and nudges back*  
*grabs his beer again and holds it out for a toast towards David with raised eyebrows*  
*then hears Jonas laughing*  
What?  
*sees Jonas shaking his head: " You guys are already really good at this.... this couple communication without talking..."*

David:  
*laughs and looks at Jonas with mock horror at his words*  
Moi?!?  
*shakes his head and laughs again*  
Nah, sorry! Not this year yet... I am too new in your Brudi group and don't know you enough. Otherwise I organize something and there are a lot of complaints and you kick me out again...   
*sees Jonas grinning at first, but then shaking his head a little more seriously: "You won't get rid of us so easily now!"*  
*looks apologetically to Matteo at his "ey", but smiles when he nudges him back with his foot*  
*clinks his beer against his and sticks out his tongue with a slight grin on his face*  
*looks at Jonas as he laughs, hears his explanation and grins in Matteo's direction*  
*shrugs, smiles, stretches his legs out again and points invitingly with his head to his lap*  
*is a little curious if Matteo gets that he can lie down now if he wants to and if Jonas is right that they have the couple communication down after not even four weeks*  
*On the other hand wouldn't mind if it weren't like that, because he really enjoys that Matteo and he take so much time to talk*

Matteo:  
*grins when David says he will be kicked out again*  
*just wanted to say something against it, when Jonas already does and just nods*  
*also grins at Jonas comment and looks at David*  
*sees how he stretches his legs out and already puts his beer down before David nods his head*  
*lies down and puts his head on David's lap*  
*closes his eyes and relaxes*  
*then says very relaxed*  
You can talk... I'm out...

David:  
*laughs softly when Matteo reacts immediately and hears Jonas laughing too: "Dude.... you’re the worst!”*  
*immediately shakes his head in protest and glares at Jonas angrily*  
We are not!  
*immediately buries his hands in Matteo's hair, when he lies down and strokes it off his forehead before he begins to tenderly run his hands through it*  
*grins when Matteo says he is out and looks at Jonas expectantly *  
We can talk... let's go...  
*sees Jonas grinning: "Yes, well... David, tell me: What's sex like with Matteo?*  
*laughs softly and shakes his head*  
No comment!  
*takes another sip of beer*

Matteo:  
*relaxes immediately and even more when David plays with his hair*  
*therefore only casts a skeptical glance at Jonas' question*  
*hears Jonas laughing and says: "no comment is never a good sign. I am really sorry, Luigi!"*  
*mumbles something incomprehensible and shrugs his shoulder*  
You should ask yourself why you are so interested in this, my friend...

David:  
*shakes his head in protest at Jonas' suspicion and shrugs his shoulders with a grin.*  
No comment means no comment! Maybe I just don't want to make you jealous...  
*turns slightly red, but continues to grin and now moves his hand over the hairline behind Matteo's ear and onto his neck*  
*then laughs softly at Matteo's comment and says to Matteo*  
Maybe he needs some tips from us...  
*Jonas hears laughter: "Dude, that's enough! I'm leaving..."*  
*sees how he actually gets up and is about to say that he should stay after all, when he sees that Hanna is now back on Jonas' and her blanket and looks over at them*  
*grins again slightly*  
Oh, and of course your departure has nothing to do with the fact that your girlfriend has finished her conversation and is waiting for you?!

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly at David's answer and nods*  
That's right...  
*then nods very slowly and solemnly*  
Oh yes... of course that could be it....  
*laughs louder when Jonas gets up and leaves*  
*makes a loud "Ha" sound when David sees through Jonas and only laughs when Jonas laughingly leaves them*  
*then looks up to David and grins*  
If Carlos and Abdi ever ask you if you are a cathetus or a hypotenuse, run

David:  
*looks at Jonas with a grin and then looks down at Matteo, who is also looking at him right now*  
*raises both eyebrows questioningly at his words*  
Do I want to know what this is all about or should I just take your advice and run?!  
*laughs softly and brushes Matteo's hair halfway behind his ears*  
*then sighs softly, because he realizes again what a nice evening it was/is having graduated, being with Matteo and his friends and being here at the lake - and smiles at Matteo*  
*has to think again about Jonas' couple communication thing and wonders if Matteo can read in his eyes how happy he is right now*  
*then feels a bit cheesy and turns his eyes away from Matteo and drinks another sip of beer*

Matteo:  
*shakes his head with a grin and then nods to the second part of his question*  
I could explain it to you... but believe me, running away is the better option.....  
*smiles back at David when he smiles*  
*turns his head slightly and kisses his stomach*  
*then has to giggle because it's kind of silly*  
*looks up again and sees that David is drinking*  
*closes his eyes again and simply enjoys*

David:  
*feels Matteo kissing his stomach while he is drinking and smiles into the bottleneck*  
*then looks at Matteo after he has finished drinking and sees that he is relaxed and lying in his lap with his eyes closed*  
*smiles and starts brushing through his hair again*  
*looks at him for quite a while and then lets his eyes wander over the others and over the lake, only to always return to Matteo again*  
*sees Mia and Alex standing next to them and hears Mia quietly pointing at Matteo and asking: "Is he asleep?"*  
*shrugs his shoulders and smiles before he answers quietly*  
I don't think so...  
*then hears Mia again: "We wanted to leave now - Alex is here with the car. Do you want a ride?"*  
*is about to say no, because they are here with the bikes and Matteo didn't seem so drunk that he couldn't ride his bike anymore when he hears Kiki calling from a few meters away: "Hey, Mia, can you give us a ride after all? I don't know how else to get Carlos home - he is so drunk!"*  
*grins slightly and looks at Mia, who is looking between them and Kiki and Carlos a bit helpless*  
We are here by bike anyway. You can take these two with you...   
*sees Mia looking at them for a moment, as if she wanted to check if Carlos or Matteo were more drunk, but finally nods and turns away with a "Drive safely!"*

Matteo:  
*hears Mia, but thinks that David will take care of it*  
*has absolutely no desire to open his eyes*  
*hears what it is all about and thinks that they can still ride their bikes*  
*decides to only say something if David sees it differently*  
*smiles slightly, when this is not the case*  
*waits until he hears Alex, Mia, Carlos and Kiki leaving*  
*then slowly opens his eyes and looks up to David*  
We'll stay a little longer, right?  
*smiles slightly*  
I am not drunk enough yet.

David:  
*watches the four of them leave the lake and disappear into the darkness and then looks down to Matteo again*  
*notices that he has opened his eyes and smiles*  
*nods at his question*  
I don't mind...  
*is not really tired yet*  
*then grins at his next statement and lightly pokes him in the cheek*  
Does this mean that we can only go home when we are drunk enough?  
*laughs softly*  
Then maybe I shouldn't have left the ride so carelessly to others after all...

Matteo:  
*grins when he is being poked*  
*then shakes his head*  
Only me... you don't have to get drunk...  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
I can ride a bike perfectly, no matter how drunk...  
*straightens up a bit and looks where Jonas is*  
*then calls*  
Ey Jonas, how well can I ride my bike drunk?  
*hears Jonas laughing and shouting: "Not worse than sober! Shall we have a drink, Luigi?"*  
*calls back*  
Or two... come over!  
*then sees Jonas grab a bottle and come to their blanket together with Hanna*  
*gets up and slides next to David to make room for the two*

David:  
*tilts his head slightly and looks at Matteo grinningly and slightly provocative*  
But maybe I want to get drunk... you only graduate once after all...  
*then laughs softly when Jonas confirms that Matteo can ride his bike drunk*  
*sighs softly as Matteo straightens up and he has to take his hand out of his hair, but also moves a little to the side to make room for Jonas and Hanna*  
*sees how Hanna and Jonas sit down and looks a little skeptical at the bottle in Jonas' hands*  
What is it?  
*sees Jonas grinning and holding the bottle out to him: "No cheap booze... just taste it!"*  
*accepts the bottle and takes a sip*  
*grimaces slightly because he first has to get used to drinking something other than beer again, but then he drinks another sip and finds that it doesn't taste toooo bad*  
*passes the bottle to Matteo and then sees Jonas' expectant look: "And?!"*  
*grins and shrugs his shoulders*  
It takes some getting used to, I'd say...  
*feels how he now gets very warm in his stomach and hears Jonas again: "But not bad, right?"*  
*laughs softly and says*  
Not /yet/...

Matteo:  
*slightly tilts his head and looks at David*  
Alright... I won't say anything....  
*watches David taking a sip*  
*looks at Jonas scrutinizingly*  
What is it?  
*but only sees Jonas grinning*  
*then takes the bottle from David and takes a sip*  
Whoa, dude, did you mix that yourself?  
*shakes his head slightly but takes another sip before he passes the bottle on to Hanna*  
*sees how Hanna takes a big sip and gives the bottle back to Jonas*  
*Jonas drinks and then says: "And now a drinking game... everyone takes a sip for their Abi grade, for example 3 sips for 1.2, but 6 for 3.3..."*  
*laughs*  
Do you want to get me drunk?  
*Jonas grins: "Maybe" and hands the bottle back to David*

David:  
*looks at Jonas expectantly as he wants to play a drinking game*  
*then laughs at Matteo's comment and is given the bottle*  
*grins and looks questioningly into the round*  
So all sips at once?!  
*hears Jonas and Hanna laughing: "Yeah, sure - where else would the fun be?!*  
*laughs softly and says*  
And then you guess, or what? And then I'm too drunk afterwards to count and guess with you...   
*laughs again and lifts the bottle*  
Okay, well...  
*drinks the first two sips and finds out that it still goes quite well, the third one is a bit harder for him, because he feels exactly how the alcohol runs down his throat*  
*still manages all five sips, passes the bottle to Matteo and shakes himself*  
*notices now how the warm tingling also reaches his legs and thinks that he should probably stop now*  
*hears Jonas guessing, "1.4?"*  
*raises his eyebrows and shakes his head*  
You seriously think I am that good!?  
*realizes that he is slurring a bit*

Matteo:  
*watches David drink with some concern*  
*but promised not to say anything and therefore keeps his mouth shut*  
*then takes the bottle, but lets the others guess*  
*hears Hanna laughing: "Well, then 2.3"*  
*sees how David nods*  
*then takes two large sips and three small*  
*Jonas hears: " Also 5? Also 2.3?"*  
*shakes his head*  
Nah, was too lazy....  
*hands the bottle to Hanna and leans his head against David's shoulder, while Hanna guesses: "Well then 3.2...".  
*sees how Hanna starts drinking and stops counting after 4*  
*says a little sluggish*  
Shit, I wasn't paying attention....

David:  
*does not count when Matteo, because he knows what he has anyway and lets the others guess*  
*but then tries to concentrate on Hanna and is almost thrown off when Matteo butts in between*  
*puts his hand on his knee and squeezes it lightly to make him shut upand finally says*  
Eight?  
*sees Hanna nodding and just starts to guess*  
Okay... so 1.7, 2.6 or 3.5...  
*Jonas hears laughing: "There speaks the advanced math..."*  
*ignores him and thinks*  
*has not the slightest idea how good Hanna is in school and therefore simply guesses*  
2,6?  
*sees Hanna nodding and then hears that she also slurs her words when she says: "That was mean... but better than 2.8 or something...

Matteo:  
*looks at Hanna with admiration*  
You have got 2.6? That's great... congratulations....  
*looks like he has to think hard to decide if congratulations were the right thing to say, but then decides that they were and nods*  
*then sees Jonas drinking twice and booes*  
No wonder you came up with this game... 2.0, really?  
*hears Jonas laughing: "We can play another drinking game.... one where you can get me drunk"*  
Yeeees... which one?  
*has absolutely no idea*

David:  
*gapes at him when Jonas drinks only twice*  
Wow! Congratulations!  
*sees Jonas bowing clumsily and laughs - doesn't know why - probably because of the alcohol*  
*then hears the idea of doing another drinking game and groans*  
*slurs slightly*  
Oh no, I'm taking a break... I'm really not used to anything...  
*closes his eyes for a moment and realizes that everything is spinning slightly*  
*quickly opens them again*  
*then hears Hanna giggling: "I'm up for “Never have I ever..." I know a few things how we can get Jonas to drink... I've never stolen a bike!"*  
*sees Jonas looking at Hanna with amusement and grabbing the bottle: "Ha ha ..."*  
*laughs again and looks at Jonas questioningly*  
Did you really?!  
"hears Jonas, who also slurs a bit: "I was drunk and lazy and it was just standing in the front yard... but I didn't keep it, I left it for the next one..."*

Matteo:  
*puts his arm around David when he sees that he is already feeling the booze*  
*grins at Hanna's suggestion*  
Good idea!  
*laughs at Jonas explanation*  
How generous...  
*sees Jonas grinning: "Careful, my friend, now it's my turn.... Never have I ever... cheated on an Abi exam"*  
*groans slightly and takes the bottle from Jonas and takes a sip*  
*sees Hanna making big eyes: " Did you really? Wow.... brave and stupid."  
*laughs*  
Yes, Spanish.... did not help much... I met him here...  
*pats David's cheek somewhat awkwardly*  
...in the hallway and then I couldn't remember anything from the cheat sheet anyway.  
*hears Hanna awwing and Jonas laughing: "Good excuse... it's your turn..."  
I can’t think of anything... I'll give my turn to David...

David:  
*lets himself fall against Matteo when he puts his arm around him, but then realizes that he is actually sitting too far away for it to be comfortable, and awkwardly moves closer*  
*frowns as Matteo drinks at the next round, straightens up again and looks at him in horror*  
Fuck, did you really!?  
*then hears his next words and looks at him in a mock angry way with narrowed eyes*  
Are you trying to make me feel guilty!?  
*can remember that day... shortly after their almost-kiss*  
*then has to laugh at Hanna's "awww", sighs and leans against Matteo again*  
*then hears that it is his turn and thinks*  
*finally says*  
Never have I ever...  
*grins slightly*  
Never have I ever swum in this lake before... 

Matteo:  
*grins at David somewhat mischievously*  
What? No, never! It's not your fault that I let myself be distracted by you....  
*gives him a slightly awkward kiss on the head, because that's the easiest to get at*  
*shakes his head when he hears his sentence*  
*hear Jonas and Hanna laughing*  
He wants to get us all drunk....  
*takes a sip and then passes the bottle on*  
*Jonas grins after drinking and says: "I can do that too ... I have never kissed a boy.*  
*shakes his head wildly and then announces indignantly*  
That is homophobic!  
*sees how Hanna laughs and shakes her head: "I have to drink too."*  
*then looks a little sheepish*  
Oh, okay...  
*sighs a little and reaches for the bottle*

David:  
*grins contentedly as everyone drinks, but then hears Jonas' words and groans.*  
*sees how Matteo passes the bottle to Hanna, she drinks and then passes it to him*  
*straightens up a little and takes a tiny sip*  
*then hears Hanna: "May I? I still have something ..."*  
*laughs and nods*  
*sees how Hanna is about to start talking but then hears Abdi's voice and is a bit confused before he notices that Abdi, Sam and Amira have appeared next to them: "Duuude... you're drinking here without me!"*  
*then hears Amira: "Which is good, because you've had enough, my friend!"*  
*hears Sam giggling and Abdi just makes a horrified "But..." before he is interrupted by Amira: "We're leaving now. Are you coming with or are you staying?"*  
*feels just too slow to answer and too slow to decide, so he leans against Matteo and wraps his arms around his stomach*  
*tries to close the eyes again, but opens them again immediately because everything is spinning*  
*hears Jonas and Hanna discussing remotely whether they will leave or not and waits for Matteo to make a decision for both of them*

Matteo:  
*is a bit confused and quite overwhelmed*  
*had just concentrated on Hanna who then, however, did not talk*  
*only lazily lifts his hand in goodbye as Amira, Sam and Abdi say goodbye*  
*looks from David to Hanna and Jonas and back again to David*  
*slurs slightly*  
Wanna hear what Hanna had.... or d’you wanna go home?

David:  
*hears Matteo's question and just shakes his head*  
*prefers not to move at all*  
*hears Jonas: "Okay, Hanna will do hers and then we'll go as well... we're on foot and it takes us forever to get home..."*  
*is about to remark that he and Matteo are by bike, but then thinks that Jonas might have meant everyone else*  
*Amira hears sighing: "Yes, okay, Hanna, hurry up... we really want to go..."*  
*hears Hanna giggling and then saying: "I've never broken a guitar before!"*   
*sees how Jonas rolls his eyes and grabs the bottle and drinks*  
*hears Hanna laughing and grinning, but doesn't ask for details*  
*hears Amira: "Yes, very funny! Can we go now?!"*  
*somehow still doesn't know if he and Matteo will go with them, but just stays in his arms and waits to see if he moves or not*

Matteo:  
*rolls his eyes slightly at Hanna's sentence*  
*mumbles*  
Wasn't worth it....  
*then waves widely and says a little too loud*  
Byeeee, walk carefully!  
*then bumps his head against David and mumbles*  
I do not want to move yet....   
*wraps both arms around David and moves even closer to him*  
Let's stay a little longer, okay?

David:  
*hears how Matteo says goodbye to the others and lifts his hand sluggishly to say goodbye*  
*smiles, when Matteo says that he does not want to move yet and nods*  
*then feels Matteo even closer to him and nods again at his question*  
*then straightens up a bit to check if the others are gone and can't see them in the dark anymore*  
*leans his head back against Matteo's shoulder and lets himself fall backwards into a lying position*  
*finds it much more comfortable than sitting*  
*mumbles into Matteo's shoulder*  
I'm drunk...  
*takes a deep breath and adds*  
... and you smell good!

Matteo:  
*lets out a pleasant sigh when they lie down*  
*leaves one arm around David's shoulders and puts the other over his hip*  
*laughs softly at David's words*  
I'm drunk too... never seen you drunk before... are you any different?  
*grins a little*  
Ah, compliments... that's nice... you smell good too by the way...  
*kisses his head and buries his nose in David's hair*

David:  
*notes that Matteo is also drunk and thinks that he is probably too lazy to get up as well*  
*shakes his head slightly when he asks if he is any different when drunk and mumbles*  
I'm always me... and you get compliments even when I'm not drunk...  
*smiles when Matteo says that he smells good too and kisses his chest*  
*sighs quietly and thinks to himself that he can easily add a few compliments on top of it, while he is already at it*  
*straightens up a little and turns so that he lies half on Matteo's chest and can look at him*  
*brushes a strand of hair from his face, smiles and then says*  
I like your hair...   
*looks him in the eyes, feels slight palpitations of the heart and quietly adds*  
... and I love your eyes!  
*feels somehow less drunk just now, when all other senses have disappeared, when he only focuses on Matteo*

Matteo:  
*smiles slightly and nods*  
True....  
*grumbles a bit as David turns around*  
*but then smiles, because he can see him better now*  
*rolls his eyes slightly as he compliments his hair*  
*is then embarrassed and probably a little red at his second compliment*  
*mumbles quietly*  
Stop....  
*lifts his hand and brushes over David's cheek*  
... you are making me feel embarrassed...  
*looks at him and once again can't believe that David is really here with him, together with him and with everything that goes with it*  
I, uh...  
*clears his throat a little*  
I think you're the best... the best thing that ever happened to me...

David:  
*grins slightly when Matteo tells him to stop and just wants to continue when he feels Matteo's hand on his cheek and is slightly distracted by it*  
*looks at him, then hears his words and at first just grins, but then he feels his heart beating faster during Matteo's next sentence, stops grinning and can't believe that Matteo feels this way*  
*has to swallow because he is quite touched and they are so damn lucky to have found each other and that they feel the same*  
*bends down slowly and kisses him briefly and gently*  
*then says quietly*  
/You/ are the best thing that has ever happened to /me/...  
*really means that and does not want to imagine how his life would look like without Matteo*  
*kisses him again and then mumbles*  
... you have to stay with me forever...  
*thinks that it sounds pretty cheesy and pathetic and is sure that he would never have said it if he were sober, because he doesn't really want to seem pathetic and dependent and weak, but basically it's exactly what he wants: to have Matteo in his life forever*

Matteo:  
*closes his eyes briefly when he is kissed*  
*then looks at him and hears what he says*  
*can feel his heart beating and swallows slightly*  
*is somehow not used to feeling so loved and wanted and safe*  
*is kissed again and actually wants to deepen the kiss*  
*but then hears his murmuring and feels how everything in him becomes soft like butter*  
*hopes that he has no tears in his eyes*  
*but then it doesn't matter and he pulls back slightly to be able to look at David*  
*swallows slightly and then says*  
As long as you want me...  
*then kisses him again and wraps his arm tighter around him*

David:   
*finds it difficult to look back at Matteo after the words are out, but manages to do so and quietly breathes out the air he only now realizes he had been holding when he hears his answer*  
*feels relieved and loved, wanted and like he belongs*  
*is kissed before he can respond and presses himself closer to Matteo when he feels his arm around him*  
*murmurs his answer to Matteo into the kiss*  
I want you forever...  
*then closes his eyes and continues kissing him*  
*notices that due to the alcohol and the proximity to Matteo everything still seems to spin around, he gets a little dizzy and that closing his eyes is not really a good idea*  
*opens them slightly and finally interrupts the kiss*  
*runs his hand through Matteo's hair and finally lets his head sink back onto Matteo's chest*  
*mumbles a little whiningly*  
I'm still drunk.  
*hopes a little bit that he will feel a little better later when he moves on the way home*

Matteo:  
*hears his words and is quite happy that they keep kissing and that he can concentrate on that and not on the stupid thought that David will find something sooner or later that he doesn't like about him or that makes him difficult or too much effort*  
*breathes in deeply as David releases the kiss*  
*looks at him and smiles slightly*  
*runs his hand over David's back*  
*then laughs slightly*  
Me too... want to go to bed? Shall we make our way home?

David:  
*grins slightly when Matteo says that he is drunk too*  
*mumbles*  
Bed sounds tempting... beaming would be nice now...  
*sighs softly and then sits up*  
Yes... let’s go home... but maybe we should push our bikes for a little first?  
*laughs quietly and looks at Matteo, who has also sat up*  
*gently runs his hand over his cheek once and looks him in the eyes before he gets up*  
*stumbles slightly and takes a deep breath until he has the feeling that he is standing reasonably safe*  
*takes a deep breath and realizes that he has been wearing the binder for too long again and grimaces slightly*  
*then bends down to the blanket and pulls at one end*  
Come on! Get up! Bed!

Matteo:  
*nods his head slightly*  
*sits up with David*  
Pushing for a while sounds good...  
*smiles when D runs a hand over his cheek and was about to lean forward to kiss him again when David gets up*  
*grumbles slightly*  
*but then looks at him a little worried*  
All good?   
*then gets up as David urges*  
Yes yes, I'm already coming.....  
*sees David folding the blanket and picks up his bike so he can put it into the basket*  
*holds on to the handles and is quite happy that they did not come on foot*  
*then starts walking with David, David's bike is on his left, Matteo's bike on his right, so they can walk side by side*  
*then announces*  
I'm hungry.

David:  
*shrugs his shoulders when Matteo asks if everything is okay and folds the blanket before he answers*  
I want to get rid of the binder...   
*laughs softly and a little desperate*  
Drunk and wearing a binder is not as cool as I just realized...  
*puts the blanket in Matteo's basket and then takes his bike and starts walking with Matteo*  
*is also glad that he has the handles to hold on to, but also that they move a little, because even if he feels the binder even more, he still has the feeling that the buzz is slightly reduced by the movement*  
*laughs softly when Matteo says he is hungry*  
No! You?! You're never hungry!  
*looks at him lovingly from the side and says*  
If I could cook better, I'd cook you something later... but I can offer to make you a sandwich when we get home...

Matteo:  
*hears that the binder is bothering and grimaces*  
We can ride our bikes, then we are home faster...  
*then shakes his head*  
Nah, that's just even more exhausting...  
*looks around a bit*  
We have jackets with us, loose jackets, you can take it off and my jacket over it?  
*sees David only smiling and shaking his head*  
*takes a deep breath*  
*then laughs slightly and shrugs*  
Yeah, okay... but even more hungry than usually....  
*smiles at his proposal*  
If I can still do it, I'll put some pasta in the water... I'm up for something hot.... but otherwise a sandwich sounds good....

David:  
*smiles at Matteo's suggestions and thinks it's really sweet that he thinks like that, but he would still feel uncomfortable if they were to leave the small forest area and see people on the streets of Berlin*  
*then laughs quietly when he says that he wants to make pasta and says*  
Well, throwing pasta into hot water is something I can do as well... we motivate each other and I make the pasta and you make some quick sauce?  
*leaves the small forest area with him and stops*  
*looks a little bit indecisively to the bike and then to Matteo*  
*grins slightly*  
We could try to ride our bikes... slowly...  
*manages, without staggering, to swing his leg over the saddle*  
*then looks at Matteo questioningly*  
Are we sleeping at your place or mine?  
*smiles slightly again, because for him it is somehow still something special that they don't spend the nights apart*

Matteo:  
*laughs and then nods*  
Yeah, you pasta, me sauce... sounds good.  
*stops when David stops*  
*looks at him just as indecisively*  
*then grins*  
We can try....  
*is also getting ready to ride off*  
*then shrugs his shoulders at his question*  
Your place? It's a little closer, isn't it?

David:  
*nods when Matteo suggests that they are going to his place, gets on his bike and slowly starts pedaling*  
*actually staggers a lot in the beginning, but soon finds the right speed for his drunken state and realizes that the longer they ride, the better it gets*  
*is nevertheless glad that there is not too much traffic in the area at this time of day and looks at Matteo a few times to check if cycling works for him*  
*then finally stops in front of his house, gets off his bike, staggers only minimally and locks his bike at the construction-site fence*  
*grins to Matteo*  
Sooo... I'm sober again...  
*laughs softly and shakes his head*  
Well... more sober...   
*looks for his keys and, when he finds them, wraps an arm around Matteo's hip and pulls him towards him*  
*kisses him on the cheek and on the temple and on the corner of the mouth and mumbles*  
... and I am in withdrawal....

Matteo:  
*actually has less problems than David on the bike*  
*observes him somewhat worried*  
*is therefore happy when once made it to David's apartment safely*  
*locks his bike next to David's*  
*laughs when David says he is sober and shakes his head*  
*grins as he is pulled closer and wraps his arm around David's shoulders*  
*smiles as he is kissed and even more at David's words*  
*wraps his second arm around him and automatically steps in front of him*  
*looks at him somewhat amused*  
Oh, yeah? Withdrawal? Contact withdrawal?

David:  
*smiles at first as Matteo wraps his arms around him, but then frowns when as he looks amused*  
*but nods seriously at his questions and confirms*  
Physical contact withdrawal!  
*then laughs softly and feels his binder constricting his airflow again while taking a breath*  
That was almost half an hour!  
*takes a step backwards towards the front door together with Matteo and tries to feel for the keyhole with the key*

Matteo:  
*laughs and gives him a short kiss*  
*laughs even more as David tries to unlock the door without looking*  
This is even difficult when sober....  
*takes one arm off Matteo and keeps only one around his shoulders*  
*turns them around so that David can unlock the door easily*  
*kisses his cheek when he got the door open and goes up the stairs with him*  
*but then pulls him close again*  
*then hears how hard he breathes and doesn't kiss him*  
*smiles slightly instead and lets go of him*  
Hurry up and unlock the door so that you can get rid of the thing....

David:  
*laughs softly as Matteo turns them around so that he can get to the keyhole better and just lets everything happen to him*  
*somehow makes it up the stairs, but somehow finds it quite exhausting at the moment and doesn't know whether it is because of the binder or the alcohol*  
*is embraced by Matteo at the top of the stairs and smiles*  
*wants to kiss him when Matteo lets go of him*  
*grumbles, but then hears why Matteo has let go of him and nods*  
*unlocks the door and lets Matteo go in first*  
*closes the door behind them and points towards the kitchen and says quietly*  
See what you can find...   
*then grins slightly and adds*  
But shhhhh! My sister!  
*hears Laura's voice amusedly calling from her room: "I already heard you in the hallway - don't be quiet on my account!"*  
*laughs quietly again and opens the bathroom door*  
*presses a quick kiss on Matteo’s mouth and mumbles*  
I’ll be right back...

Matteo:  
*nods as David points to the kitchen*  
*then laughs at his addition*  
*whispers*  
Oh... not this sentence... suddenly I get hungry for completely different things....  
*laughs when he hears Laura*  
*quickly kisses David back and then goes to knock on Laura's door*  
*speaks through the door*  
We're having the munchies and we're making pasta... you want some?

David:  
*takes off his shirt and binder in the bathroom while listening to Matteo and Laura through the closed door*  
*hears Laura answer: "No thanks!" and then after a short pause: "Munchies? David should not drink so much!"*  
*moans and shouts through the two closed doors*  
I didn't...   
*puts his shirt back on and opens the door*  
*adds to Laura*  
Besides, you only graduate once in your life... so you may drink a little something to toast and so on...  
*hears Laura murmuring something and then hears louder: "As long as it was just a little bit..."*  
*groans quietly and shouts back*  
That's what I said.  
*hears her again: "Well then go ahead and celebrate..."*  
*is now somehow a little annoyed and sighs before he pushes Matteo, who has heard everything, to the kitchen*  
*grumbles when they arrive there*

  
Matteo:  
*nods when he hears her say no*  
Okay....  
*but then hears her addition and wants to say that he only meant himself to protect David, when David already interferes*  
*keeps his mouth shut and lets the siblings do their thing*  
*but can already see that David is quite annoyed*  
*lets himself be pushed into the kitchen by him*  
Hey....  
*stands in front of him and looks at him gently*  
She only means well... but I also understand that it is annoying... that we are annoying.... 

David:  
*looks at Matteo when he stands in front of him and snorts softly when he says that Laura only means well*  
*knows this, but does not want to hear it now*  
*keeps listening to him and then shakes his head*  
*mumbles*  
You're not annoying... you didn't say anything today...  
*is really grateful to him for this*  
*knows himself that he should not overdo it, but at least wants to have the feeling now and   
*but hears Matteo's stomach growling, grins and breaks away from him*then to be completely normal and to be able to do exactly what everyone else does*  
*puts his hands loosely on Matteo's hips and puts his head on his shoulder*  
*slowly relaxes a bit and now enjoys that the constricted feeling on his upper body has disappeared*  
Let's cook... before you starve...

Matteo:  
*slightly tilts his head*  
But I won't be able to stop completely...  
*immediately wraps his arms around him when he leans against him*  
*whispers quietly*  
You can always tell us to shut up... this is /your/ life....  
*hears his stomach growling and thinks that this is great timing*  
*then laughs slightly*  
Okay, let's cook....  
*slowly pulls away from him him and goes to the fridge to see if there is tomato paste that he can turn into sauce*

David:  
*nods slightly when Matteo says that he can't stop completely*  
*mumbles*  
You don't have to...  
*laughs softly when he says that he can tell him to shut up*  
*thinks that in general it's good that Laura and Matteo worry about him and that they care, but Matteo is right when he says that it's /his/ life*  
*sighs*  
At least you could see today that there was a good reason for an exception.  
*goes to the kitchen cupboard when Matteo detached himself from him and takes out a pack of pasta*  
*sees that Matteo is standing at the fridge and asks him*  
Can you get out a bottle of water? I'm thirsty... you too?  
*then gets a pot from the shelf and fills it with hot water before he puts it on the stove and turns the stove on*  
*puts some salt into the water and then gets two glasses from the cupboard*

Matteo:  
*picks out a few things for the sauce and puts them on the counter*  
*takes the bottle of water from the fridge and places it on the counter*  
Yes, me too....  
*20 minutes later they sit at the kitchen table and eat their pasta with the sauce, which has turned out really good*  
*looks up, when Laura comes in and gets a bottle from the fridge*  
*looks from her to David, who ignores her, and back again*  
There's some left... are you sure you don't want some?

David:  
*only notices while eating that he himself was quite hungry and how good it feels to eat something now*  
*looks up only briefly when Laura comes in, but then ignores her and continues eating*  
*hears her answer to Matteo's question: "Looks really good, but thanks, I had enough for dinner..."*  
*does not hear her leaving the kitchen and after a few seconds starts peeping in her direction*  
*she sees her standing at the fridge , but then taking a determined step towards him*  
*is hugged by her from behind and gets a kiss on the forehead*  
*hears her mumbling: "Sorry about earlier. I know that you can actually take care of yourself! Happy graduation!"*  
*feels how she is loosening the hug and now looks up and sees her ruffle Matteo's hair, smiles and says: "And congratulations to you too!"*  
*has to smile and mumbles now as well*  
Thank you!  
*then meets Laura's gaze and holds it for a while*  
*sees that everything is okay between them and smiles a bit more before he puts another bite of pasta in his mouth*  
*sees Laura leaning against the refrigerator and hears her ask quietly: "And you celebrated together?"*  
*nods and tells her*  
Yes - at the lake - together with Matteo's friends...

Matteo:  
*sees how Laura hesitates and hopes that this is a good sign*  
*then grins happily as she embraces David*  
*then laughs, when she also ruffles his hair*  
Thank you...  
*puts another fork full of pasta in his mouth and therefore cannot answer immediately*  
*but then swallows quickly*  
Together with /our/ friends....  
*sees how Laura smiles and nods*  
*hears her saying: "That sounds good....".*  
*grins at her*  
Yes it does....

David:  
*grins slightly as Matteo corrects him*  
Okay... with /our/ friends...  
*thinks that it still feels a bit like they are more Matteo's friends after all, but that it's getting better with time*  
*is really grateful and happy that each of them has accepted him without any problems*  
*scrapes the last bit of sauce from his plate, when Laura finally says: "I'm going to bed now... and listen to music over the headphones, if you want to celebrate some more..."*  
*hears Laura laughing and turns red*  
*says horrified*  
These are things a sister should not worry about...  
*sees how Laura tilts her head and says mischievously: "I don't think anything... although, yes, one thing: How about I invite you for a pizza tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? To celebrate you graduating? Think it over and let me know! Good night!"*  
*sees her disappear, pushes the plate away and looks at Matteo*  
It’s a scary thought that my sister imagines what we are doing in my room... Let's go to your place!

Matteo:  
*laughs at Laura's statement*  
*has no problem with that, but she is also not his sister*  
*smiles at the invitation and then looks at David*  
*laughs louder at David's statement*  
Wow, that was the hottest way to ask me for sex I can imagine....  
*then tilts his head slightly and grins*  
And if we go to my place now, she thinks we are doing this because we want to play cards?  
*knows that's mean, but can't resist teasing him*

David:  
*huffs at Matteo's first statement and laughs quietly and desperately at his next words*  
*raises his eyebrows and asks*  
Maybe!?  
*but then groans and gets up to clean up the plates*  
Okay, we'll stay here...  
*puts the plates in the sink and thinks that this has to be enough for today and that they can clean up the rest of the kitchen tomorrow*  
*leans against the sink and looks at Matteo*  
*grins slightly*  
I have a deck of cards somewhere...  
*wiggles his eyebrows and points with his head towards his room*

Matteo:  
*nods strongly when he says, they stay here*  
Good....  
*would not have liked to have to go out again*  
*then watches him tidy up and empties his glass*  
*then looks at David who leans against the sink*  
*laughs slightly and tilts his head*  
Sexy....  
*gets up and goes over to him*  
*grabs his hand and pulls him towards him*  
Well then, let's see your cards...  
*then pulls him with him into David's room*


	4. June 5, 2019 - Today, 11:00 CEST. Here.

**Wednesday, 9:15 am:**  
  
David:  
*was the first one to wake up today, has made some coffee and has packed everything that he has planned for today into his backpack while being in the kitchen*  
*has brought back two mugs filled with coffee to his room and has put them down on his nightstand*  
*with some cuddling and a promise of coffee was able to convince Matteo to wake up and to stay awake and they are now lazing on his bed scrolling on their phones*  
*is a little nervous because he doesn’t know if Matteo will find his plan totally dumb and silly but then simply goes ahead and sends Matteo a text via WhatsApp*  
 _Today, 11:00 CEST. Here. 52.508256, 13.334642_  
*peeks over at Matteo and anxiously waits for his reaction*  
  
Matteo:  
*is half awake and happy to have coffee*  
*scrolls through Instagram and slightly rolls his eyes at Hanna and Jonas' posts who have to share their happiness with the whole world*  
*but is actually really happy for them*  
*then sees the WhatsApp notification pop up and laughs when he sees David's name*  
*opens the message and grins over to him*  
*but doesn't say anything and instead answers*  
 _I'm having a deja vu... does that mean you'll disappear in a minute so that I have to find my way there on my own?_  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo’s grin and automatically has to grin as well*  
*sees that he writes something back and waits*  
*feels his phone vibrate and opens the message*  
*texts back*  
 _For a real deja vu I should do that... but if you prefer my company and local knowledge we can also go there together ;-)_  
*sends the text and reaches for his mug to take a sip of coffee*  
  
Matteo:  
*sees David typing and waits for the answer*  
*grins and sends a kiss-emoji*  
*then leans over and gives him a real kiss*  
I always prefer your company!  
*laughs*  
Did you really plan a date?  
*grabs his phone again to see where the coordinates lead to*  
  
David:  
*grins when he sees the kiss-emoji and then gets a real kiss from Matteo*  
*after he hears his words murmurs*  
That's good, then...  
*grins again and shrugs*  
You wanted one, after all...  
*laughs quietly*  
Of course we could simply have spent a nice day outside, but THIS way you get your official date...  
*sees that Matteo grabs his phone, probably to check the coordinates*  
*puts his mug down on the nightstand and lies back down again*  
*somehow is still in comfortable-mode and too lazy to get up*  
*turns to his side to look at Matteo and hopes that he can still remember their conversation about giraffes and stuffed rabbits*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins when Google Maps tells him where they're going*  
*puts the phone aside and looks down at David*  
We're going to the zoo?  
*scoots down a bit so that he can lay down next to David*  
Admit it, you were so flashed by my absolutely interesting fact about giraffes that you simply have to see the things for yourself, am I right?  
  
David:  
*still isn't sure that Matteo won't find the zoo thing a little silly, but then has to grin at his words*  
Exactly! I even packed an infrasonic device so that we can talk to them.  
*laughs and turns on his back*  
The stuffed rabbit is a little pissed that he isn't allowed to come along but you explicitly said that we should go without fathers and stuffed rabbits...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
I mean, I just don't know if we can risk it... I'm only thinking about the well-being of the stuffed rabbit... do you think he would survive another negligence from you?  
*grins and then nudges him a little*  
You know that you don’t have to do this, right? When I sent you these voice messages, I simply talked just to say something... and the thing about the date... I wasn’t really serious about that... you don't have to woo me or anything...  
*doesn’t want David to think that he expects him to constantly plan things like that*  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo talks about the rabbit's welfare*  
Hey, I'm a lot more careful now than I was at five. But if you're worried about him, you can ask him yourself - he's over there in the shelve...  
*points his finger to the shelf on the wall and laughs quietly*  
*looks back at Matteo when he nudges him*  
*at first doesn't know what he's talking about, but then realizes it and looks at him lovingly*  
I know...  
*turns to his side again and (unsuccessfully) pushes Matteo's hair out of his face*  
...but you were right about the date... there was something standing between us and I was constantly thinking about it... it was really great being at the Spree with you, but why shouldn't we have at least one date that we can both enjoy without any baggage...  
*smiles and briefly pinches Matteo's nose*  
But if you don't want to go on a date, then we'll simply go to the zoo together... we... and the stuffed rabbit!  
*peeks over to the shelf and then at Matteo*  
I think he's excited!  
  
Matteo:  
*looks over to the shelve and really sees the stuffed rabbit sitting there*  
*is briefly tempted to get up and get it but is too lazy*  
Hey, rabbit, does David treat you well?  
*briefly pretends to listen and then nods*  
Okay, then you can come with us!  
*grins and looks back at David*  
*nods at his words*  
*complains when David pinches him*  
Hey, I want a date! I just wanted to make sure you don't think that you have to or anything like that...  
*grins to the stuffed rabbit*  
And especially excited about the giraffes!  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo look to the rabbit and then hears him talking to it*  
*grins*  
Mister Rabbit, if you please! There’s got to be time for that...  
*then nods satisfied when Mister Rabbit seems to have told Matteo that he is treated well and laughs quietly when Matteo says that Mister Rabbit is especially excited about the giraffes*  
And he doesn't even understand them... well, we'll see... maybe we'll let him use our infrasonic device...  
*but then gets serious again and nods*  
*looks back from the rabbit to Matteo and says*  
I know that I don't have to... but I want to... first to the zoo... and then we'll see how much energy we have left...  
  
Matteo:  
*holds his hands up in defense*  
Mister Rabbit, excuse me!  
*laughs slightly*  
How do you know that? Maybe your Mister Rabbit has some special powers or something like that? Could be?  
*looks at David when he realizes that he's looking at him*  
*nods*  
Yes, sounds good... first to the zoo... and then maybe find a restaurant? Because the food in the zoo is always super expensive... we could grab something and then sit down somewhere by the water.  
  
David:  
*laughs when Matteo imputes special powers to Mister Rabbit*  
Who knows!? We'll see... but that's definitely one more reason to take him along...  
*shakes his head slightly when he thinks about the fact that he hasn't really paid attention to Mister Rabbit in years and that they are only talking about him because Matteo and he have shared some childhood memories a few weeks ago*  
*is really happy about the fact that he can do that with Matteo and that they can joke about the old stuffed animal together*  
*nods at Matteo's words and hums in agreement*  
Yes... I'd love that... well... I have prepared some provisions for when we are at the zoo... the backpack's already packed. But afterwards, I'd love to... the Landwehr-channel is close to the zoo, isn't it?  
*grins slightly*  
As I know you, you're probably gonna be hungry more than once over the course of the day...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and nods*  
I think Mister Rabbit will surprise us...  
*looks at him with heart-eyes when he says that he has prepared provisions*  
You've prepared provisions? You really are the best!  
*laughs slightly*  
But yes, it might definitely happen that I'm hungry more than once... but we'll manage, somehow... if we can't find anything, we'll go back to my place and I'll cook something for us. Okay?  
  
David:  
*shrugs a little embarrassed when Matteo asks about the provisions again and grins slightly when he says that he's the best*  
Well, food is somehow part of a date, isn't it?  
*hums a little indecisively at his suggestion to cook something in case they can't find anything and scoots a little closer to Matteo*  
*puts his head on his shoulder and wraps his arm around his middle*  
When /I/ invite you on a date, you shouldn't have to cook...  
*grins again and looks up at him*  
We're in Berlin, after all... there's food everywhere, isn't there?  
*subconsciously starts to draw small circles on Matteo's hip and asks*  
Have you been to the Berlin zoo often? Do you think those are the same giraffes as back then?  
  
Matteo:  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
I don't really know... does it? Well, I think it's good...  
*laughs slightly and wraps his arm around David, as well*  
But I don't mind... well, just in case we don't find anything.  
*buries his nose in David's hair*  
No, not that often, we were there again with school, but that's it... and I don't know, maybe? I think they get pretty old, so it could be possible.  
*presses a kiss to his head*  
But it doesn’t really matter, does it?  
  
David:  
*has to smile a little when Matteo asks about food at a date*  
That's what I've heard... I don't really have much experience with it...  
*hums hesitantly but agrees*  
Okay... but only then...  
*smiles when Matteo buries his face in his hair and presses him a little closer while he listens to him*  
*nods to what Matteo tells him and about the fact that it doesn't really matter*  
True...  
*briefly kisses his shoulder and then looks up at him*  
*grins slightly and asks*  
And now? 5 more minutes of making out and then let's get up, get ready and get going? Or do you need a little more time to wake up?  
*slightly pricks him in the side*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly*  
I've heard that as well... and like I said, I don't mind.  
*smiles slightly when he agrees*  
*but thinks that they'll find something*  
*but also wonders how dainty David is when it's about an official date or if he would also be okay with going to a Döner-restaurant in a pinch*  
*grins down at him when he kisses his shoulder*  
*grins even more when he hears his plan*  
*pricks him back slightly*  
Making out is always a great method to wake up...  
*laughs slightly and then turns into a more comfortable position to make out*  



	5. June 7, 2019 - Incompetent Specialists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention! This play includes transgender topics. For more details click [ here ](https://our-time-is-now.tumblr.com/post/630670915322167296/interjection-hello-its-us-again-we-have-already).  
>    
>    
> Also:  
> In this play the so-called “secretary’s-office-look” will be introduced and will feature in many plays to come.
> 
> This expression stems from a time where no one expected the plays to ever be posted and that an explanation for it would be necessary… but now it exists and will regularly feature in the plays and therefore does need an explanation:
> 
> It came into existence in order to describe this special David-look. This mix of chastising and amused… sometimes more chastising, sometimes more amused but always with a frown - but also with a hint of teasing and some annoyance and skepticism… yes, it’s difficult to explain… but David gives Matteo this look in the show when they are on their way to the secretary’s office. And thus, the “secretary’s-office-look” came into existence.
> 
> If you want to see what it looks like, click [ here ](https://our-time-is-now.tumblr.com/post/635243196803317760/hi-everyone-in-the-next-play-the-so-called).

**Friday, 10:42 am:**  
  
David:  
*he and Matteo have gotten up early today and have made their way to Potsdam*  
*is a little nervous but also pretty excited and curious as to what awaits him*  
*has read so many different reviews online and wonders what this surgeon will recommend him*  
*at the train stations they have bought themselves some coffees as they arrived a little early and are now arriving at the hospital*  
*because he still has some coffee left, he stops in front of the entrance and looks up to the building*  
*smiles at Matteo, who seems a little nervous, grabs his hand and squeezes it slightly*  
*quietly says*  
Thanks again, for coming with me!  
  
Matteo:  
*felt like he was more nervous than David all morning and wonders why*  
*is now looking at the huge hospital and wonders if that really will be the place where he will hopefully visit David soon*  
*doesn’t realize how nervous he has been acting until David grabs his hand*  
*smiles slightly at his words, tilts his head and makes a pff sound, because it’s crystal clear that he’s coming with him*  
Aren’t you nervous?  
  
David:  
*grins slightly at Matteo’s noise and gives him his secretary’s-office-look*  
*still doesn’t think that it’s a given but rather pretty wonderful that Matteo just goes along with everything concerning him*  
*briefly thinks about it at Matteo’s question and shrugs a little*  
I’m more excited…  
*grins again slightly and squeezes his hand*  
There can’t really go anything wrong, yet…  
*takes another sip of coffee, looks back at the building and then at Matteo*  
I’m really excited that it’s finally going somewhere…  
*means that the date for his surgery is getting more realistic with the consultation and that he will hopefully soon feel more comfortable in his body*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly*  
*thinks that excitement is good*  
*definitely better than his fear that they will hear horror stories in a moment*  
*grins slightly and nods when David says that there can’t really go anything wrong, yet*  
Mhm… true.  
*then smiles more broadly when he says that he’s excited*  
*can imagine that all the waiting is what sucks the most*  
Yes… hopefully your appointment won’t take as long as all the crap before…  
*notices that David takes his last sip*  
Let’s go inside?  
  
David:  
*sees that Matteo is now also smiling and is happy that he doesn’t seem as nervous anymore*  
*groans when he mentions all the crap before this and nods*  
Yes, that would be great… but I’m not getting my hopes up too much – the waiting periods are really long! Would be nice if it somehow worked out this year…  
*shrugs and takes his last sip of coffee*  
*nods at Matteo’s question and lets go of his hand to throw his cup into the trash*  
*looks at Matteo while they are walking next to each other toward the entrance and grins broadly*  
*says a little menacingly*  
Go in and win… dumdumdummm  
  
*they ask around until they find the right ward and don’t have to wait very long until they get asked to come into the consulting room*  
*there they are greeted by Dr. Müller and they introduce themselves, as well*  
*gets a little nervous now but thinks that he doesn’t really have to do much besides answer questions, ask questions and get examined*  
*puts the insurance documents and his trans resume on the desk and pushes them over to the doctor who only glances at them briefly and then pushes the papers aside*  
*hears him say with a smile: “I’d rather talk to you than simply read everything. Tell me a little bit about yourself, Mr. Schreibner, and what you expect to get out of the surgery”.*  
*asks if he wants to hear his trans resume and sees him nod*  
*so tells him about how he realized that he was trans, when he started going to therapy, when he started taking testo etc. and finally concludes with*  
… um… and what I expect to get out of the surgery!?  
*shrugs, laughs quietly and insecurely and briefly presses his lips together*  
*clears his throat and says*  
To some extent a more normal life… that I feel more comfortable in my body…  
  
Matteo:  
*goes into the consulting room with David and gets a little nervous again*  
*sits down on a chair next to David and opposite the doctor*  
*thinks it’s a good thing that he doesn’t seem to care too much about the paperwork*  
*listens to David, even though he already knows all of that very well*  
*notices that David is a little nervous at first but that he then gets more secure*  
*sees the doctor nod at David’s last sentence: “Yes, that should be the goal… exactly”:*  
*presses his lips together*  
*hears the doctor continue: “As you probably already know, there are different methods for the surgery… which one is used depends on your wish as well as your anatomical condition… If it’s okay with you I would like to examine you next door and then we can talk about the different methods?”*  
*looks from the doctor to David*  
*thinks that David has enough experience with doctors that examine him but still wants to make sure that David isn’t feeling too uncomfortable*  
*hears the doctor add: “Your companion can come along if that makes you feel more comfortable, or he can wait here, whatever you want”.*  
*answers before David has the chance*  
It’s okay, I’ll just wait here.  
*is pretty sure that David doesn’t want him in there*  
  
David:  
*nods when the doctor talks about the different surgery methods and also when he says that he’d like to examine him next door*  
*was expecting it but is a little nervous now because so far, he couldn’t really tell which surgery method the doctors might recommend for him*  
*hears that Matteo can come along and then already hears him decline*  
*hears the doctor say: “Whatever makes you comfortable!” and sees him get up and walk toward the door to the other room*  
*throws a thankful look at Matteo, because even though he has already seen him topless a few times during sex thanks to the heat in the last couple of days, being examined by a doctor under bright light is still something different*  
*briefly leans over to Matteo and kisses him quickly*  
*murmurs*  
See you in a minute…  
*then follows the doctor who patiently waits for him to undress*  
*doesn’t do this very often – not even with doctors – and has to resist the urge to cross his arms in front of his chest*  
*nods when the doctor asks permission again to touch his breasts and simply endures the procedure*  
*sees the doctor nod every now and then and make some notes while he pushes the breast tissue up and down and eventually measures the position of his nipples with some kind of ruler*  
*finally sees him nod and smile a little and hears the redeeming words: “You can get dressed again, Mister Schreibner”!*  
*gets dressed again while the doctor asks him: “Should we talk about the details in the consulting room with your partner”?*  
*smiles and nods even though he’s not sure if the doctor wants to know whether it’s okay to talk about the details in the consulting room or whether Matteo is his partner*  
*murmurs*  
Sure…  
*shortly after that he and the doctor sit down on the desk again and he briefly smiles at Matteo to signal him that everything is alright*  
*then looks at the doctor expectantly, who immediately starts talking: “Your breast size and tissue as well as the position of your nipples do allow for different surgery methods, I do, however, have a “favorite” (*sees him make air quotes*) that I would recommend for you. But first I would like to explain all possibilities to you.”*  
*sees him take out a pen and some paper and hears him start to explain three different methods based on sketches: Large incisions including the repositioning of the nipples, small incisions including the repositioning of the nipples and small incisions without relocating the nipples*  
*hears him say: “Basically these are the three methods that would be possible for you. I’ll explain the risks and the advantages and disadvantages of the respective methods in more detail in a minute… after that we’ll discuss the hysterectomy”*  
*nods a little overwhelmed*  
*knows these three methods and also knows the advantages and disadvantages and the risks and was actually hoping that the doctor would tell him which method would be the best one for him*  
  
Matteo:  
*quickly kisses David back and smiles at him quickly, hoping that it is encouraging*  
*patiently waits and looks around the room*  
*sees a small figurine on the desk which he absentmindedly pushes around*  
*hopes that the doctor has some empathy and that David won’t feel too uncomfortable*  
*quickly lets go of the figurine when both of them come back in*  
*sees David’s smile and is relieved and briefly takes his hand to give it a squeeze*  
*then listens to the doctor and frowns slightly*  
*also knows the different methods and is a little confused that the doctor doesn’t tell them anything different than Google*  
Umm… and which method is the best? I mean, which one do you suggest?  
*notices the doctor look at him a little surprised and raises his eyebrows*  
*then hears the doctor: “The methods all have advantages and disadvantages which I was about to explain to you”*  
*nods*  
Yes, I know… the small incisions are barely visible, but the larger ones are more precise and so on…  
*then presses his lips together because he didn’t mean to interrupt*  
The question is what you medically deem the most reasonable decision, isn’t it?  
  
David:  
*looks at Matteo a little surprised and secretly admires him for being brave enough to interrupt the doctor and to basically ask the exact thing he didn’t dare to ask and then has to suppress a grin when Matteo even lists some advantages and disadvantages*  
*looks back at the doctor who is now frowning and looking from him to Matteo*  
*eventually hears him sigh: “Listen, I’m aware that you have probably done extensive research online. Yet I am obligated to also inform you about said risks, which are…”*  
*can’t believe that the doctor really ignores Matteo’s question and instead stubbornly follows through with his script telling them about hemorrhages, necrotizing nipples and so on*  
*reaches for Matteo’s hand and looks at him a little pleadingly as if to say: “Don’t say anything else, let’s just get this over with…”*  
*barely listens to what the doctor is saying and is a little surprised when he seems to be finished with his speech*  
*looks at him and nods*  
*then clears his throat and repeats Matteo’s question*  
And which one of the three methods do you consider the most reasonable for my anatomy?  
  
Matteo:  
*immediately notices that he hasn’t made a friend just now*  
*still thinks his question was valid*  
*frowns again when the doctor continues talking and doesn’t answer his question in any way*  
*presses his lips together and thinks about simply asking again when David takes his hand*  
*looks over to him and notices his expression*  
*nods slightly and shuts up, even though he thinks the question is important*  
*grins slightly when David repeats his question*  
*hears the doctor clear his throat again: “Like I said, all three methods are absolutely justifiable in your case. It is more about which possible consequences you could best live with”.*  
*frowns again*  
Okay… well, sorry if I interrupt again… so what you’re saying is that my boyfriend’s breasts are in such a medically wonderful condition that all three methods are absolutely equally recommendable?  
*sees the doctor swallow*  
I’m really sorry if that’s somehow rude of me… but we’re here for a consultation, you know?  
  
David:  
*frowns when the doctor doesn’t provide them with a specific answer again and was just about to open his mouth and ask again when Matteo does*  
*sees the doctor swallow and get slightly nervous, but nods at Matteo’s words*  
*leans slightly forward and says*  
What my boyfriend is trying to say is that I was really hoping to get a definite recommendation from you. I know that with larger breasts there is a tendency to do larger incisions and with smaller ones smaller incisions… But I don’t have your experience and can’t really judge if my breasts are large or small and which method would be the best one. I am aware of the possible consequences of the respective methods. But I’m sure you wouldn’t leave someone with large breasts a free choice simply because they say that they couldn’t live with the consequences of large incisions.  
*shrugs and insecurely says*  
I just want to have a good result…  
*sees the doctor nod and sees him hesitate and eventually clear his throat: “Of course, you are right: I can give recommendations, but of course my patients have to bear the risks and consequences themselves…”*  
*hears him clear his throat again and eventually hesitantly say: “In your case I would actually lean towards small incisions without repositioning the nipples…”*  
*sees him reach for his paperwork, after all, and quickly skim over it and eventually add: “As I can see here, as is standard, you have also applied for a correction of the result with your health insurance… so should you not be happy with the position of your nipples in retrospect, it would be possible to correct that afterwards…”  
*nods and leans back again*  
*somehow is still dissatisfied because he doesn’t feel like the doctor really knows what he is talking about*  
*insecurely wonders whether his breasts are maybe so strange that he can’t give him a clear answer*  
*hears the doctor ask: “Do you have any further questions or should I continue with the hysterectomy”?*  
*shakes his head and looks at Matteo questioningly*  
*somehow has imagined all of that a little differently*  
  
Matteo:  
*can’t really believe that the doctor would only give them a tenuous recommendation even after they repeatedly asked*  
*can basically feel how disappointed David is and would like to just leave with him immediately*  
*gives him a half-smile when he looks over*  
*also shakes his head at the doctor*  
*hears the doctor start: “Well, like you surely know a hysterectomy is definitely recommendable to lower the risk of cancer, but in some cases to also help with dysphoria… the knowledge that the female organs have been removed can be quite helpful”*  
*would love to shake him when he quotes the next Wikipedia article*  
*continues to listen, after all: “Of course there is the possibility of vaginal removal, which would lend itself in case you don’t want to have another scar, otherwise there is also the possibility of an abdominal incision…”*  
*can’t help but roll his eyes*  
*murmurs*  
… and both of them have advantages and disadvantages…  
*sees the doctor look at him: “Excuse me”?*  
*shakes his head*  
Nothing, sorry.  
  
David:  
*at first listens to the doctor but tunes out after some time when he realizes that he doesn’t get any new information here, either*  
*hears Matteo murmur and has to grin a tiny bit*  
*isn’t really surprised that the doctor isn’t misled by that and instead simply continues talking*  
*takes Matteo’s hand and thrums on the back of Matteo’s hand with this thumb a little impatient and a little bored*  
*feels a little like during a boring subject at school – only that contrary to this appointment, he wasn’t expecting much there*  
*at some point hears the doctor ask: “Do you have any further questions”?*  
*did, in fact, prepare questions, but all of them refer to the actual hospital stay such as how long he’ll have to stay in the hospital, how long the surgery would take, if he has to consider anything beforehand, what the aftertreatment would look like and so on, but is now pretty certain that he doesn’t want to have the surgery here, so simply shakes his head and without letting go of Matteo’s hand leans forward a little so as to signal that the conversation is finished and that they want to leave*  
*says*  
No – thank you very much for the extensive speech!  
*manages to not make it sound as sarcastic as he feels*  
*hears the doctor: “It is common that you will consider everything now. You don’t have to make a decision immediately. Once you made a decision, just get in contact with my secretary and we’ll set a new appointment to talk about the details.”*  
*nods and gets up*  
Ok.  
*shakes the doctor’s hand and says his goodbyes*  
*only wants to get out of here quickly*  
  
Matteo:  
*holds David’s hand when he reaches for it*  
*immediately notices that David is finished and only wants to get out of here*  
*can’t believe that this guy is considered an expert in this field*  
*looks at David when he asks if he has any more questions*  
*knows that he has prepared an entire list of questions*  
*isn’t surprised when David says no and feels vindicated that David only wants to get out of here*  
*presses his lips together when the doctor tells them what is “common”*  
*bites back a comment on what he thinks is also “common” and gets up when David does*  
*only nods at the doctor as goodbye and quickly leaves with David*  
*whispers*  
Not yet…  
*once they have closed the door behind them*  
*grabs David’s hand again and quickly leaves the hospital with him*  
*then stops and turns around to him*  
Man, I don’t believe this… what was that?  
*shakes his head*  
What crap, I’m so sorry… has he never heard anything about patient care or what?  
*looks at David*  
I know you want all of this to happen soon, but not here, ok? I’d rather cut those things off you myself than let this guy cut into you!  
  
David:  
*feels a little surreal to leave the room with such a bad feeling as he had put so much hope into this consultation*  
*is glad that Matteo takes his hand again and lets himself be almost pulled outside*  
*smiles resigned when Matteo immediately starts to complain and shrugs at his rhetorical questions*  
*sighs quietly and nods when Matteo says that he shouldn’t have the surgery here*  
*quietly says*  
No, not here…  
*has to laugh quietly but is still somehow a little sad when Matteo says that he’d rather cut them off himself*  
*is so grateful that he came along and that he didn’t have to stand here on his own completely insecure, and is grateful that he is just as annoyed as him and that he tries to understand him but somehow has to digest all of that first and has to sort his thoughts before he can say anything*  
*therefore simply takes one step towards Matteo, puts his arms around his hips and hugs him*  
*buries his head in Matteo’s shoulder and simply stays like that for a minute, breathing in the familiar smell looking for some safety and comfort*  
*eventually murmurs*  
I want some ice cream…  
  
Matteo:  
*hears David quietly agree*  
*then looks at him and sees how disappointed he is*  
*feels powerless and helpless and would love to go back and tell the doctor what he thinks of him*  
*then sees and feels David hugging him and immediately knows that the doctor isn’t important, only David is*  
*wraps his arms around him and holds him tight*  
*doesn’t say anything and only buries his nose in David’s hair and gives him a small kiss*  
*otherwise simply lets him recharge*  
*smiles at his next words and quietly says*  
You can have the largest ice cream and the largest coffee… and hey, the next consultation is in one week, I’m sure that one will be better…  
  
David:  
*smiles at Matteo’s promise of ice cream and coffee and slowly detaches himself a little from him, even though he thinks that his comfort-batteries still aren’t fully charged*  
*looks at him and sighs quietly*  
*murmurs*  
I hope so…  
*looks around searchingly for a moment and then points his head in the direction of the city center because there surely is a place where you can get ice cream and coffee*  
*has difficulties with completely letting go of Matteo, but because they can’t really walk hugging each other he reluctantly lets go of him*  
*sighs again and shakes his head slightly*  
And the doctor was praised so highly… I don’t get why… what if all the other praised doctors are also this strange!?  
*is going to wait for the appointment next week and, if necessary, will also make some appointments in Hamburg, Düsseldorf and Munich*  
  
Matteo:  
*would have held onto David even longer, but lets go of him when he detaches himself*  
*but reaches for his hand when they start towards the city center*  
*shakes his head*  
No idea… he was praised because his surgeries are so good, not because he can talk very well… I’m sure the others will be better… and if they aren’t we’ll go to Hamburg or God knows where…  
*squeezes his hand*  
We’ll find something, I promise.  
  
David:  
*nods slowly and in agreement at Matteo’s words*  
*smiles slightly and squeezes his hand*  
*quietly says*  
“We”… that still sounds pretty good…  
*leans over to him while walking and presses a quick kiss to his cheek*  
*murmurs*  
Thanks…  
*takes a deep breath and realizes that he is feeling a little better even though he is still pretty disappointed and insecure*  
*thinks that maybe there really is something wrong with his breasts so that the doctor couldn’t give him a clear statement, but tries to push that thought away because rationally he knows that this isn’t the case and that even if it were, the doctor should be professional enough to talk about it openly with him*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly and nods*  
I think so, too…  
*looks at him after he kissed him*  
*notices David think again and pulls him closer to wrap his arm around his back instead of only holding his hand*  
*after some time they arrive at a nice ice-cream parlor and take a seat outside*  
*scrutinizes David after they have ordered*  
*has been wondering all the time how he could help him*  
Hey, if you want to, I’ll call the doctor in Berlin… see what their consultations are like… or we’ll take another close look at reviews online?  
  
David:  
*smiles slightly when Matteo puts his arm around him and wraps his arm around Matteo’s hip, as well*  
*can’t really tear his mind away from the horrible appointment and wonders if the next one will be similar*  
*orders ice cream and coffee with Matteo once they reach a nice ice-cream parlor*  
*then realizes that Matteo is scrutinizing him and tilts his head so as to ask him what he’s thinking*  
*hears his answer and smiles slightly because he thinks it’s great that Matteo worries*  
*sighs quietly, leans forward a little and takes Matteo’s hand*  
*thinks for a moment and then says*  
That’s nice of you…  
*shrugs and laughs quietly*  
I think calling the doctor won’t help much… but we could really read some more reviews… and maybe write to some of them and ask them how their consultations went…  
*searches for words to somehow make Matteo understand what’s going on inside him but gets interrupted by the coffee arriving – including the information that the ice cream would follow soon*  
*waits for the waitress to leave and then says with a sigh*  
You know, I have such stupid thoughts… what if…  
*lowers his voice a little*  
…if my breasts really have such a weird shape that he couldn’t suggest a method?!  
*shake his head slightly because he does know that his is probably nonsense*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly when David says that calling probably wouldn’t help much*  
*then takes his phone out of his pocket when he says that looking at reviews would be good*  
*puts it on the table when he realizes that David wants to say more*  
*leans back and lets go of David’s hand again when the coffee arrives*  
*tilts his head slightly when David says that he has stupid thoughts*  
*slightly grimaces when he hears David’s worries and shakes his head*  
No, I don’t think so… I think he’s a coward who doesn’t want to commit so that people won’t complain about it afterwards…  
*grabs his phone and opens google*  
Let’s just look right away… what was the name of that surgeon in Berlin again?  
  
David:  
*shrugs at Matteo’s assumption and says*  
Hmm… yes, you’re probably right…  
*would love for the second appointment to be sooner so that he has a comparison*  
*sees Matteo reach for his phone and at the same time pulls his coffee towards him*  
*blows on it and then takes a careful sip*  
*smiles slightly when Matteo wants to google immediately*  
Dr. Meier…  
*then sees the waitress arrive with their ice cream and makes some space so that she can put down Matteo’s spaghetti sundae and his strawberry sundae on the table*  
*thanks her and then looks at Matteo*  
Check if someone has added their email address so that we can ask them more questions… for some reason Dr. Müller also had good reviews… otherwise we wouldn’t have gone to him in the first place…  
*pulls his strawberry sundae toward him and smiles because it looks really delicious and he’s really excited about it*  
*really needs this right now as consolation and plucks a strawberry from the heap of whipped cream on top of it*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods at the name and types “Dr. Meier Berlin reviews”*  
Oh, he’s also worked in Potsdam until 2018…  
*keeps scrolling*  
Only hospital pages…  
*reaches for his coffee and takes a sip before he continues reading*  
Oh here… travesta forum… oh someone says that he’s arrogant…  
*keeps reading*  
But the next one says that the result would be great and that the consultation in particular convinces… well then he can be a little bit arrogant, as far as I’m concerned…  
*looks up at David*  
What do you think?  
  
David:  
*has started eating his ice cream and is listening to Matteo*  
*slightly grimaces when he says that Dr. Meier used to be in Potsdam and that one person says that he’s arrogant*  
*sighs quietly and then nods at Matteo’s next words*  
*sucks on his spoon and notices that he really is feeling better because of the ice cream*  
*then says*  
As long as it’s only a little… and he can give a clear statement and doesn’t just quote Wikipedia…  
*takes another spoonful of ice cream and then takes Matteo’s phone away*  
*pushes his ice cream towards him, which is slowly beginning to melt*  
*murmurs with his mouth half full of ice cream*  
First the ice cream... then we’ll continue!  
*smiles slightly*  
*swallows and repeats*  
We’ll just keep looking until we find one we both like… I think I simply make appointments everywhere. If we like someone, we can still cancel the appointments…  
*tries to suppress the urge and longing to get rid of those things as quickly as possible – after all, wants to feel like he’s under good care*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods*  
Yes, I agree…  
*keeps scrolling but suddenly his hands are empty*  
Oi!  
*then grins*  
Okay, first ice cream.  
*takes a spoonful and closes his eyes in appreciation*  
Mhmmmm… delicious.  
*then nods*  
Yes… I know you want to get rid of those things as soon as possible but it can’t hurt to get some more opinions…  
*takes another spoonful and then pushes it toward David*  
Try this… it’s so good!  
  
David:  
*grins slightly when Matteo enjoys his ice cream and also takes another spoonful*  
*nods at his words, but first tries Matteo’s ice cream and nods again*  
Really good!  
*pushes his ice cream toward Matteo so that he can also try it and says*  
As long as it happens before next summer. So that maybe I can go into the lake with everyone, after all…  
*after the meeting three days ago, would really like to go swimming one of these days – a thought he didn’t have during the last couple of years, probably due to the lack of people and possibilities*  
*takes another spoonful of his ice cream and, with his mouth half full, quietly murmurs*  
…and being amongst people without a binder… or work out… or in general… that would really be awesome…  
  
Matteo:  
*tries David’s ice cream and nods approvingly*  
Really good ice cream, here…  
*listens to him and nods to everything he says*  
I think that’s gonna work out… even this year… I’ve got a feeling about it…  
*smiles at him a little and takes another sip from his coffee*  
Generally everything without a binder… do you already know what you want to do with those things once you don’t need them anymore?  
  
David:  
*smiles because Matteo likes his ice cream and then puts ice cream and a strawberry on his spoon and holds it out to Matteo with a grin*  
It’s even better with a strawberry!  
*sighs quietly*  
If Berlin’s also a bust then it’ll probably drag on until next year… who knows when I’ll even get appointments for a consultation…  
*laughs quietly when Matteo asks about the binders and shrugs*  
Burn them!?  
*pulls his coffee toward him, as well, and takes a sip*  
Or sell them… or donate them… I’ll have to see. I think my favorite ones I can really only burn – nobody wants those anymore.  
*then asks*  
Are we going back to Berlin already or should I convince you that – apart from a certain hospital – Potsdam is actually quite nice?  
  
Matteo:  
*leans forward and takes the bite of ice cream and strawberry from David’s spoon*  
Mhmmmm  
*shakes his head*  
No, no, let’s not think like that… from now on, we’re lucky, this was basically the dress rehearsal which is known to go wrong…  
*rubs at his eyes a little because he’s looking into the sun*  
*laughs when he says burn them*  
We’ll do a burn-party… with someone who has a garden... Hanna! And then everyone can bring something that they want to burn!  
*finishes his coffee and then pulls his ice cream closer again*  
*shrugs*  
Well, as we’re here already we might as well look around for a bit…  
  
David:  
*has to grin at Matteo’s positive thoughts and grins exaggeratedly and with raised eyebrows*  
Okay… then the next appointment /has/ to be good… with luck and a bad dress rehearsal… of course!  
*laughs quietly*  
*laughs even more when he plans a burn-party*  
Oh yes, please! That could be interesting. And everyone can hold a farewell speech for the stuff they burn!  
*scrapes up the last bits of ice cream*  
*has some strawberries left and invitingly holds them out to Matteo to offer him one, as well*  
*meanwhile asks*  
And what would you burn?  
*nods satisfied when Matteo says that they’ll stay in Potsdam and thinks about what he wants to show Matteo*  
*has only been here twice, so far, but always thought it was pretty nice*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
It’ll be even better with speeches…  
*scoops up a strawberry with his spoon and pops it into his mouth*  
*then slightly tilts his head when he hears David’s question*  
Hmmm… my manual “How to stay in the closet forever”  
*grins slightly but then shakes his head*  
No, I don’t know… my school books?  
  
David:  
*in his head already starts writing down the farewell speech for his binders and has to grin widely at that thought*  
*laughs at Matteo’s first suggestion and shakes his head*  
I wouldn’t be surprised if something like that really existed…  
*takes another strawberry and nods about the schoolbooks*  
That’s more like it… you can throw mine in, as well…  
*takes the last strawberry and says*  
I’d be really interested in what the others would burn… dark secrets from the past…  
*grins again and leans back again because he has now finished his ice cream*  
*looks at Matteo and sighs once*  
Now I’m feeling a little better…  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head*  
I hope not… that would be horrible…  
*finishes his spaghetti ice-cream*  
Hanna will probably burn schoolbooks, as well… she’s so glad to finally be done with that shit… Kiki probably some beauty products that aren’t vegan or something like that…  
*shrugs because he can’t think of anything else*  
*scrapes out the last of his ice cream and then pushes it aside*  
*smiles at David*  
I’m glad… do you want another coffee or something else or do we want to get going?  
  
David:  
*shrugs at Matteo’s question and reaches for his mug where there’s still some coffee left*  
Get going? Or do you want anything else…?  
*sees him shake his head and finishes his coffee*  
*then pushes Matteo’s phone back toward him so that he won’t forget it and then looks around for the waitress so that they can pay*  
*can’t see her anywhere and leans back again*  
*reaches for Matteo’s hand and entwines their fingers because somehow it has been far too long without physical contact*  
*looks at him and smiles slightly*  
*absentmindedly strokes his thumb over the back of Matteo’s hand*  
*thinks about first going to the Sanssouci park with him and find a quiet corner for some alone time with him*  
*then sees the waitress and nods at her to tell her that they want to pay*  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head at David’s question*  
*takes his phone from David and immediately puts it in his pocket*  
*smiles when David takes his hand and scoots closer to him*  
*reaches for his wallet when the waitress comes towards them*  
*hears her ask “together or separately”?, her gaze only directed at their entwined hands*  
Together…  
*takes a 20 Euro bill form his wallet and holds it out to David*  
*murmurs*  
Hold it!  
*sees David look at him more than punishingly but then does it anyway*  
*so hands the bill to the waitress, both of them holding onto it together*  
*sees her grin and grins as well*  
*takes the change and puts it away*  
*hears the waitress say: “Have a nice day”*  
*grins*  
You, too.  
*puts his wallet away again*  
*rubs at his eyes and gets up*  
Let’s go!  
  
David:  
*looks up when the waitress arrives and was just about to answer her when Matteo does*  
*smiles at him and quietly says*  
Thanks…  
*sees him rummage around in his wallet and looks at him a little confused when Matteo holds the 20 Euro bill out to him*  
*draws up an eyebrow at his words once he realizes what he’s up to, but then sighs quietly and takes hold of the bill to hand it over to the waitress /together/ with Matteo*  
*looks at her apologetically but sees her grin and then shakes his head with a grin*  
*also wishes her a nice day and lovingly murmurs to Matteo*  
You loon…  
*gets up and waits for Matteo while he puts his wallet away*  
*notices him rub his eyes again and briefly wonders if it’s only the sun or if it might be an allergy or something*  
*looks at him a little worriedly when he gets up, but then has to smile all of a sudden*  
*takes a small step toward him and looks at him a little more closely to make sure before he finally quietly says*  
You have an eyelash there…  
  
Matteo:  
*only grins when he calls him a loon*  
*thinks his joke was pretty good*  
I thought it was a good joke…  
*gets up and was just about to pull David closer to wrap his arm around him when David takes a step toward him*  
*looks a little surprised, then a little reproachful when he hears his words*  
*thinks that he wants to hoax him because of the 20 Euro joke*  
Haha… very funny…I get it, you don’t think my ice breakers are funny…  
  
David:  
*also found the joke funny in hindsight but only laughs quietly at Matteo’s words*  
*sees Matteo’s look – first surprised, then a little reproachful and looks back at him questioningly*  
*then laughs quietly when he realizes that Matteo thought he wanted to hoax him and shakes his head*  
*takes a step toward him and murmurs*  
Hold still…  
*then carefully takes the eyelash from Matteo’s face and holds it out to him on his index finger*  
*looks at him with a knowing look and tilts his head with a mischievous smile*  
Can you make a wish now or is that only an eyelash?  
*grins slightly and questioningly draws up his eyebrows*  
  
Matteo:  
*only realizes that he really has an eyelash there when David tells him to hold still*  
*holds still and closes his eyes for a moment*  
*then tilts his head when David does*  
I’ve learned that it’s only an eyelash…  
*blows the eyelash off of David’s finger and looks at him with a smile*  
But maybe you can guess what I would wish for…  
  
David:  
*looks at Matteo knowingly*  
Oh jeez, really? /I/ have learned that you could make a wish now!  
*drops his hand after Matteo has blown the eyelash off and also looks at him with a smile*  
*slightly shrugs at his question*  
No idea… going somewhere or something like that…  
*grins slightly*  
…or an expensive car, a big house, a new laptop?  
*takes his hand and entwines their fingers*  
*briefly looks down at their hands and murmurs*  
…or maybe this…?  
*smiles and looks back up at him*  
  
Matteo:  
*slightly smiles at David’s answer*  
*until now was always a little embarrassed about their first conversation*  
*but is happy that David seems to remember it fondly*  
*grins*  
And then directly to Detroit!  
*shakes his head at the things he lists*  
*together with David looks at their hands and then back at him*  
*nods slightly*  
Yep… when I want to go somewhere or simply to get out of a situation then only with you.  
  
David:  
*grins broadly when Matteo mentions Detroit and murmurs*  
One day to Detroit…  
*notices that Matteo was also looking at their hands and smiles at his words*  
*likes the thought and feels his heart beat faster when he thinks about the fact that Matteo feels the same way – that now they are a “we”*  
*squeezes his hand and keeps looking at him*  
*but doesn’t quite understand what he means with a situation and quietly asks*  
Running away only together?! From what situations do you mean?  
  
Matteo:  
*smilingly nods and repeats*  
One day to Detroit…  
*doesn’t let go of David’s hand but starts to slowly move away from the café with him*  
*shrugs one shoulder at his question*  
Don’t know… stupid parties… or stupid people… whatever there may come.  
  
David:  
*follows Matteo when he starts to move*  
*grins slightly at his words and nods*  
*quietly walks next to him for some time but then looks at him and says*  
So it wasn’t only an eyelash, after all…?  
*softly bumps him with his shoulder and grins slightly*  
Would be nice if you really could make a wish and could simply disappear…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly and shrugs*  
Maybe you don’t… maybe you do… maybe it also depends on the situation…  
*nods exaggeratedly*  
Yes, that would be really nice… to always have an eyelash at the ready whenever you want to disappear…  
*looks at him and grins slightly*  
But admit it, you really thought I was stupid, didn’t you?  
  
David:  
*laughs loudly at Matteo’s assumption and shakes his head*  
Never!  
*presses a kiss on his cheek while walking and ruffles through his hair in embarrassment*  
*then says*  
If one of us was stupid it was me…  
*laughs again quietly*  
Of course I knew that there is a saying that you could make a wish when you have an eyelash…  
*shrugs and says a little sheepishly*  
….but I thought I would somehow be more mysterious if I acted aloof… or something like that…  
*has to grin slightly when he thinks about their first meeting and how they were dancing around each other*  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head when David says that he was acting stupid*  
*tilts his head and looks at him reproachfully when he says that he did know*  
*but then grins at his next words*  
Oh I can tell you one thing… you definitely were mysterious.  
*kisses David on the cheek and laughs*  
But it’s comforting to know that we can make a wish on eyelashes from now on.  
  
David:  
*laughs briefly and nods*  
Mysterious and stupid…  
*grins when Matteo also kisses him on the cheek and wraps his arm around Matteo’s waist*  
*smiles at his next words and nods*  
Yes – wishes are definitely a cool thing… a pity that you just simply wasted your eyelash-wish because you thought it would only be an eyelash…  
*pokes him in the side and grins*  
That’s what you get if you listen to some random mysterious guy…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
You aren’t stupid.  
*wraps his arm around David’s shoulders*  
*slightly pokes him back*  
Are you saying that I shouldn’t listen to you anymore?  
*grins at him with his eyebrows raised*  
*but then shrugs one shoulder*  
Maybe my wish has already come true.  
  
David:  
*thinks that maybe he isn’t stupid now but that he was back then but doesn’t disagree with Matteo because he suspects that otherwise they’d argue about it forever*  
*simply grins at his next question and nods*  
Better not when I act mysterious…  
*laughs quietly*  
…because then somehow I’m not being myself…  
*looks at Matteo questioningly when he says that his wish might have already come true but then shakes his head and laughs again quietly*  
Okay, I won’t ask what you wished for…  
*doesn’t want to be as presumptuous as to assume that Matteo might have wished for exactly this – maybe he simply wished for a cheese toast or to pass his Abi… or a warm summer or that Jonas and Hanna get back together… or a leveling-up at Zelda…*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks at him when he says that he’s not being himself when he acts mysterious*  
Hmmm… you think? Only because you hold something back doesn’t mean that you’re not being yourself, does it?  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
I also thought you were great when you were mysterious.  
*then looks over to him and notices that he seems to be thinking about something*  
*even laughs a little*  
Well, you. Us. This right here.  
*slightly shakes his head because that should be obvious*  
  
David:  
*also shrugs one shoulder at Matteo’s words and briefly gnaws on his bottom lip*  
Yes, that’s true… maybe mysterious isn’t the right term… I was more unapproachable back then… almost dismissive… exaggeratedly cool… a little aloof… just stupid somehow… I could have held something back in a nicer manner…  
*laughs quietly when Matteo says that he thought he was great even when he was mysterious*  
Well that’s something…  
*blushes slightly and gets sheepish when Matteo announces so naturally that he wished for “this right here – him – them” and feels his heartbeat speed up*  
*remembers back to when they were separated due to his cowardice, when he was sitting alone in his room wishing for nothing more than /this right here/*  
*then realizes that /this right here/ is actually a lot better than every imagination he had and simply wraps his other arm around Matteo and squeezes him tightly*  
*but then realizes that walking like this is uncomfortable and stops for a moment*  
*looks at him, smiles slightly and then quietly says*  
I was also wishing for that… but…  
*hesitates briefly and searches for the right words*  
*slightly shakes his head and smiles wider while he says*  
…but that it will be so… nice… cool…  
*grins slightly*  
…sappy and great… I never could have imagined that…  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly at David’s words about being unapproachable*  
*sometimes also found it difficult and hard and painful*  
*but still thinks that it was worth it because now they are where they are, which is together*  
*then sees him blush and finds it really cute*  
*slightly grins at him*  
*laughs when he can’t keep walking and stops at the same time as David*  
*also wraps his other arm around him*  
*draws up his eyebrows when he hears his “but”*  
*for a moment is afraid of what he will say*  
*but then beams when he hears the rest of his sentence*  
Yeees, because I’m such an awesome guy.  
*grins and kisses him briefly*  
*leans his forehead against David’s and quietly says*  
I never would have thought that I’d ever get something like this…  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo says that he’s such an awesome guy and nods exaggeratedly*  
*parrots him and says*  
Yeees, because you’re such an awesome guy!  
*but then gets serious again when Matteo kisses him and grumbles in protest because it was so brief*  
*then realizes that Matteo doesn’t let go of him completely and smiles when he puts his forehead against his*  
*hears his words and suddenly has a lump in his throat – not only because he never even dreamt that he’d ever get something like what he has with Matteo – that he would find someone who accepts him just the way he is – but also because he thinks it’s so incredible and sad that Matteo thinks this little of himself even though he’s simply perfect and that he deserves what they have more than anything*  
*as so often can’t really believe that Matteo chose him of all people*  
*swallows but doesn’t manage to get rid of the lump in his throat*  
*puts a hand on Matteo’s cheek and with a husky voice murmurs*  
Me neither…  
*searches for his lips and kisses him*  
  
Matteo:  
*feels his heart beat faster when David puts his hand on his cheek and even more so when he hears his words*  
*not only the last three weeks but also the time before that still seem like a dream to him*  
*closes his eyes when he kisses him*  
*beams broadly when they eventually separate*  
Well then we were really lucky that we found each other.  
*grins slightly and kisses him again*  
And now show me a cool spot in Potsdam where we can make out some more.  



	6.  June 8, 2019 - Moving up a level

**Saturday, 9:56 pm:**  
  
Matteo:  
*is lying in one of the corners of the couch, a vodka-o in hand*  
*the flatshare party is in full swing*  
*everyone is there*  
*even Laura, who has already talked to Linn, and who luckily seem to get on quite well*  
*most of the people are in the living room, even though Matteo thinks that probably a few of them have occupied the bathroom*  
*next to him are Carlos and Kiki and he'd rather not pay too close attention to what they are doing*  
*on the other couch Hans and Amira are talking about something he doesn't quite understand*  
*on the other side of the room he can see Hanna and David and Jonas talking*  
*then sees Hanna nod, turn the music down a little and declare loudly*  
DRINKING GAME! No backtalk! Everyone gather in a circle!  
*groans slightly and simply doesn't move*  
*his plan works as the circle that forms includes the sofas*  
  
David:  
*has introduced Laura to all the important people and is glad that she immediately made friends and is talking to people*  
*has spoken a little bit about the vacation plans with Hanna and Jonas and has learned that the girls haven't really gotten far with their planning, either*  
*they have then observed the people together for a little while until Hanna got the idea of playing a drinking game*  
*simply sits down with everyone – across from Matteo as the seats next to him are already occupied*  
*hears Hanna: "Okay... I'll start and spin the bottle and I have to tell the person it points to what my first impression of them was. Okay?” and Carlos: "Huh? And when do we have to drink!?”*  
*laughs and hears Abdi: "that doesn't matter, you can drink whenever you want", and Carlos again: "Yes but this was supposed to be a drinking game!”*  
*hears Hanna sigh: "Then call it spin-the-bottle!" and Carlos' protest "but I want to drink!”*  
*sees that Carlos wants to argue further but he gets interrupted by Mia: "You can drink when you're not happy with your first impression" and Hanna quickly add: "I'll just start"*  
*watches Hanna spin the bottle and how it stops pointing at Alex*  
*hears her laugh: "That's easy. Arrogant snob! Sorry, Alex..." and sees Alex simply shrug: "Who would have thought?! And now it's my turn, or what?"*  
*watches Alex spin the bottle and how it stops pointing at Matteo*  
*hears him say: "Easy! Constantly stoned"!*  
*hears everyone laugh and is curious to know who the bottle will point to when Matteo spins it*  
  
Matteo:  
*isn't really convinced by the game but plays along when everyone else does*  
*only grins tiredly at Alex' first impression of him*  
Well that's not really a surprise...  
*sighs slightly and spins the bottle*  
*sees it point at Laura and her looking at him expectantly*  
*thinks that of course that had to happen and finishes his drink first*  
*hears Jonas: "Don't let us wait, Luigi"*  
*shrugs slightly*  
I thought: shit, she looks good!  
*sees Laura gape at him and how everyone else looks at him a little horrified, as well*  
*feels Carlos lean towards him and how he tries to whisper, but everyone can hear: "Dude, Brudi, David's right here!"*  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo's bottle point at Laura and really is a little curious what his first impression of her had been*  
*then hears his words and remembers when and under what circumstances Matteo had seen Laura the first time*  
*grins broadly*  
*hears Carlos' "whisper" and has to laugh out loud*  
*notices the confused and partly horrified faces turn toward him and explains*  
Matteo thought that Laura was my girlfriend when he first met her...  
*now also sees Jonas' grin, who seems to be the first one to understand: "Haha, and then you thought she looks so good, I don't stand a chance against her with David…?"*  
*lovingly and grinningly looks at Matteo and remembers their almost-kiss after the party and the relieve in Matteo's eyes after he told him that Laura was his sister*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks over at David when he hears Carlos' words and is relieved to see him grin*  
*is glad that he seems to remember under which circumstances he first met Laura*  
*quickly lowers his gaze when David explains it*  
*feels a little embarrassed by it now*  
*only shrugs one shoulder at Jonas' words*  
*then feels two arms wrap around him and notices only now that Laura has gotten up to hug him and to grin at him*  
*hears her say: "Thanks for the compliment!"*  
*has to grin a little*  
Yeah, yeah, all right...  
*sees Laura sit back down*  
*hears Kiki: "Hang on, was that at the neon party? Did you already have something going on back then?"*  
*shakes his head and because his glass is already empty grabs Carlos' glass and takes a sip*  
*ignores Kiki*  
Okay, Laura, you have to spin!  
  
David:  
*sees his sister spin the bottle and how it stops pointing at him*  
*looks at her provokingly*  
You better not say anything other than: "What a cute little baby!"  
*grins and sees Laura grin, as well: "Well, to be honest I thought: "And because of this shriveled little thing I couldn't keep playing with my Playmobil?!”*  
*laughs*  
Very nice!  
*they continue to play a few more rounds until the game dissolves and everyone starts conversations among themselves rather than play*  
*at some point disappears to the bathroom and when he comes back notices that the spot on the couch next to Matteo is no longer taken*  
*plops down next to him and wraps Matteo's arm around his shoulders*  
*looks up at him and presses a brief kiss to his mouth*  
Everything all right?  
*has the suspicion that parties sometimes get too much for Matteo, but thinks that he's actually doing quite good today*  
  
Matteo:  
*by now has gotten himself another beer but managed to take his spot on the couch again*  
*smiles slightly when he sees David come toward him*  
*laughs a little when David moves his arm but simply lets him do his thing*  
*kisses him back and then puts down his beer so that his hands are free*  
*grabs David's hand with his free one*  
*feels a warm tug in his stomach when David asks him how he's doing*  
Everything all right...  
*turns around slightly so that he can kiss him again*  
And you? Is everyone being nice or do I have to scold someone?  
*grins slightly*  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo says that everything's all right and murmurs*  
Well, that's good, then...  
*moves toward him for the kiss and then cuddles closer to him*  
*laughs quietly at Matteo's question*  
Everyone's being nice...  
*grins*  
Although Laura was a little rude... shriveled little thing... pfff...  
*but relaxes in Matteo's arms and says*  
But the scolding can wait... right now it's so comfortable...  
*peeks over at Laura, who is talking to Linn again, and adds with a grin*  
And you'd probably scare off Linn if you scold Laura right now... but thanks for the offer!  
*pulls his hand toward him and presses a kiss to his fingertips*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
Okay, okay, I'll scold her later...  
*looks over to Linn and Laura*  
But I'm happy that they get along...  
*smiles when David kisses his fingers and then slaps his face, simply because he can*  
*hears Kiki: "And here are Matteo and David"*  
*looks at her and sees her filming with her phone, probably for Instagram*  
*grins broadly and holds out his middle finger to her and hears her say: "Charming as ever..."*  
*shrugs and sees her move on*  
*laughs slightly and takes his hand from David's to grab his beer*  
Do you also want a sip?  
  
David:  
*nods to Linn and Laura*  
Yes, so am I... I guess we'll really have a guest during Pride...  
*grins at the idea of the four of them having a nice evening*  
*removes Matteo's fingers from his face with a sound of protest and reaches for his hand when he holds his middle finger into Kiki's camera*  
*pulls a face into the camera himself and relaxes against Matteo when Kiki moves on*  
*automatically reaches for Matteo's beer when he offers it to him*  
Sure... thanks!  
*takes a sip*  
*had only had one beer today and only drank cola for the rest of the night*  
*then realizes that the beer is almost empty, grins slightly and takes another sip*  
*gives Matteo back the empty bottle*  
  
Matteo:  
*takes the empty bottle back from David and only then notices that it's empty*  
Seriously?  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
Should I go get more? Can you drink another one?  
*sits up a little and slowly takes his arm off David*  
*waits for his answer that he also wants a beer*  
*quickly kisses him again and then gets up to go to the kitchen*  
*to his surprise notices that the kitchen is empty and takes two beers out of the fridge*  
*sees Hanna enter the kitchen*  
You, too?  
*points at the fridge and hands her a beer when she nods*  
  
Hanna:  
*goes into the kitchen to get another beer and sees Matteo in front of the fridge*  
*grins at his question and nods*  
Sure!  
*takes the bottle from him and opens it with the bottle opener on the fridge*  
*cheers at Matteo*  
To us!  
*grins slightly and leans against the fridge*  
Cool that you're throwing a party again. Is there a special occasion?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs tunelessly*  
Yes, exactly, to us!  
*takes a sip and leans on the counter next to Hanna*  
No, not really... thought it would be fun... and Laura wanted to meet everyone again...  
*grins slightly and shrugs*  
Of course we could also celebrate you and Jonas sorting things out... Congrats, by the way, I'm really happy for the two of you...  
  
Hanna:  
*grins*  
Yeah, it's always fun... but of course Laura is also a good reason. She seems to be really nice. I've talked to her for a moment earlier.  
*then blushes slightly, has to smile and lowers her gaze when Matteo congratulates her*  
Thanks... I'm also happy!  
*looks back up again and laughs*  
I really didn't believe in it anymore for some time... but that makes it even better that it worked out in the end. We're really happy!  
*takes another sip of beer*  
And what about you and David? Still on cloud 9?  
  
Matteo:  
*only nods at what Hanna says about Laura and agrees with her*  
*grins when she blushes and pokes her slightly*  
That’s obvious… you deserve it, both of you…  
*grins slightly when she mentions David*  
Yep… we’ve decided that we’re sappy and that we’re proud of it…  
*laughs slightly*  
No, seriously… we’re doing great… if someone had told me this a year ago…or even two months ago… I wouldn’t have believed it…  
*looks at her and grins*  
But we’re probably similar in that respect, aren’t we?  
  
Hanna:  
*laughs at Matteo’s words*  
Well as long as you agree on it everything’s great!  
*smiles about his disbelief and nods*  
Yes, probably…  
*hesitates for a moment but then says*  
Considering that only a year ago you’ve been in love with Jonas…  
*looks at him smilingly and scrutinizingly because she doesn’t know if it’s okay to confront him with this, but she simply has to talk about it at some point and if not now, when all four of them are happy, when else*  
*takes another sip of beer*  
  
Matteo:  
*hears her words and for a moment feels like somebody had pulled the rug out from under his feet*  
*never told anyone about that and was never planning on doing it*  
*feels as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over his head*  
What? I… nah, that… that was… wasn’t like that…  
*isn’t able to look at her and quickly takes a huge sip of beer and wishes that he would have gotten something harder*  
  
Hanna:  
*immediately notices how insecure Matteo gets and almost feels sorry for simply saying it*  
*then hears him deny it and looks at him skeptically*  
Well, I don’t think that you’ve been in love with me back then…  
*bumps her shoulder against his*  
Hey, come on, it’s okay…  
  
Matteo:  
*swallows when he remembers the excuse from back then and nods embarrassed*  
True… sorry…  
*looks at her carefully*  
You’re not mad or anything? I mean…  
*shrugs a little helplessly*  
  
Hanna:  
*immediately shakes her head when he asks if she’s mad*  
Nonsense… as I said back then: Jonas and I would have broken up anyways. I somehow had to realize first that I can also exist without him…  
*takes another sip of beer and then says*  
To be honest, I even thought so back then… but now it’s somehow obvious in hindsight…  
  
Matteo:  
*sighs slightly and takes another sip*  
Yeah… now it’s probably obvious…  
*hesitates a little and collects his words*  
By the way, what I told you back then is true… I never thought that it would escalate like this…  
  
Hanna:  
*shrugs*  
I guess no one would have expected that… but it’s okay…  
*sighs quietly*  
It’s been over a year… let’s just put it behind us and continue our lives, okay?  
*takes another sip and then asks carefully*  
Is it okay for you now? I mean, sure, you’ve got David now… but the thing with Jonas? Are you over it completely? I mean, is it okay for you that Jonas and I are back together or is it somehow weird?  
  
David:  
*as some point wonders why Matteo is taking so long with the beer, but thinks that he’s probably talking to someone somewhere*  
*decides to get his beer himself, gets up from the couch and goes through the surprisingly empty hallway towards the kitchen*  
*can hear Hanna and Matteo talking while he is still in the hallway, but can’t make out what they’re saying, but now knows why his beer still hasn’t arrived*  
*grinningly takes a step into the kitchen to complain but then hears Hanna’s last words*  
*stops dead in his tracks, immediately stops grinning and at first thinks that he misheard something*  
*takes a while to realizes what Hanna has just said*  
  
Matteo:  
*still stares at the floor*  
Ey, you can’t compare that at all, that’s…  
*looks up and sees David standing in the doorway and freezes*  
*doesn’t know what to say, simply stares at David*  
*doesn’t really notice how Hanna turns around, notices David and murmurs “sorry” before she leaves*  
*swallows hard when he sees David still standing there frozen*  
Hey, that is… was… nothing… just stupid… and besides, it’s long over…  
*doesn’t know what to do as David still hasn’t reacted at all*  
  
David:  
*only hears what Matteo says through a ringing in his ears and somehow notices Hanna leave the kitchen walking past him*  
*on the one hand has a thousand questions but on the other hand doesn’t know what to say*  
*only feels the urge to run away get stronger every second*  
*wonders why Matteo never told him about it and if he still has feelings for Jonas, if he’s maybe only a distraction for Matteo as Jonas obviously or probably isn’t gay, and if Matteo would even be with him if Jonas returned his feelings*  
*somehow can’t really bear those thoughts right now and can’t bear the laughter coming from the living room*  
*automatically takes a step back but keeps an eye on Matteo and simply asks the first thing that comes to mind*  
You’re in love with Jonas?!  
*doesn’t really notice that he isn’t speaking in past tense and that it doesn’t fit together with what he had just heard*  
*turns around like on autopilot to check if his Jacket is on the hook*  
  
Matteo:  
*gapes at him*  
What? NO? I’m not, not at all.  
*takes a step towards him but then stops in the middle of the kitchen*  
*sees David turn around and starts to panic a little*  
Please don’t leave. I swear, it’s over… that was just a stupid crush, it didn’t mean anything and it’s long over…  
*talks quickly and a little chaotic*  
That has nothing to do with you, at all…  
  
David:  
*hears Matteo’s words and wants to believe him, but somehow doesn’t understand anything right now*  
*shakes his head and feels the urge to take another step back but would then stand in the middle of the hallway and draw attention to them from the living room*  
*notices that his voice is shaky and that he has a lump in his throat when he says*  
If that’s the case, why did Hanna ask you if it’s okay for you that she’s back together with Jonas? They have only been back together for a few days… Why didn’t you just tell me about it if it was so stupid… I…  
*hears the others laugh and roar in the living room and only wants to get out of there*  
…I want to get out of here… I can’t go back in there, Matteo… and laugh and drink and act as if nothing was wrong… I… I have to understand all of this first, somehow…  
*sees the panic in Matteo’s face that he might leave and feels another sting because of it*  
*remembers his promise to him and for a moment wishes that he hadn’t promised him that*  
*takes a deep breath and says*  
Okay, I know I said that I wouldn’t just leave again... but this right now is different, okay? I… could we please talk about it later? I can’t do this right now… I… I promise that I’ll come back… or you could come with me and we can talk, but…  
*doesn’t know what else to say, only knows that he can’t stand a party right now*  
*runs a hand through his hair and feels the lump in his throat grow bigger*  
*murmurs with a very husky voice*  
I’m sorry…  
*takes a step into the hallway, grabs his jacket and leaves the apartment*  
  
Matteo:  
*shrugs*  
Because Hanna doesn’t know, either?  
*wants to say much more, wants to justify himself*  
*but sees how done David is and has a suspicion of what comes next*  
*then hears that David wants to leave and starts to panic again*  
David… please…  
*is glad when he gives him a choice*  
*immediately answers*  
I’ll come with you!  
*but then sees David already move and doesn’t know if he heard him*  
*grabs a Jacket and hopes that it’s his, grabs his keys and hurries after David*  
*catches up with him on the staircase*  
*doesn’t say anything at first but simply follows him*  
*never would have thought that his stupid feelings for Jonas would one day catch up with him like this*  
*always thought that nobody would find out, ever*  
  
David:  
*feels Matteo walk next to him on the staircase and knows that it’s okay – that he has to be alone right now but that Matteo is already such a big part of him that it’s okay that he’s with him – that maybe it’s even a good thing*  
*still has Hanna’s words and Matteo’s explanation-attempts in his head but somehow needs more information to really believe him*  
*leaves the building and takes a deep breath in the cool night air*  
*briefly looks at Matteo but doesn’t want to talk to him while walking so he lowers his gaze again and simply starts walking*  
*turns around two corners and eventually passes a construction-site fence behind which he knows is an old playground that had been shut down years ago due to disrepair*  
*walks to the end of the fence because he knows that one of the boards is loose, pushes it aside and lets Matteo pass*  
*follows him and determinedly walks toward an old balancing beam*  
*slowly sits down and looks at Matteo*  
*doesn’t really know what to say and starts to sort his thoughts first*  
*feels a little calmer due to the walk but is still afraid of what Matteo is going to tell him*  
*feels this lump in his throat again and tries to swallow it down*  
*somehow feels pretty unreal right now*  
  
Matteo:  
*walks next to David silently, but his mind is spinning*  
*has no clue how he can explain everything and feels the panic that he will screw it up rise, that David won’t understand him and that he’ll be alone again*  
*goes through the fence and follows David*  
*stops in front of David when he sits down*  
*swallows hard and sorts his thoughts but realizes that it doesn’t really work*  
*so simply starts talking*  
Okay, yes, I had a crush on Jonas… but it was really only a crush… it was just… safe somehow? He was there and I was… I don’t know, it was easy… and I really screwed up because of it but…  
*shrugs slightly*  
Then I met you and I didn’t feel like that anymore… somehow, it didn’t matter anymore, at all… that wasn’t and still isn’t comparable, at all… that doesn’t even come close… you have to believe me! Please…  
*swallows and quickly continues*  
And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about it… but it doesn’t matter to me anymore, so I didn’t even think about it…  
  
David:  
*notices that Matteo has stopped and finds it difficult to look at him while he talks*  
*but listens to him and thinks about his words*  
*tries to somehow imagine it but finds it difficult to think about the fact that Matteo and Jonas have known each other for so long and know each other so well and that there is so much familiarity between them and can’t really imagine him being able to top that*  
*thinks about his words again and with a cracked voice tries to make sure if he understood him correctly*  
This means you had a crush on him until recently? Until you met me?  
*swallows hard against the lump in his throat*  
*then honestly says*  
I don’t get it… you know each other so well. You know him a lot better than me… how can I top that?  
*laughs drily and shrugs*  
I mean, just in theory: If suddenly Jonas had returned your feelings then you’d probably be with him right now… would be a lot easier, wouldn’t it?  
*looks up at him now and digs his fingernails into the rotten wood of the balancing beam*  
*doesn’t really know if he even wants to hear an answer to his question*  
  
Matteo:  
*swallows hard at his question*  
*because somehow he’s right and somehow he isn’t*  
*because he doesn’t think those feelings are comparable, at all*  
*hears him laugh and feels like it hits him right in the heart*  
*only shakes his head at the questions that follow*  
Easier? Nah.  
*shakes his head again*  
I think I had a crush on him /because/ it was obvious that this would never lead to anything… I always knew that… it was safe, you know? I never would have had to come out… It was only… like… looking at cars even though you don’t have a driver’s license…  
*swallows because he finds that the comparison is stupid himself*  
And you are… I mean, okay, I haven’t known you for that long… but I saw you… in the hallway at school and it was… it was as if the world stood still… as if suddenly everything was falling into place…  
*pauses for a second to sort his thoughts*  
And we got to know each other and I’ve never felt like that… with /anyone/, okay? From this moment I only wanted you… I wanted you so much… It isn’t comparable /at all/… as if I’ve moved up a level or something like that…  
*finally manages to sound more determined*  
And I want no one else, okay? I only want you!  
  
David:  
*listens to Matteo and lets his words sink in*  
*tries to understand the thing with “having a crush because it will never lead to anything” and remembers that Matteo wasn’t out back then*  
*from this point of view can even understand him a little but still finds it difficult that it’s Jonas of all people, Jonas, who Matteo knows so well*  
*then hears the thing about the hallway at school and getting to know him and thinks that it’s similar for him, that he’s never felt like this about anyone but Matteo, either*  
*then even has to smile a little and quietly and amusedly asks*  
Moved up a level? Because of me?  
*somehow can’t really believe this*  
*feels his heart starting to race when Matteo says that he wants no one else and closes his eyes for a moment*  
*wants to believe him so badly*  
*wants so badly for Matteo to take him into his arms and doesn’t want these stupid doubts*  
*wants everything to be like it was an hour ago*  
*reluctantly lifts a hand and carefully reaches for Matteo’s hand*  
  
Matteo:  
*immediately nods when David asks*  
Yes, at least one level… maybe even two… I’m not that familiar with the levels of “gay and being in love”*  
*bites down on his bottom lip and nervously runs a hand through his hair*  
*immediately grabs his hand and gets a step closer*  
But I swear to you that there isn’t anything anymore… that was just some stupid crush… I…  
*directly looks at him and determinedly says*  
I /love/ you, okay? All of you and everything that comes with it… I understand if all of that sucks for you now, and if you need time, then I’ll leave… but I don’t want you to think for even a second that I would want anyone else okay?  
  
David:  
*laughs quietly when he talks about moving up a level but then gets serious again*  
*looks up at Matteo when he steps closer and listens to him*  
*feels his heart race again and suddenly thinks that he knows Matteo, that he’s familiar with exactly the Matteo that’s standing here in front of him and that he shouldn’t compare some familiarity-levels*  
*slightly shakes his head when Matteo offers to leave and is suddenly glad that Matteo followed him and that they talked about it immediately*  
*gets up when he hears his last words and takes a step toward Matteo*  
*pus his forehead against Matteo’s and murmurs*  
I don’t want anyone else, either…  
*closes his eyes and puts his head on Matteo’s shoulder*  
*murmurs  
I believe you… really… I just have to get used to the thought… okay? I was just really shocked earlier… that was completely unexpected…  
  
Matteo:  
*feels like a huge load was taken off his mind when David gets up and wants to be close to him*  
*says with a husky voice*  
Good…  
*slowly wraps his arms around David and takes a deep breath*  
*immediately nods*  
Yes, of course… I understand… sorry that I haven’t told you…  
*hugs him a little tighter and quietly says*  
Should we go to your place? Or you’ll go and I’ll come over later if you need some quiet or something…  
*didn’t really see him shake his head earlier*  
  
David:  
*also carefully wraps his arms around Matteo and takes a deep breath breathing in the typical and familiar Matteo-smell*  
*smiles slightly when Matteo hugs him closer and nods at his question*  
*shakes his head at his next question*  
*murmurs*  
I don’t need quiet, I only need you…  
*would like to tell him his thoughts from earlier, when they were walking to the playground, about his flight-instinct and the thing about “being alone together with Matteo” but isn’t really able to put them into words and doesn’t really want to talk right now*  
*instead searches for Matteo’s lips and kisses him*  
  
Matteo:  
*is incredibly relieved and can’t really talk right now*  
*sighs quietly at David’s words*  
*kisses him back and lets his hand slide up to David’s neck*  
*looks at him after the kiss and smiles slightly*  
Are we gonna go on the swings now?  
  
David:  
*returns Matteo’s look after the kiss with a smile*  
*then hears his words and laughs quietly*  
*realizes how good that feels and that some of the heaviness is falling off of him*  
*lets go of Matteo and looks for the swings*  
*looks back at Matteo*  
If they can still bear us and don’t collapse…  
*suddenly and grinningly starts running towards the swings and simply assumes that Matteo follows him*  
*realizes that the movement also does him some good and is the first one to reach the swings*  
*sits down on one of them and grins at Matteo*  
I won!  
  
*spends some more time with Matteo on the abandoned playground before they make their way to his’ and Laura’s apartment – sometimes holding hands, sometimes wrapped around each other*  
*once there, he routinely takes off his binder first while Matteo is in the kitchen making hot chocolate for them*  
*sits down on the kitchen table with Matteo and recalls the evening*  
*feels that it’s still weird to know that Matteo used to have a crush on Jonas but feels that he’s calmer about it and that he believes Matteo, or at least wants to believe him that he really only wants to be with him*  
*at some point asks*  
How does Hanna know? Did Jonas tell her?  
*sees Matteo immediately shake his head: “Jonas doesn’t know…”*  
*draws up his eyebrows and looks at Matteo astonished and questioningly*  
*watches him run a hand through his hair, apparently searching for words, and eventually sigh: “I did something really stupid… a little over a year ago…”*  
*looks at him attentively and waits while he exhales and eventually continues: “Hanna made out with some guy while she was still with Jonas. Apparently it didn’t mean anything, but… Jonas didn’t know about it. Anyways… I didn’t only have a crush on Jonas, he also was my best friend – and somehow I mixed all of that together… I wanted to protect Jonas and I wanted him to know, but for some reason I didn’t want to be the one to tell him, okay? I didn’t want to be the cause for fights… I don’t know, maybe I even wanted Hanna and him to break up, but somehow I also didn’t because Hanna was also a good friend”.*  
*doesn’t really know where he’s getting at but continues to listen to Matteo while sipping his hot chocolate*  
*hears him continue: “Anyways, the guy Hanna made out with also had a girlfriend. She didn’t know about it, either. And so I told her…”*  
*nods when Matteo looks at him*  
*doesn’t know how he would have reacted in a situation like this – there probably would have been a lot of better ways to react but he can see in Matteo’s face that he’s afraid of being judged and therefore doesn’t comment on it*  
*only asks*  
And all of that came out?  
*sees Matteo nod: “Yes – and it was pretty bad. Hanna was bullied pretty badly and she was threatened and called the slut of our year. She even considered changing schools. And Jonas was feeling really awful, as well… I didn’t think that it would get this bad. I thought that they’d either break up because of it or that they’d patch things up and at least Jonas knows about it then”.*  
*nods again and then says*  
Gosh, so that’s the reason they broke up back then?  
*sees Matteo nod again but then shake his head: “At some point Hanna found out that I… well, that I was the one who told the guy’s girlfriend and she confronted me about it. She wanted to know why I did it and somehow I… I don’t know, I guess I tried to talk my way out of it and said something like just think about it. I guess at first she thought that I had a crush on her – at least that’s what I’ve always thought. I apologized to her and she said that she and Jonas probably would have broken up anyway, because it wasn’t going too well”.*  
*sees Matteo run his hand through his hair again and how he’s searching for words again and then quickly explains: “You know, before Jonas got together with Hanna he was with Leonie, and Hanna and Leonie were best friends… When Jonas broke up with Leonie because of Hanna and they got together, Hanna only had Jonas for quite some time – that was before she became friends with Mia and the other girls – and she says that it wasn’t good for either of them… that she herself didn’t really know who she was anymore and so on…”*  
*sees him shrug and nods in understanding*  
*then asks*  
So she wasn’t mad at you because of it?  
*sees Matteo gnaw on his bottom lip for a moment, shrug and explain: “I think she was pretty mad at first… but she’s Hanna. Hanna’s never mad for long. We were okay again relatively quickly. But not as good as before all of this happened. Sometimes I miss our friendship, the way it used to be… and sometimes it’s like it used to be again…”*  
*smiles slightly when Matteo says that he misses his friendship with Hanna and tries to comfort him*  
Maybe you’ll get closer again… now that she’s back together with Jonas…  
*watches Matteo absentmindedly play with the handle of his mug and eventually take a sip*  
*then asks*  
And how did Hanna know that you had a crush on Jonas?  
*sees him shrug again slightly while putting down his mug: “I guess she simply put two and two together… when she learned that you and I are together she probably figured that I didn’t have a crush on her but on Jonas. Don’t know… maybe she knew about it even before that”.*  
*sees him smile a little bitterly and then hears him say: “I didn’t think anyone knew… I didn’t want anyone to…”*  
*meets Matteo’s gaze, which is now intense and hears him say: “It really only was a crush… I never thought about the fact that it could come out. I never really saw Jonas and me together, you know? I mean he had a girlfriend, he was my best friend… it was safe to crush on him, because the chance of it being more one day was so slim…”*  
*tries to understand it and reluctantly nods because he knows that it’s important for Matteo that he understands, but probably has to think about it for some time to really understand it*  
*then asks*  
And Jonas still doesn’t know about it?  
*sees Matteo shake his head: “No. He neither knows that I had a crush on him nor that I was the one who ruined their relationship… well, that I was the one who made sure that it came out”.*  
*nods again and thinks about the fact that it’s somehow a bummer that his best friend doesn’t know about it – at least that it was Matteo who made sure that the thing with Hanna making out with someone got out*  
*eventually asks*  
And what if it does come out one day?  
*sees Matteo grimace and shrug: “The thing with the crush wouldn’t be bad, I think. That’s in the past… the other thing… I don’t know…”*  
*nods again and reaches over the table to take Matteo’s hand*  
*squeezes it slightly and smiles a little*  
*murmurs*  
Thanks for telling me…  
*really likes it when Matteo tells him more about himself – likes listening to him – and thinks that it’s a real proof of trust when Matteo opens up to him and that they get to know each other more and more because of conversations like this*  
*sees Matteo only smile and take another sip of hot chocolate*  
  
*suddenly hears the front door open and automatically checks the time*  
*realizes that it's already a little after 2 am and briefly feels bad for completely forgetting Laura once again*  
*sees her walk in with a grin and hears her say: “I should have figured that you’d be here… I’ll just stop to complain about the fact that I don’t get informed when you two disappear. At least now you disappear together…”*  
*grimaces apologetically*  
Sorry…  
*sees his sister shrug it off: “Oh, don’t worry… is everything okay with you two”?*  
*briefly exchanges a look with Matteo, smiles and says*  
Yes, everything okay!  
*sees his sister nod and hears Matteo say: “Umm… there’s still some hot chocolate in the pot if you want some”!*  
*sees Laura grin and grab a mug: “At least there’s one thing you think of! Thanks”!*  
*for a few minutes the three of them sit in the kitchen and talk. Laura tells them about the party and that it was fun and nice after they left and that she really likes Matteo’s friends*  
*is glad to hear that it probably didn’t seem weird to anyone but Hanna that he and Matteo suddenly disappeared*  
  
*a little later he and Matteo are lying in bed – Matteo’s arm wrapped around him and his head on Matteo’s shoulder while he absentmindedly strokes over Matteo’s chest*  
*has to think about the fact again that it was good that he and Matteo were able to immediately clear everything up; how good it was that Matteo came with him and how good it was that this time he let him come with him instead of also running away from Matteo*  
*at some point murmurs*  
It was good that you came with me…  
*only then realizes that he was talking without context and can’t really blame Matteo for not knowing what he is talking about*  
*hears him quietly ask: “Huh”?*  
*searches for words to somehow explain it while also searching for Matteo’s hand on his chest*  
*entwines their fingers and says*  
Earlier… when I… had to get out of there.  
*is briefly distracted by Matteo running a hand through his hair but then continues*  
I don’t know if this urge to run away when… something like this happens… will ever go away… but I realized today that… it’s not a bad thing if you come with me. That it’s even a good thing.  
*feels Matteo press a quick kiss to his forehead and hears him whisper: “Well that’s good…”*  
*nods and continues*  
I have to be alone in situations like this, but somehow… you are already such a big part of me that it’s a good thing when you come with me… and if I’m alone with you… I’m somehow not alone, at all…  
*has to laugh a little because his sentences sounds somewhat scattered and asks*  
Does that make any sense?  
*feels Matteo also laugh quietly and shrug his shoulders*  
*then remembers something and quietly adds*  
So… in case of a natural catastrophe I’d still run away and still hide and wait… but I’d definitely take you with me… to not be alone…  
  
  



	7. June 9, 2019 - Everything Okay? Everything Okay!

**Sunday, 9:53 am:**

_  
WhatsApp Matteo/Hanna:_

Hanna, 9:53 am:  
Hey, everything okay with you two? You were gone all of a sudden yesterday. Sorry that David heard that…

Matteo, 10:01 am:  
Yes, everything okay. We could clear everything up… and it’s not your fault, I should have told him sooner… You haven’t told Jonas about it, right?

Hanna, 10:03 am:  
Puh, thank God! Yes, maybe… but it’s old news anyways, so he didn’t really have to know.  
Jonas doesn’t know anything… neither that you told Jule back then, nor why you did it.

Matteo, 10:05 am:  
He didn’t quite see it like that… okay, well. He really doesn’t have to… everything’s good now, right?

Hanna, 10:06 am:  
Yes, everything’s good now.  
Listen, do we maybe want to have a barbecue next Saturday on my terrace? The four of us? If the weather stays this great?

Matteo, 10:07 am:  
Sounds good! But I’ll ask David… maybe he doesn’t want to see Jonas right now… don’t know… I’ll text you when I know, ok?

Hanna, 10:08 am:  
Yes, do that! And tell him hi from me!

Matteo, 10:09 am:  
He’s in the shower right now, I’ll talk to him once he’s finished. Tell Jonas hi…

Matteo, 10:59 am:  
David also says hi, we’ll be there next weekend. Should we bring anything?

Hanna, 11:10 am:  
Jonas says thanks and says hi back. And thank David for saying hi ;-D  
Awesome that you’ll come! I’m looking forward to it! Maybe you could bring a salad? We’ll buy meat and Papa has enough beverages in the basement.

Matteo, 11:15 am:  
We can manage a salad! And… thanks, Hanna… (sends the blushing emoji)

Hanna, 11:15 am:  
:-*


	8. June 10, 2019 (1) - Fate is what you do with it

**Monday, 10:06 am:**  
  
David:  
*has woken up before Matteo again and contentedly watches him sleep for a while*  
*at some point feels his full bladder and is also craving some coffee, so he quietly gets up to go to the bathroom and then the kitchen to make some coffee*  
*a few days ago he actually remembered that Matteo and him would soon have been together for a month when he went through his sketchbook and found the sketches from May 10th and had redrawn one of the sketches for Matteo, but isn't really aware of the fact that today's June 10th*  
*turns on the coffee maker and while he waits for it to finish he cleans up some of yesterday's dishes and starts to wash them*  
*has just finished the dishes when the coffee is ready*  
*thinks that the dishes can dry by themselves and leaves them on the sink*  
*fills the coffee in a thermos, grabs two mugs from the cupboard and goes back to his room*  
*puts everything on the nightstand when he notices that Matteo is still asleep and crawls back into bed to join him*  
*softly hugs him from behind and snuggles closer hoping that Matteo might wake up from it*  
*starts kissing his neck*  
  
Matteo:  
*is sound asleep*  
*is still a little beat from all the excitement over the weekend and therefore enjoys his sleep*  
*then feels David attach himself from behind and is only half asleep because of it*  
*smiles slightly when he feels his lips but leaves his eyes closed for a little while longer to enjoy it*  
*eventually turns his head around and looks at him*  
*smiles*  
*says in a still sleepy voice*  
Morning... you smell good...  
  
David:  
*stops caressing his neck when Matteo wakes up and turns his head around to look at him*  
*loosens his hug a little so that Matteo can turn around to him properly*  
*smiles when Matteo's voice still sounds sleepy and quietly says*  
Morning...  
*gets a little sheepish at his words and murmurs*  
I've already been to the bathroom...  
*tenderly kisses him on his mouth and mumbles into the kiss*  
...and I made coffee...  
  
Matteo:  
*hums slightly when David says that he has already been to the bathroom*  
*wraps an arm around him when he kisses him*  
You're simply too good for me...  
*kisses him again and smiles into the kiss*  
*while he kisses him remembers what day it is*  
*is pretty sure that David doesn't know*  
*doesn't care*  
*kisses him a little more and pulls David even closer*  
*murmurs*  
What do you wanna do today? Want to do something or stay in bed?  
  
David:  
*protests when Matteo says that he's too good for him and softly pulls his hair where his hand is buried*  
*murmurs decisively*  
Don't say that!  
*kisses him again and runs his hand through his hair*  
*gets pulled closer by Matteo and sneaks his arm under Matteo's head to be closer to him and to lie more comfortably*  
*hears Matteo's question and puts his head back on the pillow to think*  
*kisses his forehead again and says*  
Hmmm... don't know... let's have coffee first... and then...  
*reaches for Matteo's hand on his chest and entwines their fingers*  
*shrugs slightly*  
A whole day in bed would be really nice...  
*grins slightly*  
...but sometimes I feel guilty when we're so lazy... we could also go out... to the park or so... or do something with the others...  
*looks down at him and asks*  
What would you like to do?  
  
Matteo:  
*jerks his head a little so that he can take up his favorite position on David's shoulder by his neck*  
Yes, first coffee as always...  
*lightly runs his thumb over David's hand when he takes his hand*  
*nods with a grin when he says that a whole day in bed would be really nice*  
Hmmmm...  
*can't really relate to the thing about feeling guilty but knows that David is generally more active than him*  
Noo... let's not do anything with the others... only you and me today... and you know me...  
*grins up at him slightly*  
I don't feel guilty when I’m lazy... but we can go out if you've got ants in your pants... however you want to celebrate.  
*grins slightly to himself and is curious if David catches on to what he's saying*  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo says that he doesn't want to do anything with the others today and only wants to spend the day with him*  
*wouldn't have known how to face Jonas and Hanna anyways*  
*laughs quietly when he says that he can be lazy without feeling guilty and thinks that turning off his guilt about it would also do him good sometimes because he actually likes being lazy quite a lot*  
*thinks about what they could do outside today and doesn't fully hear Matteo's last part of the sentence*  
*but then freezes and wonders what it is that he forgot about this time*  
*throws his head back and groans slightly*  
Celebrate?!  
*lets go of Matteo's hand and reaches for his phone on the nightstand to check the date*  
*sees that it's June 10th and immediately knows that it's their one-month-anniversary*  
*quickly puts the phone down, grabs Matteo's hand and puts it on his face*  
*murmurs*  
That has to stay there until I'm no longer ashamed of forgetting about our anniversary...  
*is really quite embarrassed and ashamed about it right now*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins even more when David asks*  
*then sees him looking at his phone*  
*laughs out loud when he grabs his hand and puts it on his face*  
*but then disagrees when he hears his words*  
Nonsense!  
*rolls onto his stomach so that he can look at him and moves his hand to tenderly put it on his cheek*  
You just didn't know what date it was today...  
*kisses him slightly*  
Usually even the date doesn't help you... so I feel honored...  
*looks at him and smiles*  
So don't be ashamed, okay?  
  
David:  
*tries to push Matteo's hand back over his face when he puts it on his cheek but eventually gives up when Matteo kisses him*  
*has to laugh quietly when Matteo says that he feels honored and murmurs*  
You’re satisfied with very small things...  
*looks at Matteo and sees him smile and is even more embarrassed when he says that he shouldn't be ashamed*  
*closes his eyes, groans quietly and says*  
I'm a bad boyfriend!  
*looks at him again and runs a hand through his hair*  
You deserve someone who remembers such days and who can plan a nice day and who doesn't only bring you coffee, but who brings you breakfast to bed!  
*grins slightly and gets ready to get up*  
Although... I might manage some breakfast... could you maybe fall back asleep for a moment?  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head*  
Not at all... you aren’t a small thing…  
*lightly hits him when he says that he’s a bad boyfriend*  
Would you stop with that!  
*but then smiles when he runs a hand through his hair*  
*shakes his head again*  
Nonsense! I'm quite glad that you can’t remember stuff like that... at least there’s one thing I can do that you can't.  
*grins*  
*pulls him back when he tries to get up*  
Would you stop with that nonsense? You can pour me some coffee and stay here in bed with me!  
  
David:  
*grimaces when Matteo hits him and theatrically says*  
Ouch!  
*laughs quietly when Matteo pulls him back, sighs, leans back and says*  
Okay, I'll stop!  
*but then sits up again and scoots to the edge of the bed when Matteo demands coffee*  
*grins*  
I can manage coffee and staying in bed...  
*pours them coffee and says*  
Besides, you can cook and I can't! You can be lazy without feeling guilty about it! And you're better at being there for others than I am... and you're better at Flunkyball...  
*hands him the mug with his coffee and grins slightly*  
Maybe I really should get a calendar... otherwise you'll be better at a lot more than I am...  
*crawls back on the bed with his coffee, leans against the wall and stretches out his legs*  
  
Matteo:  
*sits up a little when David starts to pour coffee and leans against the wall*  
*laughs slightly when he lists what else he can do*  
I’m not better at Flunkyball, you can throw better, it’s only that I can drink faster…  
*takes the mug from him and at first only holds it*  
*puts his leg over David’s when he sits down next to him*  
And besides it’s stupid… to list these things… I’ll always think you’re greater than I am, get used to it.  
*grins at him slightly and takes his first careful sip of coffee*  
  
David:  
*laughs*  
But who can drink the fastest is what matters during this game…  
*smiles when Matteo puts his leg over his’ and briefly looks over at him before blowing into his coffee*  
*nods when he says that listing these things is stupid and hums in agreement*  
*has to grin and murmurs at his next words*  
For whatever reason…  
*thinks that he feels similar and that he’ll always think that Matteo’s greater than himself*  
*also takes a sip of coffee when he remembers the drawing he made for Matteo*  
*puts his coffee down on the nightstand and pulls his legs out from under Matteo’s*  
Hang on…  
*gets up and goes over to the desk*  
*ruffles around for a second and eventually finds the rolled-up drawing*  
*hops back on the bed with the drawing and pulls Matteo’s leg back over his before handing him the roll*  
*the painting depicts both of them standing in the empty pool hugging each other tightly*  
*in the lower corner is the date, May 10, 2019 as well as David’s signature and a heart*  
*in the background there’s the slightly faded line of “breathing under water”*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
Well, because you’re great…  
*looks a little surprised when David gets up*  
*watches him and the roll he comes back with*  
*quickly puts down his coffee before David hands him the roll*  
*unrolls it and feels his heart skip a beat before it continues beating twice as fast as before*  
Wow… this is… awesome!  
*swallows hard before quickly leaning over and kissing him*  
I’ll get a frame and then I’ll put it up over the bed.  
*beams at him and then looks back at the painting*  
Compared to this my present sucks…  
*puts the painting down on the bed and leans down to pull a small box out from under the bed*  
*hands it to David with a slightly sheepish grin*  
The idea’s quite similar, I’m just not as talented…  
*there’s a button in the small box looking something like this*  
  


_[translation: “fate is what you do with it”]_  
  
David:  
*has picked up his coffee again after he handed Matteo the painting and is now taking a sip*  
*smiles at Matteo’s words an into the kiss that he receives*  
*is happy that Matteo likes it because it was a lot of fun for him to draw it and to remember that evening*  
*laughs quietly when Matteo says that he wants to get a frame for it but then gets serious again when Matteo mentions his present for him*  
*shakes his head*  
You don’t have to give me any presents…  
*points at the drawing*  
I only made this because… I thought it would be nice to not only have this memory in my sketchbook… that’s nothing… not much…  
*is already embarrassed because he feels like Matteo really planned this and he only remembered it by accident*  
*puts his coffee down when Matteo reaches for something and then accepts the little box*  
*murmurs a quiet “thanks” even before opening the box*  
*slowly opens it and has to smile automatically when he sees the button with his own picture from Instagram*  
*but then notices that there’s more and takes the button out to look at it more closely*  
*reads the words and gets a small lump in his throat when he remembers their conversation about fate and how much his own opinion on that topic has changed since then*  
*swallows to somehow get rid of the lump and pulls Matteo toward him*  
*kisses him briefly, wraps his arms around him and hides his face in his neck*  
*murmurs*  
Thank you!  
*has to smile into his neck and adds*  
I think we did something pretty cool with it…  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head when David plays the painting down*  
Oh man, you’re really being impossible today…  
*then watches him a little insecurely when he opens the box*  
*doesn’t know if he’ll like the line about fate and if it was okay for him to use his post*  
*is glad when David seems to like it and kisses him happily*  
*wraps his arm around him and kisses his head*  
*smiles slightly*  
You’re welcome…  
*laughs a little and nods*  
I think so, too…  
*leans back again and simply pulls David with him*  
*thinks a little more and pushes his thoughts around and then quietly says*  
You know…when I saw you for the first time, when you only walked past me… that was somehow… there already was something… and until then I always thought that this would only happen in movies or so… but somehow… that was fate… but everything that came afterwards… and I really mean everything, that was us, that was real and wild and hurt and was wonderful and simply… everything. So yes, I think we did something absolutely cool with it.  
  
David:  
*holds onto the button when Matteo leans back and pulls him with him*  
*leans against him and happily looks at the button again before wrapping an arm around Matteo*  
*listens to him and has to smile because he didn’t know that Matteo also remembers their first run-in in the hallway*  
*finds it strange to hear that Matteo also felt like the moment was somehow special and not like any other because so far, he had always thought that he’d only persuaded himself to think that*  
*grins slightly when he says that this was fate*  
*still doesn’t really like the thought of fate but gets closer to doing so whenever it’s about Matteo and thinks that Matteo might be right while he keeps listening to him*  
*beams at his description even when he gets a small lump in his throat again when he thinks about everything they have been through*  
*at the end nods and squeezes Matteo to him*  
*thinks about his words for a while and eventually quietly says*  
Maybe I was a little too hard on fate… I always thought that it wanted to take something from me… my free will and my own decisions… but… maybe all this time it didn’t have any ill-intend, after all… the thing with us… that was really only us and in the end it all made sense… as if fate had already known exactly where this would lead to even back then in the hallway at school…  
*grins slightly and absentmindedly runs a hand over Matteo’s chest and stomach*  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to David and has to smile automatically*  
I think it’s a mix… that fate gives you a nudge but if you go or how you go that’s still your decision…  
*kisses his hair again and squeezes him slightly*  
*thinks about their first meeting, about everything that came afterwards, about his attempts to get into contact with him, to spend some time with him and eventually their first kiss*  
*nudges him slightly*  
Can I ask you something?  
*sees him nod and continues*  
If you actually didn’t want to get to know anyone… didn’t want all of this… why did you run away with me? At Abdi’s birthday? You could have said no…  
  
David:  
*nods slightly when Matteo talks about it probably being a mixture of fate and own decisions and hums in agreement*  
*enjoys being close to Matteo and comfortably being in bed and that after the turbulences on the weekend it’s now calm and safe and nice again between them*  
*looks up at Matteo when he nudges him, smiles and nods*  
*laughs quietly at his question and thinks for a moment*  
Hmmm… eventually there was a point when it came to you where I simply thought “screw this!... Just let it happen”… even after such a short time I wanted to get to know you so badly that somehow nothing else mattered…  
*absentmindedly runs a hand along Matteo’s side and remembers*  
And because I had been thinking about the neon party all week long… and that we almost kissed and somehow…  
*laughs quietly*  
…I think I somehow wanted to finish it… the kiss. I was curious if we’d actually go through with it…  
*briefly kisses his chest and says a little more serious*  
And when I saw you at Abdi’s party I remembered that you said that everything was fucking you up at the moment…  
*hesitates briefly and adds a little quieter*  
I was concerned… or worried… I don’t know… I wanted you to be okay.  
*grins slightly*  
I think if you’d asked me if I wanted to move to another country with you, I’d probably have agreed…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs quietly when David says “screw it”*  
Screw it is good, we should have said that more often…  
*continues to listen to him and absentmindedly runs a hand up and down David’s arm*  
*laughs again when he says that he was curious*  
*murmurs*  
I was also curious…  
*then grimaces slightly*  
*wasn’t really in the best mood during Abdi’s party or rather during the preparations*  
*laughs slightly*  
You wanted me to be okay? And then you thought a derelict building with an empty pool would be exactly the right environment?  
*laughs slightly and then softly says*  
Loon…  
*smiles at his last words*  
If only I’d known…  
*looks down at him and kisses his forehead*  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo mentions the derelict building and slightly pinches him in his side*  
Hey, at least it took your mind off things…  
*shrugs slightly*  
Besides… I really did want to go there for some time… I had seen pictures of it online and had been on the property a few times but I never dared to go into the building… at least not on my own…  
*grins again*  
So I thought… a Matteo as a protective shield would probably come in handy…  
*smiles when Matteo kisses his forehead, looks up at him, puts a hand to his cheek to pull him down to get a proper kiss*  
*sighs quietly and stretches a little*  
Hmmm… where would we have moved to if you’d known it?  
*grins slightly and turns away from Matteo for a moment to grab his coffee from the nightstand*  
*takes a sip, puts the mug down on Matteo’s chest and puts his head back on his shoulder*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks at him fake-aghast*  
You only used me? As a protective shield? I’m shocked!  
*but then smiles into the kiss*  
*hums slightly at his question*  
Well, probably to Detroit… after all, I have to impress you…  
*holds David’s mug with his free hand and then also takes a sip*  
Or maybe to Amsterdam as a start… or some city with a port and then we’ll stowaway on some boat…  
*grins slightly and shakes his head*  
Actually, it doesn’t matter… an empty pool was also pretty exciting…  
  
David:  
*laughs quietly when Matteo acts aghast and again when he mentions Detroit*  
*murmurs*  
One day we’ll surely get there…  
*grins about Amsterdam*  
At least that would be more realistic than Detroit…  
*takes the mug back from Matteo and also takes a sip*  
*nods about the pool and then smiles slightly*  
By the way, there are more abandoned pools in Berlin… maybe we should check them out one day…  
*pushes one leg between Matteo’s and is silent for a moment before asking*  
And what about you? Why did you ask me if I wanted to run away? Only to get away from Sara and Leonie? Or did you also think a little bit about an interrupted kiss?  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly*  
Yes, one day…  
*listens to him*  
Really? Is this going to be our thing? Exploring abandoned pools?  
*moves his leg a little more against David’s*  
*laughs slightly at his question*  
No way, I never thought about you… never…  
*shakes his head and squeezes him a little tighter*  
It was also a total coincidence that I got into a fight with Sara as soon as you showed up…  
*but then swallows and is quiet for a moment*  
From the moment we first talked to each other I basically constantly tried to spend time with you… especially after the neon party… but… you didn’t answer or were taciturn… but I think before Abdi’s party… I also felt a little like “screw it”… I did know how shitty it is of me to just take off…  
  
David:  
*laughs and nods at the thing with the pools*  
Why not!? Or is that too much exercise for you?  
*grins*  
I can do research beforehand to find out how many fences we have to climb…  
*pffs at Matteo’s words and tries to fake sulkily moving away from him but Matteo squeezes him closer against him*  
*plays along and says*  
Yes, somehow I seem to have this aura that everybody starts to fight with their girlfriends as soon as I show up…  
*grins but is silent when Matteo doesn’t say anything*  
*empties his coffee and briefly leans over to put it back on the nightstand before taking his position on Matteo’s shoulder again and wrapping an arm around him*  
*listens to Matteo and nods at his last words*  
*quietly says*  
True – that wasn’t the nicest thing to do…  
*smiles slightly and adds*  
But I’m glad that we both didn’t care in that moment…  
*searches for Matteo’s hand and entwines their fingers*  
*strokes his thumb over his hand a little and then pulls Matteo’s hand to his mouth to kiss it before he sighs and says*  
I’m sorry that I was so taciturn… or didn’t answer… whenever we didn’t see each other… I somehow only had thoughts and doubts and fears… and my mind always told me to keep you at a distance… and whenever we saw each other… then my mind was usually quiet and everything was somehow… good.  
  
Matteo:  
*pffs a little but then grins*  
No, no, I’ll manage…  
*then laughs slightly*  
Oh, really, that happens to other people as well? Who else has started to fight with their girlfriend because you showed up?  
*moves his arm when David moves but immediately pulls David back to him*  
*slightly nudges his hair with his nose*  
*shakes his head slightly*  
No it wasn’t… but it doesn’t matter…  
*plays with David’s fingers until he pulls his hand to his mouth*  
*smiles slightly at the kiss*  
*then listens to him and gets more serious as well*  
*would like to tell him that it wasn’t so bad, that he understands*  
*and even though it’s true that he understands he also remembers too well how much he himself has doubted things during this time, how he replayed their meetings in his head over and over to find out if he had said anything stupid or somehow did something wrong*  
*carefully says*  
It… wasn’t so easy… I always thought that I somehow screwed up… but, you know… somebody once said – I think it was Jonas, or Hans? Well, doesn’t matter, anyways he said whenever love is created it always hurts a little in the beginning… and even though that might be a little pathetic there’s also some truth to it…  
  
David:  
*grins and waves a dismissive hand to the thing with the aura*  
Oh, you don’t know any of them*  
*nods hesitantly when Matteo says that the situation back then wasn’t really easy*  
*on the one hand thinks it’s great that he’s so honest about it and doesn’t downplay it saying that it wasn’t that bad but on the other hand realizes how much he had hurt Matteo because of his fear*  
*smiles slightly at Matteo’s quote and murmurs*  
Sounds more like Hans than Jonas…  
*sighs quietly and shrugs before answering*  
I don’t know. It shouldn’t hurt in my romantic, sappy imagination… everything should be perfect there, shouldn’t it?  
*squeezes Matteo a little closer without letting go of his hand*  
*hesitantly says*  
I know, now in hindsight it doesn’t help you but… you didn’t screw up anything. I think what you did was exactly the right thing… so that I…  
*grimaces slightly because he can’t really explain it well and stops before he starts again*  
Even back then you showed me that you care about me – no matter how stupid I acted… you kept trying to stay in contact…  
*briefly presses his lips together, looks up at him and says*  
I’m sorry that I’ve made things so difficult for you… but… I’m really grateful that you were so persistent…  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly*  
True… probably it was Hans…  
*smiles slightly when he talks about his sappy imagination and squeezes his hand a little*  
It is now, isn’t it?  
*looks down at him while he talks and once again feels the words go directly to his heart, somehow as if they were a coat in which he can wrap himself up in*  
*smiles honestly when he looks up at him*  
I’m sorry that society is so crappy that we still have to come out… and be afraid of the reactions…  
*strokes his hand over David’s arm and smiles*  
Somehow it’s strange that you thank me for that… I… I wasn’t really thinking about it… or maybe I did, but not in a way that I thought you’d thank me in the end…  
*grimaces because he can’t really explain his thoughts*  
It wasn’t really planned as a big deed or something like that… you don’t owe it to me to thank me… I already got the best reward there is…  
*grins slightly*  
  
David:  
*smiles slightly when he apologizes for society and shrugs*  
There are all kinds of societies… in Lychen society really sucked… but here… I think it’s more the experiences that you’ve made that cause you to be afraid…  
*laughs quietly while Matteo philosophizes about gratitude and stretches a little to kiss his chin, to cover up his embarrassment when Matteo refers to him as the best reward*  
Maybe it was special exactly because you weren’t expecting me to thank you…  
*shuffles a little upward to kiss him more comfortably and murmurs*  
For me it was a big deed…  
*runs a hand through his hair and kisses him again*  
*grins slightly*  
Can we stop being sappy now and make out instead?  
  
Matteo:  
*shrugs*  
*thinks that at first he didn’t want to come out here and to him either*  
*but drops it for now*  
*smiles when David says that it was special because he wasn’t expecting him to thank him*  
*puts his hand in David’s hair and plays with a few strands*  
*kisses him back and grins*  
That’s the main thing…  
*laughs at his question and nods enthusiastically*  
Absolutely!  
*kisses him and lets go of his hand to wrap his other arm around him as well*  
*leaves the other one in his hair while he deepens the kiss*  
  
David:  
*grins into the kiss when Matteo agrees to making out but then gets serious again and deepens the kiss*  
*sighs quietly when Matteo wraps his arm around him and scoots even closer to him so that he’s lying half on top of him*  
*tenderly runs a hand over his neck, his cheek, his temple and through his hair and after a moment forgets everything else around him – there’s only Matteo and being close to him and the incredible feeling of happiness that they really have been together for an entire month*


	9. June 10, 2019 (2) - To all the anniversaries and the petrified killer-hippopotamus

**Monday, 4:24 pm:**  
  
Matteo:  
*has spent the entire morning in bed with David*  
*making out, more than making out and simply cuddling and talking*  
*after David's stomach had growled for the third time he said that he'll go make something to eat under the condition that David stay in bed and be lazy*  
*came back half an hour later with a light lunch on a tray*  
*they ate and watched a series and made out some more*  
*now it's almost 4:30 and Matteo notices David get antsy*  
*laughs and nudges him when he squirms around again*  
Okay, okay... we can get up if you want to... look up one of those old pools, then we'll take a tour.  
  
David:  
*has really enjoyed the morning with Matteo and has managed to stay in bed for quite a long time without feeling bad about it*  
*doesn't really feel bad, yet, but feels the urge to move and immediately sits up when Matteo suggests they could go out*  
*beams*  
Really? Do you still want to?  
*takes his phone from the nightstand and says*  
I've wanted to go to the Wernerbad for quite some time... but it's quite the distance by bike... but if it's too far for you we could also take the train...  
*quickly looks up a few photos and gives his phone to Matteo*  
(https://www.abandonedberlin.com/2014/08/wernerbad-freibad-swimming-pool-hippo-kaulsdorf-hippo.html#more)  
*gets up and searches for some clothes*  
Maybe we could stop on the way and get one or two beers to celebrate...  
*smiles and looks at Matteo scrutinizingly to see if he really wants to*  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles when David is so excited*  
*sits up slowly*  
*only nods with a grin when he asks if he really wants to*  
*only draws up his eyebrows a little when he says that it's quite the distance away*  
Well, it's almost 4:30, how far is "quite the distance"?  
*takes the phone and looks at it*  
Looks cool... and outdoors...  
*puts David's phone on the bed and gets up to also look for clothes*  
Beer always sounds good...  
*found a shirt, one of David’s, and briefly holds it to his nose to sniff it*  
*shrugs one shoulder and puts it on*  
  
David:  
*laughs quietly when Matteo asks how far quite the distance is and shrugs*  
Depends on how fit you are... I guess somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes...  
*smiles and nods when Matteo says that it looks cool*  
I think the figurines are quite nice... allegedly if it rains a lot the water still collects in the pool... but I guess considering the temperature during the last few days there shouldn't be much in it...  
*in the meantime has found a shirt he feels like wearing, puts it on the bed and wavers between shorts or long pants*  
*usually doesn’t like to wear shorts outside, but then figures that he'll only be with Matteo and that hopefully they won't run into too many people and that the temperature definitely calls for shorts and therefore puts them on*  
*briefly looks at Matteo, who sniffs one of his shirts and then puts it on, and laughs*  
You can also take a clean one out of the wardrobe...  
*grabs the new button from the nightstand and fastens it to his backpack with a smile*  
*takes his binder and the shirt he has chosen and murmurs in Matteo's direction*  
I'll just be in the bathroom...  
*still doesn’t like putting on the binder in front of Matteo*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slowly*  
That means an hour...  
*laughs slightly*  
*then shrugs*  
But we can do it however you want...  
*laughs and shrugs when David talks about the shirt*  
That one's still okay...  
*doesn't mention that it smells like David and that's why he doesn't want a clean one*  
*grins when David fastens the button to his backpack*  
*nods when David says that he'll be in the bathroom*  
I'll go pack a bottle of water and a package of cookies...  
*sees David disappear and then goes to his wardrobe to take out clean pants*  
*gets a bottle of water and cookies, probably Laura's, and puts them in his backpack*  
  
David:  
*quickly puts on his binder and shirt in the bathroom and smiles when he sees Matteo already waiting for him in the hallway when he leaves the bathroom*  
*loosely puts his arms around his hip and kisses him briefly*  
*murmurs*  
I'm happy...  
*grins slightly and bumps Matteo's head before slipping his shoes on*  
Let's go?  
*sees Matteo nod and leaves the house with him to unlock their bikes downstairs*  
*it really takes them 45 minutes – but they probably would have managed in 40 if they hadn't stopped to buy beer and water on the way as Matteo had already emptied half of the water on the way*  
*locks up his bike on the fence once they arrive and takes a look around*  
*grins slightly at Matteo and tilts his head*  
Well, at least the fence isn't as high as the one to our pool...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs*  
1-0 for Werner... then show me what you got...  
*grins when David jumps over the fence with complete ease*  
*has to exert himself a little more but he's also the one with the backpack and manages quite well in the end*  
Looks quite huge... on the pictures it looked somehow smaller...  
*looks around and then at David*  
Which way?  
  
David:  
*climbs over the fence and waits for Matteo on the other side*  
*has a bit of a deja vu and has to smile slightly*  
*only looks around once Matteo is with him and nods in agreement*  
*murmurs*  
Pretty overgrown...  
*returns Matteo's look and quietly laughs at his question*  
No idea... straight ahead?  
*shrugs and simply starts walking*  
*almost automatically reaches for Matteo's hand when he's walking next to him*  
*after a few meters and some bushes really discovers the pool and the slide which they saw on the pictures*  
*stops at the edge of the pool and first looks down and then up at Matteo*  
*whistles briefly and then grins*  
No echo here... 1-1 I'd say...  
  
Matteo:  
*nods and laughs when David suggests that they go straight ahead*  
*reaches for David's hand at the same time he does and smiles*  
*laughs when David whistles and once again thinks that he's pretty wonderful*  
*looks down into the pool and then at David*  
1-2 there's water in here... boring...  
*grins and then points at the slide*  
Wanna have a beer up there?  
  
David:  
*laughs at Matteo's words*  
A pool with water! That's really outrageous!  
*follows Matteo's gaze to the slide and smiles*  
Okay...  
*goes over to the slide with him and lets him climb up first*  
*laughs quietly and while he watches him asks*  
Is there even enough space for the two of us up there?!  
*but simply climbs up after him and waits on the top of the ladder until Matteo has sat down properly*  
  


  
Matteo:  
*climbs up the slide*  
Sure!  
*sits down so that he can lean his back against one of the walls and the actual slide is to his left*  
*has the backpack on his lap and waits for David to sit down next to him*  
*takes out two bottles of beer and a lighter*  
*opens the first one, hands it to David and opens one for himself*  
*grins at him when they clink bottles*  
To us!  
  
David:  
*eyes the top of the slide and sees that there is enough space for the two of them*  
*sits down next to Matteo and also leans against the slide's metal wall*  
*takes the beer from Matteo, murmurs "thanks" and waits for Matteo to open his beer*  
*looks at him, smiles and clinks bottles with him*  
*nods and says*  
...and to abandoned pools and the next anniversaries...  
*takes a sip and leans his head against the wall*  
*closes his eyes for a moment and smiles to himself*  
*briefly remembers that a month ago tomorrow is the first time that they slept together and has to grin slightly because that day is really easy to remember*  
*then wonders if they really will celebrate many more monthly anniversaries and realizes with a beating heart how much he wants this*  
*takes another sip*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods at David's addition*  
To all the anniversaries...  
*takes a sip*  
*turns his head and sees that David has closed his eyes*  
*sees him smile and wonders what he's thinking about*  
*would actually like to ask him but then somehow doesn't want to ruin the moment and rather watches him for a little while longer*  
*thinks that he looks beautiful and once again can't believe how lucky he is*  
*was just about to lean over and kiss him when David takes another sip*  
*has to laugh quietly and waits until he's finished*  
*sees him look at him questioningly and only shrugs*  
*then leans forward and kisses him briefly*  
*leans back again, takes a sip and turns his head to him*  
*asks him, after all*  
So? What are you thinking about?  
  
David:  
*hears Matteo laugh quietly when he drinks and looks at him questioningly after putting down the bottle*  
*but "only" gets a kiss and grins briefly*  
*then watches him as he drinks and sometimes still finds it unbelievable that they have really made it and that Matteo really wants him*  
*feels so comfortable and secure with him and smiles slightly when Matteo looks at him again*  
*hears his question and briefly lowers his head in embarrassment and picks at the label of his bottle*  
*doesn't know if it's way too soon to tell him that he wants more anniversaries*  
*vaguely remembers that they had been talking about something similar at the lake when they were drunk, but now they're sober and he doesn't know how serious Matteo had been about it at the lake the other day and if he even remembers*  
*looks at him again, opens his mouth, laughs quietly, closes it again and looks away again*  
*shrugs a little and without looking at him quietly says*  
I was thinking about the fact... that I want more of this... more anniversaries... with you...  
*twists the bottle around in his hands a little nervously*  
  
Matteo:  
*immediately notices that David is embarrassed and gets even more curious about what he had been thinking*  
*laughs slightly when David opens his mouth but doesn't say anything*  
*then hears his answer and feels his heartbeat speed up*  
*holds his beer and with his free hand reaches over to put it on David's cheek so that he's looking at him*  
Hey... hey...  
*doesn't only smile but practically beams at him*  
And why exactly is that a bad thing?  
*grins at him a little wickedly and pulls him a little closer*  
I want all the anniversaries with you, ok? And I'm already really looking forward to tomorrow's anniversary...  
*wiggles his eyebrows*  
...and I'm looking forward to all the anniversaries that we'll add in the future!  
  
David:  
*feels Matteo's hand on his cheek and looks at him*  
*has to smile when he sees him beam like this*  
*shrugs at his question and thinks for a moment*  
I don't know... I'm so sure about it after such a brief time with you... that's a little scary somehow... isn't it?  
*laughs quietly when he mentions tomorrow's anniversary and kisses him briefly*  
Well that's one that even I can remember pretty easily...  
*kisses him again and murmurs*  
We'll definitely celebrate that one as well!  
  
Matteo:  
*slightly shakes his head*  
*but then shrugs one shoulder*  
Don't know... maybe? But also good, isn't it?  
*smiles into the kiss and then laughs*  
THAT you can remember, well that's interesting...  
*wraps his arm around him when he kisses him again and pulls him closer*  
*kisses him again and again and then murmurs*  
If you want, I'll find an anniversary for us to celebrate every week...  
  
David:  
*shrugs at Matteo's question but then nods*  
*sighs and quietly says*  
Yes, also good... really good...  
*smiles*  
*is a little relieved that Matteo seems to have a similar opinion and that he doesn't think that it's somehow too fast and too clingy and too constricting*  
*grins when Matteo teases him about the sex anniversary*  
Well, I've got today as a pretty good reminder... so if we continue to celebrate the monthly anniversaries then I can't possibly forget the sex anniversaries...  
*lets himself get pulled closer by Matteo and loses himself a little in Matteo's kisses*  
*puts his hand on the back of Matteo's neck and holds him tenderly so that he doesn't even thinks about stopping the kiss*  
*smiles slightly at his murmurs and looks at him*  
Okay...  
*kisses him again and then lets go of him*  
*leans against him and scoots down a little to better fit into his arms*  
*asks with a grin*  
And what do we celebrate next week?  
*takes another sip of beer*  
  
Matteo:  
*puts his arm around David and still holds his beer with the other one*  
*takes another sip*  
*laughs slightly at his question*  
Hmmm... well next week starts with the 17th... that was the Abi-prank... or we could celebrate the sandwich-feast on the 22nd...  
*feels his phone vibrate*  
*puts the beer down next to him and pulls his phone out of his pocket*  
*sees a message in ok.cool*  
 _WhatsApp ok.cool.:_  
 _Jonas: Hey brudis, what's up today? Feel like doing something. Ping pong and a few beers?_  
*reads the message to David and says*  
I'll simply send a picture of us and tell them that we already have plans...  
*holds the phone up in front of them, takes a selfie a little awkwardly and sends it*  
 _Matteo: Today we're out, we're already celebrating :)_  
  
David:  
*looks up at Matteo with raised eyebrows*  
Ey, now you're kidding, right?!  
*laughs quietly*  
You can't possibly remember all those dates...  
*also feels his phone vibrate but since Matteo is already taking out his phone he figures that it's some group chat and waits for Matteo to inform him*  
*nods at his suggestion and takes another sip of beer*  
*grins into the camera with his beer still in his hand and watches Matteo as he sends the picture and the text*  
*a moment later sees several messages pop up and laughs quietly when he reads them*  
 _Carlos: You're celebrating?! Without us?!_  
 _Abdi: Cheers, guys!_  
 _Jonas: Where are you roving about? Looks very chill! Enjoy the sun, guys!_  
 _Carlos: Now I also want beer... but ping pong during this heat?! If Luigi and David are out, we'll have to run even more..._  
 _Abdi: What are you even celebrating? Maybe we could join you._  
*looks at Matteo*  
Should we enlighten them? Or let them guess?  
*then has an idea*  
Hang on...  
*takes his phone out of his pocket and frees himself from Matteo's arms*  
*kneels down and, holding his phone over Matteo, takes a photo down the slide*  
*sends it and adds*  
 _David: We're celebrating fate #sappytimes10_  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs when David doesn't believe him*  
Of course I can... somehow my brain is weird like that, I'm good at remembering events combined with numbers... you can quiz me if you want.  
*grins slightly*  
*reads the answers in the chat and has to grin*  
*shrugs at David's question*  
*doesn't think that they'll figure it out*  
*grins at the photo David takes and reads the chat*  
 _Carlos: Huh? Where's that? And why fate?_  
 _Abdi: Is that a pond?_  
 _Jonas: Old pool?_  
 _Matteo: New hobby_  
 _Abdi: And what fate, exactly?_  
 _Carlos: Don't do anything in the water, guys, that only looks hot in movies_  
*only laughs and shakes his head*  
*nudges David slightly*  
Just tell them, otherwise they’ll never stop.  
  
David:  
*reads the messages and grins*  
*nods at Matteo’s words and quickly types*  
 _David: We’ve been together for exactly a month today – that’s what we celebrate. Have a nice evening, and we’ll gladly join you at ping pong in a few days!_  
 _Abdi: Oh, how nice! Congratulations!_  
 _Carlos: Sick! Only one month?! Seems longer to me…._  
 _Jonas: I should have figured! Congratulations from me as well! Have a nice evening!_  
*smiles when he reads the messages but then puts his phone away again and takes another sip of beer*  
*looks at the sinking sun and then at Matteo*  
And now I want to go look for the hippo and the penguins!  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles at the answers*  
*quickly types a smiley as response and then also puts his phone away again*  
*murmurs*  
Seems longer to me, as well…  
*then laughs*  
Okay… but only if I’m allowed to take pictures with you and the stone animals for Insta…  
*stretches slightly and takes his beer again before he slowly picks himself up*  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo says that it seems longer to him, as well*  
*feels exactly the same*  
*presses a quick kiss on his forehead and smiling runs a hand through Matteo’s hair before getting up*  
*laughs when he hears Matteo’s condition*  
Dude, soon there will be more photos of me than you on your Insta… but okay, one more or less doesn’t matter…  
*holds his hand out to Matteo when he starts to get up and pulls him up*  
*starts to climb down the ladder and jumps down the last meter*  
*searchingly takes another look around while he waits for Matteo and wipes the sweat off his forehead*  
One should think that it would cool off once the sun has set but somehow it almost got even more stifling… a shame that the floor of the pool and the water look so disgusting… otherwise we could have put our feet into the water to cool down…  
*thinks that they should put the kiddy pool back up at Matteo’s balcony if the weather stays this hot*  
  
Matteo:  
*shrugs*  
Yes, and why exactly is that bad?  
*grins and lets David help him up*  
*waits for David to climb down and then follows him onehandedly because he’s still holding his beer*  
*nods*  
Yes, you’re right… but the pool really doesn’t look good… we’d probably catch several foot fungi…  
*then simply starts walking with him and looks around for any hippos or penguins*  
We could hold our feet in the bathtub at your place…  
  
David:  
*grins slightly*  
I think foot fungi might be the most harmless thing we could get there… I’m more afraid of stepping into some shards or needles or something like that…  
*walks next to Matteo and looks around searchingly*  
*nods at the comment about the bathtub*  
If it stays this hot it’s worth it to put the kiddy pool back up on your balcony – unless Hans wants some strange things in return again…  
*grins slightly, empties his beer and steps behind Matteo to put the empty bottle in his backpack while they continue walking*  
*thinks that he can see the hippo from the corner of his eyes while closing the backpack, nudges Matteo and points his head toward it before he picks up his pace, walks around a bush and then really stands before the hippo*  
*simply climbs on top of it, spreads his arms out and grins at Matteo*  
Tadaaa…  
*laughs*  
What pose do you want!?  
  


  
Matteo:  
*nods to the kiddy pool*  
Hans shouldn’t make such a fuss… we share our food with him often enough…  
*stops when David steps behind him so that he can put the beer bottle away*  
*only has a sip left in his own bottle, as well*  
*quickly drinks it and hands the bottle back so that David can put it away as well*  
*sees that David has apparently found something and follows him*  
*isn’t quite as fast as he is and sees him already sit on it when he walks around the bushes*  
*laughs and takes out his phone*  
Whichever you want…  
*turns on his camera and quickly takes a few pictures*  
*grins slightly*  
You always look good…  
  
David:  
*strikes a few different poses for Matteo – lies down on the hippo, stands on it, hugs it etc. – and has a lot of fun with it*  
*then tilts his head and looks at him ironically when he says that he always looks good*  
Ha-ha…  
*hops down from the hippo where he was standing on, and takes Matteo’s phone out of his hand*  
And now I’ll take one of you where you put your head into the hippo’s mouth…  
*grins and steps closer to the mouth to get a close-up*  
*grins*  
Or even better: We’ll make a video… The hippo has grabbed your head and won’t let go. And just as you are about to free yourself it petrifies and your head has to stay in the hippo’s mouth forever until… ummm…  
*shrugs*  
…you’ll just have to improvise the ending…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs while David poses and takes quite a lot of pictures*  
*grins when he takes the phone out of his hand*  
Okay…  
*then hears that he has another idea and laughs*  
Okay, Mister director…  
*takes the few steps to the hippo and laughs*  
You’ll just have to improvise the ending… funny…  
*stops next to the hippo and waits for David to call action*  
*puts on quite a dramatic show of someone being eaten by a petrified hippo*  
*ends it with a desperate cry for help, then leaves his head in the hippo’s mouth, closes his eyes and quite impressively feigns his death by hippo*  
  
David:  
*grins in anticipation when Matteo really wants to play along and loudly calls “action” when he turns on the camera*  
*laughs a lot about Matteo’s dramatic performance and cheers him on to defend himself against the hippo*  
*is still laughing when Matteo feigns his death and holds the camera closely to Matteo’s head in the hippo’s mouth*  
*grins when Matteo really stays dead for pretty long and eventually improvises theatrically*  
Thus, many moons passed and the brave knight Matteo had almost been forgotten – the dreaded killer-hippopotamus’ country got evermore overgrown…  
*moves the camera over the thicket and turns in a circle*  
…one day, however, another brave knight fought his way through the thicket. He could never forget his true love Matteo and never ceased his search for him. He cried bitter tears of loss once he found his love’s dead body in the petrified hippopotamus’ mouth until he recalled an old tale according to which only a kiss is able to undo the hippopotamus’ petrification and thus bring the beast’s victims back to live… He gathered up all the courage he could find within himself…  
*is now filming himself getting closer to the hippo’s head*  
…and kissed the petrified killer-hippopotamus…  
*kisses the hippo*  
… and looo and behooold…  
  
Matteo:  
*had assumed that the story would end with his death*  
*but should have known better*  
*really has to pull himself together to not laugh when David continues*  
*bats his eyes open at the appropriate moment, pulls his head out of the hippo’s mouth and holds out his arms*  
Taa-daa. I am alive. Through the kindness of my noble savior and knight!  
*theatrically wraps both arms around David*  
I am forever indebted to you, my knight!  
*looks into the camera*  
And so they lived happily ever after… bing bang bong, the end.  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo bats open his eyes and repeats*  
Taa-daa – he is alive!  
*laughs when Matteo theatrically wraps his arms around him and nods in affirmation at Matteo’s words*  
*then adds a drawn-out “The End” and turns the camera off*  
*grins at Matteo and presses a kiss to his cheek*  
That’s gonna be our big break-through!  
*lets go of him and points back to the hippo*  
But now I still need a picture of you inside the hippo’s mouth for the movie poster and one of me kissing the hippo…  
*already tries the best pose for the picture*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs*  
Oh, yes, for sure…worldwide fame!  
*sighs theatrically and puts his head back into the hippo’s mouth*  
One day, you’ll have real, proper actors to do that for you…  
*grimaces a little for the picture and then pulls his head back out*  
*takes his phone back and takes a picture of David kissing the hippo*  
*wipes the sweat off his forehead*  
Man, it’s really quite hot… do you really still want to find the penguins?  
  
David:  
*takes a few pictures of Matteo and then hands him the phone so that he can pose for the kiss-picture*  
*grins*  
You’ll have to send me the pictures and the video later, ok?  
*has completely forgotten about the heat while he had fun filming and only now that Matteo mentions it realizes again how hot it is*  
*looks around and shrugs*  
*smiles slightly and looks at him pleadingly*  
Yeees?!  
*goes to him and kisses him briefly*  
If we haven’t found them within 10 minutes we can leave…  
*quickly checks the time and realizes that it’s almost 9:30*  
*grins slightly and waggles his eyebrows*  
I promise not to make another movie there… only a few pictures…  
*grabs his hand and simply pulls him along*  
  
Matteo:  
*automatically has to smile when David smiles*  
*grins into the kiss*  
Well, how can I say no to that?  
*sighs slightly and then shoulders his backpack again which he had put down before the filming*  
Only a few pictures, okay…  
*gets pulled along and simply tags along behind him*  
*5 minutes later they really find the penguins and Matteo’s heart swells a little when he sees how happy David is about it*  
Didn’t know that you were such a fan of penguins…

  
  
David:  
*is happy that Matteo doesn’t protest and lets himself get pulled along and is even happier when they really manage to find the penguins after only a short search*  
*takes a few pictures of them and a few selfies of Matteo and him with the penguins*  
*smiles slightly at Matteo’s comment and shrugs*  
I’m not… I’m more a fan of abandoned places…  
*briefly gnaws on his bottom lip, looks to the penguins and adds*  
I somehow like this… this overgrown and abandoned and forgotten. If you think about the fact that here… or in our pool, as well, there really was life and stories that happened there… and one day those places were simply forgotten. I simply like the thought that once in a while someone comes by… like with a short visit and that they remember…  
*looks at Matteo, grins slightly and shrugs*  
*isn’t sure if Matteo understands this but doesn’t think that it’s that important right now*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly when he says that he’s a fan of abandoned places*  
*thinks that it somehow suits him*  
*listens to him and begins to beam slightly*  
*not really because he shares his fascination, but simply because it’s so wonderful to see him being so enthusiastic*  
*pulls him closer when he looks at him*  
You really are pretty wonderful!  
*grins and kisses him*  
*then moves away again because he’s really sweating*  
And can we now please walk somewhere where we can cool off? How can it still be this hot at 10 at night!  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo pulls him closer and sheepishly lowers his gaze at his words*  
*doesn’t know what makes Matteo say that right now but knows that there’s no use in disagreeing with him*  
*therefore only mumbles insecurely*  
Okaayyy…  
*gets kissed and briefly puts a hand to Matteo’s cheek – but takes it off immediately because it’s really way too hot for physical contact*  
*can therefore understand that Matteo pulls away again*  
*laughs quietly*  
Walk!? The heat’s messing with you, my friend… we cycled here and I was hoping for at least a little bit of airflow…  
*slightly nudges Matteo in the direction of where he suspects the fence and their bikes to be and grins*  
But you’re welcome to walk if you don’t need any airflow… or jog…  
*hugs him from behind and presses Matteo to him*  
…or I could warm you up a little if you’re cold…  
  
Matteo:  
*rolls his eyes*  
Haha, you know what I meant…  
*starts to walk when David nudges him*  
*groans when David hugs him from behind*  
*grabs David’s arms and leans forward and lifts David up a little*  
Oh… oh… or I’ll throw you in the pool and then you can cool off!  
  
David:  
*laughs when Matteo leans forward and he gets lifted up in the air and wiggles slightly so that he’ll put him back down*  
Arghs… I’d rather have the foot bath in the bathtub… will you carry me?  
*laughs when Matteo groans and puts him back down*  
*slightly punches him in the side*  
Come on… pretty please! Piggyback to the fence… I’d do the same for you if you’d ask that nicely…  
*wiggles his eyebrows but is actually only kidding because Matteo is already carrying the backpack and he probably wouldn’t even fit on Matteo’s back together with the backpack*  
*quickly wipes the sweat off his forehead*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
I just carried you, that has to be enough…  
*slightly punches him back*  
*shakes his head*  
Nooo, then I’ll collapse…  
*longingly looks at the water when they walk past it*  
Really a shame that it’s so gross, otherwise we could just hop in there for a moment… would be perfect… nobody there who would see us, just cool off for a moment and then go home…  
  
David:  
*grins and huffs when Matteo says that he’d collapse but then gets serious again and tugs at the backpack*  
Should I take it for a while? Would only be fair…  
*takes a moment to realize what Matteo is talking about and follows his gaze to the pond*  
*nods hesitantly and is quiet for a moment before he says*  
Cooling off would really be nice… but… I don’t have another shirt and another binder with me anyways… so even if it weren’t so gross you’d first have to go home and get some fresh clothes for me…  
*grins slightly*  
…and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that when it’s so hot… if you don’t even want to carry me…  
*looks back at the murky pool again and then walks toward the fence*  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head when David tugs at the backpack*  
That’s okay…  
*listens to him and nods slightly*  
Yes, you’re right…  
*stops in front of the fence and watches David climb over it*  
*has an idea*  
*waits for him to get to the other side and says through the fence*  
What if we go to the Kaulsdorfer lakes? We could get a change of clothes at your place… I mean, yes okay, it would be quite the detour and even more cycling… but swimming… and cooling off! Last week we said that we wanted to try it, didn’t we?  
  
David:  
*climbs over the fence and then turns around to Matteo*  
*tilts his head at his words and grins slightly because at first he thinks that he’s kidding what with all the additional cycling and such*  
*but then realizes that he’s really serious about it*  
*thinks about his suggestion for a moment and about the fact that today’s Monday and that at this time of the day there probably really wouldn’t be anyone at the lake and eventually smiles and nods*  
Okay…  
*laughs quietly*  
This really goes with the anniversary perfectly… we couldn’t have planned that any better…  
*lovingly and smilingly looks at Matteo and is already looking forward to probably being able to hug him in the lake without sweating himself to death*  
  
Matteo:  
*is happy when he agrees*  
Okay.  
*also laughs*  
You mean because we’ll actually go swimming and not only pretend to?  
*climbs over the fence and groans slightly when he lands next to David*  
Okay, let’s go then…  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're interested, here's a link to the page of the abandoned pool David showed to Matteo:  
> [ https://www.abandonedberlin.com/wernerbad/#more](https://www.abandonedberlin.com/wernerbad/#more)


	10. June 10, 2019 (3) - Really under water

**Monday, 11:08 pm:**  
  
Matteo:  
*it takes them more than an hour until they arrive at the lake laden with fresh clothes and towels*  
*stop their bikes at the usual spot*  
*takes a look around*  
Is this spot okay or do you want to go somewhere more sheltered?  
  
David:  
*is a little nervous when he eventually reaches the lake with Matteo and is relieved when he realizes that there really isn't anyone there this late*  
*also takes a look around at Matteo's question and then nods*  
This spot is okay...  
*puts his bike down and hesitates for a moment before at least stripping off his shoes and socks*  
*hasn't been swimming in forever and wavers between insecurity, excitement and anticipation*  
*briefly looks at Matteo and quietly says*  
I... I'm a little unsure about the binder in the water... I don't know if it's okay to go into the water with it... if it's okay for you I think I'd rather take it off, after all...  
  
Matteo:  
*watches David and can see that he’s a bit insecure*  
*slightly tilts his head at his question and smiles slightly*  
Hey, you don’t have to ask me that question… as far as I’m concerned you can always take off your clothes…  
*grins at him and then takes his shoes and socks off*  
*looks back at David and says a little more serious*  
Hey… however you want, okay? Whatever makes /you/ feel comfortable.  
*pulls his shirt over his head and drops it on his shoes*  
*also takes off his pants and waits for David*  
*asks nicely*  
Should I already go into the water while you decide?  
  
David:  
*has to grin a little at Matteo’s response and smiles at his addition*  
*nods, sighs quietly and absentmindedly watches Matteo undress*  
*wishes that it would be just as easy and simple for him*  
*his thoughts get interrupted by Matteo’s question and he quickly shakes his head*  
No… well… I’d like it if we went in together… I’ll be ready in a second…  
*takes off his pants and neatly puts them down on his pants before turning away from Matteo and toward the lake to take off his shirt*  
*takes off the binder and quickly puts his shirt back on*  
*puts the binder down on his pants, briefly presses his lips together and then looks at Matteo with a smile*  
I’m ready if you are…  
*feels his heart beat quickly while he waits for Matteo and while they are walking toward the lake together*  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles at his answer and nods*  
Okay….  
*also turns around when David does and hopes that this will give him enough privacy*  
*hears him say that he’s ready and turns around again*  
*grins at him and nods*  
Let’s go…  
*they walk the few meters to the lake and Matteo puts his foot in the water*  
Oh, yes, that’s good…  
*looks at David and challengingly says*  
Let’s just run in, okay?  
  
David:  
*also puts his foot into the water and realizes that it’s luckily nicely refreshing but not too cold and instead warmed up quite nicely from the sunshine during the past couple of days*  
*hesitates at Matteo’s challenge but has to smile a little when he sees his look and just shrugs*  
*takes his hand and nods*  
Okay… but together…  
*takes a deep breath and has to laugh quietly*  
On the count of three?  
*looks at him again and then starts counting*  
One… two… three…  
*slowly starts to run and realizes that it’s a little cold after all, as his body is still so heated from the hot weather*  
*shakes a little due to the cold when the water hits his legs and eventually his stomach but still has to laugh quietly*  
  
Matteo:  
*reaches for David’s hand and starts running with him*  
*also finds it a little cold but mostly pleasant*  
*grins at David*  
And now jump!  
*lets himself drop into the water but lets go of David’s hand first in case he doesn’t want to*  
*waves his arms around a bit but it’s difficult to really swim because the water is still so shallow*  
Come on, if you move it’s not cold…  
*splashes him with some water*  
  
David:  
*wildly shakes his head at Matteo’s suggestion*  
No way!  
*has to grin when Matteo lets himself drop into the water*  
*takes a step back to not get splashed and dips his hands in the water to splash water at Matteo*  
*uses his hands to spread some water on his arms and face and now finds the water refreshing there, after all*  
*takes two or three steps into the deeper water and notices how the shirt starts to get soaked with water and chillingly sticks to his stomach*  
*turns around, holds his breath and lets himself fall backwards*  
*shakes himself once he can feel the cold water everywhere and quickly turns around because he notices that the shirt is now completely sticking to his body and that the shape of his breasts is clearly visible*  
*takes a few strokes into the deeper water so that he and Matteo won’t have to see that and only starts to relax again once the water reaches up to his neck when he stands up again*  
*tugs a little at his shirt so that it won’t stick to his body but realizes quickly that it’s a pretty futile attempt*  
*is reassured by the fact that it’s dark and that you can barely see anything in the water, anyways*  
*because of his dysphoria he almost forgot to pay attention to how cold the water is and realizes now that he has gotten used to it and that the water is really pleasantly refreshing*  
*smiles slightly and looks around for Matteo*  
  
Matteo:  
*at first watches David with a grin because he is taking so much time and because he first spreads water over his body and hesitates just like an old man*  
*sees how he lets himself drop back into the water and cheers him on*  
Wohooo!  
*but then already notices that the wet shirt doesn’t provide the desired protection*  
*quietly curses nature again for simply giving David the wrong body*  
*would love to take this burden off him, this stupid feeling and the urge to always pay attention to it*  
*slowly swims toward David into the deeper water and smiles slightly once he reaches him*  
Hey… everything okay?  
*tilts his head slightly and carefully says*  
If you feel uncomfortable I can get you the binder… screw it if it gets ruined, then I’ll just buy you a new one… okay?  
  
David:  
*is still smiling, but a little less insecurely now that Matteo is swimming toward him*  
*nods at his question and quietly says*  
Everything okay…  
*shrugs slightly because of course not everything’s okay but it’s better than he had feared*  
*laughs quietly and lovingly at his suggestion because it’s so typically Matteo to think about whether he feels uncomfortable, then presses his lips together and shakes his head*  
*takes two steps toward him so that he’s standing directly in front of him and looks at him*  
*thinks that it’s actually only Matteo and him right now and that Matteo has already seen him completely naked and without a binder or shirt twice and that with him it actually doesn’t matter if he’s wearing a binder or a shirt or both or nothing at all – and that it’s a good thing that it doesn’t matter and that this only has to completely register with his mind – because that’s how it should be if you’re together and love each other: That you don’t have to be ashamed in front of the other*  
*loosely wraps his arms around Matteo’s hip, takes another step toward him so that their chests touch and puts his forehead against Matteo’s*  
*quietly repeats*  
Everything’s okay…  
*kisses him tenderly*  
  
Matteo:  
*is standing now, as well, the water reaching up to his shoulders*  
*sways a little back and forth so that he doesn’t get cold*  
*tilts his head a little when David says that everything’s okay*  
*doesn’t quite believe him*  
*immediately puts his hands on David’s hips as well and looks at him lovingly*  
*closes his eyes for a moment when David puts his forehead against his’*  
*smiles slightly when he repeats that everything’s okay*  
Good…  
*gets kissed and kisses him back*  
*wraps his arms around him a little tighter*  
*smiles when they stop the kiss and murmurs against his lips*  
I won.  
  
David:  
*quietly sighs into the kiss while Matteo wraps his arms around him a little firmer*  
*grins slightly when they pull away from the kiss and when he hears Matteo’s words and gives him another short kiss*  
*slightly pulls away from the hug and tenderly runs his hand over Matteo’s chest*  
*likes the feeling of touching him under water*  
*looks up at him and grins a little*  
*quietly says*  
This is our chance to really test who can hold their breath longer under water…  
*pulls away from him completely and takes a few strokes into the deeper water*  
*hasn’t been swimming in years and is surprised that it works so well without any problems and that he really enjoys the movements*  
*suddenly wants to swim even more but eventually stops when he realizes that he can no longer feel the ground below his feet*  
*turns around to Matteo and looks at him challengingly*  
Ready?  
  
Matteo:  
*hums slightly when David touches him and closes his eyes again*  
*opens them again when he hears David and laughs quietly*  
I should have figured…  
*swims after David and only moves his arms when David stops*  
We both already know who will win…  
*but nods and says*  
Ready.  
*holds his breath and submerges himself*  
*tries to keep his eyes open to try to see David*  
*thinks that he can see in the dark that he looks super relaxed*  
*tries to grab him to distract him a little but can’t really get a hold of him*  
*also realizes that he can’t hold his breath for much longer*  
  
David:  
*laughs when Matteo says that he thinks he knows who will win and shakes his head*  
Only in theory. This is the field test…  
*quietly counts to three when Matteo is ready and then submerges*  
*at first finds it difficult to stay under water and takes a moment to figure out how to not float upwards but relaxes once it works*  
*eventually opens his eyes and has to smile when he sees Matteo looking at him*  
*also reaches out for him when he sees what Matteo is trying to do but then has to laugh because they can only move so sluggishly under water and can’t manage to reach for each other*  
*loses precious air because of his laughter and emerges at the same time Matteo does*  
*grins at him and wipes the water from his eyes*  
That’s a tie… again?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs when they emerge at the same time*  
*shakes his hair out and then pushes it off his forehead*  
*laughs again and nods*  
Sure, we can’t have a tie… ready?  
*counts to three and submerges again*  
*is closer to David this time and manages to nudge him and to pull on his shoulder*  
*doesn’t know if this will really distract him but thinks that it’s worth a try*  
  
David:  
*submerges together with Matteo and this time manages to stay under water more easily*  
*this time, immediately opens his eyes and sees that Matteo is closer to him*  
*grins slightly when Matteo pulls on his shoulder and also grabs for him*  
*touches his neck and without thinking about it runs his hand to the back of his neck*  
*pulls him closer, looks him in the eyes again before he closes them and finally kisses him*  
*wraps his other arm around Matteo’s hip and now really finds it more difficult to stay under water*  
  
Matteo:  
*tries to dodge when David grabs for him but fails*  
*gets pulled closer by his neck*  
*is surprised when he kisses him even though it’s exactly the same as the last time he won*  
*manages to hold David’s face with both his hands before they emerge together, still kissing*  
*has to let go of him to not sink again and laughs*  
You cheated!  
*pulls him after him to where they can stand again and pulls him closer*  
*grins at him a little*  
Maybe we’ll just leave it at a tie?  
*grabs the shirt on his hips and pulls him closer so that he can kiss him again*  
  
David:  
*has to smile when they emerge again together and have to stop the kiss to somehow manage to stay afloat*  
*shakes his head and grins*  
I didn’t cheat! The kiss is part of the rules of the game!  
*lets himself get pulled into the shallower water and nods at his question*  
A tie is good!  
*at the same time Matteo grabs his shirt and pulls him closer he puts a hand on Matteo’s cheek and wraps his other hand around him when he kisses him again*  
*runs his other hand over Matteo’s back and can’t get enough of touching him underwater*  
*presses himself even closer to Matteo and for a tiny moment wonders how it would feel like if the stupid shirt weren’t between them*  
  
Matteo:  
*kisses him a little more demanding when David runs a hand over his back*  
*somehow manages to get a hand under his wet shirt to touch some skin*  
*runs his other hand over David’s side, strokes his neck and then buries his hand in his wet hair*  
*only stops kissing him to gasp for air and to beam at him*  
*grins slightly and quietly says*  
Well, we still have to practice the whole /cooling off/ thing…  
*kisses him again*  
  
David:  
*feels his heartbeat pick up when he feels Matteo’s hand under his shirt and when he kisses him more demandingly*  
*also buries his hand in Matteo’s hair so that he won’t even think about stopping the kiss and kisses him back just as demanding*  
*briefly groans in protest when Matteo pulls away from the kiss but then sees him beam and can’t help but return his smile in kind*  
*laughs at his next words quietly and a little breathlessly and slightly shakes his head*  
Another time…  
*is relieved when Matteo starts kissing him again and when it quickly gets just as intense as before the interruption*  
*continues to softly stroke over his back and feels goosebumps where Matteo’s hand touches him under his shirt*  
*presses closer to him when he feels that Matteo is just as affected by the kiss as he is and somehow wants to feel more of him*  
*pulls away from the kiss out of breath and with his heart beating fast and quickly glances to the shore where there’s still no one to be seen*  
*looks back at Matteo and kisses him again – this time only briefly*  
*only hesitates for a moment and then murmurs against his lips*  
I want to get rid of the shirt…  
  
Matteo:  
*feels an already well-known shiver run over his back when David presses closer to him*  
*sighs quietly when David pulls away from the kiss and audibly gasps for air*  
*gets another kiss, but way too short, and protests quietly*  
*feels his heartbeat speed up when David says that he wants to get rid of the shirt and nods immediately*  
*quietly and a little breathlessly asks*  
Underwater or on the shore?  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo nod immediately and has to smile a little*  
*has to swallow at his question and is also a little quiet and breathless when he says*  
Here…  
*can’t really reconcile with the idea of walking on the shore without a binder or a shirt, even if there certainly isn’t anyone else here besides him and Matteo this late – but there’s still the danger of someone showing up at any time*  
*quickly dismisses this thought and instead thinks about the fact that it’s only him and Matteo here in the water and no one else and that it’s okay for Matteo and that it therefore should be okay for him, too*  
*smiles slightly, albeit a little insecurely, when he pulls away from Matteo a little and takes hold of the shirt’s seam below the water*  
*tries to take it off and has to laugh quietly when he realizes how heavy the shirt has gotten and how much it sticks to his skins*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods when David says “here”*  
*already expected him to say that*  
*lightly bites down on his bottom lip when David pulls away*  
*feels strangely wrong without physical contact to David*  
*then sees that David is struggling and moves toward him*  
*slowly reaches for the shirt’s seam*  
*waits for a second to see if David backtracks*  
*smiles slightly when he doesn’t and helps him pull the shirt over his head*  
*looks at him for a moment when they are both holding onto the shirt*  
*then reaches his free hand out again and grabs David’s hair again to pull him closer and kiss him*  
  
David:  
*feels that Matteo wants to help him with the shirt and smiles slightly when the two of them eventually manage to get it off*  
*feels his heart beat faster from excitement when he and Matteo are holding the shirt in their hands but also realizes that he feels less insecure than he had expected*  
*sighs with relieve and returns Matteo’s look with a sheepish smile*  
*gets pulled into a kiss again and without thinking about it lets go of the shirt to wrap both of his arms around Matteo*  
*groans quietly when their naked chests touch and thinks that Matteo must be able to feel his heartbeat against his chest considering how fast it is beating*  
*immediately intensifies the kiss and with one hand tenderly strokes over Matteo’s back, his hips and everything he can reach while his other hand remains tightly wrapped around him so that Matteo won’t even think about pulling away*  
  
Matteo:  
*had quickly grabbed a condom from the shore and they then had sex in the shallow water where they couldn’t be seen from the shore*  
*realizes now that David is shaking a little in his arms and sits up a little*  
I’m afraid your shirt is gone…  
*thinks that David will probably feel uncomfortable walking back to the shore like this*  
*quickly kisses him and gets up*  
I’ll go get the clean one, ok? And a towel…  
  
David:  
*after the sex feels that he’s getting a little cold and wonders for how long they have been in the water*  
*has somehow completely forgotten about his shirt and only remembers when Matteo mentions it*  
*grimaces and is just about to ask Matteo if he could maybe get him his towel when he already offers*  
*smiles slightly and nods*  
*murmurs*  
Thanks…  
*adds*  
The towel’s enough…  
*is afraid that the other shirt might somehow get wet and that he’ll have to go home without one*  
*looks after Matteo when he goes to the shore and then back to the lake*  
*feels pretty comfortable in the water even though it has gotten a little cold by now – somehow free and unobserved and full of energy – and wonders how he managed to not go swimming for such a long time*  
*doesn’t really think about it and paddles a little around into the deeper water and swims a few strokes there*  
*smiles to himself and enjoys the movement and the quiet and the water on his skin*  
*briefly thinks that he would love to go swimming with Matteo every night and already longs for next summer when he will hopefully have already had his mastectomy and will be able to go swimming during the day with everyone else*  
*somehow completely forgets the time and rather coincidentally looks over to the shore where he can already see Matteo waiting for him with a towel in the shallow water*  
*smiles to himself lovingly and swims toward him*  
*takes another look around once he reaches the shallow water where he can no longer swim, wraps his arms around his chest to hide his breasts as well as he can and walks toward Matteo and the towel*  
*smiles slightly when he reaches him*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods as a sign that he understood him*  
*goes to the shore and the few steps to their bikes and their things*  
*grabs a towel, dries himself off and puts on a shirt but no pants yet*  
*takes the other towel and turns around to go back to David*  
*takes a few steps toward the water but then notices that David has swam out a little*  
*throws the towel over his shoulder and watches him*  
*wonders how much it must suck for David to not be able to swim when and how he wants to when he so obviously enjoys it*  
*thinks about his surgery, which will hopefully happen soon and which will hopefully make a lot of things easier*  
*watches as David turns around and swims back toward him and immediately has to smile*  
*walks further toward him when he notices that David has gotten close enough to the shore where swimming is no longer possible*  
*but then sees him stand up and feels happy and honored once again that David trusts him so much, that he doesn’t have to hide too much when he’s with him*  
*takes the towel off his shoulder and holds it out to David*  
That looked like you were having fun… we could come here just for a swim at night if you want to…  
*grins slightly*  
  
David:  
*takes the towel from Matteo with one hand, thanks him and tries a little clumsily to wrap it around him first with one hand, then using both*  
*turns around toward the lake to do that, but not because of Matteo but in case someone else would suddenly show up*  
*feels a lot more comfortable wrapped into the towel and nods at Matteo’s words*  
*grins slightly and shrugs*  
Oh… what we did today wasn’t too bad, either…  
*points his head toward the shore*  
Do we want to sit down for a moment to dry off a little or do you want to leave immediately?  
*briefly wonders how exactly he’s going to dress himself but then decides that he’ll ask Matteo to hold the towel around him while he puts the binder on*  
*goes toward the shore*  
  
Matteo:  
*pfffs in indignation*  
Not too bad… back at that again…  
*but then grins and nods*  
Sitting down for a moment sounds good…  
*goes back to the shore with him*  
*takes his towel, which he doesn’t need anymore, and puts it on the ground*  
*sits down on it and looks up at David, who’s still standing*  
*points at the bag next to the towel*  
Your clothes are in there if you want to get dressed?  
  
David:  
*shakes his head at Matteo’s question, wraps the towel around him a little tighter and sits down next to him on the towel*  
Dry off a little more, first… otherwise I won’t be able to get the binder on…  
*scoots a little closer to him so that their shoulders are touching and is quiet for a moment*  
*eventually says quietly*  
That was nice…  
*smiles to himself a little and adds*  
The swimming… but the rest of the day, as well…  
*laughs quietly and bumps his shoulder against Matteo’s*  
…and if we don’t count last Saturday, so were all the other days with you…  
  
Matteo:  
*only nods and then puts his arm around David’s shoulder when he scoots closer*  
*smiles slightly and was just about to say something when David adds “the swimming”*  
*laughs and slightly nudges him with his shoulder*  
*then nods slowly*  
*thinks that he’s right, that it’s really nice with him, but also that he had been really scared last Saturday*  
*quietly says*  
With you, too…  
*puts his head on David’s shoulder*  
As long as there are more nice days than bad ones…  
  
David:  
*smiles slightly at Matteo’s words and kisses his forehead*  
*nods at his addition and even though he doesn’t want to he has to think about the party last Saturday*  
*murmurs*  
So far, we managed that quite well…  
*really hopes that this one day was an exception and that they won’t have to face many more negative surprises*  
*doesn’t really want to think about this further but rather enjoy the day and let it come to a nice end*  
*therefore changes the topic and quietly says*  
If it stays this warm maybe we really could come here more often in the evenings to go for a swim if you also want to…  
*smiles slightly*  
I really forgot how cool swimming was…  
  
Matteo:  
*nods in agreement and is a little relieved that David feels the same about it*  
*grins slightly when he talks about swimming*  
*likes the change of topic and doesn’t want to continue thinking about the bad days, either*  
We can do that…  
*hears his stomach grumble and grins slightly*  
All this exercise made me hungry…  
*is often hungry after sex*  
  
David:  
*has to grin when he hears Matteo’ stomach but then laughs quietly at his words*  
*with an amused undertone says*  
All this /exercise/?!  
*boxes him a little*  
Maybe you can get a Döner somewhere on the way…  
*notices that his swimming trunks are definitely still damp but thinks that it won’t really bother him on the bike and that he can change at home*  
*reaches for his binder in the bag next to him and briefly looks at Matteo questioningly*  
Hmm… can you somehow hold the towel around me when I put the binder on?  
*grins slightly*  
Then we can leave and you won’t have to starve…  
*pulls away from Matteo and tries to stand up without the towel slipping*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods exaggeratedly*  
Yes, hello, cycling, swimming, sex… a lot of physical exertion.  
*nods again*  
Yes, good idea… do we go to my place or yours?  
*nods again and sits up*  
Sure!  
*gets up and together with David turns around so that they are facing away from the path*  
*holds the towel up like a shield and looks away, as well, to provide David as much privacy as possible*  
*hears David’s okay and lowers the towel*  
*grins*  
Alright, let’s go…  
*stuffs the towels into the bag and puts them on his bicycle rack*  
  
David:  
*considers for a moment and then says*  
My place?  
*grins slightly*  
That’s not as far and then you won’t have to do even more /exercise/!  
*is still grinning slightly when Matteo gets up to hold the towel around him*  
*notices Matteo looking away ostentatiously and on the one hand thinks that it’s really sweet and thoughtful, but on the other thinks that it’s somehow not necessary right now*  
*tells him that he’s done with the binder and quickly grabs his shirt from the bag and puts it on while Matteo is putting their things on the bicycle rack*  
*joins him and briefly touches his arm to get his attention*  
I know you’re hungry but…  
*smiles a little sheepishly before he continues*  
…I just wanted to tell you… that it’s getting better… with you…  
*realizes that Matteo probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about, grins slightly and adds*  
Well, in your presence I feel less uncomfortable without a binder…  
*briefly presses his lips together and then adds*  
So you don’t have to… you don’t have to look away because you think that this would make me feel more comfortable, okay?  
*blushes slightly because it’s still so new and unusual to talk about his topic so openly*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods and rolls his eyes when he makes fun of him and his attitude toward exercise again*  
Yeah, yeah…  
*is standing next to his bike waiting for David*  
*is a little surprised when David stops him*  
*draws up his eyebrows a little in question*  
*looks at him a little confused*  
Better?  
*hears his explanation and automatically has to smile*  
*once again feels this mix of being proud, feeling honored and being happy about the fact that David is feeling comfortable*  
*nods slowly at his question and smiles at him*  
Okay.  
*kisses him briefly and slightly nudges his nose against him*  
*quietly says*  
I’m happy that you’re feeling more comfortable.


	11. June 11, 2019 - Rain-gazing

**Tuesday, 6:11 pm:**  
  
David:  
*had spent the afternoon with Matteo in the park where they ate ice cream, relaxed on the lawn and talked – comfortably in the shadow because it had been just as hot as yesterday*  
*hadn’t really noticed the dark clouds approaching at some point during the afternoon and had only realized that it might start to rain when Matteo declared that he’s getting hungry*  
*they pack up their things and make their way to the subway to cross the city to the flatshare*  
*they travel a few stations underground and when they finally get off and want to go up the stairs to go to the flatshare they notice that it is pouring outside and they can already hear quiet thunder rolling in the distance*  
*looks at Matteo and grins slightly*  
I’d say we either get comfortable here and wait and risk that you might possibly starve… or we take the plunge into the thunderstorm…  
  
Matteo:  
*stops a few steps from the top and looks outside into the rain*  
*looks at David and grins back*  
Hmmm…  
*reaches for him, grabs his hand and pulls him closer*  
I’m actually not opposed to getting comfortable… but I really am hungry…  
*looks back outside at the thunderstorm and then at David*  
And it doesn’t look like it would stop anytime soon… let’s screw it and get wet?  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo takes his hand and pulls him closer*  
*briefly leans against him and presses a quick kiss onto his shoulder before following Matteo’s gaze into the thunderstorm*  
*laughs quietly*  
I don’t think it’d be as comfortable down here as on your bed…  
*returns his look, grins and nods*  
Let’s screw it and get wet! And then we’ll shower and put on comfortable clothes! And food!  
*takes a deep breath without looking away from Matteo and briefly laughs out loud*  
On the count of three?  
*counts to three, strengthens his hold onto Matteo’s hand and with Matteo in tow runs up the stairs from the subway onto the streets into the pouring rain*  
*after taking a few steps realizes how refreshing the rain is after such a hot day, slows his steps, spreads his arms, throws his head back and smiles*  
*calls out to Matteo over the roar of the rain*  
Maybe the shower later will be unnecessary…  
  
Matteo:  
*presses a kiss to his forehead and grins*  
*nods and confirms*  
On three!  
*strengthens his hold onto David’s hand and starts running with him*  
*immediately feels that he’s completely drenched after only a few steps and thinks that it’s actually useless to run*  
*funnily enough feels David also slow down and let go of his hand*  
*immediately starts to slow down and is about to look at him reproachfully*  
*then sees that David has spread out his arms, thrown his head back and smiles*  
*feels the well-known tug in his stomach that he feels whenever he thinks that he’s falling in love with him head over heels once again*  
*shakes his head and lovingly says*  
Loon!  
*but then also spreads his arms out and throws his head back*  
*laughs when the rain is pelting on his face and closes his eyes*  
  
David:  
*looks over at Matteo without lowering his arms when he calls him "loon" and sees his loving gaze*  
*feels a slight tingling in his stomach and smiles*  
*can't tear his eyes off him when Matteo mirrors him and also spreads his arms out and throws his head back*  
*smiles even more because he's having that WE-thought again – that Matteo really belongs with him and how beautiful it is to share moments like this one with him now and in the future*  
*briefly looks around and realizes that they're almost the only ones on the street, that everyone else has sought shelter somewhere dry and he somehow likes this strange feeling of being alone in Berlin with Matteo*  
*looks back at him still standing in the rain, lowers his arms and takes two steps toward him*  
*simply has to touch and kiss him right now*  
*tenderly grabs his hips and pulls him a little closer*  
*presses a soft kiss on the rain-wet skin on his neck because Matteo still has his head thrown back and he can't reach his mouth*  
*smiles slightly while he kisses up his neck*  
*murmurs quietly*  
Loon yourself...  
  
Matteo:  
*feels the rain and the water but doesn't think it's unpleasant, instead thinks it's refreshing and invigorating and has to think about the fact that he feels much more alive since getting together with David*  
*all of a sudden longs for him, even though he knows that David is only two steps away and was just about to lower his head and open his eyes when he feels David’s hands*  
*takes a step to be closer to him*  
*feels the kiss and wraps his arms around him*  
*grins when he calls him a loon, lowers his head and opens his eyes again to look at him*  
*wants to tell him that he makes him feel alive, tell him that he's never been this happy, tell him that he still can't believe that they have found each other, tell him how much he loves him*  
*but somehow doesn't manage to formulate words*  
*so simply runs his right hand up his neck and his cheek and kisses him*  
*kisses him in a way he hopes David will know what he is thinking*  
  
David:  
*sighs quietly and happily when Matteo wraps his arms around him and looks at him at the exact moment Matteo opens his eyes*  
*can see so much love and contentment and happiness in his gaze that he gets a little dizzy for a moment from all that happiness*  
*closes his eyes when he feels Matteo’s wet hand on his wet cheek and leans a little against it*  
*has to think a little about yesterday and the lake and smiles when he thinks that water somehow really seems to be their element*  
*then feels Matteo’s lips on his and forgets everything else around them, even the thunderous rain and the fact that they’re soaking wet*  
*tenderly returns the kiss and puts a hand on the back of Matteo’s neck*  
*runs a hand through his hair and pulls him a little closer so that he won’t even think about pulling away from the kiss*  
*feels completely full with being so close to Matteo, his kisses, the familiarity and safety between them and doesn’t have the slightest idea how he could ever have lived without any of this*  
*sighs quietly when he realizes that this is his first kiss in the rain – with Matteo – and how many first times he’s already had with Matteo*  
*wants many more first times with him*  
  
Matteo:  
*feels somehow special and in some new way feels light and doesn’t even really know why*  
*thinks that the rain always used to annoy him but that it’s now something special and beautiful*  
*wraps his left arm a little tighter around David when he has to interrupt the kiss due to lack of air*  
*but stays close to him and probably looks a little out of it with the way he’s beaming*  
*then lovingly strokes the hair off David’s forehead which isn’t much use with all the rain*  
*grins at him a little*  
Even though I could stay here with you for hours I think I can hear a shower calling for us…  
*still has his hand in his hair and pulls him in for another short kiss*  
Ready to continue swimming?  
  
David:  
*grumbles slightly when Matteo pulls away from the kiss but then sees him beam and can’t help but return it*  
*thinks that right now Matteo is simply looking beautiful with the way he’s beaming, his wet hair hanging into his face and the rain dripping off of him*  
*grins slightly at Matteo’s futile attempt to push his hair off his forehead and grins even broader when he hears his next words*  
*murmurs*  
Hours you say… is that so…  
*laughs quietly*  
*lets himself get pulled into another small kiss and nods at his question without letting go of him*  
*murmurs*  
In a minute…  
*briefly kisses him again and puts his hand on his cheek*  
*looks at him with a smile, hesitates, opens his mouth and closes it again*  
*shakes his head a little, then tilts it and very quietly says*  
You look beautiful!  
*briefly presses his lips together and slowly lets go of him*  
*reaches for his hand and moves a step away from him*  
*simply pulls him along toward the flatshare*  
*hears another roll of thunder – this time a little louder and closer and can feel a slight wind starting*  
*thinks that it might be best if they got home quickly*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins and nods*  
Yes, hours…  
*smiles when David kisses him again and gladly returns it*  
*sees the way he’s looking at him and feels his heart skip a beat before continuing to beat even faster*  
*hears his words and isn’t sure at first if he understood him correctly*  
*automatically blushes and presses his lips together*  
*gets pulled along toward the flatshare before he can reply anything*  
*walks a little faster to catch up to David and presses a kiss to his cheek*  
*they finally arrive at the flatshare and he pulls the key out of his pocket*  
I really hope that the bathroom isn’t occupied… if Hans is taking one of his hours-long baths we really have a problem…  
*holds the front door open so David can go through*  
  
David:  
*grins slightly when Matteo catches up to him and when he presses a kiss to his cheek*  
*is really glad when they finally arrive at the flatshare as the storm picks up more and more and even though the rain on his skin was really refreshing at first, he was starting to get a little cold*  
*wraps his arms around his body and is looking forward to changing out of the wet clothes*  
*follows Matteo up the stairs and grins slightly at his words*  
If he’s in the tub, we’ll shoo him away – I’m starting to get really cold…  
*enters the flatshare and takes a look around*  
*turns to Matteo and smiles*  
Everything’s dark – maybe we’re lucky…  
*takes his phone out of his pocket and pretty futilely tries to dry it off*  
*while doing so notices a message from Hans asking if he and Matteo are at the flatshare and telling him that Matteo has to check the flatshare-chat*  
*looks at Matteo a little confused and says*  
Hans says that you have to check the flatshare-chat…  
WhatsApp, flatshare:  
 _Hans:_  
 _Help! Is anyone home!? My windows are still open! Someone really has to close them – otherwise my room will be flooded!_  
 _Mia:_  
 _Sorry, I’m at Alex’ and we just decided that we’ll stay here today. I definitely won’t go outside again in this weather!_  
 _Hans:_  
 _Linn?! Matteo!?_  
 _Mia:_  
 _Where are you stranded, Hans?_  
 _Hans:_  
 _You don’t even wanna know… *naughtily grinning-emoji*_  
 _Hans:_  
 _But it seems like I’m allowed to stay the night and won’t have my hair ruined by the rain._  
 _Linn:_  
 _I’m at my parents’. But I can come back to close your window, Hans._  
 _Mia:_  
 _Linn, your parents live on the other end of Berlin – it takes you about 1.5 hours by train…_  
 _Hans:_  
 _Many trains are even out of order – some subway tunnel is flooded._  
 _Mia:_  
 _Maybe Matteo could just answer._  
 _Hans:_  
 _I’ll text David – maybe that’ll be more successful!_  
  
Matteo:  
*nods*  
Yes, I’m getting cold, too…  
*also holds the apartment door open for him and enters the flatshare after him*  
Yeah, we might get lucky…  
*calls a little loudly*  
Hello?  
*grins when no one answers*  
*toes his shoes off and looks up when David says that he has to check the flatshare-chat*  
Oh, okay…  
*takes his phone out of his pocket and tries to somehow dry it off*  
*is glad that it still works and opens the chat*  
Shit, Hans left his window open…  
*quickly goes past David into Hans’ room*  
*closes the window and takes a photo of the window and the puddle in front of it and sends it in the flatshare-chat*  
 _WhatsApp, flatshare:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _Sorry, we just got home. But it’s not toooo bad, only the windowsill and a little bit on the floor…_  
 _Hans:_  
 _Thanks, butterfly._  
 _Matteo:_  
 _No worries. And none of you are home today for sure??_  
 _Hans:_  
 _Looks like it. Go wild ;)_  
 _Mia:_  
 _But not in my room._  
 _Matteo:_  
 _:-P_  
*while he typed went back to David and explains*  
There’s really no one coming home tonight… do you want to go to the bathroom first?  
  
David:  
*takes his shoes off while Matteo checks his phone and nods when he tells him about Hans' window*  
*looks after him for a moment when he disappears into Hans' room and goes into Matteo's room*  
*while walking there he realizes that his socks are also soaking wet and takes them off*  
*stands there a little indecisively and wonders where to put the wet clothes*  
*decides to hang them up in the bathroom later*  
*looks up when Matteo comes into his room and laughingly tilts his head at his words*  
Wow – I think that's the first time that we have the flatshare all to ourselves...  
*nods at his question about the bathroom*  
Yes, sure. If you can wait for a little longer...  
*takes a step towards him and kisses him briefly before leaving Matteo's room*  
*finds it somehow strange and unusual that it's so quiet in the flatshare and that no music or voices are coming out of any of the rooms*  
*has almost reached the bathroom when he has an idea and turns around again*  
*leans on Matteo's door frame and tilts his head with a slight grin*  
How hungry are you?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and nods*  
Yes, I think so, too... no one there... we can go really wild and eat in the living room instead of my room.  
*laughs and shrugs one shoulder*  
*doesn't really know what they are supposed to do differently just because they have the apartment to themselves*  
*nods when David says that he'll go into the bathroom first*  
Sure... I'll just get undressed already and run around to warm up... nobody's there, after all  
*laughs*  
*kisses David and tousles his hair*  
*looks after him and really considers already taking off the wet clothes*  
*was just about to take off his shirt when David is suddenly back again*  
*grins at his question and spreads his arms very far apart*  
Soooo much... why?  
  
David:  
*draws up his eyebrows in skepticism when he sees how hungry Matteo is and grimaces slightly*  
*hesitates*  
Hmmm... I thought... if you were maybe only soo hungry...  
*shows him the distance between his thumb and his index finger*  
...we could... well... because we have the apartment to ourselves and we usually don't have the opportunity...  
*grins slightly and looks down for a moment because he doesn't know if Matteo will find his idea totally stupid*  
...maybe we could take a bath together, to warm up...?  
*carefully looks up again and shrugs*  
...or shower together if you are that hungry and want to eat something soon... or...  
*looks down again for a moment*  
...or you'll just go first and then you can cook something...  
*suddenly feels a little embarrassed and nervous at the same time*  
  
Matteo:  
*frowns slightly when David starts to talk*  
*so far, David never had a problem with Matteo being hungry basically all the time*  
*also doesn't really know where the difference is between being very hungry or only a little*  
*tilts his head slightly*  
*draws his eyebrows up very high when he mentions having the apartment to themselves*  
*gapes like a kid in a candy store when he hears David's suggestion*  
Seriously? Really? You want that?  
*immediately shakes his head when he suggests that he go first*  
Nooo, I'm not hungry anymore all of a sudden...  
*grins and takes two quick steps toward him*  
*realizes very well that he's embarrassed and quickly kisses him*  
So... are we gonna have a bath or a shower?  
  
David:  
*has to smile when Matteo has to ask again incredulously and nods slowly*  
*murmurs*  
I really want to...  
*laughs quietly when he says that he isn't hungry anymore all of a sudden and puts his arms on Matteo's hips when he's suddenly standing in front of him*  
*lets himself get kissed and then buries his face in Matteo's shoulder for a moment because he's still a little sheepish*  
*murmurs*  
A bath?  
*takes a deep breath and looks at him*  
*smiles and shrugs*  
We probably won't get the chance to have a bath together again anytime soon... we can shower together if we have the apartment to ourselves for only an hour or so...  
*puts his forehead against Matteo's and feels the sheepishness disappear when he looks at him*  
*is a tiny bit nervous of showing himself completely naked but is feeling pretty good and ready for it today and knows that he can trust Matteo with it and knows that the problem with his insecurity is mostly he himself*  
*still has his hands on Matteo's hips and, without looking away from him, slowly starts pushing up his wet shirt*  
  
Matteo:  
*wraps his arms a little tighter around David when he hides his face*  
*smiles slightly and quietly says*  
A bath sounds great...  
*nods slightly*  
You're right.  
*puts his hands on David's face when he puts his forehead against his'*  
*very quietly says*  
Hey, you can change your mind anytime, ok?  
*looks at him and then smiles slightly when he starts to undress him*  
*lifts his arms and helps him a little to get the wet shirt off*  
*kisses him briefly after he has pulled it over his head*  
*returns the favor and pulls David's shirt off*  
  
David:  
*nods at Matteo's words and smiles*  
*shakes his head and quietly answers*  
I know... but I don't want to!  
*takes Matteo's shirt off and lifts his arms when Matteo is trying to do the same with his shirt*  
*has to grin a little because everything is awfully wet and sticking to their skin*  
*tenderly strokes over Matteo's chest toward the button of his pants and kisses him briefly before unbuttoning them*  
*help each other out of their wet pants and have to smile and laugh quietly because the pants are even more difficult to get off than the shirts*  
*eventually are standing facing each other only in their boxers (and binder)*  
*grabs Matteo's hands and pulls him toward the bathroom*  
*grins*  
Maybe we should draw the bath first... otherwise we'll stand in front of the empty tub completely naked freezing our asses off...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
Good idea... but we're cold anyways, right?  
*is already shaking a little because the rain really was cold*  
*plugs the tub and turns on the hot water*  
*grabs the bubble bath from the shelf and pours some of it in, probably a little too much*  
*turns back to David and shrugs one shoulder*  
I usually don't really bathe...  
*sticks his hand in and pulls it back again*  
Could you maybe check the temperature and such?  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo says that they're cold anyways and nods*  
You're right about that...  
*watches Matteo as he prepares the tub and smiles slightly when he says that he usually doesn't bathe*  
*sits down on the edge of the tub to check the temperature and adds some more cold water*  
*tells him*  
When I was a child, I loved bathing... then at some point not so much anymore... and Laura only has a shower, anyways. But as a child I used to be in the tub forever... with lots of toys and such and my mother repeatedly had to tell me to finally come out...  
*looks back at Matteo and smiles*  
*gets up again when he sees that the tub is already half full and nervously gnaws on his bottom lip for a moment*  
*hesitantly says*  
I'll... already take off my binder... okay?  
*thinks that it's weird to announce it, but somehow he also would have felt weird to simply do it*  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to David and has to smile*  
I can imagine... you in your element, water...  
*but also knows why he didn't like it so much anymore at some point and feels the urge again to protect him from all these stupid feelings*  
*wants to hug him or do something for him when David already gets up and seems nervous*  
*smiles slightly at his announcement*  
*considers making a joke that he can always undress but drops it this time*  
*only says*  
Okay.  
*looks from the tub to David and back again*  
*wants to suggest that he can look away until he's in the tub but then remembers yesterday and that David told him that he doesn't have to look away*  
*therefore trusts that David would tell him if he wanted him to look away*  
*notices all the foam in the tub and turns the water off*  
We can add some more water later if we want to...  
*looks up from the tub and sees that David has taken off the binder*  
*takes off his boxers and grins at him*  
Well, then... let's get in...  
*holds his hand out to David as a sign that he'll wait for him until he's ready*  
  
David:  
*nods when Matteo says “okay” and then tries to get the binder off which sucks as it sticks to his body more than anything else*  
*eventually gets it off and only realizes in hindsight that he didn’t feel any urge whatsoever to turn away from Matteo*  
*has to smile because he thinks that it’s a pretty good feeling – to not have this urge – and therefore pushes the reflex of wanting to cross his arms in front of his chest aside*  
*grins when Matteo takes off his boxers, gets in the tub and holds his hand out for him*  
*doesn’t really think about it for long this time but still feels his heartbeat speed up a little when he also takes his boxers off and joins Matteo in the tub*  
*only thinks: “another first time with Matteo…” and pulls him to him after they both sat down*  
  
Matteo:  
*after the bath they have dried themselves off and put on comfortable clothes*  
*Matteo had put two frozen pizzas in the oven as he didn’t feel like cooking, after all, and has brought them into his room*  
*sees that David has pushed his armchair in front of the balcony door and that he’s looking outside*  
*pushes the table next to it and puts the pizzas down*  
Is there still room for me?  
*grins slightly and pushes himself on the armchair next to him*  
*wraps an arm around him and leans his head on his shoulder*  
Are we rain-gazing?  
  
David:  
*had hung up their wet clothes in the bathroom after their bath while Matteo had been in charge of the pizza*  
*then went to Matteo’s room and had been standing in front of the window for some time watching the rain outside, which let go a little after a while*  
*can hear thunder rolling in the distance again and somehow feels like the thunderstorm isn’t quite over yet but only resting a little*  
*has turned the armchair so that he can look outside the balcony door and smiles slightly when he notices Matteo come in with the pizzas and when he pushes the table next to the armchair*  
*scoots a little on the armchair to make some room for Matteo and also wraps his arm around him when Matteo sits down next to him*  
*hums in agreement when Matteo asks about the rain-gazing and is silent for a while before saying*  
It’s not as heavy anymore… but I think there’s more to come…  
*at that exact moment hears thunder rolling in the distance in confirmation and grins slightly*  
*presses a kiss to Matteo’s forehead and then looks at the pizza*  
*smiles and nudges him slightly*  
Let’s eat – you’ve managed long enough with an empty stomach…  
  
Matteo:  
*has his arm wrapped around David’s stomach and his head on his shoulder but in a way that he can still look outside*  
*grins when he hears the thunder*  
Sounds good, somehow…  
*gets nudged by David and reluctantly pulls away from him again*  
*grabs the plate with David’s pizza and hands it to him, pre-cut of course, and then takes his own*  
*leans over to kiss him quickly*  
Enjoy…  
*hears another roll of thunder and sees a flash of lightning and smiles*  
  
David:  
*nods when Matteo says that the thunder sounds good*  
*takes the plate with his pizza and smiles*  
Thanks…  
*returns Matteo’s kiss and takes a slice*  
You, too…  
*starts eating his pizza and continues looking outside*  
*can see that the wind has picked up again by the trees outside of Matteo’s windows and can hear that the thunder is getting closer*  
*looks over to Matteo and has to smile when he sees that he’s watching the thunderstorm just as mesmerized*  
*watches him for a while and eventually says with a grin*  
Better than TV, isn’t it?  
  
Matteo:  
*finds the mood somehow special*  
*freshly bathed, sitting close to David, eating delicious pizza and watching the thunderstorm outside*  
*grins at David’s question and nods*  
It somehow is…  
*looks at him and laughs*  
It’s somehow sick… because it’s actually a real force of nature and you’re actually at its mercy… but then it’s also really cozy and you feel like nothing can happen to you…  
  
David:  
*at first grins at Matteo’s description and eventually nods with a smile*  
*takes another bite of his pizza and thinks about what they just said*  
But it would be something completely different if we were outside…  
*looks outside again and then says*  
Right now it would still be okay, but if the thunderstorm gets even closer, I’d somehow have a bit of… respect… almost like with a natural catastrophe…  
*shrugs and looks back at Matteo*  
*smiles slightly and leans a little more against him*  
…so yes, I also think that we have a pretty good, cozy, safe hiding place right here…  
  
Matteo:  
*immediately nods when he says that it would be something different if they were outside*  
Yes, definitely...  
*smiles when David leans against him and puts his plate on his bent knee so that he has one hand free to wrap it around David's shoulder*  
I like it... our hiding spot for a natural catastrophe...  
*reaches for his second-to last slice of pizza and looks outside again*  
*a little out of the blue says*  
Mama was always a big fan of rain... I don't even know if she still is... she always loved everything that came from the sky; rain, snow, even hail... weirdly enough I never asked her why...  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
  
David:  
*cuddles a little closer to Matteo when he puts his arm around him*  
*feels pretty comfortable and secure*  
*listens to him when he talks about his mother and has to smile*  
*quietly says*  
We'll ask her the next time we see her...  
*grins slightly*  
Or you ask her right now over WhatsApp and send a photo of the thunderstorm along...  
*puts the second-to-last slice of pizza back on his plate*  
*is pretty full*  
*leans forward to put the plate on the floor but then holds it out to Matteo*  
Do you want? Or are you also full?  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles when David suggests sending a WhatsApp message*  
*at first wants to decline but then changes his mind*  
*puts his plate with his last slice back on the table and takes his phone out*  
*takes David’s plate from him*  
We'll eat that later...  
*puts the plate back on the table as well*  
*takes a photo of the thunderstorm outside and sends it to his mother*  
*adds*  
 _WhatsApp Susanne/Matteo:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _Hello Mama, I'm sitting in the armchair with David watching the thunderstorm and had to think of you... do you still like rain as much as you used to? And why exactly do you like it?_  
*sends it and puts his phone on the table*  
*scoots down a little again and puts his head against David's shoulder and wraps his arm around his stomach*  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo says that they'll eat it later and lovingly murmurs*  
Or only you...  
*smiles when Matteo really takes a photo of the thunderstorm and types on his phone*  
*puts an arm around his shoulder and pulls him closer after he put his phone down on the table*  
*briefly kisses his hairline and then looks back outside where the rain has gotten heavier and a storm has started*  
*quietly murmurs*  
Awesome...  
*is tempted to get up and press his forehead against the window but finds it so comfortable right now with Matteo that he drops the idea*  
*hears Matteo's phone vibrate and loosens his grasp on him so that he can pick it up from the table*  
  
_WhatsApp Susanne/Matteo:_  
 _Susanne:_  
 _*some profound bible verse to forces of nature*_  
 _I'm also standing at the window looking outside, so yes, I still like the rain as much as I used to. It reminds me of my parents who also loved it. As a child I used to stand in front of the window with them, as well. I feel closer to God and nature this way and I have a stronger feeling than usual that everything that happens in life and in the world has a deeper meaning._  
 _I'm happy to read that you and David are doing something similar right now. I hope you two are okay? Why don't you come over and visit me again! I'd really like that!_  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
Yes, or only I...  
*closes his eyes for a moment when David kisses him and cuddles a little closer to him*  
*hears his phone vibrate and actually doesn't want to move at all*  
*reaches for it, after all*  
*smiles slightly at the answer and reads it to David*  
I'll answer her that I'll call her within the next few days... then we can see if we go visit her again...  
*quickly types a response and then puts the phone down again*  
*takes up his previous position*  
*but this time pushes his hand under David's shirt at his hip and lightly moves his thumb over his skin*  
  
David:  
*smiles while Matteo reads the answer to him and then nods*  
Yes, do that... or we'll just meet her for ice cream and coffee in town or something...  
*after Matteo put the phone down again takes up his previous position, as well, and pulls him closer*  
*feels Matteo's hand sneak under his shirt and smiles slightly*  
*feels goosebumps where Matteo strokes over his skin*  
*sighs quietly, wraps his second arm around Matteo and slips his hand into Matteo's shirtsleeve*  
*closes his eyes and listens to the thunderstorm and the rain*  
*has to think about the text from Matteo's mother and eventually quietly says*  
What do you think, how many people apart from your mother and us are standing in front of their window watching the thunderstorm right now?  
*somehow likes the thought that this fact currently connects them to a few strangers*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly*  
Good idea...  
*smiles when David pulls him closer and briefly kisses his neck before looking outside again*  
*shrugs one shoulder at his question*  
Don't know, it's Berlin... could be quite a few people...  
*turns his head slightly and looks at David*  
*once again thinks how incredibly good-looking David is and grins*  
No matter how many people, I'm sure none of them are as good-looking as you today...  
  
David:  
*thinks about how many people it could actually be and eventually his mind settles on the number 298*  
*has to grin slightly because of it*  
*feels Matteo turn his head but leaves his eyes closed*  
*hears his words and looks at him, after all*  
*draws up his eyebrows and gives him the secretary’s-office-look*  
Ha-ha...  
*then laughs quietly and looks down at himself*  
Yes, I should wear sweatpants and your... what even is this? Color stains?... shirt more often... 

Matteo:  
*looks at him a little reproachfully when he gives him the secretary’s-office-look*  
Hey, I'm serious!  
*nods*  
Yes, color stains... and it suits you incredibly well... and if you talk it down now, I'll know that you're a little liar...  
*grins again*  
Besides, you always look good, no matter what you’re wearing...  
*runs his hand over his hip and tugs on the shirt from the inside*  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo's reproachful look and has to grin anyways*  
*slightly shakes his head*  
*laughs again and briefly lifts his hands in defense before putting them right back where they were*  
I wouldn’t dare say anything against the color-stain shirt...  
*briefly kisses his forehead and says*  
No, I really like it... but it suits you better...  
*stops laughing and relaxes again*  
*grumbles contentedly when he feels Matteo's hand on his hip and leans a little into it*  
*smiles at his words and decides to take his compliment serious for once and to not question it*  
*therefore murmurs quietly*  
Thanks...  
*searches for Matteo's lips to kiss him, but then flinches badly when a very loud roll of thunder can be heard right above them and the room gets lit up by several flashes of lightning*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly when he holds his hands up in defense*  
Very good. This is sacred!  
*grins slightly and nods*  
Of course it suits me better... it suits me so well, that you even complimented me even though I looked like death warmed up...  
*laughs slightly*  
*then looks at him lovingly when he accepts his compliment and when he thanks him*  
You're welcome...  
*gladly kisses him back but then also flinches when the thunder and lightning start at basically the same time*  
*has to laugh immediately*  
Sick!  
  
David:  
*has to grin at Matteo's comment about the almost-kiss*  
*shakes his head*  
Not like death warmed up... only done somehow... and sad... but still good!  
*also has to laugh when Matteo does and is a little glad that he's not the only one who flinched*  
*briefly glances outside to the storm, the lightning and the rain and then back at Matteo*  
If we'd have a power outage now, it would be really romantic...  
*grins slightly and then pulls him back into the kiss*  
*won't let himself be interrupted by the thunder anymore and deepens the kiss*  
*tenderly runs a hand through Matteo's hair while the other one is stroking the skin underneath Matteo's shirtsleeve*  
  
Matteo:  
*only nods slightly at David’s description*  
*thinks that he described it pretty well*  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
Please, no power outage…  
*gets kissed again and immediately closes his eyes*  
*runs his hand lightly over David’s side and pulls him a little closer to him*  
  
David:  
*wouldn’t really mind a power outage right now but stops thinking about it when they start kissing*  
*feels his heart pound when Matteo runs a hand over his side and lets himself get pulled closer*  
*eventually thinks that the skin on Matteo’s upper arm isn’t enough physical contact and instead slips his hand under Matteo’s shirt, as well*  
*turns around in the armchair to be even closer to Matteo and quietly sighs into the kiss*  
*at some point pulls away slightly to murmur against Matteo’s lips with a grin*  
Happy one-month sex-anniversary…  
*immediately starts kissing him again*  
  
Matteo:  
*grumbles slightly in protest when he pulls away from the kiss*  
*but then has to grin when he hears his words*  
*only manages to quickly say “then let’s celebrate” before being kissed again*  
*lightly runs his hand over David’s ribs toward his back*  
*runs it down his back and pulls him a little closer*  
*runs his hand upwards again and pushes the shirt a little up in the process*  
*hesitates briefly and waits for David to stop him, which he doesn’t*  
*then also uses his other hand to push the shirt up even further so that he can run his hands over David’s skin more easily*  
*slightly pulls away from the kiss and murmurs “bed?” against his lips*  
  
David:  
*enjoys Matteo’s touches and feels himself getting warm because of it*  
*feels Matteo hesitate when he starts pushing up his shirt and hopes that he continues even though his heart is already pounding*  
*intensifies the kiss as a sign that everything is okay and at the same time with this thought he can feel an unknown feeling of happiness rise within him when he realizes that it really is okay, that he doesn’t have any concerns when it comes to Matteo, that he trusts him completely*  
*leans a little further forward so that Matteo is able to push his shirt up and grumbles in protest when Matteo slightly pulls away from the kiss*  
*but then hears his suggestion, grins slightly and nods*  
*kisses him again briefly but intensely and then murmurs*  
If you continue right where you left off…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly at his condition and also kisses him briefly*  
Definitely.  
*eventually manage to disentangle themselves from each other so that they can get up*  
*immediately reaches for David again, even though it’s only two steps toward the bed*  
*drops down on the bed and pulls David with him*  
*smiles at him when he’s lying on top of him and immediately pulls him down into a kiss*  
*immediately lets his hands wander back to his shirt and pushes it up*  
*pulls away from the kiss only for a second so that he can pull the shirt over David’s head*  



	12. June 12, 2019 - Will Sam come with us?

**Wednesday, 07:37 pm:**

  
_Whatsapp, ok.cool.:_

David:  
Hey, guys, what about our holiday planning? Any specific ideas? There's not much time left - unless you want to plan for next year...

Jonas:  
Oh, damn, you're right, there's not much time left. Will everyone come along?

Abdi:  
Sure!

Carlos:  
Yeah, me too! Ey, we need to work this out before I will start the apprenticeship! After August 1 I'm out...

Matteo:  
Yeah, we will make it. July? If you start August 1, then maybe week 2 and 3 or so?

Abdi:  
Sounds good! I'm in.

Carlos:  
That would be sick!

Jonas:  
And where? Really surfing?

Matteo:  
Eh... maybe something more chill?

Abdi:  
Haha, bro, you don't NEED to do sport if you don't want to.

David:  
Surfing would be nice. I'm open to other stuff as well.

Jonas:  
Somebody just has to take care of it. Otherwise we'll only get something last minute and we can't choose where to go anyway. Unless we go camping somewhere...

Abdi:  
Camping would be nice again – but then Germany or what?

David:  
You can also go camping abroad ;-)

Carlos:  
I never went camping before...

Jonas:  
Dude, you've never been camping?!

Matteo:  
What did your parents do with you? Always just vacation on a yacht?

Carlos:  
Haha, noo, but never camping.

Abdi:  
Then we should go camping. Everyone should have experienced this.

Jonas:  
Wait a second.

Carlos:  
Eh... okay... for what?

Abdi:  
Brudi?

Carlos:  
Brudi?

Matteo:  
Brudi? :-)

David:  
Jonas?

Carlos:  
Killjoy!

David:  
:-P

Abdi:  
Ey, what is he doing now?

Carlos:  
Maybe he's on the toilet...

Abdi:  
Don't want to know that...

Jonas:  
I just talked with Hanna. The girls have not yet planned anything concrete. Now we thought if we should plan something together... she can talk to the girls and I wanted to ask you what you think about it. I mean, after all, it is our last summer together before the serious part of life begins, sort of... haha…

Carlos:  
I have nothing against holiday together with Kiki :-D

David:  
Who would've thought? ;-)

Carlos:  
You are not allowed to say something about that – you wouldn't spend the holidays without Luigi either...

David:  
Okay, okay...

Abdi:  
Will Sam come with us?

Jonas:  
Abdi, when we all go together, of course!

David:  
So I have nothing against holidays with a bigger group.

Matteo:  
I don't care whether we go with girls or without.

Carlos:  
Dude, brudi, don't tempt me to make a joke.

Abdi:  
Haha.

Matteo:  
:-P Of course I meant: Sure, definitely, let's make a big deal out of it! But then camping would probably be really good.

Jonas:  
Yo, I think camping is pretty nice too, and Hanna thinks so too. She also just said the girls think it's good too.

Abdi:  
Sam as well?

Carlos:  
Do the girls have an idea where?

Jonas:  
Noo, they are also just brainstorming about it.

Jonas:  
Mia says that if we go with them, Alex should come too. That's okay right?

David:  
I don't care - I barely know him.

Matteo:  
Same. He's not really my cup of tea, but I'm okay with it.

Abdi:  
I don't mind. But what about Sam, is she coming or what?

Carlos:  
I don't necessarily have to have him with me – he really treated Kiki like shit!

Matteo:  
We all think he's shit out of solidarity, ok? :)

Jonas:  
Come on Carlos – we are so many! Can't you ignore him for one or two weeks and chill with us? And if Kiki can handle it...

Carlos:  
Thanks, Luigi <3

Abdi:  
Are you ignoring me now?

Matteo:  
Abdi, of course Sam will come with us! Don't be weird!

Jonas:  
So Carlos, it's okay for you, if we all think he is shit out of solidarity?

Carlos:  
Well, it's also shit if no one of us talks to him... so I don't mind...

David:  
Hey, guys, wouldn't it be smarter if we discussed the planning with the whole group? Together with the girls?

Jonas:  
What did we do before David?

Carlos:  
Never finished anything?

Abdi:  
Right.

Matteo:  
Right <3

David:  
Haha :-P As if...

Matteo:  
Yes.

Carlos:  
Matteo definitely didn't finish anything :P

Jonas:  
I'll tell the girls about a combined Whatsapp group and stuff...

David:  
He finished the thing with me! <3

Matteo:  
<3

Carlos:  
*throw up emoji*

Abdi:  
<3 <3 <3

Abdi:  
Dude, brudi!

Carlos:  
Joking!

Jonas:  
Hanna sends a message that Kiki is making a group tomorrow to plan ... they're all somehow not at home right now.

Carlos:  
Really?! Where?

Abdi:  
Dude, don't you know what your girlfriend does?

Jonas:  
Bar-hopping or something like that...

Abdi?  
Sam too!?

Jonas:  
Dude, Abdi, enough now!


	13. June 13, 2019 – Team David, umm… Holidays

**Thursday, 5:20 pm:**  
  
**WhatsApp, Team David - > Team Holidays**  
  
_Kiki added David to “Team David”_  
 _Kiki added 01577 6586587 to “Team David”_  
  
Kiki:  
Well, lovelies! Now we have everyone in here and we can start planning our holiday!  
  
Matteo:  
Dude, Kiki!  
  
_Matteo has changed the group from “Team David” to “Team Holidays”._  
  
Carlos:  
Haha  
  
David:  
Ummm… okay… is this where the petition was planned? ;-)  
  
Kiki:  
Noo, the petition was vetoed by Matteo!  
  
Kiki:  
I don’t understand why the group name had to be changed.  
  
Hanna:  
Maybe because it’s about the holiday now?  
  
Matteo:  
*facepalm-emoji*  
  
Kiki:  
Noo, I’m not okay with this, what’s going on, Matteo?  
  
Matteo:  
That’s embarrassing, Kiki.  
  
Kiki:  
Not at all. David can know that we all got his back.  
  
David:  
Guys, that’s really nice of you…  
  
Matteo:  
But like I said: Maybe a tiny bit over the top?  
  
David:  
…and I really appreciate it, but like Hanna already said, now it’s about the holiday!  
  
Jonas:  
Hanna and David are right!  
  
David:  
(For all I care you can change the group’s name back after we planned everything :-P)  
  
Matteo:  
(or not!)  
  
Matteo answers Jonas:  
That would also be a fitting group name  
  
Carlos:  
Well, I think that Kiki is right  
  
Amira:  
Okay, guys, now all the couples are going to turn off their couple’s solidarity for a moment and concentrate on what’s important: Holidays! When? Where to?  
  
Carlos:  
There’s an off switch for that?  
  
Matteo:  
I think Amira is right! :-P  
  
David:  
I think so, too! (And I’m not saying this out of solidarity with Matteo! ;-))  
  
Amira:  
David, I like you, you can stay  
  
Matteo:  
Thanks a lot!  
  
Jonas:  
Okay. So: Camping? Someplace where there’s an ocean? Is everyone okay with the 2nd and 3rd week of July?  
  
(everyone agrees)  
  
David:  
The Baltic Sea would be the most obvious, wouldn’t it? Well, at least if we want to go to the ocean…  
  
Sam:  
I’ve been there too often.  
  
Abdi:  
Then let’s go somewhere else…  
  
Jonas:  
But it’s quite the distance to the North Sea. Do we even have enough cars? We can organize some, right?  
  
Mia:  
We’ll just rent some if we have to…  
  
Hanna:  
Yes, maybe a van again and then another car or two? How many people are we, anyways?  
  
Kiki:  
11  
  
Mia:  
So either two vans or one van and two cars?  
  
Hanna:  
A car wouldn’t be bad if we want to go somewhere else once we’re there, right?  
  
Amira:  
I’m also in favor of at least one car. Who has a driver’s license, anyways?  
  
Mia:  
All of us, right?  
  
Matteo:  
I don’t.  
  
Amira:  
Me neither.  
  
Carlos:  
Me neither.  
  
Mia:  
Okay, but that still are enough drivers. So 1 van and 2 cars? Are there parents who would let us borrow?  
  
Hanna:  
I can ask my father – if he doesn’t need his car during those two weeks I’m sure we can borrow it.  
  
Alex:  
Umm… I have a car?  
  
Mia:  
Oh… yes, of course… *embarrassing*  
  
Carlos:  
Lol  
  
Abdi:  
Haha  
  
Jonas:  
Oops  
  
Hanna:  
Oh, Mia…  
  
Matteo:  
*sends a gif of someone falling off a chair from laughing*  
  
Jonas:  
Okay, so we probably only have to rent a van if we really can have Hanna’s dad’s car.  
  
Hanna:  
I’ll tell you within the next few days.  
  
Kiki:  
Good – so the car-question is settled – now the question that remains is where to. Personally, I think the Baltic See isn’t a bad idea! I’d love to go swimming every morning.  
  
Sam:  
Can’t we go somewhere else?  
  
Kiki:  
Do we really have to go camping?  
  
Matteo:  
My wallet says yes  
  
Abdi:  
Yeah, yeah, if only one had a rich uncle with a house…  
  
Hanna:  
Well, I don’t have a rich uncle but what about our cabin? I know almost all of us have been there before, but it’s actually quite a good idea, isn’t it?  
  
Matteo:  
And we’ll just sleep stacked on top of each other?  
  
Jonas:  
No! But we’ll split? Some in the house, some in tents?  
  
Mia:  
I like that!  
  
Sam:  
Yes, awesome!  
  
Kiki:  
And there’s also a lake where we can swim! I’m all for it!  
  
David:  
Cabin and lake sounds nice! Where exactly is it?  
  
Hanna:  
In Heidesee – a little over an hour from Berlin. But there are only two bedrooms and one couch, but there’s a lot of space outside the cabin for tents.  
  
David:  
Sounds perfect!  
  
Abdi:  
Yes, awesome, guys let’s do this!  
  
Jonas:  
Yes, great. Do you think your grandma would be okay with it if we came with so many people?  
  
Hanna:  
I don’t think she’d mind. There hasn’t been anyone up there this year and if I promise to check if everything’s ok there and that we’ll dust off the furniture, then I think it’s okay.  
  
Kiki:  
Then the question is who’ll sleep in the house and who will sleep in tents…  
  
Abdi:  
Carlos definitely has to sleep in a tent – he never did that before!  
  
Kiki:  
Well, I definitely won’t sleep in a tent!  
  
Carlos:  
Yes, I want to sleep in a tent!  
  
Matteo:  
Oops  
  
Carlos:  
Luigi, are the two of us gonna share a tent, then?  
  
Matteo:  
Umm… no?  
  
Kiki:  
Well then… David?  
  
David:  
Umm… no… *laugh*  
  
David:  
I prefer sharing a tent with Matteo…  
  
Matteo:  
That’s nice :P  
  
David:  
That’s me…  
  
Matteo:  
Sometimes ;-)  
  
Carlos:  
Could you please stop flirting?  
  
David:  
How is that flirting!? He insulted me! :-p  
  
Carlos:  
Don’t give me that crap! As if he’s not looking at you with big eyes right now and anything he says sounds like honey to your ears X)  
  
Hanna:  
Yes, so… room allocation. Kiki and Carlos can have the room downstairs if no one else wants it?  
  
David:  
A tent is enough for us!  
  
Carlos:  
Am I just being ignored or what? I want to sleep in a tent!  
  
Kiki:  
Babe, you’re welcome to spend a night in a tent, but without me!  
  
Matteo:  
Not in ours!  
  
Amira:  
Sam? You and I in a tent?  
  
Sam:  
Of course! *fistbump*  
  
Mia:  
Alex and I will also take a tent!  
  
Abdi:  
And what about me?  
  
Matteo:  
There’s a super awesome single bed in the house, I can only recommend it ;)  
  
Jonas:  
Okay, I’ll summarize:  
Amira and Sam: tent  
Mia and Alex: tent  
Matteo and David: tent  
Kiki and Carlos: room downstairs  
Abdi: guest couch  
Hanna and Jonas: attic room  
  
Matteo:  
Luckily you two got back together, otherwise it would have been a tight fit ;)  
  
Kiki:  
Perfect! Then we’ll only have to deal with organizational stuff now, like provisions and car allocation and such… I think it’s best if everyone organizes their tents themselves but we don’t need to bring 11 barbecue lighters…  
  
David:  
Yes, exactly, we should allocate the things we have to get… or make a list first of everything we’ll need?  
  
Kiki:  
I can prepare a list. I’ll post it here tomorrow and you can all check it to see if anything’s missing.  
  
David:  
Sounds good, thanks!  
  
Mia:  
Yes, thanks, Kiki! :-*  
  
Matteo:  
A list… :-) Yeah, do that  
  
Alex:  
Well, sorry, but I definitely won’t sleep in a tent.  
  
Abid:  
Carlos, a space in a tent just became available!  
  
Mia:  
Hang on…  
  
Hanna:  
Oh, then Jonas and I will sleep in a tent, that’s okay.  
  
Alex:  
Thanks.  



	14. June 14, 2019 (1) - Swim binder and dysphoria

**Friday, 9:53 am:**  
  
David:  
*after they decided to go to Heidesee together, he had spent the rest of the evening and this morning thinking about how to deal with the fact that they will probably all go swimming together on a daily basis – provided the weather is good enough*  
*has asked Matteo some questions about the cabin, the lake and the area and has looked at some photos with him to get a better picture of what it’s like there*  
*doesn’t really want to come up with excuses every day when the others will be swimming and has to admit to himself that the nightly swim with Matteo had been a lot of fun and that he had felt comfortable and free in the water*  
*therefore actually considers dealing relatively openly with his dysphoria and the trans-topic and considers ordering a swim binder for their holiday*  
*still feels his heart pounding and feels slightly nauseous at the thought that not only Matteo but everyone will see him wearing it and wishes once again that he already had his mastectomy and wouldn’t have to think about these things*  
*thinks that at least it’s not somewhere with tons of tourists and that they’ll only be among themselves and that maybe it will only take a few times of getting past his anxieties before feeling more or less comfortable in his swim binder in front of the others*  
  
*sits down on Matteo’s bed with his laptop while he’s in the shower and starts to do research on swim binders*  
*realizes that there are some swim binders that look like tank tops and also conceal the stomach and immediately decides that, if he really orders one, he’ll definitely get one of those – one that doesn’t look like a binder at first glance but more like a surf top that cis men might also wear*  
*also googles some reviews and eventually finds a swim binder with good reviews which is affordable*  
*is still unsure if he’s ready for that or if he’d rather wait until next year but then thinks that two weeks at the lake can be very long and that he can still decide spontaneously if he really wants to go into the water with the binder or if he rather wants to watch everyone from the shore*  
*briefly considers asking Matteo’s opinion but then figures that Matteo can’t really relate to his dysphoria as he’s cis and that so far, Matteo has supported him with everything he did or didn’t do, that he never pressured him or made him feel like he wouldn’t be okay the way he is and figures that he’d probably tell him that he’ll support him no matter what he decides*  
*sighs quietly and then simply presses the buy button*  
*enters his details and only hesitates for a moment before actually ordering it*  
*figures in the end that even if he shouldn’t wear that thing on holiday he could at least use it if he and Matteo decide to go swimming again and eventually finalizes the order at the exact moment Matteo walks into his room and lets himself drop down on his bed*  
*sees him grin: “Na?”*  
*also grins and replies*  
Na?  
*pushes the laptop toward him and clicks a few pages backward to show Matteo what he just ordered*  
*watches Matteo while he studies the page and then slowly realizes what it is about*  
*sees him smile and look up at him: “Did you order it?”*  
*nods and also tries to smile while Matteo comments: “Nice! For Heidesee?”*  
*shrugs and grins slightly*  
Maybe?  
*hears Matteo laugh quietly: “Maybe?”*  
*sighs, shuts the laptop and leans back on the bed*  
I don’t know… well, if I’ll be brave enough to wear it…  
*sees Matteo nod and continues*  
But if the weather is good, I’m sure you’ll be in the lake every day and if I want to join you guys, after all, it might be good to have one with me…  
*feels Matteo reach for his hand and entwine their fingers and how he slightly squeezes his hand before saying: “And if you don’t feel like it, we’ll just get comfortable on the shore…”*  
*shakes his head and looks at him*  
You’ll definitely go swimming! I insist on that! You will not forego swimming all summer long only for me!  
*sees Matteo shrug: I already told you that I don’t really mind…”*  
*grumbles and says*  
But I do! If I have to, I’ll throw you into the lake myself!  
*laughs and sees Matteo grin: “You wouldn’t dare!”*  
*also grins and wiggles his eyebrows*  
You bet!?  
*hears Matteo grumble and then feels him put his head on his shoulder and wrap an arm around him*  
*quietly hears him say: “But maybe you’ll really feel like trying out the fancy thing and we can go for a swim…”*  
*smiles and presses a kiss on his forehead*  
*quietly murmurs*  
Maybe…  
  



	15. June 14, 209 (2) - David has to come

**Friday, 7:11 pm:**  
  
 _WhatsApp, Team Holiday:_  
  
(after Matteo and David had talked about the fact that David isn’t sure if he should even come along because they are Matteo’s friends and Matteo has tried in vain to convince him that they are also his friends and Matteo frustratedly concluded with “Hang on, I’ll show you!”)  
  
Matteo:  
Guys… David and I had a fight and we think it’s best if he doesn’t come along… sry, we don’t wanna ruin the mood, but just wanted to tell you…  
  
Carlos:  
LUIGI! Are you insane? What did you do?  
  
Matteo:  
Nothing…  
  
Carlos:  
David has to come!  
  
Abdi:  
I agree! I mean if the fight was Matteo’s fault. Was it?  
  
Kiki:  
Well, I really think that’s a little mean of you. We already planned everything. Why are you fighting?  
  
Sam:  
Matteo, if you screwed up, then we’ll take David with us…  
  
Hanna:  
Guys, no, that’s not okay. What even happened, Matteo? Should I call? Is everything okay?  
  
Jonas:  
Brudi, seriously, what’s going on? I want BOTH of you to come. Can’t you two fix it?  
  
Amira:  
Matteo, you’ll get your ass over to your boyfriend and apologize. It’ll be okay! We want both of you to come!  
  
Mia:  
Huh? You fought? When was that? I saw you making out in the kitchen only fifteen minutes ago?  
  
Jonas:  
LUIGI!  
  
Carlos:  
Dude!  
  
Matteo:  
*sends a gif of a guy running away*  
  
David:  
Sorry, guys. Matteo thought he had to cheer me up by showing me how much you want me to come along.  
  
Jonas:  
Not too smart but we love him anyway  
  
David:  
Yep :)  
  
Carlos:  
You’re stupid, all of you.  



	16. June 15, 2019 - double date

**Saturday, 5:48 pm:**

Matteo:  
*cycled with David to Hanna's house*  
*naturally they're late again, as they were supposed to be there at 5:30*  
*locks his bike and takes the salad bowl out of the basket on his bike*  
*waits for David to also lock his bike*  
*suddenly is nervous again when he thinks about the fact that they'll see Jonas in a minute*  
*doesn't want him to notice anything and also doesn't want David having to put on a show*  
And you're really sure? We can still go home again and come up with an excuse...

David:  
*locks up his bike next to Matteo's and steps beside him while inspecting the house Hanna lives in*  
*feels a little uncomfortable when he thinks about Jonas even though logically, he knows that Jonas isn't gay and even though he believes Matteo that he doesn't have a crush on him anymore, he still can't dismiss the thought*  
*but thinks that the has to face it now – because of the holiday they have planned together and because Jonas is Matteo's best friend*  
*only vaguely notices that Matteo has asked him something and looks at him*  
*needs a moment for Matteo's words to register, smiles slightly and shakes his head*  
Let's get it over with... I'm sure it'll be nice...  
*takes a step toward the house but lets Matteo lead the way because he knows where to go*

Matteo:  
*sighs slightly and nods*  
Okay...  
*unfortunately doesn't have a free hand because the salad bowl is so big that he has to carry it with both hands*  
*therefore simply steps in front of David and kisses him*  
*looks at him a little apologetically and then turns around to go to the front door to ring the bell*  
*sees Jonas open the door and hears him laugh: "We should have said 5, shouldn't we? Whatever, come in!"*  
*sees how he wants to hug him but instead holds the salad bowl out to him*  
Yes, sorry, my fault... could you take that, please?  
*after Jonas has taken the bowl he takes off his jacket but keeps it in his hands because they will probably go back outside anyways*  
*only needs a reason to keep Jonas at a distance*

David:  
*grins slightly when Matteo steps in front of him to kiss him but obviously returns it with pleasure*  
*realizes that he really is a little nervous when Matteo rings the doorbell but puts up a slight smile when Jonas opens the door*  
*lifts his hand in greeting*  
Hey...  
*then watches Matteo a little skeptically because he seems almost more nervous than him*  
*then already sees Hanna come around the corner smiling at both of them: "Hey, there you finally are!"*  
*gets a hug from her after she hugged Matteo and hears her say: "Nice that it worked out! Should we go straight outside? Jonas has already tried firing up the barbecue – emphasis on /tried/. I hope it'll work out..."*  
*hears her laugh and grins slightly as well*  
*murmurs nervously*  
We'll figure it out... should we help with you anything?

Matteo:  
*sees Hanna shake her head: "Noo, we already set everything up, just go outside!"*  
*nods and reaches for David's hand while they go through the hallway and the living room outside into the garden*  
*sees Jonas and Hanna following them and Jonas puting the salad on the table before going to the barbecue*  
*sees Hanna point at a tub with ice water: "Just help yourselves with the beverages, there's also more inside."*  
*sees Jonas turn around to them: "Luigi, come over and help me with the barbecue."*  
*slightly bites down on his bottom lip, squeezes David's hand again and then goes over to Jonas*  
Let’s see, what did you do? Did you try using barbecue lighters?  
*sees Jonas shake his head and laughs*  
Dude... move...  
*slightly pushes him aside and turns his attention to the barbecue*

David:  
*slightly squeezes Matteo's hand when he reaches for it and then follows him outside*  
*nods when Hanna points at the tub and smiles slightly*  
*hears Jonas call for Matteo and is reluctant to let go of his hand*  
*but then thinks that it's ridiculous and that a week ago he wouldn't have had a problem with Matteo and Jonas talking without him*  
*looks after Matteo thoughtfully, but then takes a step toward the tub with the beverages*  
*takes a deep breath and asks the other three*  
Do you want anything?  
*sees Jonas and Matteo nod and then sees Hanna next to him: "You get something for the barbecue-masters, I'll take something to the table for us. A beer for you, as well?"*  
*smiles slightly and nods*  
Sure!  
*takes out beers for Jonas and Matteo, opens them and takes them over to them*  
*goes back to Hanna at the table after the two thanked him, takes the beer she holds out to him and sits down*  
*clinks bottles with her when she holds out his bottle to him with a smile and takes a sip*  
*looks around and says*  
It's nice here... cozy. Do you live here with your parents?  
*sees Hanna shake her head: "The house belongs to my father, but he moved in with his new girlfriend last year. Since then I basically live here on my own. But he comes over regularly to see if everything is okay and to check on his beloved plants that I always forget to water..."*  
*sees her grin and talks to her for some time about what it's like to live alone*

Matteo:  
*automatically was careful to not get too close to Jonas and every now and then looked over to David inconspicuously*  
*was relieved to see him talk to Hanna*  
*gets back to the table with Jonas and a plate full of meat*  
First round can begin!  
*puts the plate down in the middle of the table and puts his half-full bottle of beer down when he takes a seat*  
*sits down next to David while Jonas sits down next to Hanna*  
*hears Jonas: "I'll just serve, ok?"*  
*sees him put meat and a sausage on everyone's plates*  
Thanks.  
*bumps his leg against David's under the table and reaches for the salad to serve everyone*

David:  
*during his conversation with Hanna he has looked over to Matteo and Jonas every now and then, but after he got "caught" by Hanna tried to suppress the urge*  
*thinks that Hanna is really nice and also thinks that it's nice to have a real conversation with her instead of just doing some small talk with her every once in a while*  
*but gets more and more nervous the longer Matteo and Jonas are standing in front of the barbecue together and is glad when the two of them finally join them at the table*  
*holds his plate out to Jonas and thanks him and does the same when Matteo serves the salad*  
*hears Jonas say: "Well then: enjoy!"*  
*only nods and starts eating*  
*somehow found it easier to sit at the table only with Hanna and only barely listens to Hanna and Jonas when they tell them about how they got back together before Jonas starts talking about the holiday: "Man, guys, I'm really looking forward to our holiday! That's gonna be really nice! Do you remember the last time we went there, Luigi? Lake-smoking?!"*  
*hears him laugh "Oh man... those were the times..."*  
*doesn't know what to say to that and doesn't really know what he should ask to somehow participate in the conversation*  
*instead reaches for his beer and takes a big sip*

Matteo:  
*nods with his mouth full of meat when Jonas says that he's looking forward to their holiday*  
*gets a little uncomfortable for a moment when Jonas talks about the last time they were there*  
*is grateful to Hanna when she says: "Well, luckily both of you don't smoke weed anymore."*  
Yep... luckily... this time will definitely be better... with everyone.  
*looks at David while he says it and smiles slightly*  
I'll show you the lake and the jetty... it's really nice...  
*hears Jonas laugh as if he'd remembered something. "Oh man, I only remembered just now... Luigi wanted me to play Sam Smith on the guitar... I should have figured it out back then..."*  
*closes his eyes for a moment and wonders how many years he would get for murder*  
*then lets out a fake laugh*  
But you didn't...

David:  
*has to grin a little at Hanna's comment and then looks over to Matteo when he realizes that he's looking at him*  
*smiles slightly and nods when Matteo tells him about the things he wants to show him*  
*murmurs*  
Sounds good...  
*then gets interrupted by Jonas and realizes how his heartbeat is picking up because at first, he thinks that Jonas means that he should have figured out then that Matteo had a crush on him*  
*but then only slowly understands that he means that he should have figured out that Matteo was gay but still doesn't manage to slow down his beating heart*  
*takes a deep breath and swallows the lump in his throat*  
*tells himself again and again that it was a long time ago and that it doesn't mean anything anymore*  
*hears Jonas' answer to Matteo's comment: "True - I didn't really figure it out... Hey, but David, you have to keep in mind: If Matteo is ever mad at you or you want to woo him just turn on Sam Smith. I'm also happy to show you how to play a few songs on the guitar – it's not that difficult... might turn Luigi on even more when it's live and not coming from a speaker..."*  
*hears Jonas laugh and forces himself to grin*  
*answers with a slightly strained voice*  
I'll keep it in mind...  
*then thinks that he's acting totally obvious right now and not at all like himself and that he can't really stand himself right now and reaches for his beer again*  
*wishes that he could get rid of at least some of the tension and insecurity and hopes that the beer will help him a little with that*

Matteo:  
*can literally feel David's tension beside him and is cursing Jonas right now*  
*reaches for David's hand and simply holds it when Jonas even starts giving tips to David on how to deal with him*  
*takes a deep breath*  
Thanks, Jonas... really... but believe me, David doesn't need any tips!  
*hopes that it sounds harmless, just like a little banter, but nothing more*  
*but also hopes that it'll calm David down a little*  
*sees Hanna nudge Jonas, sees her grin and say: "Since when are you a relationship-expert?" and hears Jonas' answer: "I'm not, but I'm a Luigi-expert!"*  
*shakes his head and squeezes David's hand*  
Okay, that's enough... change of topic! How about a bet: Which one of your snobby companions will be the first one to complain about the bathroom on our holiday? Kiki or Alex?

David:  
*feels Matteo's hand and basically clings to it*  
*doesn't really want to let go of it again but knows that they have to continue eating at some point*  
*but enjoys it for as long as he can and smiles a little at Matteo's words*  
*hopes that he's not just saying it to console him or anything like that*  
*huffs quietly when Jonas even says that he's a Matteo-expert and takes another sip*  
*is grateful to Matteo for changing the topic and that Jonas and Hanna immediately start talking about the new topic*  
*hears Jonas say full of conviction: "Kiki, obviously!"* and Hanna laugh: "Definitely Alex!" and Jonas reply: "Noo, I take everything back! I say Carlos! He and his current wellness-obsession..."*  
*has to smirk a little at that but knows neither Alex nor Kiki very well so that he can't really say anything about it*  
*but then hears Hanna: "And another bet: "Who will try to weasel their way out of doing the dishes the most?"*  
*feels himself slowly relaxing a little and lets go of Matteo's hand to continue eating*

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
I'd also say Alex... I've seen what kind of stuff he needs in the bathroom... he has more stuff than Hans and that's saying something...  
*grins slightly when Jonas says Carlos and nods*  
*feels David let go of his hand*  
*as it is his left hand, which he doesn't need for eating, he simply leaves it on David's leg*  
Oh, I think, Sam...  
*sees Hanna frown: "What? Why?"*  
*grins slightly*  
Well because of her nails!  
*Jonas laughs and nods: "Definitely! You're right!"*

David:  
*feels that Matteo leaves his hand on his leg and briefly looks over to him with a smile*  
*has to grin a little at Sam's nails but then hears Hanna chip in and say: "Noo, I bet on Jonas!"*  
*sees him look indignant and sees Hanna shrug with a grin: "I just know you!"*  
*hears Jonas: "Pfff... outrageous! Next bet?"*  
*sees him look at everyone and then sees Jonas look at him*  
*sees him looking worried and hears him ask: "Everything okay, Brudi? You're so quiet..."*  
*feels completely caught and chews especially long to come up with an answer*  
*suddenly feels bad because it really isn't Jonas' fault that he feels uncomfortable and because somehow, he's the only one among them who doesn't know what's going on with him right now*  
*eventually has to swallow and answers*  
Yeah, sorry... I've got a bit of a headache... but it's already getting better. I was probably just hungry...  
*sees Jonas smile and nod and hears him say: "Well, then, dig in! – By the way: Should we throw some more on the barbecue? Are you coming with me, Luigi?"*

Matteo:  
*bites down on his bottom lip when Jonas asks David directly if everything is okay*  
*feels really bad when he hears that David is obviously lying*  
*then hears Jonas' question and hesitates*  
*luckily gets saved by Hanna: "How about I come with you and show you how it's done?"*  
*hears Jonas laugh: "If you say so..."*  
*then sees them get up and go over to the barbecue which is luckily far enough away to be out of earshot*  
*immediately turns to David*  
Shit, I'm really sorry... really, we can leave if you want to...  
*feels incredibly guilty and bad that David is feeling bad because of him*  
Or I'll just tell Jonas? Then it'll be out and he'll know why we keep our distance for a while? Would that be better?

David:  
*is also glad when Hanna gets up to join Jonas at the barbecue and looks at Matteo when he immediately talks to him*  
*shakes his head when Matteo says that they can leave even though he briefly considers accepting Matteo's offer*  
*hears his other suggestions and even has to laugh slightly*  
*shakes his head again and reaches for Matteo's hand*  
Hey!  
*briefly presses his lips together and thinks about what he wants to say*  
*then simply starts*  
First of all, you don't have to apologize for anything, do you hear me? No one has to apologize – not even Jonas because he doesn't even know what's going on... and if we leave now then it'll be just as weird the next time... maybe... I think I just have to get through this now, to get used to it, okay?  
*briefly squeezes his hand and then shrugs*  
And it's your decision whether you want to tell Jonas or not... But if you want to tell him, then please don't do it just so we keep our distance afterwards. We won't do that, okay?  
*laughs quietly and shrugs again*  
We just have to get through this... at least I do! And you should stop feeling bad because of it... I'm... even glad, somehow, that I know about it now.

Matteo:  
*slightly grimaces at David's answers*  
*sighs*  
I don't want you to feel awkward...  
*also takes his other hand so that he's holding both of David's hands*  
*shakes his head*  
I'd tell him so that he'd stop talking shit like that...  
*sighs again and quickly kisses him*  
Isn't there anything I can do? So that we'll get through this more easily?

David:  
*grins slightly desperate*  
I don't wanna feel weird, either, believe me...  
*wonders if it might not be better if Matteo told Jonas – at least then all four of them would know about it and he himself would see by Jonas' reaction that his worries are unfounded even though he actually already knows it*  
*but then thinks that it's really only Matteo's own decision and doesn't want to meddle*  
*thinks about Matteo's question and shrugs*  
*grins slightly and tilts his head*  
Fast forward a few months... maybe then I wouldn't constantly feel like he knows you much better than I do...  
*leans forward again and gives him another kiss*  
*leans his forehead against Matteo's and quietly says*  
There's nothing you can do, I think...

Matteo:  
*sighs again*  
He doesn't know me better now, either... only differently...  
*returns the kiss and puts a hand on the back of his neck*  
*kisses him again*  
*says a little stubbornly*  
But I want to  
*leans back a little so that he can look at him*  
It's not comparable, okay?  
*unfortunately can't hear David answer as Jonas and Hanna come back and Jonas says: "Enough making out, here's the second round!"*  
*reluctantly pulls away from David but leaves his hand on his leg again*  
Well, then, serve!  
*holds his plate out to Jonas*

David:  
*grins at Matteo's stubborn comment and quietly parrots him*  
*returns his look and feels his heartbeat pick up because Matteo is looking at him so seriously and repeats that it isn't comparable*  
*can only nod before Hanna and Jonas return to the table*  
*empties his beer and also holds his plate out to Jonas and thanks him*  
*hears Hanna: "I'll get another round of beer for everyone!"*  
*sees Jonas sit down again and hears him sigh: "I really missed that! Barbecuing, I mean! We definitely have to grill on holiday! There's a barbecue at the cabin, right, honey…?"*  
*sees Hanna return with the beer and nod: "Yes, but it's not very big. No idea if we can grill meat for 11 people on it... but somewhere in the shed there's also one of those swinging thingies for the fireplace..."*  
*has to grin a little and looks at Hanna questioningly: "You mean a tripod barbecue?"*  
*hears Hanna laugh: "Yes, exactly... one of those swinging thingies!"*  
*opens two beers and hands one to Matteo*  
*sees Jonas look at him and eventually hears him ask: "How is it, Brudi? Headache gotten better?"*  
*briefly looks at Matteo, then back at Jonas and shrugs*  
A little...

Matteo:  
*gratefully accepts the beer from David and takes two big sips*  
*laughs slightly when David knows the right name*  
Nerd...  
*runs a hand through his hair when Jonas addresses David once again*  
*briefly returns his look*  
*then sees Jonas frown: "There's something going on here. Is everything ok with you guys? No, wait, it has to be, you were just making out... but there's something, just spit it out already!"*  
*swallows and sees Hanna look at him awkwardly*  
*then thinks that it's really not fair that Hanna and David have to keep their mouths shut for him*  
*without thinking about it says*  
I had a crush on you!  
*briefly feels like he's getting dizzy once the words are out and stares at the table to not see Jonas' reaction*  
*takes a deep breath*  
I had a crush on you until I met David and at the party last weekend David found out and that's why it's... a little weird now...  
*bites his lip and looks up slowly*

David:  
*briefly gnaws on his bottom lip when Jonas suspects that something is wrong, and briefly looks at Hanna and then at Matteo and tries to somehow come up with an excuse in case Matteo can’t think of one, but then hears Matteo simply blurt out the truth and at the same moment feels his heart start pounding*  
*finds it so incredibly brave of Matteo and searches for his hand under the table*  
*only now realizes that he said it, that it really means something to him that Matteo told Jonas because somehow it shows him that Matteo is probably really over Jonas*  
*but notices that it’s still somehow difficult for Matteo and slightly squeezes his hand*  
*is really proud of him right now*  
*looks at Jonas who looks pretty confused and hears him ask: “What? Found out?”*  
*hears Hanna interrupt: “I was talking about it with Matteo in the kitchen and David came in and overheard it”!*  
*sees Jonas look at Hanna: “What? You knew about it?! How?!”*  
*sees Hanna shrug: “Female intuition?”*  
*sees Jonas look back at Matteo: “Oh man… I really didn’t notice anything, sorry! And when we were talking about David and you told me that it’s a boy you really, really like you sounded totally convincing when you said that it wasn’t me…”*  
*sees him scratch his head and hears him add: “Yes, okay, I wasn’t anymore, at that point…”*

Matteo:  
*looks between Jonas and Hanna a little overwhelmed*  
*then shakes his head at Jonas’ words and was just about to say that at that point he wasn’t when Jonas already says it himself*  
No, by then it wasn’t because of you anymore… and I /was/ convincing because I wasn’t, and aren’t into you anymore*  
*looks away again to sort his thoughts and then back at Jonas*  
And it’s not even worth mentioning, ok? It’s over now and it was just… well, doesn’t really matter anymore…  
*sees Jonas look from him to David*  
*sees him open and close his mouth again without saying anything*  
*doesn’t want Jonas to say anything to David right now and therefore quickly says*  
Can we just forget about this now and continue eating?

David:  
*had let go of Matteo’s hand again and had reached for his fork when Matteo said that they should just forget about it*  
*but sees Jonas shake his head and hears him say: “Hey, you’ve all had time to process it… I have just learned about it… I still have a few questions, if it’s okay… but first…”*  
*sees Jonas look at him now and hears him say: “Sorry, man, here I am talking shit about Sam Smith and how well I know Luigi and you’re probably sitting there thinking ‘what an ass’!”*  
*has to grin slightly and shakes his head*  
*murmurs*  
No, it’s alright!  
*sees Jonas shake his head and hears him say: “No not really, is it? I mean, if there were a guy sitting here and I’d know that Hanna used to have a crush on him and he were telling me the entire time how great Hanna was and all the great things they’d experienced together, I’d go crazy! I’d probably not even be here anymore… So kudos for still being here!”*  
*puts his fork back down and briefly presses his lips together*  
*somehow finds it comforting that Jonas can relate to his feelings*  
*eventually says*  
Well, you’re Matteo’s best friend… and we want to go on holidays together… it would suck if I wouldn’t at least try to come to terms with it, wouldn’t it?  
*sees Jonas smile and raise his bottle to him: “Like I said, David! Kudos! And sorry that I sometimes talk so much nonsense…”*  
*smiles a little as well and feels a little better somehow*  
*now sees Jonas turn to Matteo: “And you… hey, why didn’t you ever say anything? Did you think you couldn’t talk to me about it or what? Am I such a shitty friend?”*  
*looks at Matteo a little worriedly because he wanted to drop the subject, and hopes that he can somehow deal with Jonas’ questions*

Matteo:  
*is somehow relieved after all when Jonas is talking to David and seems to understand him*  
*also sees Hanna smiling and slightly nodding*  
*then sees Jonas turn toward him and briefly closes his eyes as if that would help avoid what’s to come now*  
*shakes his head*  
No, you’re not… that’s why.  
*briefly presses his lips together*  
*still finds it hard to talk about his feelings, even those that are over*  
*needs some time again to sort his thoughts*  
If I’d told you I would have had to live with the consequences… and I didn’t want that… in every respect. I just… no, I mean… it was easy, ok? In private. I didn’t want Hanna to realize it, either.  
*looks at Jonas and shrugs slightly*

David:  
*would love to take the conversation with Jonas off Matteo’s shoulders when he sees how difficult it is for him to talk about it*  
*sees Jonas looking at Matteo a little confused and hears him say: “I still don’t quite understand… what was easy? The situation must have been hell for you! We were constantly around each other… and Hanna was constantly there, as well… I suppose that didn’t make things easier for you. What do you think would have happened if you’d talked about it with me?”*  
*lowers his gaze because he doesn’t want to also look at Matteo expectantly and wonders how he feels right now having to talk about it – after all, it hasn’t even been three months since he had feelings for Jonas and he can’t really judge if it seems like a long time or a short time for Matteo and how much distance he mentally has to this topic*  
*but still thinks that Jonas is handling the whole situation quite confidently and that he shows Matteo that it’s okay and that he can talk to him about it*

Matteo:  
*swallows again and clings to the fabric of his pants with his free hand*  
*is a little overwhelmed by the situation and feels a little like a sitting duck even though these are all people that he trusts*  
*decides to concentrate on Jonas and looks at him*  
Okay, easy might be the wrong word… but it was… safe. You were there and at the same time completely inaccessible so I didn’t really have to deal with the what-if’s, you know? And what good would telling you have done? It wouldn’t have changed anything… on the contrary… you would have felt guilty or responsible… and it would have sucked for me. And besides, I was miles away from coming out to anyone.  
*scratches his nose and runs his hand through his hair*

David:  
*sees how uncomfortable Matteo is feeling and looks at him a little worried*  
*but thinks that he’s still explaining it pretty well and listens to him*  
*for the first time thinks that he’s got something that Jonas doesn’t – apart from the fact that Matteo is with him instead of Jonas. But also feels like, unlike Jonas, he was somehow worth dealing with the topic and that he was apparently also worth enough for Matteo to come out*  
*smiles slightly at the thought and looks at Jonas when Matteo finishes talking*  
*sees him think and eventually admit: “Yes, okay… if you’re looking at it like that… so I was something like a teenage crush?”*  
*sees him think for a second and then say: “But you still could have told me, we could have talked about it somehow…”*  
*intervenes after all, to somehow save Matteo a little*  
Well, but he told you now – if he wasn’t ready back then it doesn’t necessarily mean that you were a bad friend to him or anything…  
*shrugs and then hears Hanna agree with him: “I agree with David! And think about it, Jonas, how long did it take us to admit to ourselves that we had feelings for each other. And we basically only managed after we were pretty sure that we were both feeling the same… before that we weren’t that brave, either. I can understand why Matteo didn’t say anything back then!”*  
*sees Jonas shrug and reach for his beer, sigh briefly and look between him and Matteo: “Okay… yes, true, you’re right.”*  
*sees Jonas hold out his bottle to him and Matteo for a toast: “Everything okay between the three of us? David? Really, sorry again that I always have such a big mouth…”*  
*briefly looks at Matteo to see if he’s really okay and then clinks his bottle with Jonas’*  
*murmurs*  
It’s okay, everything’s good!  
*then holds his bottle out to Matteo to also clink bottles with him and while doing so searches Matteo’s face to see if he’s really okay*

Matteo:  
*laughs tunelessly and nods slightly*  
Yes, teenage crush is quite fitting…  
*shrugs when he keeps insisting that he could have told him*  
*doesn’t agree with him*  
*but also thinks that it would be no use to keep arguing about it*  
*is surprised when David intervenes and looks at him gratefully*  
*nods in agreement*  
*then also hears Hanna take his side and can’t really believe it*  
*slightly smiles at her as a sign of gratitude*  
*is relieved when Jonas agrees that they are right*  
*is happy about his so-called peace-offering but first looks at David searchingly*  
*has to grin when David seems to have the same idea*  
*clinks bottles with Jonas and nods*  
Everything okay…  
*then clinks bottles with David and only nods at his questioning look*  
*then also clinks bottles with Hanna and murmurs a quiet “thanks” before taking a sip*  
*even though everything had been resolved, feels like everything is too much for him right now*  
*gets up*  
I… um… am just gonna go take a piss.  
*turns around and quickly disappears into the house*  
*still knows his way around and quickly finds the bathroom*  
*locks the door and sits down on the closed toilet seat*  
*takes a few deep breaths and leans his head back*

David:  
*smiles when they all clink bottles and really feels a little better*  
*didn’t think that it would help him so much that the topic was brought out in the open but still wonders if Matteo has only told Jonas about it because of him and if Matteo didn’t really want to talk about it*  
*hears Hanna complain: “Great, now the steaks are cold!” and Jonas answer with a full mouth: “I don’t know what your problem is, they taste just as awesome even cold…”*  
*is cutting off a piece of meat himself when Matteo says that he’s going to the bathroom*  
*looks after him a little worried because it reminds him a little of his disappearance at the neon party but doesn’t want to be overconcerned and therefore continues eating*  
*turns to Hanna and says*  
Why don’t you tell me about the cabin… and Heidesee in general…  
*listens to her and thinks that it sounds really cool but gets a little nervous when Matteo is gone for so long and interrupts Hanna when she is pausing for a moment*  
*puts his cutlery down and murmurs a little embarrassed*  
I think I should check on Matteo… where’s the bathroom?  
*sees that Hanna is also looking a little worried now: “Right, he’s been gone for a while… right next to the front door – there’s a sign on it…”*  
*nods, gets up and goes into the house*  
*quickly finds the bathroom but stands in front of it for a moment indecisively and listens, but knocks carefully when he can’t hear anything coming from inside*  
*quietly asks*  
Matteo?

Matteo:  
*has apparently forgotten time*  
*has just been sitting there breathing desperately trying not to look at himself in the mirror*  
*gets startled by the knocking and wonders how long he’s been in here*  
*quickly answers*  
Yes, hang on…  
*gets up*  
*looks at himself in the mirror, after all, and quickly runs a hand through his hair*  
*thinks that he doesn’t look too bad and opens the door*  
Hey… sorry… I… I just needed a second…

David:  
*waits a little worried when he hears Matteo inside and is relieved when he finally opens the door*  
*smiles slightly*  
Hey…  
*scrutinizes him and nods when he says that he needed a second*  
*grabs his hand and entwines their fingers*  
Do you need a few more seconds? Everything okay?

Matteo:  
*feels David’s hand in his and can also feel himself relaxing a little*  
*smiles slightly and shakes his head*  
No… and yes, everything’s okay. It was just… a little much…  
*presses his lips together and thinks*  
Not because of Jonas or anything… but just… talking about it and stuff…  
*looks a little apologetic*  
*doesn’t want David to think Jonas has made him feel bad or anything*

David:  
*nods slowly when Matteo says that everything’s okay*  
*also takes Matteo’s other hand and slightly squeezes them both*  
*quietly says*  
And even if it had been because of Jonas… then that would have been okay, as well…  
*thinks that you can be overwhelmed even when you’re just friends, even if you no longer have a crush on someone and that it was a big step for Matteo to tell Jonas*  
*smiles slightly, looks at him seriously and says*  
I trust you, Matteo. And what you just did… that was so brave of you!  
*doesn’t tell him that he’s proud of him because he feels like this would sound silly, but somehow he still is*

Matteo:  
*sighs slightly*  
Okay…  
*then hears David’s next words and can’t believe it at first*  
*suddenly feels his heart being full of love and gratitude for David being here and for not being alone anymore*  
*drops his head on his shoulders and stays there for now*  
*murmurs “thanks” into his neck while wrapping his arms around him*  
*simply has to refuel right now*

David:  
*steps closer to Matteo when he drops his head on his shoulder and wraps his arms around Matteo at almost the same time he does*  
*holds him tight and closes his eyes*  
*finds it incredible how much he has missed being close to Matteo even though they had only been with company for such a short time but blames it on the tension and the serious topics*  
*shakes his head when Matteo thanks him*  
*doesn’t think that he has to thank him*  
*briefly considers thanking Matteo because right now he’s feeling better because Matteo has talked about the topic but then drops the idea because right now it’s about Matteo and not him*  
*is going to thank him later and simply holds him right now*  
*eventually asks quietly*  
Do you rater want to go home?  
*pulls away slightly to look at him*

Matteo:  
*takes a deep breath and really refuels*  
*can literally feel himself feeling better and better*  
*looks at him when he pulls away and shakes his head*  
No… those are my best friends out there… it’s okay…  
*kisses him briefly and smiles*  
Besides, you are here.  
*tilts his head slightly*  
And Hanna always makes the best desserts…

David:  
*smiles when Matteo says that he wants to stay and smiles even more when he says that he’s here*  
*murmurs*  
That’s good, then…  
*laughs quietly when he talks about the dessert and says full of conviction*  
We cannot miss this…  
*still keeps a hold on him when he wants to pull away and kisses him again properly, longer and tenderly and slowly runs his hand over the back of his neck*  
*smiles when he pulls away from the kiss and asks with a smirk*  
Shall we?  
*points his head toward the terrace*

Matteo:  
*kisses him back and for a moment forgets everything else*  
*smiles afterwards*  
Yep…  
*keeps a hold of David’s hand and they go back to the terrace*  
*was expecting some stupid comment and is therefore surprised when Jonas and Hanna look at him lovingly and Jonas asks: “Everything okay?”*  
*nods and quickly sits back down again*  
Yes… sorry…  
*sees Hanna smile: “Well the steaks are cold but we can also move on to dessert or to the stronger alcohol?”*

David:  
*goes back to the terrace with Matteo and inconspicuously scoots his chair closer to Matteo’s so that they can hold hands more comfortably*  
*smiles when Jonas asks if everything is okay and leans back a little*  
*grins when Hanna says that the steaks are cold and when she talks about dessert and says*  
Matteo has already raved about your desserts… so definitely!   
*hears Jonas: “And rightly so! Hanna’s desserts are the best!”*  
*lets go of Matteo’s hand to help Hanna clear the dishes*  
*wants to get up to help her bring the dishes into the kitchen but sees her decline: “Oh, you don’t have to, I can manage… and we’ll take the rest in later…”*  
*sits back down and sees Hanna disappear*  
*takes another sip of beer and hears Jonas ask: “Do you already have plans for the future? Are you going to study or do an apprenticeship, just chill or something completely different?”*  
*answers first because Matteo still doesn’t really know and because he doesn’t know if Matteo even wants to talk about this topic*  
Hmmm… well I applied to film school… I have to wait and see whether I get accepted – the selection criteria are pretty tough… at least at the normal universities… and the private ones I can’t afford…  
*sees Jonas look at him interestedly: “Filmmaking/film school… awesome… but it somehow suits you… but you do want to stay in Berlin?”*  
*briefly looks over to Matteo and then nods*  
If it’s somehow possible, yes… I haven’t been here for that long. Would suck if I had to move away again just after finally getting settled…  
*sees Jonas grin: “Besides, Luigi would probably die of yearning if you would leave Berlin…”*

Matteo:  
*is glad that David is the first one to answer the question about the future*  
*still isn’t too happy about constantly being asked that question*  
*then grins when Jonas grins and also grins at his words*  
Noo, I wouldn’t…  
*sees Jonas open his mouth to disagree and quickly says*  
… I would go with him.  
*sees Jonas look at him surprised: “Oh really? Away from Berlin? You?”*  
*nods*  
Yes, you know… badly sappy and in love couple and so on…  
*then shrugs*  
Besides, I still don’t really have a plan… and I can do some random jobs in some random city…

David:  
*has to smile when Matteo says again without any doubt in his voice that he would go with him if he had to leave Berlin and lowers his gaze a little so that it isn't as obvious how happy he is about it*  
*but somehow can only accept it because he would do the same for Matteo if the situation was reversed*  
*can hear how surprised Jonas is and then laughs at Matteo's answer*  
*looks back up again and takes Matteo's hand*  
Yes, and we stand by it...  
*sees that Jonas is still struggling with the idea that Matteo might move away and therefore says*  
Well, but don't worry. If everything goes to plan he won't have to leave you and I get a university spot in Berlin.  
*shrugs*  
Unless he decides to do something he can only do somewhere else... then I'd try to change universities... in the end it doesn't really matter where we study...  
*sees Jonas grin slightly: "I see, you've already planned and talked about it... I think it's good... really... that you're so sure..."*  
*wonders if Jonas might find it silly that they are already planning so far ahead into the future even though they've only been together for such a short time but then decides that he doesn't care what Jonas thinks about it*  
*strokes his thumb over the back of Matteo's hand and then squeezes it slightly*  
*asks Jonas*  
And what about you? Any plans?

Matteo:  
*laughs when David says that they stand by it and nods*  
Exactly!  
*is really surprised that Jonas seems to be floored by the fact that he would maybe move away*  
*quickly nods at David's words*  
Yes, plan A is definitely to stay in Berlin... and to keep annoying you.  
*grins slightly*  
*looks at him grateful when he's honestly happy for them*  
*sees him nod and already knows what he'll answer*  
*therefore answers in unison with him*  
To study to become a teacher for German and Politics.  
*laughs when Jonas looks at him baffled but then grins: "Yes, exactly... and also to stay in Berlin... especially now that it worked out with Hanna again..."*

David:  
*grins when Matteo and Jonas tell him about Jonas' plan in unison and with a smirk says*  
I suppose that plan has been around for a while...?!  
*then sees Hanna come back to the terrace with a big bowl and hears her ask: "What about Hanna and Berlin?"*  
*hears Jonas answer: "Jonas is staying in Berlin because of Hanna and university!"*  
*sees Hanna look at them in surprise: "Why? Does anyone want to leave Berlin?"*  
*smiles and shakes his head*  
Don't worry, that would only be plan B...  
*then leans forward to look into the bowl*  
Hmm, that looks really good. What is it?  
*sees Hanna shrug: "Some strawberry-rhubarb-cream-yoghurt-crisp-thingy... I forgot the name. But it's really good – I once made it for Papa's birthday... just help yourselves, okay?"*  
*sees her sit down again and Jonas grab a spoon and ladle to serve everyone*

Matteo:  
*takes the bowl Jonas hands him and immediately tries it*  
Hmmmm, wonderful... as always...  
*Hanna laughs: "One can always get you with food... did you also get him like that, David?"*  
*only laughs and shakes his head*  
David can't cook.  
*sees Hanna grin and can already imagine what she's thinking*  
*kicks her under the table and hears her complain: "Hey, I didn't say anything!"*  
*laughs*  
But you were thinking it. And yes, you're right, but still!  
*sees Jonas gape at them and look from him to Hanna and then to David and eventually hears him ask: "What's going on with them?"*

David:  
*also accepts a bowl from Jonas and thanks him*  
*immediately tries it and agrees with Matteo*  
Really delicious!  
*grinningly shakes his head at Hanna's question*  
I probably would have chased him away with my cooking skills...  
*nods at Matteo's words*  
I don't have to, it's enough if you can!  
*grins again and then looks between Hanna and Matteo a little surprised*  
*doesn't really get what this is about and then leans back in relief when he hears Jonas' words*  
Thank God I'm not the only one who doesn't get it...  
*laughs and then asks Hanna and Matteo*  
Enlighten us! Please!  
*hears Jonas: "Yes, please! Pretty please!"*  
*sees Jonas make puppy dog eyes and has to laugh again*

Matteo:  
*grins and looks at Hanna who shrugs*  
Hanna was thinking about other qualities...  
*hears Hanna defend herself: "You handed it to me on a silver platter, I couldn't help it!"*  
*laughs*  
Noo, noo, you're simply a little dirty! Don't put the blame on me!  
*hears Jonas laugh and nod: "True, but I like it..."*  
*groans in complaint and hears Jonas: "That's what you get..."*  
*shakes his head*  
I'll turn back to my dessert, at least there I know what I'm getting!

David:  
*blushes slightly when he realizes what it's about but also laughs when the three continue to mock each other*  
*but then also turns back to his dessert and hears Jonas: "And I'll go get another round of beer!"*  
*sees him get up and considers if he should really have a third beer – but on the other hand they have been sitting here for several hours and he's doing okay and he doesn't feel drunk or anything and therefore decides to have another one*  
*but then sees Jonas come back not only with 4 beers (2 in the pockets of his pants, 2 under his arm) but also with a bottle of green booze and four shot glasses and how he hands everyone a shot glass*  
*declines*  
No, thanks, not for me... I'll only take the beer...  
*hears Jonas: "Come on, one as a digestif and as a toast to our first double date..."*  
*only shakes his head again and smiles slightly*  
It's okay, I'll toast with beer!

Matteo:  
*sees Jonas come back with booze and immediately looks at David*  
*but then sees him decline immediately and is relieved*  
*hears Jonas ask again*  
*knows this tone of voice too well, it has caused him to crash several times before*  
I'll drink David's as well.  
*grins and hears Jonas laugh: "I'll take you at your word!"*  
*sees Jonas really pour four shots and put two of them down in front of him*  
Well then...  
*hears Hanna: "To us!"*  
*toasts with everyone and then drinks both of the shots*  
Puuuuh... that's from Hanna, isn’t it?  
*sees Hanna nod: "Why?"*  
It tastes good.

David:  
*smiles at Matteo in gratitude when he offers to drink his shot and is glad that Jonas doesn't keep asking*  
*toasts with everyone with his beer and grins slightly when he listens to Hanna and Matteo*  
*asks*  
Sweet?  
*hears Jonas: "Pfff, I think that's rather an insult for me – Matteo keeps insinuating that I only buy the cheap crap!"*  
*grins*  
I see...  
*hears Jonas continue: "Well, I'd be grateful if one day you'd convince yourself of the opposite and be on my side – I'm there all by myself... or don’t you drink any harder alcohol in general?"*  
*shrugs*  
Not very often...  
*sees Jonas nod and hears him ask: "And why not? Out of conviction or because you don't like the taste or why?"*  
*briefly presses his lips together and leans back*  
*picks at the label of his bottle and thinks for a moment but then thinks that the topic will probably come up numerous times when they're on holiday and that it might not be too bad to be open about it and to start with Hanna and Jonas*  
*therefore says*  
I should...   
*makes air quotes*  
..."avoid excessive consumption of alcohol." Of course it's a matter of interpretation what "excessive consumption of alcohol" is...  
*shrugs and notices that Jonas and Hanna look at him questioningly and a little confused*  
*hears Jonas: "Okay... and... who says that? I mean, why? Or am I missing something?"*  
*laughs quietly and shakes his head*  
Noo, I...  
*gets a little sheepish and lowers his gaze before saying*  
Because of the hormone injections...  
*shrugs and adds*  
That's basically the same as when someone has to take medication regularly – then you're not supposed to drink so much, either... affects the liver...  
*looks back up and says*  
Well I do get drunk every now and then... that's not so bad, I think, but I just shouldn't make a habit out of it...

Matteo:  
*laughingly shakes his head*  
I'm insinuating it because it's true, dude!  
*hears Jonas ask David questions and immediately looks at him to check on him*  
*is ready to interfere in case he wants to distract him*  
*hears him answer a little hesitantly*  
*hears Jonas ask some more questions and notices David get tense*  
*immediately puts a hand on his leg*  
*is just about to open his mouth to change the topic when David answers*  
*is incredibly proud of him and slightly squeezes his leg*  
*sees Hanna smile and nod in understanding*  
*also sees Jonas look a little embarrassed and hears him say: "Oh, man, of course! Sorry... I already thought the other day that I should do some research on it... it has to suck if you always have to explain everything to everyone, right?"*  
*looks at Jonas totally happy and is really proud: proud of his boyfriend for being brave and of his best friend for such a great reaction*

David:  
*grabs Matteo's hand when he feels it on is leg and holds onto it tightly*  
*realizes how difficult it is to talk about it openly but also thinks that it's just as difficult to constantly come up with excuses*  
*is all the more relieved when Jonas' and Hanna's reaction isn't negative, relaxes his hold onto Matteo's hand a little and smiles slightly*  
*shrugs*  
To be honest, so far there haven't really been too many people who were interested in it... but...  
*picks at the label with his free hand*  
... I think it really is better to talk about it openly instead of constantly having to come up with excuses why I don't drink so much...  
*shrugs and looks at Jonas (and Hanna) a little sheepishly*  
So you... or both of you can do research if you want to, but if you have any questions then just ask, okay? It can be a little confusing, all of that stuff...  
*lovingly grins at Matteo*  
*hears Hanna clear her throat and say: "But it's also something of a taboo-topic to ask trans people, isn't it? I mean, you don't just go up to someone and ask something so private!"*  
*laughs quietly*  
Well, I'm not someone...  
*adds*  
But you're right: With someone you don't really know that well, you don't really want to pace them...  
*takes a sip of his beer and adds*  
But hey, the offer still stands: If you have any questions, then just ask me... or Matteo – he already knows quite a few things by now...  
*grins at him again, pulls at him a little and then spontaneously leans forward to press a kiss on his cheek*

Matteo:  
*holds David's hand and lets him squeeze his hand as much as he needs to*  
*hears him say that it's better to talk about it openly and is really happy*  
*still remembers David not wanting to tell anyone and the mere thought caused him to want to run away*  
*squeezes his hand slightly*  
*nods at Hanna's words and thinks that she's right*  
*is surprised when David tells them that they should ask him and wants to shake his head*  
*but then gets a kiss and has to grin*  
Well... I just read up on it... and asked questions...  
*hears Jonas laugh: "Aha, so you can read if you want to!"*  
*pulls a face in his direction*  
*Jonas laughs but then get serious again: "Noo, really, I want to know more about it... and thanks for your offer about asking you... I'm sure I'll get back to you on that..."*

David:  
*has to grin when Jonas teases Matteo but then gets more serious again and nods some more at Jonas' words*  
*right now feels like he's a part of something and feels understood and happy and never would have thought that he'd get to a point where he's sitting in the company of his boyfriend and two people who are well on their way of becoming his friends and to talk about this topic so openly – especially considering how the evening started and how uncomfortable he felt only a few hours ago*  
*takes another sip of beer and briefly smiles at Matteo*  
*feels like the mood changed because he was brave enough to tell Jonas that he used to have a crush on him and is incredibly grateful to him all of a sudden*  
*sees Hanna and Jonas also smile to themselves and watches Hanna lean against Jonas and Jonas wrap an arm around her*  
*hears Hanna say in their direction: "Hey, there's still some dessert left... you two, dig in!"*  
*grins slightly and leans forward*  
I won't say no to that...  
*looks at Matteo*  
You, too?  
*reaches for the ladle*

Matteo:  
*looks at David and sees him relax, look almost content and his happy for him*  
*smiles back immediately when he looks at him and slightly nudges him with his shoulder*  
*grins broadly at Hanna's question*  
Me neither.  
*pushes his bowl towards David and digs in after he has served him some more*  
*hears Hanna say: "I think I have a question... if it's okay and not stupid... have you always been into guys or did that somehow change together with the rest?"*

David:  
*serves him and Matteo some more dessert and starts to eat*  
*looks up when Hanna says that she has a question and nods as a sign for her to ask it*  
*nods again, swallows his dessert and answers*  
I think I've always been into guys, as well... even though I'd probably consider myself more pan... I'm just somehow into people. I don't really care about the gender... but that's something I never really thought about...  
*thinks for a moment and then explains*  
Somehow, I was only preoccupied with myself for a long time... especially at the beginning of puberty when everyone started to fall in love and stuff... I was more preoccupied with fighting to be myself the way I am... and that it's okay to be the way I am...  
*briefly smiles at Hanna to show her that her question wasn't stupid and sees her nod and hears her ask a little less hesitantly: "So you've always known that you're a boy? Or did that also start with puberty?"*  
*keeps eating his dessert while answering*  
I've always known, actually... but what it’s called, that I'm transgender, I mean, I only found that out when I was around 12, 13...

Matteo:  
*doesn't find Hanna's question stupid at all*  
*was afraid for a moment that she would ask something really stupid*  
*grins slightly at David's answer*  
*hears Hanna say: "That's actually a good thing, right? That early on? I mean, there are stories about people who only dare that when they're much older... to live the way they are..."*  
*only nods at that*  
*then hears Jonas: "I always say all of that would be a lot easier if society knew more about it... I mean all that entails... and if people wouldn't just live according to some norm... white, hetero, umm... not trans, is there a word for it?"*  
*nods and answers before David does*  
Cis.  
*sees Jonas' confused look: "Huh?"*  
Cis... you and Hanna and I, we are cis gender, not trans, we live with the gender we were born with.

David:  
*nods at Hanna's words*  
Yes, there are people like that... but better late than never.  
*shrugs and says*  
At the beginning it's not an easy step to take, to be brave enough...  
*also nods at Jonas' words and was just about to answer his question when Matteo does*  
*grins when Jonas asks again and, after Matteo explained it, says*  
You see... he knows stuff...  
*sees Jonas laugh: "Yes, and he knows more than me! That shouldn't be the case!"*  
*then hears Hanna: "Well, he's right at the source for answers – he definitely has an advantage over us in that respect..."*  
*reaches for his beer again and takes another sip*  
*looks at Matteo happily*  
*thinks it's pretty great that he's so interested in all of that and that he did so much research*  
*is already looking forward a little bit to being alone with him later, even though he's also enjoying the feeling of being able to talk so openly in front of others*

Matteo:  
*has finished his second helping of the dessert and pushes the bowl away*  
*only grins when Jonas complains that he knows more and shrugs*  
*sees that David is also finished and immediately leans over to put his head on his shoulder*  
Like I said, you can also ask him... he doesn't bite... only sometimes...  
*grins slightly when Jonas laughs*  
*sees Jonas open his mouth and then close it again and grins at him*  
*can imagine that he was about to say something out of line and is happy that he didn't say it*

David:  
*wraps his arms around Matteo when he leans against him and scoots a little closer to him so that it's more comfortable*  
*grins when Matteo says that he bites only sometimes and adds*  
Veeery rarely...  
*looks over at Hanna and Jonas, who are sitting wrapped up in each other just like them, and sees Jonas grin and Hanna smile*  
*they are quiet for some time until Hanna says with a slight smirk: "Sooo... the first double date... resume?"*  
*laughs quietly and kisses Matteo's temple*  
Well... the start was a little bumpy... but the food was good and after the initial difficulties it was quite nice, wasn't it?  
*looks at everyone and sees Jonas nod: "I agree! We should definitely do it again!"*

Matteo:  
*grins at Hanna's question and nods at David's answer*  
Yeah, I'd say we managed quite well...  
*nods when Jonas says that they should do it again*  
*finds David's hand and plays a little with his fingers*  
*hears Hanna say: "But you don't have to leave straight away, right? We could grab a blanket and lay down on the grass for a while?"*  
*sees Jonas nod: "Oh yes! And Luigi has to drink at least two more shots with me!"*  
*laughs*  
I still have to cycle home!

David:  
*quickly checks the time and sees that it's almost 11*  
*isn't really tired yet and nods at the question about the blanket*  
Sounds good...  
*grins slightly when Matteo says that he still has to cycle home and says*  
If I have to I'll just pull you home...  
*sees Hanna get up and clear away some of the dishes and hears her say: "I'll just take that to the kitchen and grab the blanket..."*  
*slightly pulls his arms away from Matteo and suggests*  
We can also clear the table... and you get the blanket?  
*sees Hanna smile and nod and then starts clearing everything up and taking it to the kitchen together with Jonas and Matteo*  
*when they come back out Hanna has already spread a big blanket on the grass and lit some torches*  
*sees her grin at the torches and then at them and hears her ask: "Too sappy?"*  
*also grins and shakes his head*  
We've decided that we're into cheesiness... and that looks cozy...  
*tenderly reaches for Matteo's hand and pulls him down on the blanket*

Matteo:  
*quickly clears everything away to the kitchen and grins when they get back outside*  
*somehow, Hanna has always had a hand for making things cozy with only a flick of the wrist*  
*but it might also have to do with her presence*  
*nods and laughs at David's words*  
Yep, we've decided that we are and we go through with it without compromise  
*hears Hanna laugh and nudge him slightly: "Who would have thought, huh?"*  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
Well...  
*holds David's hands and lies down with him*  
*scoots down a little so that he can put his head on his stomach*  
*hears Jonas and Hanna apparently also find a comfortable position and finds it somehow really nice and relaxing that afterwards it's quiet for some time*

David:  
*wraps one arm around Matteo and puts the other one in his hair when they lie down*  
*softly runs a hand through his hair and enjoys the quiet after Jonas and Hanna have also laid down on the blanket*  
*closes his eyes in relaxation and only opens them a little when Hanna quietly says: "I'm already looking forward to Heidesee... you can see a lot more stars there..."*  
*hears Jonas say: "Yes, you can forget seeing stars in cities..."*  
*knows starry nights from the small town he's from but wouldn’t want to exchange Berlin for Lychen right now*  
*is quiet for some time and prefers listening to the others*

Matteo:  
*reaches for David's right hand with his free left hand and loosely entwines their fingers*  
*has his right arm around David and his hand somewhere on his hip/thigh*  
*also closes his eyes and relaxes*  
*opens them again when Hanna and Jonas talk and turns his head slightly to look over to them*  
But on the other hand Heidesee can sometimes be eerily quiet... but probably not if we show up there with 11 people...

David:  
*smiles when Matteo entwines their fingers and tenderly pulls on his hair before continuing to play with it*  
*laughs quietly at Matteo's words*  
True... then the quiet in Heidesee will probably be over...  
*hears Jonas groan: "God, yes, I can already hear Kiki calling for Carlos military-style!"*  
*hears Hanna: "Nonsense, it's not that bad... you guys are much worse when it comes to some made-up competitions..."*  
*grins slightly and asks*  
Made-up competitions? Who can jump the farthest into the lake from the jetty or what?  
*hears Hanna again: "Exactly! Or who can burp the loudest or... hold their breath under water the longest?"*  
*has to quietly laugh at Hanna's last suggestion and think of the first kiss with Matteo*  
*quietly murmurs*  
Well Matteo and I are the best when it comes to "holding our breaths under water"...  
*pulls their entwined fingers to his lips and kisses them briefly*

Matteo:  
*grins at Jonas' words and can already imagine that Hanna will defend her immediately*  
*laughs quietly when she really immediately does*  
*was just about to open his mouth to say that the competitions are a lot of fun and that she should join in one day when she says the thing about holding the breath*  
*immediately feels a fluttering in his stomach and looks up at David*  
*smiles at him lovingly and quietly says*  
Absolutely the best... and you win every time...  
*hears Hanna laugh quietly and Jonas ask: "Umm... did we miss something?"*

David:  
*also smiles pretty lovingly when Matteo looks at him and shakes his head*  
The first time you were distracted... that didn't count...  
*laughs quietly and would really love to kiss him right now but can't reach him and therefore only tenderly runs his hand from his hair over his cheek*  
*barely registers Jonas' question but then can hear both Jonas and Hanna laughing and how Jonas answers his own question: "Seems like it..."*  
*only reluctantly looks away from Matteo, but then grins at Jonas and Hanna and explains*  
Let's put it this way: Matteo and I have a special connection to holding our breaths...  
*laughs quietly and hears Hanna giggle: "I still don't get it..."*

Matteo:  
*laughs quietly*  
The second time as well...  
*only reluctantly looks away from him as well, but does so when David looks away and looks over*  
*grins even more at David's explanation and looks at Hanna and Jonas*  
*sees Jonas grimace in confusion: "Huh, I don't understand anything, anymore..."*  
*grins slightly*  
You don't have to understand everything, my friend! Some things simply stay between David and me...  
*then hears Hanna: "Aww... that's sort of cute..."*  
*laughs and shrugs one shoulder as well as he can*

David:  
*smiles when Matteo says that some things stay between them and tenderly cards through his hair*  
*also laughs quietly when Hanna says that it's cute and shakes his head*  
*wouldn't really refer to himself and Matteo as cute*  
*grinningly asks*  
Cute? We're not cute but... totally manly and stuff...  
*hears Jonas: "Yeah, right... manly and strong and brave... and sappy"*  
*laughs again*  
Exactly... fits together quite well...  
*hears Hanna determinedly say: "... and cute!"*  
*laughs again and drops it*

Matteo:  
*has to laugh when David claims that they aren't cute*  
*shakes his head about the discussion*  
Manly and cute also fits together...  
*then turns around and scoots up a little to look at David*  
*grins at him wickedly*  
You are cute!  
*then quickly kisses him*  
*hears Hanna laugh and say "awww"*  
*turns around again to lie back down*

David:  
*groans and laughs when apparently Matteo stabs him in the back as well*  
*looks at him questioningly when he turns around and grins at him like that*  
*squeezes his eyes shut in embarrassment and laughs when he hears his words and groans again*  
*gets kissed and then parrots Hanna's "awww"*  
*keeps a hold of Matteo and keeps him close when he wants to turn around again to kiss him properly*  
*quietly grumbles into the kiss*  
Great now I'm embarrassed... now we have to kiss until they change the topic so that I don't have to say anything...  
*tenderly runs his fingers over the back of Matteo's neck*

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly when David parrots Hanna*  
*would make a joke that Hanna has made it into the inner circle if David wouldn't have /such/ a hold of him*  
*returns the kiss still grinning*  
*laughs out loud at his mumbling*  
Oh now... how awful...  
*kisses him again until he hears Jonas: "Okay, change of topic! How much making out in front of your friends is too much making out?"*  
*pulls away from David grumbling and looks at Jonas*  
Well, you still owe me at least 100 hours, my friend...  
*waves his hand around between Hanna and Jonas*

David:  
*has to grin at Matteo's comment but gets serious again when they keep kissing and even forgets a little that Hanna and Jonas are still there*  
*but then sighs quietly at Jonas' comment and when Matteo pulls away*  
*laughs quietly at Matteo's words and hears Hanna say with a shrug: "Well, he's right about that..."*  
*and then Jonas: "Dude, no way that it's 100 hours!"*  
*grins*  
Well, even if it were only 50, now there are maybe 2 minutes of it gone... you can already look forward to the next couple of weeks...

Matteo:  
*grins broadly when Hanna agrees with him*  
You see…  
*then hears Jonas and murmurs*  
It is 100 hours.  
*grins even broader at David’s words and nods enthusiastically*  
*Jonas laughs and says: “I see, three against one… that will be fun on holiday…”*  
Yep, pretty sure… but maybe we should get going?  
*looks at David questioningly*

David:  
*laughs at Jonas’ worry*  
Oh, I’m sure it won’t be that bad… we’ll slowly prepare you for it until then…  
*hears Jonas laugh as well: “That almost sounds like a threat!”*  
*continues with a threatening tone of voice: “We’ll slowly but surely turn you mad…”*  
*grinningly shakes his head*  
*looks at Matteo when he asks if they want to leave and nods immediately*  
*even though he did ultimately enjoy the evening, he enjoys the thought of being alone with Matteo again soon even more*  
*slowly pulls his hand out of his hair and hears Hanna: “Too bad… but we’ll repeat this, right?”*  
*waits for Matteo to pull away from him and then gets up*  
*nods at Hanna and smiles*  
Yes, I’d love to!  
*almost automatically wraps an arm around Matteo’s shoulder but lets go of him again because Hanna and Jonas got up to say their goodbyes*

Matteo:  
*pulls away from David to get up*  
*actually wants to wrap an arm around him immediately but lowers it again when Jonas and Hanna get up*  
*hugs them both*  
*gets hugged a little longer by Jonas and understands*  
*murmurs “everything’s good” before he pulls away*  
*says to Hanna*  
We’ll find our way out… you two stay here and be some more sappy…  
*grins and reaches for David’s hand*  
*they go through Hanna’s house to their bikes*  
*unlocks his bike and quickly glances at his phone to see how late it is*  
*sees that it’s past midnight and then looks at the date*  
Shit… I missed it!  
*sees David’s puzzled look when he pushes his bike next to his’*  
Could we pretend for a moment that it’s still the 15th?

David:  
*sees Matteo hug Hanna and Jonas and despite the nice rest of the evening feels a slight sting when he watches Jonas and Matteo*  
*quickly lowers his gaze but then gets hugged by Hanna and Jonas, which surprises him a little*  
*but returns the hug and says his goodbyes*  
*grins at Matteo’s words, lifts his hand again to say goodbye and follows him to their bikes*  
*lets go of Matteo’s hand to unlock his bike and then pushes it next to Matteo who is putting his phone away again*  
*was just about to ask him if they are going to sleep at Matteo’s place or his place when he hears Matteo’s words*  
*looks at him puzzled, grins slightly and shrugs*  
I don’t have a sense of time right now, anyways… so sure, of course, if you want…  
*laughs quietly*  
Why? Did I forget or miss something important?

Matteo:  
*grins slightly when David doesn’t know what it’s about*  
*already knows that he’s not the best when it comes to dates*  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
Oh yeah…  
*lifts his bike’s kickstand with his foot and simply starts pushing the bike*  
*sees David push his bike next to him*  
Well, now yesterday, 3 months ago was the first Abi-prank meeting…  
*grins slightly at him from the side*

David:  
*lifts his eyebrows in confusion when Matteo confirms that he forgot something and then has to start pushing his bike as well, to catch up with him*  
And what?  
*thinks hard about what was on the 15th but he just can’t think of anything*  
*then hears his words and needs a moment for the words to make sense – the Abi-prank meeting they never went to because they smoked and talked for the first time*  
*also grins at Matteo and meets his gaze*  
You remembered the date!?  
*finds it so incredibly adorable that for a moment his heart starts to beat a little faster*

Matteo:  
*smiles a little sheepishly at his question and shrugs one shoulder*  
Yeah… I also remembered that you were wearing all black and that you barely exchanged three words with me…  
*then grins at him*  
Incredibly romantic of me, huh?  
*slightly wiggles his eyebrows*  
We could have a joint to celebrate but I don’t have anything with me…

David:  
*briefly presses his lips together and smiles*  
*tilts his head slightly*  
Hey, I definitely said more than three words…  
*gets a little more serious when he grins and wiggles his eyebrows*  
*shrugs and quietly says*  
It really is somehow romantic that you remembered the date…  
*only laughs briefly when he mentions smoking and says*  
We’ll do that on 15th of March next year…  
*silently continues pushing his bike next to Matteo for a while and looks at him from the side every once in a while, his thoughts going back to that one evening three months ago*  
*eventually quietly says*  
You made me nervous, back then, do you even know that?

Matteo:  
*only grins, squeezes one eye shut and uses his thumb and index finger to show him how little it was*  
*then smiles slightly and shrugs one shoulder*  
You know that I’m good with dates…  
*nods and laughs*  
Yes, next year…  
*then continues pushing his bike*  
*briefly wonders if they couldn’t also ride their bikes now*  
*but somehow enjoys simply walking with David pushing their bikes*  
*looks over at him when he talks again*  
*is surprised*  
Yeah? I thought you found me incredibly annoying and only wanted free weed…  
*then laughs silently*  
You also made me nervous… I was talking quite a lot of nonsense.

David:  
*nods at Matteo’s question and only looks at him a little indignantly when he mentions weed for free*  
You asked questions… you immediately got personal… and… you kept looking at me the entire time… that made me nervous… especially your looks… I did ask myself…  
*stops and thinks for a moment if he should really say it but then smiles at Matteo and shrugs*  
I did ask myself if we were flirting at that moment and I kept thinking that I have to be cool to not appear stupid in front of you… and then Sara came and it was obvious that you were already taken. Then I thought I only imagined all of that…  
*grins slightly*  
I think we /both/ said a lot of nonsense…

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly and a little embarrassed*  
I couldn’t look away… sorry…  
*shrugs one shoulder*  
I simply wanted to get to know you…  
*thinks back to that evening, how good David looked, how he was looking at him, how he kept thinking a thousand times that he’s making a fool of himself but his mouth still wouldn’t stop talking*  
*slightly shakes his head at his next words*  
I tried… to flirt I mean… but you didn’t make it easy for me…  
*grimaces slightly when he mentions Sara*  
Yes, the thing with Sara wasn’t too great of me…  
*but then also grins slightly*  
Mostly me… you were pretty cool…

David:  
*laughs quietly when Matteo apologizes for not being able to look away and murmurs quietly and lovingly*  
I noticed…  
*smiles a little guiltily when Matteo says that he didn’t make it easy for him*  
Back then my plan was still to not let anyone at the new school get close to me… well slowly but surely you shot that down…  
*grins a little and bumps his front wheel against Matteo’s*  
*then laughs quietly*  
I think it’s somehow awesome that we both thought of ourselves as completely uncool and of the other as pretty cool…  
*has to think about how unfamiliar Matteo was only three months ago and how familiar they now are with each other and finds it a little surreal that they have known each other for only three months*

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly and grins at him*  
And so you thought I just tell him that I have killed my parents, then he’ll surely leave me alone?  
*laughs slightly*  
Maybe the secret is that we really are both uncool and only cool together?  
*retaliates by bumping his wheel into David’s*  
*keeps pushing his bike in silence for a while*  
It’s totally unreal, isn’t it? That it’s only been three months? Seems longer to me, somehow…

David:  
*also grins*  
I was just overwhelmed… I couldn’t have known that this wouldn’t deter you…  
*then smiles at Matteo’s theory about coolness*  
I like the thought… has to be some truth to it.  
*stops for a moment when Matteo says the exact thing he had just been thinking and laughs quietly*  
Fuck, get out of my thoughts!  
*takes one hand off the handlebar and tenderly pulls Matteo toward him by his neck to kiss him on the mouth briefly but tenderly – he simply had to do it right now*  
*laughs again quietly and lets go of him*  
*explains*  
I was really just thinking the exact same thing… that it’s only been three months ago… and somehow you were still a total stranger in that moment… and now… it’s somehow totally surreal…  
*sighs quietly and briefly looks down at the ground with a broad grin on his face*

Matteo:  
*laughs again quietly*  
I didn’t know that, either…  
*looks a little surprised when he stops and when he hears his words*  
*also stops*  
*then gets pulled into a kiss and grins*  
*listens to him and smiles*  
*reaches for him and pulls him closer again by his jacket to kiss him again*  
*quietly asks*  
Surreal? Surreal, good, right?  
*keeps his hand on his jacket and quietly says*  
We have been through enough crap for three years, haven’t we?

David:  
*gets pulled into another kiss by Matteo and closes his eyes*  
*smiles when he hears Matteo’s question, opens them again and nods*  
*murmurs an affirmation*  
Surreal good… very good…  
*puts his forehead against Matteo’s when he realizes that he didn’t let go of his jacket and nods at his next words*  
For at least three years… if not five… or ten…  
*hasn’t stopped smiling this entire time and then pulls Matteo into a hug using the arm that isn’t holding the bike*  
*puts his head on his shoulder, takes a deep breath and enjoys the closeness and familiarity*  
*eventually murmurs very quietly*  
I’m really happy… with you…

Matteo:  
*smiles when he hears David’s answer*  
Well then that’s good...  
*closes his eyes when David puts his forehead against his’*  
*murmurs*  
At least…  
*then feels David’s arm around him and lets go of his own bike*  
*hears the clatter when it hits the ground but doesn’t care and simply wraps both arms around David*  
*audibly draws his breath in when he hears his words and can’t believe once again that he got so lucky and found David*  
*kisses his head, whatever he can reach and murmurs back*  
Me too… very much…

David:  
*flinches a little when he hears the clatter of Matteo’s bike but then doesn’t think about it further when he feels that Matteo has let go of it to hug him with both arms*  
*feels his heartbeat pick up when Matteo returns his words and he feels Matteo kissing his head*  
*also lets go of his bike now, albeit a little more carefully than Matteo so that it might lean on his hip at least for some time and wraps both arms around him and presses him closer*  
*searches for his lips and kisses him tenderly*

Matteo:  
*kisses him back and moves one hand to put it on David’s neck*  
*but then wraps his entire arm around David’s neck, after all*  
*they stay like that for quite some time, making out on the sidewalk*  
*when they finally pull apart they only pull apart a tiny bit*  
*smiles slightly*  
Okay, race you to bed? My place or yours, Mr. Schreibner?

David:  
*can’t really tell which one of them ultimately pulls away from the kiss first but feels pretty light and happy right now and keeps smiling to himself when they finally do*  
*grins at Matteo’s challenge and pulls away from him a little more*  
*thinks for a moment and realizes that the flatshare is a little closer than his place and therefore says*  
Your place, Mr. Florenzi…  
*gets on his bike, which surprisingly is still leaning on his hip, and waits for Matteo to get on his bike*  
*starts to cycle and naturally wins*

*a little later they’re lying in Matteo’s bed – his head resting on Matteo’s naked chest and his index finger drawing small circles onto his chest and stomach – and he recalls the evening again*  
*somehow feels like from an emotional point of view a lot has happened, from his fear of meeting Jonas and his minority complexes in relation to Jonas, followed by Matteo’s coming out to Jonas, Jonas’ apology and the following conversation, just normal conversations amongst friends and finally even a conversation about being transgender, something he never thought he would be able to ever discuss so openly in a “bigger” group – and of course the culmination: Matteo’s and his’ conversation about the three-months-anniversary of their first conversation*  
*thinks that he could never have ended the evening so relaxed had Matteo not admitted to Jonas that he used to have a crush on him and that there only was understanding from everyone because ultimately, Matteo, as well as everyone else, had been so open*  
*smiles slightly at the thought of how brave Matteo was but still worries for a second that Matteo had only told Jonas so that he (David) would feel better and gets a little more serious*  
*at some point carefully asks*  
Was it very hard for you to tell Jonas that you used to have a crush on him?  
*holds his breath for a moment because he doesn’t know if the question was too personal or too private but somehow he simply spoke without really thinking about it beforehand*

Matteo:  
*afterwards is lying in bed with David and is playing with his hair*  
*is happy and sluggish and tired, as always after sex*  
*closes his eyes and immediately opens them again when he hears David’s question*  
*hums slightly and thinks*  
*figures that the answer is somehow yes and no and doesn’t really know how to say it*  
Hmmm, less than I thought… but somehow it was…  
*swallows and then continues*  
I no longer felt like it was some dark secret or anything like that… but I can’t really talk about my feelings that well… especially not when I’m the center of attention like that…  
*slightly shrugs one shoulder*  
But somehow it was also good… at least now it’s off the table…

David:  
*grimaces slightly when he hears that it was difficult for Matteo but then continues listening and tries to understand*  
*slowly nods against his chest and wraps his arm around him*  
*thinks that Matteo’s always able to talk to him about his feelings quite well, but can understand completely that he doesn’t like to be the center of attention*  
*is really happy that the reason why it was hard for him wasn’t Jonas himself*  
*briefly kisses his chest and says*  
I thought it was really brave of you. I don’t know if I would have been brave enough….  
*nods again when he says that at least now it’s off the table*  
*is quiet for a moment before quietly saying*  
It turned the whole evening around…  
*turns slightly and props his chin up on Matteo’s chest to look at him*  
*briefly presses his lips together, smiles briefly with a head shake and then says*  
I wasn’t expecting it at all… I never even considered that you could also tell him… but ultimately…  
*shrugs slightly*  
…ultimately your bravery was the reason for the evening getting more relaxed… that /I/ relaxed more…  
*laughs quietly*  
…which I never would have thought, by the way. If anyone had told me beforehand that you wanted to tell Jonas about it, I would have probably hid under the table and dug myself a tunnel to a safe hiding spot…natural catastrophe and all that…  
*gets serious again and kisses his chest*  
Anyways… thanks for telling him…  
*thinks that this, as well as the conversation that followed, was the thing that really made him lose the last bit of doubt that Jonas could currently be more important than him, but doesn’t say it because he doesn’t want Matteo to worry about it*

Matteo:  
*shakes his head when David says that he was brave*  
*shrugs one shoulder and buries his hand even deeper in David’s hair*  
I didn’t really think about it much, to be honest… it was the only way at that moment…  
*moves his hand with him when David turns around and leaves it in his hair*  
*but turns his head a little downward so that he can look at him*  
*smiles slightly when he says that it made him more relaxed*  
That’s why I did it…  
*gets serious when he’s talking about natural catastrophes and running away*  
Good that you didn’t do that… and that it helped…  
*runs a hand through his hair*  
By the way, I found it great that you were so willing to give him a chance… and when he apologized you also quickly made sure that it got more normal again… so not only me…  
*then swallows slightly and looks at him*  
Don’t know if I could do it… to act like that with a guy you used to have a crush on…

David:  
*smiles slightly and says*  
I think sometimes “not really thinking about it” is exactly the right thing to do…  
*shrugs when Matteo is talking about how he handled the situation*  
Well, he’s your best friend… it also sucks for you if it’s tense between us… and I felt like he was serious about the apology and that he could understand that I simply wasn’t feeling comfortable.  
*puts his head back on Matteo’s chest for a moment and murmurs*  
Besides…  
*briefly shakes his head and searches for words*  
…besides, I realized in that moment that you were fighting for /me/ and not for him… and you said that back then you were far from coming out, but then when it was about /me/, coming out somehow didn’t seem to be a problem for you anymore… and in that moment I somehow thought that those are two pretty crucial aspects where I’m one step ahead of Jonas….  
*lifts his head again, looks at Matteo and grins a little embarrassed*  
…aside from the fact that you’re with me and not with him…  
*draws on his chest again with his index finger*  
*then laughs quietly at his next words*  
I think it’s not very likely that you’ll ever meet Luis. As far as I know he still lives in Lychen and we don’t want to go there...

Matteo:  
*closely listens to David and can't help but smile when he talks about being one step ahead of Jonas*  
*grins slightly*  
Besides, you're much better-looking, you’re funnier and more intelligent and you don't want to study Politics and German... how boring is that, huh?  
*chuckles slightly and hopes to make David laugh as well*  
*then hears him talk about some guy in Lychen and realizes how strange that feels*  
*until now it was just something hypothetical but now there really is a guy*  
*swallows*  
And that's a good thing.... like I said, I wouldn’t be as chill as you...

David:  
*at first smiles but then grins broadly when Matteo lists all the things where he’s one step ahead of Jonas*  
*nods mock-serious and in confirmation but then has to laugh after all*  
Totally super mega boring... you bootlicker!  
*scoots up a little to kiss him briefly but only manages to reach his chin and grins again*  
*but then sees Matteo swallow and look somehow serious when he's talking about Luis, looks at him a little skeptically at first but then smirkingly tilts is head in provocation, sits up and sits down on Matteo's lap, puts his hands on either side of Matteo's head and says*  
Yes, you would be! Because there is absolutely not the slightest reason for you to be anything but chill, do you understand?

Matteo:  
*looks at him a little astonished when he repositions himself*  
*slightly draws up his eyebrows in question*  
*then has to smirk as well, when he hears what he says*  
Is that so... and what if this guy from Lychen is really, really funny and is also really good-looking or something like that?  
*shakes his head slightly*  
Then I can't promise anything... then I have to kill him, unfortunately.

David:  
*draws up his eyebrows in amusement when Matteo seems to doubt his words, shakes his head and quietly says*  
Then I'll still love you much, much more /or something like that/ and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if you killed him... only the fact that you would go to prison might burden me a little... but if you feel better, then please... go ahead...  
*shrugs and acts all indifferent*

Matteo:  
*laughs out loud when he hears his answer*  
Well aren't I lucky...  
*puts both hands around David's neck and pulls him closer*  
But it's true... prison would suck... then maybe I won't kill him, after all...  
*kisses him briefly and then looks at him again*  
*says a little more serious*  
Thanks... that you would care if I had to go to prison...  
*grins and kisses him again*

David:  
*lets Matteo pull him closer and nods with a satisfied grin*  
Good!  
*returns his kiss and the gaze that follows*  
*has to laugh when he hears his words and, while Matteo still kisses him, rolls off him and then pulls away from the kiss*  
You're welcome, you loon!  
*lies down on his back and folds his hands behind his head*  
So – and now we'll sleep!  
*grins slightly and waits for Matteo to agree and for him to turn off the light*  
Sleep tight, Florenzi

Matteo:  
*laughs when he rolls off him*  
Okay...  
*rolls on his side and turns off the light*  
*then scoots closer to David and wraps an arm around him*  
Dream of us, Schreibner, you loon...


	17. June 16, 2019 - New hero

**Sunday, 12:23 pm:**

**WhatsApp, Matteo/Jonas:**

Jonas, 12.23 pm:  
*sends a screenshot with a paragraph, that says something about testosterone*  
Good morning Luigi! Dude, does David really have to inject that shit all his life?

Matteo, 12:32 pm:  
Good morning. Yeah... Sadly there is no miracle cure yet, that makes his body produce it by itself.

Jonas, 1:35 pm:  
Damn, dude! That's really much more fierce than I thought.

Matteo, 1:36 pm:  
Yes, that is not nothing.

Jonas, 1:37 pm:  
You can tell David that he is my new hero.

Matteo, 1:38 pm:  
I don't know whether he will like that, but I'll be happy to tell him :-)

Jonas, 1:53 pm:  
I just read what can go wrong with such a surgery...  
*wide-eyed smiley*

Matteo, 1:57 pm:  
Shhhhhhh

Jonas, 1:58 pm:  
We don't talk about that?

Matteo, 1:59 pm:  
Noo

Jonas, 2:00 pm:  
Okay, I understand

Jonas, 2:13 pm:  
Does he want to get everything done?

Matteo, 2:14 pm:  
Jonas!

Jonas, 2:15 pm:  
Okay, okay... how is the sex then?

Matteo, 2:17 pm:  
*sends rolling eyes smiley*  
How is the sex with Hanna?

Jonas, 2:18 pm:  
Why so prude, Mister Florenzi? I like to tell how amazing the sex with Hanna is! :P

Matteo, 2:21 pm:  
The difference is that I don't want to know.

Jonas, 2:22 pm:  
Okay, okay, but... I mean...

Matteo, 2:25 pm:  
It doesn't matter to me, okay? Whatever there is or not...

Jonas, 2:26 pm:  
Okay


	18. June 18, 2019 - Bea, saviors and carrots

**Tuesday, 5:36 pm:**  
  
David:  
*he and Matteo are just returning from grocery shopping, each of them carrying a semi-heavy shopping bag, when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket*  
*groans briefly and tells Matteo*  
Hang on…  
*puts the bag on the ground and takes his phone out of his pocket*  
*smiles when he sees Bea’s number and briefly informs Matteo*  
My godmother…  
*answers the call and then picks the bag up again*  
Hey Bea!  
*continues walking but realizes quickly that walking with the heavy bag while simultaneously talking on the phone isn’t that easy and looks around for a bench or some wall or something*  
  
Matteo:  
*stops when David does and waits*  
*only nods when David informs him*  
*continues walking and notices David struggling and takes the bag from him*  
*silently pretends to collapse but then continues walking normally*  
  
Bea:  
David, my dear, hello! How nice that I was able to reach you, am I interrupting something?  
  
David:  
*protests a little at first when Matteo takes the bag from him because he doesn’t want Matteo to lug so much and then grins when he pretends to collapse*  
*shakes his head at his aunt’s question and laughs*  
You’re almost never interrupting… we’re just on our way to the flatshare… we’ve been grocery shopping…  
*briefly looks at Matteo to see if he can really manage carrying both bags*  
*then asks his aunt*  
How are you?  
  
Matteo:  
*grins very broadly at David*  
*but quickly sticks his tongue out at him when he looks over*  
  
Bea:  
Oh, everything’s great. I’m happy to hear you in such a good mood. But if you’re walking right now I’ll keep it brief: I wanted to invite you to my birthday, and, of course, Matteo as well if he wants to?  
  
David:  
*pulls a face at Matteo but then grins and turns his attention back to his aunt*  
*frantically tries to remember when Bea’s birthday is and is already planning on telling Matteo the date so that he’ll remember it for him*  
*is happy that Matteo is also invited*  
I’ll just ask him, I’m sure he wants to…  
*grins and looks over at him again*  
*makes a distressed noise and asks a little ruefully*  
When was your birthday again? Sometime next month, right?  
*remembers that it’s always pretty warm*  
  
Matteo:  
*hears an ‘I’ll just ask him’ and perks up*  
*then shakes his head in mock exaggeration*  
*grins slightly but leaves David in peace, after all*  
  
Bea:  
It’s on July 19th, this year it’s a Friday, but I’ll celebrate on Saturday. But you’re welcome to stay the whole weekend, of course… and by the way, your parents aren’t coming in case that somehow convinces you to come.  
  
David:  
*laughs at the mention of his parents*  
Well then I’ll definitely come…  
*shakes his head and adds*  
No, but for your sake I would have endured them for a couple of hours, but if they’re not coming it’s more chill, of course…  
*repeats the date again so he won’t forget it*  
So your birthday is on July, 19th, but the party’s on July 20th.  
*feels like he forgot about something*  
*thinks for a moment and then suddenly remembers their holiday*  
Oh, no, hang on! Damn! That’s when we’re on holiday! We won’t be back in Berlin until the 21st…  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to David and can imagine what it’s about, an invitation to Fürstenberg*  
*then hears the date and immediately shakes his head*  
*was just about to nudge him when he remembers it himself*  
  
Bea:  
Oh, man, what a shame. And I was really hoping to finally meet your Matteo, and to see you again, of course. I’m so curious. Are you already busy when you come back or do you maybe want to come visit the weekend after?  
  
David:  
*smiles when she says that she finally wanted to meet /his/ Matteo and would also be happy for her to meet Matteo*  
*thinks for a moment about her question about the weekend after, but can’t really think of any plans*  
*but wants to make sure and ask again so tells Bea*  
Could you stay in line for a moment?  
*lowers his phone and turns to Matteo*  
*smiles slightly*  
Bea is inviting us to Fürstenberg on the weekend after our holiday. Do you want to go? And do we have time?  
*looks at him with puppy-dog eyes and hopes that he wants to come along*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks at him expectantly when he lowers his phone even though he already has an idea of what he’s going to ask*  
*grins slightly when he asks if “we” have time*  
Umm… sure I want to, I’m dying to meet all of your heroes… and plans, no, unless you have some short-notice doctor-thing on Friday, but then we’ll just go afterwards.  
*have finally arrived at the building of the flatshare and with a groan puts down the bags so that he can look for the key*  
  
Bea:  
Sure…  
*then hears David ask his boyfriend a little muffled but still well enough to understand everything*  
*immediately smiles when she hears him*  
*waits for David to tell her the good news and decides to keep it to herself that she heard Matteo*  
  
David:  
*smiles quite broadly when Matteo is talking about his heroes and is happy that he wants to go*  
*stops for a moment when he mentions doctors because he just remembered that the day after tomorrow he really has to talk to his doctor about the testo dosage and if he has to come back before or after their holiday because his usual appointment for the shots would be right when they’re on holiday*  
*but nods at Matteo’s words and smiles again*  
Good plan!  
*quickly kisses him on the mouth and puts his phone back to his ear*  
Bea?  
*sees Matteo unlock the door and tries to take one of the bags off him so that he doesn’t have to lug both of them up the stairs*  
We’re happy to visit you the weekend after and you can already think about what present you want to get so that we don’t buy something stupid…  
  
Bea:  
Oh, how nice! And you know me, boy, I already have everything I want. You spend money on train tickets, that’s enough present for me.  
  
Matteo:  
*refuses to let David take a bag*  
*but pushes David around so that he is holding the door open*  
*then grabs both bags and walks past David into the building and up the stairs*  
  
David:  
*grumbles at Bea’s words about the present and grumbles because Matteo won’t let him help*  
*then sighs at his aunt*  
Okay…  
*is probably going to draw something and get a bouquet of flowers once again*  
I suggest I’ll call you again once we know when we’ll arrive…  
*hurries up the stairs behind Matteo who is surprisingly fast*  
*wants to take the bag off him at least for the last few meters but doesn’t really have the chance to because he’s already almost all the way up*  
  
Bea:  
*laughs slightly when he grumbles*  
You know I’m happy about flowers and a drawing. See you soon, my dear! Have a nice rest of the day!  
  
Matteo:  
*puts the bags down again once he reaches the door and unlocks it*  
*wants to pick both of them up again but David is faster*  
*laughs*  
It doesn’t matter anymore now…  
*enters the apartment after him and lets the door fall shut*  
*follows him into the kitchen and puts the bag down on the counter*  
  
David:  
*says goodbye to Bea and puts the phone back in his pocket*  
*is just in time to grab one of the bags and carry it into the kitchen*  
*laughs at his words and shakes his head*  
Noo, I’m sure you would have collapsed on the last few meters…  
*puts the bag on one of the stools and then steps behind Matteo at the counter and wraps his arms around him*  
*kisses his neck and murmurs*  
… and I can’t be responsible for that…  
*kisses him again and murmurs a little more quietly*  
Thanks for carrying them!  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and nods*  
I’m sure I would have, thanks my savior.  
*smiles when David wraps his arms around him and puts his hands over David’s*  
*laughs quietly*  
You’re welcome.  
*turns around in his arms and wraps his arms around David’s neck*  
So, I’m going to meet your godmother soon… anything I need to know?  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo turns around to him and nods at his statement*  
*thinks for a moment and then shakes his head*  
Nothing important… Bea is a registrar and lives in a small house with a garden in Fürstenberg… it’s somehow really quaint and full of stuff at her place… and she’s really cool, talks a lot and has always been there for me. Exactly what one imagines godmothers are like.  
*laughs again and says*  
I’m really happy that you’re coming along and that you’ll meet each other… maybe we should take Laura along – then I’d have all my saviors around me!  
*laughs quietly*  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles when he tells him about Bea*  
Sounds nice.  
*then laughs out loud*  
All of your saviors, huh? Maybe we should get this printed on t-shirts!  
*kisses him quickly*  
You don’t even have to be saved, you loon.  
  
David:  
*laughs at Matteo’s idea about the t-shirts*  
Oh yes, please! In trans colors!  
*smiles when he gets a kiss and pulls Matteo a little closer*  
*then hears his words and gets a little more serious but is still smiling a little bit*  
*has a firm conviction that Matteo has definitely saved him but knows that he would immediately disagree if he would tell him that*  
*therefore simply says*  
Not anymore…  
*smiles again and gives him another kiss*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs at his suggestion*  
Unfortunately those colors don’t suit me, at all…  
*tilts his head a little*  
*can imagine what David is thinking*  
*smiles at his answer*  
*kisses him back and then kisses him again*  
*then slightly nudges him with his nose*  
Okay… and now you can decide how I’ll save you from starvation… what do you want me to cook?  
  
David:  
*draws up his eyebrows in skepticism when Matteo says that the trans colors wouldn’t suit him and only says*  
I think you can wear anything!!  
*grins while he says it*  
*then gets another kiss and smiles when Matteo nudges him with his nose*  
*loosens his grip around him, lets go of him slowly and thinks*  
Hmmm… maybe that tarte you were talking about? We put the ingredients for it on the list, didn’t we?  
*turns to the bags and starts to unpack the things*  
*turns his head back towards Matteo and says in a good mood*  
And you can decide what I should help you with!  
*has planned to look over Matteo’s shoulder while he cooks to maybe one day be able to cook, himself*  
  
Matteo:  
*only laughs and shakes his head*  
Liar  
*nods about the tarte*  
Yep… but I’ll need the recipe for that, I can’t make it by heart…  
*only shakes his head when he says that he wants to help*  
*grins*  
You can print out the recipe for me. And then you can sit down over there so that I have something pretty to look at.  
*laughs and slightly nudges him with his hip when they want to put something in the fridge at the same time*  
*sees David’s disapproving look*  
Okay, okay, if there’s something you can help with I’ll tell you, but I haven’t made the tarte that often yet…  
  
David:  
*looks at Matteo disapprovingly when he says that he’s not allowed to help but nudges him back with his hip*  
If you won’t let me help I’ll never learn and then you’ll have to cook for me for the rest of your life!  
*but then nods satisfied when he says that he’s allowed to help, after all, and grins*  
Yeah!  
*then turns toward the door and says*  
I’ll just go and print out the recipe…  
*has already left the kitchen but sticks his head back in*  
Oh and could you and your super-brain do me a favor and remember Bea’s birthday? Would be really nice if I wouldn’t forget it next year for a change…  
*grins again and then disappears*  
*briefly wonders if it was July 19th or 20th and hopes that Matteo has paid attention*  
  
Matteo:  
*theatrically clutches his chest*  
Oh now, how horrible!  
*then nods when David says he’ll go print the recipe*  
Yes, in a big font, please!  
*wants to already wipe down the counter and goes over to the sink when David sticks his head back in*  
*laughs at his request and nods*  
*then calls after him*  
The 19th, by the way! How did you remember birthdays before you met me??  
*rinses the rag and then wipes down the counter*  
  
David:  
*didn’t answer Matteo’s question and instead went into his room to print out the recipe in a big font*  
*a short while later returns to the kitchen, where Matteo has already prepared everything, and puts the recipe down for him*  
*then takes a carrot, simply because it was lying around, leans his back against the counter and starts to absentmindedly turn it around in his hands*  
*returns to Matteo’s question from a minute ago and says a little bitterly and sarcastically*  
My mother always reminded me about family birthdays – of course always with a reproachful undertone why I couldn’t manage to remember them myself…  
*didn’t have many friends whose birthdays were worth remembering*  
*continues*  
At some point I even wrote them down but it’s no use… then I forget to look at the note.  
*grins slightly and then shrugs*  
And now I have Laura and you for the dates…  
*then looks over to see what Matteo is doing and waits for instructions*  
*puts the carrot back to the others*  
  
Matteo:  
*splays out the recipe*  
Thanks…  
*then looks at it to see what has to be done and starts*  
*rolls his eyes when David tells him about his mother*  
Damn I really want to meet her one day… it’s not important to you that they like me, right?  
*shakes his head disapprovingly*  
*but then grins slightly and nods*  
I’m happy to remind you.  
*points to the carrots*  
You can peel them if you want…  
  
David:  
*laughs when Matteo asks about his mother and shrugs*  
If one day they annoy me so much that I want to completely terminate all contact with them, then you’re welcome to rage and riot as much as you want…  
*looks around for a peeler and sees that Matteo has already put one out*  
…but she would complain about it to Laura and I’d be sorry about it for Laura…  
*starts peeling the carrot bot isn’t really happy with what he’s doing*  
*tries something different that works better*  
…whereas… Laura can actually defend herself pretty well… so  
*grins slightly*  
…rage and riot as much as you want.  
*is finished with the first carrot and is quite happy with the result*  
*holds it out to Matteo*  
There still has to go some at the top and the bottom, right?  
  
Matteo:  
*hums slightly when he says that it wouldn’t be completely okay*  
No, no, then I’ll rather hold back… but only a little.  
*had already turned his attention to some other vegetable and didn’t really pay attention to what David has been doing*  
*then looks at the carrot he’s holding out to him*  
Ummm, yes? You can chop off the ends but the rest has to be peeled…  
*then watches him peel for a moment and realizes how his heart skips a beat because he does it so incredibly complicated*  
Noo…  
*laughs slightly and takes the peeler and the carrot out of his hands*  
Look, like this…  
*briefly shows him how to do it faster and more efficiently*  
  
David:  
*grins slightly and says*  
A little bit is okay…  
*wonders when Matteo and his parents will meet in the first place – probably only when it can’t be avoided anymore, at all*  
*nods about chopping off the ends*  
*then eyes it and realizes that there really is some peel left*  
*was just about to remove it when Matteo takes the carrot and peeler from him*  
*only briefly looks at the carrot and realizes quickly how Matteo is holding the carrot and peeler but then only looks at Matteo and has to smile*  
*somehow can’t tear his gaze away from him because he looks so incredibly good when he’s so focused*  
  
Matteo:  
*has peeled the carrot, puts the peeler back down on the counter and reaches for the knife to chop off the ends*  
And voila… the carrot’s ready!  
*holds it out to him and only then feels like David isn’t really focused*  
*looks at him and lifts his eyebrows*  
What?  
  
David:  
*hears that Matteo has finished peeling the carrot and only nods*  
*grins slightly when Matteo looks at him and lifts his eyebrows*  
*shrugs and acts all innocent*  
Nothing…  
*quickly presses a kiss on his mouth and keeps grinning*  
I just like looking at you when you’re so concentrated…  
  
Matteo:  
*lifts his eyebrows again when he hears his “nothing”*  
*but then gets kissed and has to smile automatically*  
*feels a strange flutter in his stomach when he hears David’s words but shakes his head*  
You like looking at me when I concentrate on peeling carrots?  
*slightly tilts his head*  
Is that a new fetish we have to talk about? Is that exclusive to concentrating on vegetables or does that also entail other things? Like, for example, fruit? Or spreads?  
  
David:  
*grins and nods at his question about the carrots*  
Exactly like that…  
*but then gets more and more skeptical when he hears his other questions, pffs once, tilts his head and says sulkily*  
Haha…  
*looks at Matteo reproachfully, turns away from him and reaches for another carrot and the peeler*  
*does it the way Matteo has showed him – because he DID pay attention – and is happy about the fact that it’s really working better this way*  
*ignores Matteo*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly when David turns away sulkily*  
Oh, come on… you can tell me…  
*continues doing his thing with the vegetable he’s occupied with*  
Is it exclusive to the kitchen or other things as well? What about when I concentrate on tidying up?  
*turns around and only sees David’s back who is ignoring him*  
Or to making the bed?  
*no reaction*  
Vacuuming?  
*still nothing*  
*puts his peeler down and steps behind David*  
And what about… when I concentrate on you?  
*slowly wraps his arms around his stomach and puts his head against his shoulder*  
*kisses his neck and then his ear*  
*whispers*  
Come on…  
  
David:  
*finds it hard to ignore Matteo completely but is incredibly happy with himself that he really manages to ignore him while also perfectly peeling two more carrots while Matteo is talking some nonsense*  
*then feels Matteo step behind him and is still able to ignore his question but realizes that his concentration on the carrots is subsiding somewhat*  
*unfortunately has to stop peeling when he feels Matteo’s arms around his stomach and his head on his shoulder because he’s simply so in love with this idiot and simply can’t manage to ignore him when he’s that close /and/ also starts kissing his neck and his ear*  
*eventually grumbles quietly*  
You’ve ruined my Matteo-concentrating-sight… go away!  
*but contrary to his statement leans slightly against him*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs quietly at his grumbling*  
Sorry… won’t happen again… I promise…  
*ignores his “go away” and instead kisses his neck again*  
Let me make it up to you, ok?  
*kisses up his neck wherever he can reach*  
*murmurs quietly*  
Do you still want me to go away?  
  
David:  
*briefly closes his eyes when Matteo starts kissing up his neck and tilts his head a little so that he has better access*  
*has to grin when Matteo asks him if he still wants him to go away and makes a grumbling noise*  
*puts the carrot and the peeler down because now he can’t think about peeling carrots anymore and slowly turns around – which proves to be difficult as he’s half stuck between Matteo and the counter*  
*puts his arms around Matteo’s neck and tilts his head again so that Matteo can continue kissing him there*  
*runs one hand through Matteo’s hair and mumbles*  
All right… you can continue…  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly when David only grumbles*  
*already knows this grumble and continues*  
*but then pulls away slightly when David turns around*  
*looks at him challengingly and grins in triumph when he tilts his head*  
*is already kissing his neck again even before David gives him permission to do so*  
*kisses up to his ear and murmurs*  
We could also cook later…  
  
David:  
*presses even closer to Matteo when he starts kissing his neck again*  
*still has his eyes closed, one hand buried in the hair on his neck and at some point slips his other hand under Matteo’s shirt at his back and tenderly runs his hand over his bare skin*  
*gets goosebumps when Matteo kisses up to his ear because it tickles a little and tilts his head slightly so that he can also kiss Matteo’s neck*  
*grins slightly when he hears Matteo’s words and kisses up his neck, up his chin until he finally finds his mouth*  
*pulls him even closer while kissing him properly, then pushes away from the counter and takes a step towards the kitchen door together with Matteo*  
*briefly pulls away from the kiss and says a little breathlessly*  
Now I can’t concentrate on peeling carrots anymore, anyways…  
  
Matteo:  
*feels slight, pleasant goosebumps when David’s hand slips under his shirt*  
*kisses him back and stumbles backwards when David pushes off the counter*  
*grins as if he had just won the lottery when he hears David’s words*  
*murmurs*  
That’s it…  
*grabs his hand and quickly pulls him into his room*


	19. June 20, 2019 - Mister David Schreibner

**Thursday, 4:07 pm:**  
  
Matteo:  
*arrives at the ping-pong tables with his bike and notices that Carlos and Abdi are already there*  
*Jonas cancelled in the ok.cool chat short-notice*  
*greets the guys by lifting his hand*  
Hey...  
*gets off his bike and leans it against the fence*  
*only notices Carlos and Abdi standing there frozen and staring at him after he has turned around*  
*lifts his eyebrows in question*  
Is something wrong?  
*sees Carlos frown: "Didn't you forget something"?*  
Huh? I brought my paddle!  
*holds it up as evidence*  
*sees Abdi shake his head: "Noo... something's missing... hang on, hang on, I'll remember in a minute..."*  
  
Abdi:  
*exchanges a look with Carlos who is already grinning and shaking his head: "He doesn't get it..."*  
*sees Matteo's confused look and answers Carlos*  
Maybe he thinks he's got him with him...  
*hears Carlos laugh "he probably thinks they’re chained together and he’ll automatically be with him anyways…”*  
*grins at Carlos*  
Exactly!  
*hears Matteo: "Ey guys! Could you maybe enlighten me?!?"*  
*eventually does him the favor*  
Brudi, we're talking about your better half! I don't even remember the last time we saw you alone... did you lose David on your way or what?  
  
Matteo:  
*tilts his head and looks half indignant but also half proud at the two of them*  
My better half had to go pick something up... he'll join us later...  
*shakes his head and pokes both of them*  
*Carlos laughs and looks at Abdi: "He's somehow different without him, right?"*  
*Abdi nods theatrically: "Oh yes, definitely more irritated... it doesn't agree with him".*  
You are both stupid...  
*but then grins slightly because he actually also thinks that everything's better with David*  
*hears Abdi: "Awww, and there it is again..." and sees Carlos nod: "The David look"!*  
*slightly kicks both of them in the shin and points at the table*  
Let's play before you lose your minds completely!  
  
Carlos:  
*kicks Matteo back and grins*  
Ey, Brudi you definitely have a David look! You can't deny it!  
*gets ready at the ping-pong table and asks*  
Round-the-table with only three people during this heat?!  
*sees Abdi shrug: "Yes, but two against one also sucks... unless it’s both of us against Matteo... he's better than us"!*  
*looks at Abdi indignantly*  
Nonsense! I'll win against you easily! Come on! Go over!  
*sees Abdi position himself next to Matteo and hears him say: "Talking about the David look! Did you know that you also have a Kiki look?! It looks like this..."*  
*sees Abdi trying to look like someone in love and pretends to throw his paddle at Abdi*  
Dude, never in my life did I look like that!  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and shrugs*  
Maybe...  
*actually doesn't think it's a bad thing that he has a David look*  
*then laughs loudly when Carlos is so sure he'll win*  
Dude, we'll destroy you!  
*nods exaggeratedly when Abdi says that he has a Kiki look*  
*laughingly shakes his head at Abdi's attempt*  
Noo, noo, more like this...  
*opens his eyes wide and looks into the distance*  
*Carlos complains again: "I've never looked like that, either... and even if I did, your David look is much worse"!*  
*pffs extremely loud and shrugs*  
And even if... I stand by it... he deserves a special look...  
*hears Abdi and Carlos awwww simultaneously*  
And now let's play before Abdi starts to mimic Kiki.  
  
Abdi:  
*he and Matteo don't play against Carlos for very long because Carlos was losing big-time and Carlos decided that he'd rather play round-the-table despite the heat*  
*gets kicked out first and then complains all the time asking when David will finally be there so that they can play two against two*  
*hears Carlos: "Stop complaining... or at least let Luigi teach you the David look for all your complaining"!*  
*pffs and stops complaining*  
  
David:  
*is glad that he had an appointment at the district office and therefore didn't have to wait for long*  
*is somehow still pretty shaky and happy and embarrassingly has taken out his new ID two times to look at it again when he had to wait because of a red traffic light*  
*can somehow still not believe the fact that it says "David Schreibner" and "male" on it and thinks that it looks fantastic and right and that it feels right*  
*wants to show his ID to every passer-by because he's so proud and happy*  
*can already see Matteo, Carlos and Abdi at the ping-pong tables from a distance – the three of them back to playing round-the-table and pedals a little faster on the last few meters to be there faster*  
*sees Abdi notice him and Matteo turn around and smile at him*  
*jumps off his bike with a broad grin, only throws the bike against the fence, jogs up to Matteo and throws himself at him*  
*jumps up and down two times from happiness and then squeezes him close to him*  
*hears Carlos: "Dude, if only Kiki would be so happy just because we haven't seen each other for one hour..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*turns around when Abdi looks past him and sees David*  
*has to smile automatically*  
*is pretty surprised that David is so careless with his beloved bike but at first doesn't think much of it*  
*laughs when he greets him so fiercely and hugs him back*  
*was just about to make a similar joke to David when Carlos does it at his expense*  
*therefore is a little defensive*  
*pointedly checks the time*  
It has been 1 hour and umm... 37 minutes!  
*hears Carlos laugh: "Well, then...!"*  
*is already looking back at David*  
But you're definitely in a better mood than earlier... did you win the lottery?  
  
David:  
*lets go of Matteo when he checks the time but loosely wraps his arm around his hip*  
*laughs at his words and Carlos' answer*  
*beams at Matteo when he asks if he's won the lottery*  
Even better!  
*sees his astonished look and pulls away from him briefly to take his wallet from his pocket*  
*suddenly feels a little shaky again and takes a deep breath before taking out his new ID*  
*doesn't really notice Carlos and Abdi curiously coming closer but only happily glances at the ID again handing it to Matteo*  
*laughs quietly*  
At least on paperwork it's official now!  
*unnecessarily points at his name and at "male" and observes Matteo's reaction*  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly but is still confused*  
Even better?  
*looks even more confused when he takes out his wallet*  
*wasn't really serious about winning money*  
*but then sees him pull out his ID and can now imagine what's about to happen*  
*beams even before David hands him the ID*  
*sees the name "David Schreibner" and "male" and beams even more*  
Yeah, finally!  
*presses a kiss onto his mouth and then hugs him tightly*  
Congratulations!!!  
*then hears Abdi ask a little confused: "Uhm, could someone enlighten us"?*  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo beam even before looking at the ID and knows in that moment that Matteo has already guessed what it's about*  
*then sees him beam even more and beams with him*  
*returns his kiss and the hug and murmurs*  
I'm so happy...  
*leaves his arm around Matteo's hip when he pulls away to enlighten Carlos and Abdi*  
*carefully takes the ID from Matteo and holds it out to the two of them *  
*sees Abdi take it, look at it briefly, smile and hand it over to Carlos and hears him ask: "Brand new?! I thought you already had one..."*  
*shakes his head*  
Nope, brand new... sometimes bureaucracy can really take forever...  
*slightly rolls his eyes but continues to beam*  
*gets hit on the shoulder by Abdi: "Well neat, Brudi! Congratulations!*  
*thanks him and looks at Carlos who is staring at the ID in confusion: "Huh? I don't get it... did you lose your old one or what"?*  
  
Matteo:  
*leaves his arm around David's shoulders*  
*is happy when Abdi is happy for David and grins*  
*then looks at Carlos and doesn't know if his question is serious or if he's joking*  
*shakes his head and hits Carlos on the forehead*  
Think about it, dude!  
*sees Carlos look at him indignant: "What?"*  
Man, it's his first ID that says "David Schreibner"!  
*sees how Carlos slowly understands and how his face lights up: "Ahhhh of course! Congratulations, man, was about time! What was your name before, anyways"?*  
*feels how he immediately wants to step in front of David and protect him*  
*doesn't really know why but simply knows that this question is hurtful*  
*hits Carlos on his shoulder quite hard*  
Just shut up if you don't know what you're talking about, Carlos.  
  
David:  
*was just about to answer Carlos when Matteo explains it to him*  
*carefully takes the ID out of Carlos' hand because somehow he feels like he doesn't really know how to appreciate it and wonders if Carlos has even the slightest idea about what kind of bureaucracy he had to go through over the past few months to get to where he wants to be*  
*smiles anyways when Carlos congratulates him but feels like the smile freezes on his face when he hears Carlos' question*  
*doesn't really know what to say and takes a tiny step back and tightly holds onto Matteo*  
*is quite glad that Matteo answers for him and when eventually Abdi says: "Dude, you don't ask something like that! He wants to put his old life behind him and so on... right? Right, David?"*  
*only nods insecurely and then sees Carlos turn toward him: "Ey, sorry, Brudi, wasn't really thinking about it... I didn't want to ruin your good mood or anything..."*  
*shakes his head and murmurs*  
It's okay...  
*then briefly glances at his ID in his hand and automatically has to smile again*  
*thinks that he doesn't really want to get his mood ruined on a day like this*  
*presses a kiss on Matteo's cheeks before letting go of him*  
*asks the guys*  
Are we gonna play or what?  
*points his head towards the ping-pong table*  
  
Matteo:  
*tensely watches Carlos, and even more so when he feels David hold onto him tightly*  
*is grateful for Abdi telling Carlos again why what he said was out of line*  
*thinks it's also good that Carlos apologized*  
*gets a kiss on his cheek and is reluctant to let go of David*  
*therefore lets his arm slowly slide downwards*  
*hears Carlos and Abdi agree and Abdi say: "But you're not going to play together, that would be unfair..."*  
*sees Carlos shake his head: "No, no, think about it, Brudi, if they play against each other they are going to make sheep's eyes at each other over the table the entire time"!*  
*shakes his head at Carlos' comment*  
Excuse me, I am able to properly play ping-pong... me and you against David and Abdi!  
  
David:  
*shrugs when Abdi says that he and Matteo shouldn't play together*  
*doesn't really care who plays with whom but has to admit that with Matteo he would probably really better than Abdi and Carlos*  
*but first carefully puts his ID back into his wallet and puts it back in his pocket*  
*then looks at Carlos confused and laughs*  
*hears Matteo's words and nods*  
*goes over to Abdi and grins*  
And I am able to even properly play ping-pong while making sheep's eyes at my boyfriend...  
*wiggles his eyebrows at Matteo and hears Abdi: "Dude, concentrate"!*  
*laughs quietly and waits for Abdi to serve*  
*him and the guys play for quite some time and for some time it really is quite balanced and exciting*  
*fools around and competes with the others and at some point has forgotten about Carlos' weird question*  
*is just watching Abdi play a ball hard at the other side and unfortunately hit Carlos in the cheek with it*  
*hears Carlos laugh but at the same time say: "Dude, are you retarded or what"?*  
*grimaces, puts his paddle on the table and shakes his head at Carlos*  
*says without thinking about it too much*  
Ey, Carlos, don't keep saying that! As if it were an insult...  
*sees Carlos look at him confused: "What? Retarded or what"?*  
*nods and hears Carlos: "Ey, I don't mean it like that"!*  
*shakes his head*  
Yes, but still! It's the same as if you'd call someone "gay"!  
  
Matteo:  
*has also laughed and wiggled his eyebrows*  
My boyfriend can multitask...  
*they play for some time*  
*can't help but laugh when the ball hits Carlos' cheek*  
*is a little surprised when David reacts like that*  
*doesn't really notice Carlos talking like that anymore*  
*then hears David's comparison and complains*  
Hey!  
*then hears Carlos: "Yes, seriously, that can't be compared... I would never use gay as an insult... and retarded isn't meant like that either, just that something sucks".*  
  
David:  
*briefly looks at Matteo when he complains and was just about to answer him when Carlos is already talking*  
Yes, then just say that something sucks!  
*shrugs and now also looks at Matteo*  
Well, I think to say to someone "are you retarded!?" is just as much an insult as saying "ey, are you gay?!"... it's a marginal group that is being used as a comparison for something negative in that moment... as if you would say that only "retarded" people would screw up a serve...  
*hears Carlos laugh: "Yes, and Abdi"!*  
*hears Abdi complain: "Hey!" and then add: "But David does have a point..."*  
*looks at Abdi gratefully because he agrees with him and then hears Carlos: "You're only saying that now because I called /you/ that..."*  
*sighs quietly and doesn't really feel like Carlos understood what he was getting at*  
*picks up his paddle again*  
  
Matteo:  
*slightly lifts his eyebrows at David's explanation*  
*on the one hand gets what he means but on the other hand still thinks the comparison is a little stupid*  
*but lets him do his thing*  
*because in general he thinks that he's right, that such expressions shouldn't be used as insults*  
*turns the paddle around in his hands when Carlos somehow doesn't seem to get it*  
*suggests*  
Maybe you should just try to use sucks instead of retarded and see how that goes?  
*sees Carlos nod: "Okay, I'll try".*  
Okay, and now go get the ball, dude.  
  
David:  
*briefly smiles in Matteo's direction at his suggestion but isn't really hopeful that Carlos will really think about it*  
*sees Carlos get the ball and asks*  
How's the score, anyways? 9:8 for us, right?  
*looks at Abdi and grins*  
Okay, I say 5 more minutes tops and we'll have won...  
*sees Abdi also grin and then gets into position to receive the ball*  
*hears Carlos: "Hey, the winners have to pay for beers"!*  
*laughs*  
You mean the losers...  
  
Matteo:  
*only shakes his head at David when he says they’ll win*  
We'll see about that!  
*then laughs at Carlos' suggestion*  
Hey, a little bit more optimism, please!  
*hears Carlos say: "Okay, okay, then the losers..."*  
*it takes exactly 7.5 minutes for David and Abdi to win because Carlos didn't get a ball from Abdi*  
*complains while David and Abdi celebrate themselves*  
Man, Carlos!  
*sees Carlos shrug: "Sorry, but I can go get beer to make up for it..."*  
*nods*  
Yeah, do that.  
  
David:  
*grins when Carlos disappears to get beer and hears Abdi call after him: "Ey, get two beers for everyone"! and Carlos show him the middle finger for it*  
*strolls over to the benches with Matteo and Abdi and sits down on the backrest*  
*reaches out for Matteo with a grin – he had to forego being close to him for long enough, after all*  
*hears Abdi: "I'll just quickly be in the bushes... gotta piss... then you have enough time to make out in the meantime"!*  
*laughs*  
How considerate of you!  
*briefly looks after Abdi and then at Matteo*  
*wiggles his eyebrows*  
Let's make out?  
*grins*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins because he knows that Carlos will definitely bring enough beer*  
*calls after him*  
I'll give you money later!  
*follows David and Abdi to the benches and grins because David is already reaching out for him*  
*sits down close to him on the backrest and nudges him*  
*laughs at Abdi's words and nods*  
Yes... how selfless...  
*laughs at David's eyebrow-wiggling and puts his hand to his neck*  
Always!  
*grins into the kiss*  
  
David:  
*puts his arm around Matteo when he nudges him, briefly kisses him on his temple and runs his hand through his hair*  
*at first also grins into the kiss and thinks that they should make use of the time when the other two are gone but then forgets everything else for a moment and only concentrates on Matteo and being close to him*  
*then hears Carlos return and how he doesn't seem to be bothered by Matteo and him making out because he immediately says: "Ey, I've been thinking about it a little more... about your ID..."*  
*grumbles quietly and stops kissing Matteo*  
*looks at Carlos questioningly*  
Yes?  
*sees Abdi return as well and how he takes a beer from Carlos before Carlos is also handing him and Matteo a beer before he asks: "How does that even work? Can you just go to the registration office and tell them: "Hey, I need a new ID, I want a new name or what"?*  
*frowns and laughs quietly*  
I wish...  
*takes the lighter from Matteo with which he had just opened his beer and opens his own with it*  
*hears Abdi: "Yes, right, I'd like to know about that, as well... how does that work"?*  
*explains*  
Well, officially it's called name change and change of personal status...  
*laughs briefly*  
You'd better sit down and have a sip of beer if you really want to know how that all works... it can take a while...  
*takes a sip of beer himself and sees Carlos and Abdi join him and Matteo on the bench*  
*hears Carlos: "Is there no short version"?*  
*grins*  
I'll tell you the short version... it still takes a while... at first you have to file a petition with the court... there's a form you can fill in. But you also have to include a copy of your ID, an officially certified copy of your birth certificate and your trans resume...  
*hears Abdi ask: "Huh, what's that"?*  
You simply write down one or two pages about you... when was the first time you noticed that you're trans, when was the first time you went to a therapist, when was the first time that you took testosterone... and why you want to change your name... that the psychological strain of your birth name heavily impairs your quality of living and such...  
*takes another sip and thinks whether he forgot to mention something*  
Oh, yes... and you also should file for legal aid if you don't happen to have thousands of euros lying around...  
  
Matteo:  
*also grumbles when David pulls away from the kiss and looks at Carlos reproachfully, who doesn't seem to care at all*  
*takes the beer from Carlos and opens it with his lighter*  
*then hands it over to David*  
*waits for everyone to open their beers and clinks bottles with everyone while they listen to David*  
*shakes his head more and more the more David is telling them*  
Germany can be shittily complicated sometimes...  
*thinks how much it sucks and how much work it is to officially be recognized as what you are*  
*then hears Abdi: "Red tape always sucks, but it really sounds like a lot..."*  
*then hears Carlos: "So you send all of that stuff to court and they tell you yes or no and only then are you able to file for it"?*  
*then also has a question himself*  
When did you start with all of that?  
  
David:  
*looks between Carlos and Matteo when they both ask questions at the same time and smiles slightly*  
*answers Matteo's question first because it's faster*  
Almost a year ago – in my case it all got delayed because now I have my residence in Berlin and no longer in Lychen... and then another court had jurisdiction over it. But in normal cases it can also take well between 6 to 12 months...  
*looks at Carlos and shakes his head*  
Noo...  
*laughs quietly*  
... like I said, long story short.  
*takes another sip and continues*  
You send all of that stuff to court... and then you wait if the legal aid gets granted – luckily in my case, it was. Then at some point you get a letter from the court that they have received your petition and they tell you the names of two experts you have to see.  
*sees Carlos frown: "Experts?! What for!?"*  
They have to testify to the court via a psychological report that you're really trans... they have also received a letter from the court and contacted me to make an appointment. Then you meet with them and they basically ask you similar things that you have already put in your trans resume... and then they type up their report and send it to me and the court. That also took about three months...  
*hears Abdi: "Gosh that's complicated"!*  
*shrugs but then nods*  
*hears Carlos ask: "And then they tell you if your petition was granted"?*  
*tilts his head and grins*  
Almost... then you get an appointment for a hearing in court... but that was only a brief conversation with the judge – again to make sure if you're certain and if everything you stated on your petition is still correct. But I didn't know before the hearing that it would only be so brief... I was totally worried beforehand because I've never had to be at court...  
*takes another sip of beer and takes a deep breath, grins slightly and says*  
And then...  
*hears Abdi: "...you get your new ID"!*  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
*hears the others groan and saves them*  
But almost! You relatively quickly get a provisional decision and 4 to 6 weeks later a final decision of the cour! And with /that/ you can go to the district registration office and apply for your new ID!  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to David and realizes again how incredibly much he has to do and take care of and go through to live a normal life*  
*almost automatically takes his hand and holds it*  
*shakes his head when he finishes*  
That's really sick... I feel like we should frame the ID and hang it up or something like that... if only you wouldn't need it for other things... just because it's such an awful lot...  
*hears Carlos and Abdi both laugh and Abdi ask: "And how much are you fed up now with authorities"?*  
*hears Carlos laugh: "If you marry one day, each of you will simply keep their name just out of principle"*  
*shakes his head with a grin*  
Nonsense, I'll be the one to do it then.  
*realizes only after he said it that the thought of marriage doesn't scare him at all, and even though it's far from the right time for it, it already shows him that he is at least very certain about his future with David*  
*squeezes his hand slightly and shrugs one shoulder*  
  
David:  
*smiles and squeezes Matteo's hand at his suggestion*  
When that one expires and I have to get a new one then we'll do it with the first one... frame it and hang it up, I mean... with a shrine around it and such...  
*grins and then laughs at Abdi's question*  
*exhales*  
Pretty much...  
*shrugs and then says*  
...but somehow you get used to it and only go through the motions...  
*thinks that this wasn't the only petition for which he had to go to countless offices and get through piles of paperwork*  
*laughs again at Carlos' suggestion and looks at Matteo with a grin when he says that he'll be the one to do it then*  
*squeezes his hand and then kisses his cheek*  
*murmurs*  
I'll remind you...  
*only then realizes what they’re talking about and briefly presses his lips together with a smile and lowers his gaze in embarrassment*  
*wonders if in a few years' time they really will be facing this situation and likes that thought*  
*gets pulled from his thoughts when Carlos suddenly asks: "Fuck! How late is it!? I promised to be at Kiki's at 6..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*only grins slightly when David says that he'd remind him*  
You can do that...  
*then notices David's look and once again feels like his heart is going to explode*  
*it's still true that he loves his smile*  
*gets pulled from his thoughts by Carlos and looks at his phone*  
Quarter to 6... good luck, man!  
*sees Carlos quickly say his goodbyes and hurry off*  
*then sees Abdi look at them and hears him ask: "And what about you two? Do you have any plans or do you want to go get something to eat?"*  
  
David:  
*also says his goodbyes to Carlos and then looks at Matteo questioningly when he hears Abdi's question*  
*grins slightly and then looks at Abdi*  
Matteo can eat anytime, anyways, and I wouldn't mind, either...  
*empties his beer and gets up*  
*also pulls Matteo from the bench and then looks between the two of them*  
Pizza or Döner?  



	20. June 20, 2019 – Not only a frame

**Thursday, 8:23 pm:**  
  
  
**_WhatsApp David/Jonas:_**  
  
David:  
*sends a photo of his new ID*  
Look what I could finally pick up today! :-)  
  
Jonas:  
Dude!!!! Awesomeeeee! I’m so happy for you!!  
  
Jonas:  
I read how incredibly complicated that is and was almost looking for experts for you. :)  
  
David:  
Haha – that’s nice! Really cool that you really did research on it!  
And yes, it was pretty complicated and because of moving to Berlin it got dragged out even longer, but now it’s finally over! :-)  
  
Jonas:  
Awesome! Really! So cool! And now? Are you gonna celebrate?  
  
David:  
Haven’t really thought about it, to be honest, but it’s actually not a bad idea. Matteo already said that we should frame it ;)  
But we’ll see each other on Sunday at Carlos’ – then I’ll buy drinks for you! You’re gonna come this time, right?  
  
Jonas:  
Ey, tell Luigi that he should do something special today. Not only a frame! And of course, I’m coming. Today I already had plans with Hanna. Priorities :-) :P  
  
David:  
:-D I’ll tell him…  
Cool that you’ll be there on Sunday! And yes, I can understand having priorities ;-)  
So everything okay with you?  
  
Jonas:  
Yes, her father came over and I had to reintroduce myself. It wasn’t an option to not show up. But it went well, so everything’s fine. I don’t really have to ask about you, do I? You’ve probably marked this day in your calendar, right?  
  
David:  
Oh, I’m sure he was happy that you’re back together, wasn’t he?  
I’ll do that with the calendar in a minute… Matteo and I just got back. We were out having pizza with Abdi afterwards. But yes, I’m really good!  
  
David:  
Matteo finished showering and demands attention ;-)  
Have a nice evening! See you Sunday!  
  
Jonas.  
That little egoist! You two have a nice evening as well, see you Sunday, and let yourself be celebrated, man! ;) 


	21. June 23, 2019 (1) - Zelda and the future

**Sunday, 4:12 pm:**  
  
David:  
*they planned on meeting at Carlos' to play video games because his parents are on holiday and he's got the place to himself*  
*is a little proud that they're only 12 minutes late when they finally arrive at the house Carlos lives in*  
*gets off his bike and grins at Matteo*  
Only 12 minutes late! We're getting better!  
*briefly looks at the house because he's never been at Carlos' place and then back at Matteo who is locking his bike*  
*laughs quietly when he sees Jonas coming around the corner on his bike and says to Matteo*  
And we're not even the last ones for a change!  
*then can already hear Jonas: "Oh, crap! I thought I'd make it before you two..."*  
*shrugs and grins*  
I don't know what's going on today, either...  
*waits for Jonas to lock up his bike as well and watches how he first hits Matteo and then him on the shoulder in greeting and hears him say: "Na, Mister David Schreibner!? Have you bought a frame, yet?!"*  
*grins and somehow likes it that he remembers*  
*shakes his head and murmurs*  
Not yet...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs when David is so proud*  
*shrugs*  
Oh, they should just stop making such a big fuss all the time...  
*locks his bike and gets up again*  
*also laughs when he sees Jonas*  
Ha!  
*shakes his head*  
He knows exactly what's going on...  
*imitates David*  
"Come on, Matteo... let's just be on time only once, Matteo... you can also go to the bathroom there..."  
*grins when Jonas congratulates David again*  
We already made copies... I'll get a frame!  
*then goes to the front door with the two and rings the bell*  
  
David:  
*gives Matteo the secretary's-office-look when Matteo imitates him and then shrugs*  
It worked...  
*laughs quietly*  
Well, a little...  
*nods when Matteo tells him about the copies and the frame and then follows them to the front door and up the stairs to the second floor after they get buzzed in*  
*sees Abdi standing at the apartment door and as he fistbumps them in greeting hears him say: "He's not really in a good mood today..."*  
*lifts one eyebrow in worry when he returns the greeting and doesn't ask because he'll probably find out soon enough, anyways*  
*hears Jonas announce in a good mood: "Oh, we'll soon change that... where is he? Living room?"*  
*sees Abdi nod and follows the others through the hallway into the living room*  
  
Matteo:  
*greets Abdi and then grimaces a little in worry when he hears his words*  
*whispers to David*  
We should have brought Hans' super sweet booze, after all...  
*then follows Jonas and Abdi into the living room*  
Hey, dude...  
*there's some bustle while they all greet Carlos and then somehow find their seats on the sofa, the armchair and the floor*  
*him and David managed to get the armchair while Jonas and Carlos are sitting on the small sofa and Abdi's on the floor*  
*notices that Carlos looks a little dejected and thinks that a sledgehammer approach is the best method*  
Why are you pulling such a face? What's wrong?  
*notices Jonas look at him depreciatively but only shrugs one shoulder*  
  
David:  
*has put his arm around Matteo after they managed to get the armchair and after he greeted Carlos*  
*looks at Carlos a little more closely and thinks that he really does look quite frustrated*  
*then hears Matteo's question and finds it pretty direct*  
*briefly draws up his eyebrows in skepticism and then looks at Carlos scrutinizingly*  
*sees him sigh briefly and then shake his head: "Ey, yesterday Kiki told me that she got her acceptance letter for university..."*  
*hears Jonas: "But that's great! What's so bad about it that it ruins your mood like that? You have your apprenticeship, she got accepted to university so everything's great, isn't it?"*  
*sees Carlos look at Jonas with serious expression and then simply says: "Halle!"*  
*sees Abdi nod and repeat: "Halle!", as if he wanted to make sure everyone really gets it*  
*can understand now why Carlos is so down because it will most likely come down to a long-distance relationship and asks*  
How far away is Halle again? 150 km?  
*hears Carlos answer: "171"*  
*nods in understanding and murmurs*  
Fuck...  
*hears Carlos: "Tell me about it, bro..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*is sitting partly on the armrest and partly on the armchair leaning onto David*  
*listens to the boys and then looks from one to the other a little confused*  
But that's only two hours by car...  
*sees Jonas look at him depreciatively again*  
*sees Abdi shake his head and hears him say: "What do you mean only?"*  
*hears Carlos sigh and hears him say: "That means I'll only see her on weekends and probably not even every weekend"*  
*wonders what's so bad about not constantly seeing Kiki and slightly shrugs his shoulders*  
*sees Jonas shake his head and hears him say: "Sorry, Brudi, but I'm really amazed that you of all people don't understand that..."*  
*slightly grimaces in his direction*  
*then hears Abdi: "That's actually true, you get crazy even when you're only 1.7 km away from David"*  
*humpfs quietly and then understands Carlos a little bit, after all, he just can’t think of Kiki as Kiki*  
*nods*  
Okay, that's true... but...  
*looks at Carlos*  
... what does she even say about it? If you both want it, then you'll manage.  
  
David:  
*feels a tiny sting when Matteo says that it would only be two hours by car and stiffens a little when he wonders if Matteo really wouldn't mind it if they suddenly were 171 km apart*  
*nods at Carlos' words and tries to ignore the sting and Matteo's words because now it's not really about them but about Carlos and Kiki*  
*then hears Jonas' words to Matteo and on the one hand has to smile a little about them but on the other hand finds it somehow strange that Jonas seems to understand the problem better than Matteo does*  
*then has to grin slightly at Abdi's assumption and briefly looks at Matteo who somehow seems to understand only now what it's about*  
*then hears Carlos: "Well Kiki says that it's her chance and that she'll definitely accept the spot. I mean, I can somehow understand her, she really wants to study but she acts as if it somehow would be... I don’t know... as if it were absolutely okay for her that we'll barely see each other..."*  
*clears his throat and asks*  
Isn't there a possibility for her to start in Halle for now, but then switch to Berlin after a semester? She can also study psychology in Berlin...  
*hears Jonas: "Exactly! Once you got accepted somewhere, it's easier to switch... I mean even if the numerus clausus in Berlin is actually higher than in Halle, the chance of getting accepted is higher once you've already been accepted to the course of study!"*  
*nods in agreement to Jonas words and says*  
Then it would really only be a temporary long-distance relationship... so maybe one year instead of three or four years.  
  
Matteo:  
*nods in affirmation at everything that is being said*  
And look, you've already been through quite a lot and always stuck together... then you'll get through this, as well.  
*sees Jonas nod enthusiastically*  
*sees Carlos tilt his head back forth: "But what if she wants to stay in Halle? If she likes it so much there?"*  
*says very decisively*  
Then you'll get through this, as well!  
*has realized now that apparently the right way is to encourage Carlos and not belittle the situation itself*  
*sees Carlos look at him and hears him ask: "Would you get through this?"*  
*grimaces slightly*  
*but then gives him an honest answer*  
I wouldn't... but I'm also not as strong as you.  
*grins slightly*  
Hey, Halle really isn't thaaat far away. My mum used to have a friend from Halle, she spontaneously came to visit us quite often... that's quite doable, even by train.  
  
David:  
*nods at what Matteo says and thinks it's good that he encourages Carlos now*  
*adds*  
And even if she wants to stay there... then you'll just do the three years of your apprenticeship and then you'll find a good job there!  
*then hears Carlos' question to Matteo and is glad that Matteo answers and that it seems to be enough for Carlos*  
*is pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to get through it but doesn't want to demotivate Carlos with it*  
*adds to Matteo's words*  
Besides there's semester break! I guess Kiki will be in Berlin then, anyways. She doesn't only have you here, but also her family and her friends!  
*hears Jonas: "Exactly! Halle really isn't that bad! Just imagine if it were Munich or Flensburg or somewhere like that... then it wouldn't even be worth going there over the weekend because it's so far away!"*  
*sees Carlos shrug and hears him say with his head hanging low: "I'm just afraid that she'll like it there so much... she'll meet new people... she'll meet new guys... they might be cooler than me..."*  
*then hears Abdi: "Don't talk like that, dude! No one is cooler than you and Kiki knows that!"*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods at what Abdi says*  
Exactly! You're the coolest, man, and Kiki knows that!  
*sees Jonas look at him surprised and only shrugs one shoulder*  
Look, thing is... if you prophet doom and gloom from the get-go then it won't work out.  
*sees Jonas nod and hears him say: "Exactly. We are going to have a nice evening now, you are going to relax a little and tomorrow you're going to get together with her again and you'll talk about it again. It's going to work out!"*  
*nods again and grins*  
And now go get the beer and then we'll distract you a little, ok?  
  
David:  
*has to smile slightly when Matteo is talking about doom and gloom*  
*has experience with that*  
*sees Carlos nod at Jonas' suggestion and hears him say: "Okay, maybe you're right!"*  
*grins slightly and says*  
I'm really sure we are right!  
*sees Carlos pick himself up when he hears Matteo's words and then hears him say to Abdi: "I've also got chips in the cabinet over there. Go get them, Brudi!"*  
*sees Carlos leave the living room to get beer from somewhere and once he's left the room hears Jonas murmur: "That situation really sucks... I can really understand him..."*  
*nods and quietly says*  
Me too... but it's probably more helpful to encourage him than pull him down...  
*also wraps his other arm around Matteo and squeezes him close*  
*briefly hides his face on his shoulder and sighs quietly when he thinks about the fact that their future somehow isn't really certain, either*  
*is really afraid that he'll also only get accepted somewhere outside of Berlin and that Matteo will offer to move away with him because he really doesn't want to ask that of him*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods at Jonas' words*  
Yeah it is...  
*also nods at David's words*  
We'll distract him a little, I think that's good...  
*wraps his arm around David when he squeezes him close*  
*quickly presses a kiss to his hair and whispers*  
Hey, that's not us, ok?  
*apparently didn't whisper quietly enough because he can hear Abdi laugh and say: "Nothing could tear you apart, anyways!"*  
*only shrugs one shoulder at that comment and doesn't say anything because Carlos returns with a six-pack beer*  
*sees Carlos start to open and hand out the bottles*  
*looks at David*  
I can also get you something else?  
*hears Carlos laugh a little: "Caution, caution, the alcohol police is here again. Mister Schreibner mustn’t exceed the alcohol level of 0.01!"*  
  
David:  
*has to smile at the words Matteo whispers to him and nods slightly but still can't quite turn off his thoughts on that topic*  
*hears Abdi and grins slightly*  
*was just about to answer him that he would probably chain himself to Matteo if somebody were to try it when Carlos returns to the living room and starts opening the bottles*  
*was just about to decline Matteo's offer and grab a beer from Carlos but then hears Carlos' words and thinks it's somehow unfair to Matteo – even if it's only meant as a joke. But when Matteo is worried about him because of that that then it's only something between Matteo and him and the others shouldn't really meddle in that*  
*therefore changes his mind, looks at Matteo, smiles slightly and says*  
That would be nice, I don't really feel like beer today...  
*hears Jonas laugh and Carlos look pretty surprised: "Ey, come on, Brudi, at least one!"*  
*shakes his head and laughs quietly*  
Have been quite a lot of "at least one beers" lately... don’t want it to become a habit...  
  
Matteo:  
*looks a little dumbfounded when he hears Carlos' comment*  
*didn't really mean it like that and just wanted to offer David an alternative*  
*is a little surprised when David actually agrees with him and sits up immediately*  
*looks at Carlos*  
We're too old to care for peer pressure, aren't we?  
*gets up and asks Carlos*  
Your glasses are still where they used to be?  
*sees Carlos nod and open his mouth but interrupts him*  
Thanks, I'll just go help myself from the fridge.  
*leaves the living room to get a glass and something else for David to drink from the kitchen*  
*therefore doesn't hear how Carlos asks David: "Does that really not annoy you?"*  
  
David:  
*releases Matteo from his grasp when he immediately tries to get up and grins slightly when he hears his comment about peer pressure*  
*briefly looks after Matteo gratefully and then hears Carlos' question*  
*at first looks at him a little astonished but then laughs quietly*  
What? That my boyfriend worries about me!?  
*hears Carlos: "Well, but it's still kinda your decision, isn't it?"*  
*nods and shrugs one shoulder*  
Sure. But he's not forbidding anything... he simply suggests alternatives.  
*hears Carlos again: "It would still really annoy me..."*  
*thinks that it would probably annoy him if Matteo started to argue about it, but so far, Matteo has always let him do his thing when he decided to have alcohol and has always accepted his decision*  
*then hears Jonas say to Carlos: "Imagine a doctor had told Kiki that she shouldn't drink too much alcohol... and she would still drink with the girls all the time... then you would also say something at some point, wouldn't you?"*  
*sees Carlos think about it and before he says: "Yes, but that's something completely different... but if Kiki would do that with me, I'd tell her something!"*  
*can't really believe what he just heard and laughs out loud*  
Why? Because you're the man and she's the woman? So much for equality!  
  
Matteo/mostly the boys:  
*has found a glass and is now trying to decide between the different juices in the fridge*  
*Jonas laughs and nods in affirmation at David's words: "Yes, Carlos, that's really macho-y of you"*  
*Carlos shakes his head: "No, I'm just saying... you're old enough, you can decide for yourself what you want... it's exhausting if he always says something!"*  
*Jonas shakes his head: "He doesn't forbid him anything. He just worries. And like I said, I would bet quite a lot that if it were Kiki you'd be even more persistent."*  
*Abdi sighs and quietly says: "I'd love to have a girlfriend who worries about me."*  
*comes back into the living room with a glass and a few bottles under each arm*  
I didn't know what you wanted so I brought water, apple juice, orange juice and pineapple juice...  
*looks at David questioningly and only then realizes that everyone stopped talking the moment he came into the room*  
Should I leave again?  
  
David:  
*quietly laughs at Carlos' words again*  
But that's exactly what I'm doing! I decide for myself!  
*then shakes his head when Carlos says that Matteo is exhausting, groans and leans back in resignation*  
*nods at Jonas' words, smiles slightly at Abdi's words and then looks up when Matteo enters the living room loaded with bottles*  
*smiles at him lovingly and takes two of the bottles from him to put them on the coffee table*  
*quietly murmurs "thanks" to him*  
*immediately shakes his head when Matteo asks if he should leave again and reaches his arms out for him*  
*somehow really feels like protecting him after the things Carlos has just said*  
*hears Abdi answer Matteo's question honestly: "No, you can stay! Carlos just thought you were annoying!"*  
*looks at Abdi a little deprecatingly and hears Jonas laugh: "Yes, but we were actually done with the topic... right?!"*  
*sees Jonas look at everyone a little provokingly and nods immediately*  
I agree!  
  
Matteo:  
*puts the other two bottles and the glass down on the coffee table and thinks that David will just help himself*  
*grins slightly when David reaches out for him and immediately gets back to his previous spot next to him, leans against him and takes David's hand*  
*laughs slightly at Abdi's answer and looks at Carlos*  
Is that so?  
*sees Carlos simply shrug but he doesn't give an explanation*  
*then hears that they are apparently done with the topic and that he apparently won't get an explanation*  
Let's just see how annoying he'll find me when I finish him off at Mario Kart!  
*hears Jonas laugh and Abdi say: "Carlos actually wanted to play Zelda!"*  
*grins slightly at the mention of Zelda and remembers David and him talking about it but then also remembers what happened afterwards*  
*holds onto David and wraps both arms around him tightly*  
Don't run away.  
  
David:  
*puts one arm around Matteo when he sits back down next to him and entwines their fingers with a smile when Matteo takes his hand*  
*is actually glad that they are apparently done with the topic, that no one mentions it again and that Matteo then suggests they start to play*  
*when he hears Abdi's comment he sees Jonas look at Carlos and hears him ask: "How far are you now, Brudi?"*  
*sees Carlos get up and turn on the TV and the console and hears him answer: "I reached level 28 yesterday..."*  
*sees Jonas nod appreciatively and in that moment feels Matteo's arms tighten around him and hears his words*  
*grins slightly and presses a kiss to his forehead*  
*murmurs quietly*  
Don't worry... those times are behind me...  
*then hears Abdi: "Ey, is our character still saved?! Then maybe we can continue playing with that one..."*  
*sees Carlos nod: "Of course!" and hears him say while sitting back on the couch: "So, I'd say I start because my day sucked the most!"*  
*grins slightly and carefully pulls away from Matteo's hug*  
*indicates with his head that he wants to pour himself something to drink and spontaneously decides to have apple juice*  
*leans back again with his glass, puts his arm back around Matteo, takes a sip and then watches Carlos as he starts the game*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly when David says that those times are behind him*  
Good...  
*squeezes him again and then lets go of him so that he can pour himself something to drink*  
*reaches for his beer and also takes a sip*  
*Carlos gets into position and starts the game*  
No, man, Carlos, pass him from the left and take the axe! Take the axe, man!  
*shakes his head when Carlos doesn't listen to him*  
*murmurs*  
Every time...  
*hears Jonas laugh when Carlos doesn't manage to pass the opponent: "You should have taken the axe"*  
*only shakes his head and leans back against David*  
*murmurs "they are all stupid" and buries his face on David's neck*  
  
David:  
*grins when Matteo starts giving advice to Carlos and when he – probably out of protest – ignores them and laughs quietly when Carlos does screw up*  
*grins again when Matteo leans against him, presses a quick kiss to his forehead and starts to card through his hair in consolation*  
*murmurs back*  
And you being the expert here...  
*then hears Abdi say: "Ey, but we don't do 'everyone has three lives' right? That would take forever with some of us..."*  
*sees Jonas nod: "I agree... everyone plays for 15 minutes?"*  
*nods in agreement and says*  
Sounds good!  
*then sees Carlos try the opponent another time and this time really take the axe and get close to the opponent from the left*  
*nudges Matteo and quietly says*  
You see... he's able to learn, after all!  
*then hears Carlos while still staring at the screen: "I can hear you, by the way! You can talk big in a minute when it's your turn!"*  
*laughs quietly*  
*just like Matteo he has already played that part of the game and doesn't think that he'll have a lot of difficulty*  
  
Matteo:  
*closes his eyes when David cards through his hair*  
*pouts overdramatically and nods*  
I am.  
*nods at the suggestion of 15 minutes with his eyes still closed*  
*opens them when he hears David's comment and turns his head slightly to see what Carlos is doing*  
*pffs slightly at Carlos' comment*  
You're not getting any more tips from me...  
*then hears Jonas laugh and hears him ask: "How far are you, Luigi? Still 31?"*  
*nods*  
Yes, I haven't played in a while...  
  
David:  
*sees Abdi grin at Matteo's comment and sees him look over at them: "Have been busy with other things, have you?"*  
*directs his secretary's-office-look at Abdi and then looks at Matteo for a moment to check on him, his hand still in Matteo's hair*  
*until now hasn't really noticed that Matteo really isn't playing Zelda anymore and briefly wonders if it has something to do with his disappearance after the sandwich-feast and quietly says to him*  
We could have played that yesterday...  
*then hears Jonas comment on Carlos' game: "Oh man, Brudi, I'd really like to know how you even got this far – you've missed another diamond mine! Go back again!"*  
*hears Carlos: "Huh? Where?!" and then Jonas' description of where Carlos is supposed to go*  
*looks back at the screen for a moment, takes another sip of apple juice and puts the glass down on the floor next to him to not have to move too much and to not ruin the comfortable position he and Matteo are in*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins back at Abdi and shrugs*  
*then looks at David when he hears his quiet comment and shakes his head*  
Then it wouldn't be original anymore...  
*listens to Jonas and Carlos and is glad that he has stopped giving advice to Carlos*  
*then hears Abdi announce: "Your 15 minutes are over, who's next?"*  
*hears Carlos say: "David, I want to see how good he is..."*  
*grumbles slightly because that means that he has to move*  
  
David:  
*grins slightly at Matteo's comment and quietly says*  
It wasn't anyways... I've stayed with you, after all...  
*briefly buries his nose in Matteo's hair*  
*then hears that he's supposed to play next and nods*  
*pulls away from Matteo and scoots from the armchair down on the floor to better reach the controller that Carlos is holding out to him*  
*hasn't played the game in forever and it takes some time for him to get used to the controller again and to figure out at which point in the game they are at the moment*  
*hears Carlos: "Oh man, Brudi, if you're also better at video games than us then we won't invite you anymore..."*  
*grins without looking away from the screen*  
Don't worry... I play video games way too rarely for that...  
*really screws up a jump in that exact moment and has to go back quite a bit to repeat a part of the way*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly and nods*  
True...  
*stretches out on the armchair when David scoots down to the floor to play*  
*laughs at Carlos' comment and shakes his head*  
That I want to see...  
*then hears Carlos laugh and sees him shake his head slightly: "No, no, just kidding... I would miss you too much!"*  
*sees Carlos stick his tongue out at him and rolls his eyes*  
*suddenly Abdi is standing next to him: "Ey, Luigi, could we go to the kitchen for a moment to talk?"*  
*is pretty surprised and glances at Jonas in confusion who only shrugs*  
Umm, yeah, sure...  
*pulls himself up and follows Abdi to the kitchen*  
*looks at Abdi expectantly who at first beats around the bush before eventually saying: "Yeah, man, I don’t want to annoy the others with it all the time, but I constantly have to think about Sam..."*  
*is a little surprised that Abdi has picked him for this conversation instead of Jonas*  
Dude, I don't know if I can help you with that...  
*sees Abdi nod: "Sure you can, man, you didn't give up with David, either..."*  
*slightly shakes his head*  
Well... but that was somehow a little different... have you already told her?  
*sees Abdi nod carefully: "At the Abiball... but she wasn't really that enthusiastic..."  
*suddenly feels sorry for Abdi and shrugs slightly*  
That sucks, man, I'm sorry... but I really can't help you much with that...  
*hears Abdi sigh and ask: "So you don't think that I should keep trying?"*  
*shrugs*  
Dunno... no? I mean it doesn't really sound that great... but maybe you should rather ask Jonas... or David... I'm sure they're better at that then me...  
  
David:  
*only briefly looks away from the screen when Abdi and Matteo leave the living room and continues to play because he really has to concentrate*  
Arghs... how do I change weapons again!?  
*randomly presses several buttons*  
*hears Jonas: "triangle and circle!"*  
*nods and does that*  
Thanks...  
*then hears Carlos: "Ey, what was that about!? What does Abdi want from Matteo now?! /I/ am his bro..."*  
*grins slightly and concentrates on the game and absentmindedly says*  
I thought we were all bros...  
*hears Jonas: "Probably something only Matteo can help him with... and what he's obviously embarrassed about in front of us... but that's okay..."*  
*agrees with Jonas*  
*wins over some opponents and moves a level up*  
*pumps his fist into the air and grins*  
*sees Carlos look stunned: "Ey, I can't believe it!"*  
*shrugs and says with a grin*  
You put in the groundwork for it...  
*continues playing and eventually hears Carlos: "They have been gone for quite some time..."*  
*only shrugs and hears Jonas laugh: "One could almost think that you're jealous..." and Carlos immediately answers: "Nonsense!"*  
  
Matteo:  
*sees Abdi shake his head: "No, I want to know what you think..."*  
*hums slightly and thinks about it again*  
*then looks at Abdi and slowly says*  
I think, maybe... you simply have to make a decision... either you talk to her again, tell her that you need a clear statement and then you'll see what she says... or you keep waiting... but waiting forever can also suck...  
*shrugs slightly*  
I mean, to have an unrequited crush is really... exhausting...  
*sees Abdi nod and hears him say: "You're right. I simply have to make a decision."*  
*nods*  
Sorry that I can't be of more help...  
*sees Abdi shake his head: "You helped. Thanks."*  
Okay... do we wanna go back?  
*sees Abdi nod, pats him on the back and goes back into the living room with him*  
  
David:  
*hears Abdi and Matteo come back to the living room but doesn't really look up from the screen but only grins slightly and says*  
You were sorely missed!  
*hears Abdi: "By you?!"*  
*laughs quietly and now briefly glances at Matteo, after all*  
From me, too...  
*then hears Jonas: "No, Carlos was jealous..." and Carlos: "I wasn't you ass!" and Abdi again: "Isn't anybody checking the time here?! Why is David still playing?"*  
*shrugs and says with a grin*  
Because I'm simply good...  
*kills another opponent but then hits pause*  
*leans back against the armchair, basically between Matteo's legs, who has sat back down again*  
*holds the controller out*  
Who wants to play next?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs*  
Don't worry, Carlos, I didn't steal him from you...  
*sits back down on the armchair and moves his leg a little apart when David leans against the armchair*  
*sees Jonas take the controller and scoot around a little*  
Finish the level, dude  
*hears Jonas laugh: "I'll do my best!"*  
*leans forward to grab his beer from the table and presses a kiss to David's temple on his way*  
*leans back and notices Carlos watching him*  
*lifts his eyebrows in question*  
Hm?  
  
David:  
*hands the controller over to Jonas and watches as he begins to play*  
*makes some space when Matteo leans forward to grab his beer and smiles when he kisses him on the temple*  
*leans his head against Matteo's leg when he sits back again*  
*hears Matteo's "hm?" and sees Carlos shake his head: "Nothing!"*  
*notices that Carlos still doesn't seem to look satisfied but now turns to Abdi instead: "How are you, Brudi? Everything okay"*  
*has to grin slightly because he somehow finds it adorable that Carlos really seems to be jealous but doesn't comment on it to not annoy Carlos any further*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly amused when Carlos says that it's nothing and he then immediately asks Abdi*  
*sees Abdi slowly nod and hears him say: "Yeah, yeah, everything okay..."*  
*thinks that this doesn’t help much right now but can't really do anything about it at the moment*  
*slightly nudges David with his foot*  
*waits for him to look up and then only grins*  
*then hears Jonas yell "Yeesss" and quickly looks over to see that he has defeated a big opponent*  
Neat!  
*then hears Carlos ask Abdi again: "There's something wrong, just spit it out" and Abdi's answer: "Man, Brudi, everything's okay, I just have to think about a few things."*  
*sees Carlos face darken: "I think that's really retarded that you won't tell me what's going on."*  
  
David:  
*looks up at Matteo when he nudges him with his foot and grins back, but then also looks over to Jonas and nods appreciatively when he sees what opponent he has defeated*  
*tries to ignore Carlos' and Abdi's conversation even though he doesn't really like it that Carlos won't accept that Abdi apparently doesn't want to talk about it with him right now*  
*but then draws up his eyebrows when Carlos uses "retarded" once again and sits up a little*  
*looks at him a little angrily*  
Man Carlos!  
*sees him look at him blankly and slightly shakes his head*  
Sucks! You wanted to say sucks instead of retarded!  
*hears Jonas say in confusion: "Did I miss something?!" and Abdi answer shortly: "Yes...." and Carlos' annoyed: "Retarded... sucks... that's all the same!"*  
*groans and laughs drily because Carlos really doesn't seem to understand*  
But it's not!  
*really wonders if it's worth arguing about it again or if it's no use anyways*  
*leans back but then sits up again and looks at Carlos*  
Just think about what you're saying. So everyone that sucks is retarded? Every retarded person sucks!?  
  
Matteo:  
*grimaces slightly when David gets annoyed*  
*somehow understands him but thinks that Carlos simply can't be changed in that matter*  
*sees Carlos shake his head in confusion when he hears David's explanation*  
*then hears Jonas who has obviously paused the game: "Well, I think David is right. Maybe you should think a little more about what kind of words you use, Carlos."*  
*sees Carlos look a little helpless and hears him say: "Matteo also says retarded!"*  
*looks at him very indignantly*  
Hello? I don't... and besides, I'm not your protective shield in this!  
  
David:  
*looks at Jonas gratefully when he is on his side but still wonders why no one in the friend group has addressed this topic in the past*  
*pulls up his eyebrows when Carlos pulls Matteo into this and laughs quietly – also about Matteo defending himself*  
And even if Matteo would also say it, then I would be just as annoyed... that's not an excuse.  
*slightly shakes his head*  
*then hears Carlos defend himself: "Ey, the word is simply stuck... I don't even really think about it..."*  
*hears Jonas again: "What I said, Brudi: Just think about it before speaking!"*  
*sees Carlos look between him and Jonas, eventually lift his hands in defense and hears him say: "Okay, okay, if it's soooo important to you then I'll just say sucks from now on..."*  
*still doesn't think that Carlos understood what this is about but still nods and leans back again*  
*sees Jonas start the game again and hears Carlos add: "But Matteo really also says it! You have to pay attention to it..."*  
*suppresses a grin and crosses his arms in front of his chest*  
*reaches one hand up and searches for Matteo's fingers*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks at Carlos and lifts his eyebrows at David's words as if trying to say "you see, there's no point"*  
*only shakes his head at the rest of the conversation*  
*also thinks that Carlos doesn't really realize what it's about*  
*then hears Carlos pull him in again*  
Dude! Stop /sucking/ so much*  
*emphasizes "sucking" extra and sees Carlos grimace at him*  
*only shows him the middle finger and then reaches for David's outstretched hand*  
*entwines his fingers with David's and squeezes them for a moment*  
*then hears Jonas say: "I gotta pee. Who wants to play?"*  
*sees him hold up the controller and points at Abdi with his free hand*  
  
David:  
*grins again at Matteo's choice of words, but then puts the topic behind him for today*  
*then smiles when Matteo entwines their fingers and with his free hand reaches for his apple juice to take a sip*  
*is glad that Matteo doesn't jump at the chance to play after Jonas and he therefore doesn't have to move*  
*puts his glass back down, leans his head against Matteo's leg again and relaxes*  
*watches Abdi take the controller and hears him negotiate: "Ey but your four minutes are wasted then, right? You can't add them next round!"*  
*sees Jonas grin at Abdi: "You can have them!" and Abdi beam: "Really?" and Carlos' complaint: "Ey, new rules have to be voted on!"*  
*only grins when Jonas only says: "I'm in favor!" and disappears to the toilet*  
*sees Carlos look at him and Matteo expectantly and shrugs*  
*laughs quietly*  
I really don't care... can I abstain from voting?  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs at the discussion and says*  
I'm in favor of us discussing this for four more minutes*  
*sees Carlos shake his head: "You're really annoying today, Florenzi."*  
*laughs*  
Oh, last names, now I'm scared!  
*slightly tilts his head and shrugs*  
Okay, okay, I'm against it... whatever Carlos is saying is true...  
*takes the last sip of his beer*  
But only if you get me another beer...  
*grins because Abdi has already started to play and no one really paid attention to when exactly he started*  
  
David:  
*follows the discussion with a grin but is too relaxed to participate in it*  
*instead watches Abdi who has already started to play*  
*but then hears Carlos say to Matteo: "I'll do that in a minute, we first have to resolve this! David, you have to make a decision! We're at a tie!"*  
*groans*  
*then hears Carlos add amusedly: "I knew that a fifth Brudi would one day come in handy"*  
*has to grin but then says to Carlos without looking away from Abdi's game*  
Have you really thought about being against it? What if I wanted to give you 10 minutes of my time later? Then you couldn't even accept them...  
*briefly glances at Carlos and sees him think about it and eventually skeptically say: "Yes but you won't do that anyways... right?"*  
*shrugs and grins*  
Who knows!?  
*looks back at the screen where nothing exciting is happening right now*  
*hears Carlos: "I'll just go get beer..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to David's and Carlos' discussion*  
*has to suppress a laugh when David turns the tables*  
*then sees Carlos disappear into the kitchen and leans down to press a kiss to David's cheek*  
You're evil!  
*laughs*  
I like it...  
*then hears Abdi: "No flirting and making out now, I have to concentrate!"*  
*only laughs again and shakes his head*  
Pretty tense here...  
  
David:  
*smiles when he gets a kiss on the cheek and grins at Matteo's words*  
*slightly wiggles his eyebrows*  
*but then grimaces when he hears Abdi's words, briefly looks at him and quietly and laughingly says*  
Then just look at the screen – then you won't even notice any of this...  
*then looks up at Matteo again longingly and slightly pulls on his hand*  
*wants a proper kiss as long as Jonas and Carlos are gone and Abdi's busy*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly when David looks up and pulls on his hand*  
*peeks over to Abdi and sees him stare at the screen in concentration*  
*then leans down and waits for David to turn his head so that he can kiss him*  
*manages for 2 seconds before hearing Jonas' voice: "That looks uncomfortable, guys"*  
*sighs theatrically and looks at Jonas*  
*Jonas laughs and lifts his hands in defense: "Hey, if that's your thing then I didn't say anything!"*  
*looks at David*  
I feel like we need new friends  
*isn't serious about that, of course*  
  
David:  
*closes his eyes when Matteo finally kisses him and quietly grumbles in protest when he hears Jonas' voice and they pull apart*  
*looks at Jonas a little chastisingly and grins when he lifts his hands in defense*  
*shrugs at Matteo's words and laughs quietly*  
Well, but if he's right... it really was quite uncomfortable...  
*sees Jonas nod happily: "Ey, I'm always right – well, okay, most of the time!"*  
*has also let go of Matteo's hand because his own arm had been uncomfortably pressing on his binder for quite some time because of the weird angle and sits up straight again and stretches a little*  
*then hears Abdi: "I've told Carlos several times that his parents really need to get another couch..."*  
*sees Carlos come back with beer: "And where are they supposed to put it!? There's barely enough space for the furniture that's already here... it's really time for me to move out..."*  
*sees Carlos hand out the beer and also hold one out for him*  
*hesitates briefly but then shakes his head*  
*smiles and says*  
No, thanks, I'll have one next time...  
  
Matteo:  
*only shrugs*  
Just because he's right doesn't mean that he isn't annoying...  
*but then grins at Jonas who is sticking his tongue out at him*  
*hears Abdi say to Carlos: "We should start a flatshare. A bro flatshare, you and I!"*  
*grins slightly because that would probably end in utter chaos*  
*scoots back on the armrest and nudges David with his foot so that he looks up*  
*then pads the empty space beside him on the armchair*  
Come up so that we can make out properly...  
*grins when Abdi and Carlos immediately protest and laughs*  
  
David:  
*sees Carlos' face lighten up when he hears Abid's suggestion and hears him say: "Yes, awesome! Really, let's plan something!"*  
*grins slightly because he can somehow imagine what it would look like in their flatshare*  
*looks up at Matteo when he nudges him with his foot and sees that he has scooted back on the armrest*  
*laughs at his words and even more at Carlos' and Abdi's protests but immediately pulls himself up on the armchair next to Matteo and leans against him*  
*hears Jonas: " Well that already looks more comfortable! I'm just thinking about your comfort, guys!" and Carlos: "Ey, but we're not here to make out but to play!" and Abdi, who is still staring at the screen: "Exactly!"*  
*is a little uncertain again that it might sometimes really bother the guys when he's always with them and when he and Matteo are always so close and therefore scoots a little away from Matteo*  
*sees that Carlos is watching him and looks at him apologetically*  
*hears him laugh: "Ey, David, Brudi, that was a joke. As long as you won't start to fuck here and still somehow participate in what's going on, everything's fine."*  
*also smiles a little and relaxes slightly*  
*slightly shrugs and murmurs*  
Well, but it would also be okay if it annoyed you...  
*hesitates briefly and then adds*  
...or if you wanted to see Matteo again without me...  
*thinks that Hanna and Kiki aren't always there, either*  
*hears Abdi sigh: "Now he's back at this again..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*immediately puts his arm around David when he sits down next to him and ignores Abdi's and Carlos' protests*  
*knows that they are mostly doing it to tease him*  
*slightly tilts his head at Carlos' comment*  
Do you see any of us play?  
*but then feels David scoot away from him and ok, now it's not funny anymore*  
*pulls him back and is just thinking about how to tell Carlos when he already talks and puts it into perspective*  
*then shakes his head when David says that it would be okay if they were annoyed*  
*quietly says*  
Nooo!  
*frowns and shakes his head*  
*then can already hear Carlos' laugh: "Brudi, you're not here when we meet Matteo without you, but believe me, no one here wants that."*  
*says very drily*  
Haha.  
*but then also sees Carlos looking at David a little more serious: "Listen, Brudi, you're a Brudi now, we tease each other, we say things because we know that it annoys the other, we make fun of each other, but we are honest and we tell each other our opinions and we are arguing with each other, but we are also there for each other. And you're in it now, if you want to or not. Well okay, if you really don't want to then not, but it's not because we wouldn't want you. Okay?"*  
*looks at Carlos surprised and grateful and hears Jonas and Abdi simultaneously add "exactly, Brudi"*  
  
David:  
*lets himself get pulled back by Matteo but is still quite tense*  
*but grins slightly when Carlos says that no one wants to see Matteo without him and briefly and lovingly looks over at him*  
*continues listening to Carlos who suddenly gets serious*  
*doesn't really know that side of him and is a little surprised that he can say other things than make stupid comments and is a little emotional when he realizes what he's trying to say*  
*is a little overwhelmed and doesn't really know what to say*  
*looks at Carlos grateful and then also at Abdi and Jonas when they all agree*  
*then lowers his gaze in embarrassment and murmurs*  
Okay... thanks...  
*adds a little more embarrassed*  
And of course I want to... it's really pretty cool with you...  
*then slowly looks up again and shrugs*  
I just thought... because Hanna and Kiki don't hang out with you guys, either...  
*hears Jonas laugh: "They wouldn't do that voluntarily..." and Carlos add with a grin: "I think we're a little too much for them or something like that..."*  
*nods and slowly relaxes again at Matteo's side*  
*squeezes his arm behind Matteo's back and wraps it around his waist*  
*is pretty emotional right now and happy about the realization that he's really wanted here and that the boys like having him with them*  
*sees the three of them smile at him and Matteo and gets a little sheepish again*  
*is therefore glad when Abdi eventually says: "Okay, I was paying attention to the time: Including the minutes from Jonas I still have 6 minutes until it’s someone else's turn..."*  
*sees him start the game again and how everyone turns back to the screen*  
*uses the time to look up at Matteo and to press a soft kiss to his chin*  
  
Matteo:  
*slightly squeezes David when he thanks them because he figures that it really means something to him*  
*laughs simultaneously with Jonas when David mentions Hanna and Kiki and nods*  
They can only put up with us in rations...  
*grins at David when he snuggles closer again and squeezes him a little closer*  
*hears Abdi and thinks that this means that he still has 6 minutes until it's his turn*  
*looks at David when he kisses him, smiles and then kisses him properly*  
*then quietly and with a wicked grin says*  
You see?  
  
David:  
*returns Matteo's kiss and relaxes even more when the other three really seem to not pay any attention to them but instead concentrate on Abdi's game*  
*smiles when he sees Matteo's wicked look and slightly shrugs*  
*quietly says*  
Well you are right every now and then...  
*tenderly runs his hand over Matteo's cheek and looks at him*  
*thinks that because of him his live has somehow changed completely, that for the first time he feels like he belongs and that he doesn't have to hide anymore*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly at his words*  
*shrugs*  
I've heard that happens...  
*tilts his head slightly when David looks at him like /this/*  
*nudges him slightly*  
Don't look at me like that...  
*adds even more quietly*  
Otherwise I'll have to give my round to Abdi and have to drag you home...  
  
David:  
*gets nudged by Matteo and slightly grins at his words*  
*briefly lowers his gaze in embarrassment, but then looks at him again and blushes slightly when he hears his next words*  
*murmurs quietly and with a slight grin*  
I wouldn't mind...  
*briefly looks at the boys, then back at Matteo and sighs quietly*  
...but... we should stay for a little longer... for one or two more rounds or so...  
*as much as he would love to be alone with Matteo he still thinks that it would maybe be a little unfair to the others, especially since they haven't even been here for two hours and the others have just taken a stand for him*  
*then looks at him again like /this/, puts his hand back to his cheek and pulls him down to kiss him again*  
*pulls him down even further so that he can whisper in his ear*  
...love you pretty much...  
*then kisses his ear and his cheek and slowly lets go of him again*  
*thinks that with and because of Matteo somehow everything feels right and sighs happily*  
*then hears Carlos' voice: "One more minute, Brudi! Just finish that one off already..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*feels his heartbeat speed up when David gets embarrassed and how incredible it still feels that he's the reason for it*  
*grins slightly at his answer*  
*nods slowly when he says that they should stay for a little longer*  
*then sees the look again and can't help but to beam*  
*was actually just about to tell him to stop it when he gets pulled into a kiss*  
*immediately forgets everything else*  
*feels his lips on his ear and hears his declaration of love and once again can't really believe that this is his life now*  
*feels the other kisses and how he lets go of him and buries his face in his neck*  
*kisses him and murmurs "I love you too" against his neck but isn't sure if he heard it*  
*then hears Carlos declare: "That's it Brudi, now it's Matteo's turn! Brudi, stop cuddling and show Abdi how it's done!"*  
*grumbles slightly but slowly pulls away from David*  
*then sees Carlos grin at David: "If you want to you can have me as a replacement!"*  
  
David:  
*smiles slightly when Matteo kisses his neck and can only guess what he murmurs*  
*simply feels really happy right now and sighs quietly when Carlos announces that it's Matteo's turn*  
*lets go of him so that he can sit somewhere where he can reach the controller better and has to laugh when he hears Carlos' suggestion*  
*wiggles his eyebrows looking at the now-vacant armrest and says*  
Unfortunately I can only offer you an armrest…  
*is a little astonished at first but then laughs when Carlos really jumps up and lets himself fall down on the armchair and wraps an arm around him: "Like that?!"*  
*laughs even more but puts some distance between them*  
Umm... well...  
*sees Carlos' mock offended look: "What?! Am I not enough for you?!"*  
*laughs again and also hears Jonas and Abdi laugh*  
*is a little overwhelmed right now and is glad when Carlos sits up a little straighter and takes his arm off him and instead puts it on the backrest*  
*hears Abdi tell Matteo: "Alright – the clock is ticking!" and then watches Matteo play*  
  
Matteo:  
*gets up and squeezes himself next to Jonas so that he can see the screen better*  
*then sees what Carlos is doing with David and is almost tempted to throw a pillow at him*  
*but then drops that thought because Carlos has already had to deal with enough today*  
*so only laughs slightly and imitates Carlos by making a comment that Carlos often says*  
I could say something now...  
*sees Carlos simply grin and shrug at him*  
*then hears Abdi announce that the clock is ticking and starts the game*  
*while playing realizes that he's still quite good at it and that it's a lot of fun*  
*finishes level 28 within a little more than 5 minutes and pumps his fists in the air in triumph*  
  
David:  
*grins and is happy for Matteo when he moves up a level and joins in on the others' bellowing*  
*then reaches for his apple juice and takes a sip when he feels Carlos pats him on the shoulder and then asks everyone: "Ey but back to Kiki... what should I act like now? I don't want to seem too clingy, but if I don't somehow tell her how important this is for me she might really think that I wouldn't care or something like this..."*  
*puts down his apple juice and first waits for what the others are going to say*  
*but only hears Jonas say: "Just tell her exactly that...", but he’s concentrating more on the screen and Matteo's game*  
*also glances at the game but then says to Carlos*  
I kind of agree with Jonas.  
*briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and thinks before adding*  
I would definitely tell her that she's important to you and that it's important to you that you continue the relationship and to see each other regularly... I think that doesn't come across as too clingy or anything...*  
*shrugs*  
And you can simply ask her opinion about changing universities to go back to Berlin after one or two semesters in Halle... I mean if that's even possible...  
*sees Carlos run a hand through his hair and look slightly desperate: "Man, I really hope that works out! No one manages four years of long-distance relationship, right!?"*  
*hears Abdi: "Man, Brudi, just enjoy the time while she's still here!"*  
  
Matteo:  
*starts the next level and therefore can't really participate in the conversation*  
*hears what the others are saying and nods in agreement*  
*only says*  
I agree...  
*hears Jonas laugh: "To what exactly?"*  
*feels a little caught and says*  
Umm... to what David said...  
*hears Jonas and also Abdi laugh again: "Of course!"*  
*pauses the game and leans back*  
No, seriously... I agree... you can't play any games now... tell her the truth... what you want, I mean...  
*then grins slightly*  
Make a clear statement... sometimes that works out really well...  
  
David:  
*grins at Matteo's words and Abdi's and Jonas' laughter and lovingly looks at Matteo*  
*then nods at Matteo’s words and decisively adds*  
Exactly!  
*sees Carlos look between them and then hears him ask: "So it worked out for you that way?"*  
*laughs quietly but also grimaces slightly*  
*hesitates a little and looks over to Matteo to check in before he carefully says*  
Let's put it this way... if we... well, or mostly me... would have made clear statements from the beginning, we would have gotten together 4 weeks earlier and would have saved us a lot of... crap...  
*thinks that it wasn't only crap but lovesickness at its best but doesn't say it*  
*is glad that those times are behind them*  
*looks at Carlos and says*  
Believe me, if you are open you save yourself a lot of crap! And Kiki, as well...  
*sees Carlos nod and hears him sigh: "Okay, I'll try..."*  
*then hears Jonas: "It's really something that Davenzi seem to be our new experts when it comes to relationships, right?!"*  
*laughs quietly and shakes his head*  
Sure, because we have sooo much experience...  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles and nods slightly when David looks at him*  
*then nods slightly at his answer*  
Well, we did have a few clear statements that led to success...  
*nods again when David is talking about openness*  
*laughs at Jonas' words and looks at him*  
Davenzi, seriously?  
*then shakes his head at David's words*  
It's only about the success rate and it's definitely the highest in our case  
*laughs when Jonas and Carlos simultaneously complain with "Ey!"*  
*only laughs drily and then continues playing*  
  
David:  
*grins at Matteo's addition and nods*  
Yes, to the small successes...  
*thinks about the fact that he immediately showed up at Matteo's doorstep when he held a gun to his head and about the fact that his coming-out to Matteo was also a small success – even though there was a bit of a time lag because it has somehow been ruined by the outing in the school*  
*has to grin when Carlos and Jonas simultaneously complain about Matteo, but doesn't further comment on it further and watches Matteo play*  
*at some point hears Carlos again: "Ey, Brudi, but I have one more question: If openness is so great and leads to success why weren't you, like, open to Matteo from the beginning?"*  
*takes a deep breath and then says: "Because I was scared... that Matteo would no longer like me when I'm open..."*  
*sees Carlos nod satisfied: "That's what I thought! And I am also scared of openness even though I theoretically know that it's for the best!"*  
*laughs quietly and shakes his head*  
That's something completely different. You're already together with Kiki and you know that she loves you! She knows you!  
*clears his throat and then says a little more insecurely*  
In my case it was more about being afraid that Matteo would no longer like me once he learns that I'm trans. I just felt like I would keep an important detail about me from him... but Kiki already knows everything about you and probably loves you because of it...  
*sees Carlos stare at him and doesn't know if it's a good sign or a bad sign and if Carlos understood what he was trying to say or not*  
*at some point feels Carlos put his arm around his shoulders again and hears him say: "Ey, Brudi! I think it's better if you talk to Kiki for me..."*  
*laughs quietly and only says*  
Nonsense, you can do it...  
  
Matteo:  
*at first doesn't really hear Carlos' question because he has to focus on an opponent*  
*only realizes Jonas getting a little tense next to him*  
*but then hears David's answer and quickly glances over at them, after all*  
*is a little annoyed that he has missed the question*  
*is glad when Abdi nudges him and tells him "your time's up"*  
*pauses the game and looks over at Carlos and David*  
*has to grin at David's answer because it's true and David can say it so well*  
*can't really blame Carlos for suggesting that David should talk to Kiki*  
*hears Jonas laugh next to him: "Good idea, we'll turn David into our relationship guru, if there’s anything wrong you can talk to Hanna for me..."*  
*hears Abdi say: "Only poor Matteo has to do his relationship conversations for himself..."  
*grins and shrugs*  
I can manage...  
  
David:  
*blushes when even Jonas starts with Hanna, lowers his gaze and shakes his head*  
I can't really do that, either... only in theory...  
*then hears Abdi and Matteo and lovingly looks at Matteo*  
Exactly! Basically Matteo is even better at it than I am... he was much more open and brave!  
*sees Jonas look at Matteo with a smile and Carlos look at Matteo scrutinizingly and how he eventually shakes his head: "No, I don't believe it!"*  
*leans forward and pours some more apple juice*  
*shrugs and grins slightly*  
But it's true...  
*then realizes that Carlos is distracted and looking at the screen: "Ey, is it my turn? Is the time up?!"*  
*hears Abdi laugh: "Today you don't notice anything, Digga..."*  
*sees Carlos get up and shoo Matteo from his spot: "Move over... or go back over there to cuddle... it's my turn!"*  
*takes a sip and was just about to lean back and relax while Carlos sits down and reaches for the controller when he looks at him and Matteo again: "Ey, but I have one more question for you: If you were in this situation now, let's say Luigi has a university spot in Berlin and David in Halle... what would you do then?"*  
*feels a stab in his stomach because those are exactly the thoughts he had at the beginning of this whole Kiki-Carlos long-distance-relationship-drama, so only shakes his head and murmurs*  
You don't even wanna know...  
*then gets up and asks*  
Where's the bathroom?  
*has to go anyways and doesn't really want to answer the question honestly and is therefore glad when Abdi immediately answers: "Next to the front door!"*  
*nods and lightly runs a hand over Matteo’s arm on his way out of the living room as Matteo has now made his way back to the armchair*  
  
Matteo:  
*shakes his head*  
That's not true... you're really good at it...  
*slightly shakes his head when David says that he's much better at it*  
*but then smiles when he looks at him like this*  
*sticks his tongue out at Carlos*  
Did you hear? It's true!  
*only laughs when Carlos realizes that it's his turn and gets up from his seat*  
*takes his beer from the table when Carlos asks the question and freezes slightly*  
*immediately knows the answer but also knows that David probably doesn’t not want to hear it*  
*immediately looks at David and doesn't really know what he wants to say with the answer*  
Umm...  
*then sees David basically flee from the living room and lets himself drop on the armchair with a sigh*  
*hears Carlos say a little remorseful: "Sorry, did I put my foot in my mouth?"*  
*shakes his head*  
No... don't know... not really... I told him that I would go wherever he goes... I have no idea what I want to do, anyways...  
  
David:  
*is in the bathroom and hopes that they will be done with the topic when he returns to the living room*  
*has been asking himself the theoretical question of what would happen if Matteo and he were to be in a similar situation and caught himself thinking that he would then study something else that he could do closer to Matteo*  
*has been really shocked about that thought and therefore not really thought about it much further – but because of Carlos' question it has come back*  
*knows that it's all just in theory but still worries about what if Matteo really does find something that interests him, and that Matteo and him feel so comfortable in Berlin and that their friends are here, that it would actually be crazy to leave that city again*  
*still can't get used to the idea that Matteo would really go with him and sacrifice himself so much that he simply hopes that his applications in Hamburg and Köln won't work out and that he'll instead get accepted in Potsdam or Berlin*  
*then also wonders why Kiki has already received her acceptance letter and he hasn’t, and thinks that his letters will probably arrive within the next few days*  
*stares at himself in the mirror for some time after washing his hands but then sighs quietly and goes back into the living room*  
*then sees that Carlos is now playing and that the others are concentrating and commenting on the game*  
*sits down on the armrest next to Matteo and with a smile runs his hand through his hair*  
*then also looks at the screen and is glad that they seem to be done with that topic*

Matteo:  
*sees everyone nod and hears Jonas say: "I get it... I still hope that you'll stay in Berlin."*  
*sees everyone nod again and how Carlos then starts to play*  
*looks toward the bathroom and hopes that David is all right and that he isn't thinking of some worst-case-scenarios right now*  
*smiles when he comes back and sits down next to him*  
*immediately leans his head against him and searches for his hand to squeeze it*  
*wants to ask him if everything is okay or at least tell him that he still wants to go wherever he goes, but thinks that right now isn't the right moment and plans on mentioning it when they are alone again*  
  
David:  
*puts his arm around Matteo when he leans his head against him and presses a quick kiss on his hair*  
*entwines their fingers when he reaches for his hand and briefly returns the squeeze*  
*then figures that as long as they're together nothing else matters and relaxes again somewhat*  
*at some point hears Abdi ask: "Do we take any games on our trip or are we going cold turkey?"*  
*hears Carlos: "I'm against cold turkey!" and Jonas: "Ey, the girls will kill us if we bring the playstation! It's about doing stuff with everyone..."*  
*sees Abdi grin: "That's what we're doing right now!"*  
*also grins slightly*  
Yes, but maybe outside... with exercise and stuff...  
*sees Carlos grimace slightly for a moment: "And what are we gonna do if it rains for a week!"?*  
  
Matteo:  
*closes his eyes a little because it's simply so comfortable right now*  
*only shakes his head slightly at Abdi's question*  
*laughs slightly and opens his eyes again*  
The girls won't see it like that...  
*grins at Carlos' question and wiggles his eyebrows*  
Lie in the tent and listen to the rain...  
*hears everyone laugh and Carlos say: "Yeah, yeah, you ol' romantic."*  
*only shrugs and grins*  
  
David:  
*also laughs quietly at Matteo's words and tenderly runs a hand through his hair when he talks about lying in the tent when it rains*  
*thinks that it sounds really cozy and murmurs to Matteo*  
We'll do that!  
*sees Jonas stretch and hears him say: "Well, too bad that Carlos won't be able to as he's not sleeping in a tent..." and Carlos' answer: "Ey, I’ll definitely sleep one night in a tent – no matter what Kiki says!" and Abdi: "Oh, I'm quite happy with my spot on the couch..." and Jonas: "Wuss!" and Abdi: "Ey, it's totally not chill in a tent when it rains! If you have to go to the bathroom at night or something like that..." and Jonas again: "Man, then you just hold it or you just get a few drops of rain! How awful! Besides, it's not going to rain! We are going to have sunshine for two weeks and go into the lake every days!"*  
*amusedly listens to the conversation while running a hand over the back of Matteo's hand*  
*is really excited for their holiday and really hopes that the weather will be more or less good*  
*suddenly hears Carlos: "Ey, David, Brudi, how will it be for you and the lake, anyways... you'll come in with us during our holiday, right?"*  
*feels himself get a little tense at Carlos' question and eventually answers a little nervously and sheepishly*  
Hmmm, I... dunno... I think so.  
*is glad that he has at least ordered the swim binder but really doesn't know yet if he'll be brave enough to actually wear it and swim in the lake with the others*  
  
Matteo:  
*only grins about the conversation about rain and tent*  
*doesn't think that’s going to be a problem*  
*only hopes that Carlos won't show up in their tent in the middle of the night*  
*then hears his question and immediately looks at David to see his reaction and to save him if he needs to*  
*squeezes his hand slightly*  
We can decide that spontaneously, right?  
*sees Carlos shrug*  
*then hears Abdi say: "We really don't care, dude. What you were or whatever..."*  
*shoots him an evil glance and grumbles*  
But it's not about you.  
  
David:  
*returns Matteo's squeeze and is glad that he's here and that he understands him*  
*nods at his words and then gets even more embarrassed when he hears Abdi's words, even though he's sure he only means well*  
*hears Jonas agree with Matteo: "I agree. It's about the fact that David has to feel comfortable."*  
*smiles slightly and gratefully and then hears Carlos, who briefly looks up from the game and looks at him: "Well, but Abdi is also right. Maybe it even makes it somehow easier for you if you know that we really don't care. Aren't there those neoprene thingies... the ones that divers wear or something like that... if you wear something like that, for example, then you wouldn't even see anything, right?"*  
*briefly presses his lips together and nervously squeezes Matteo's hand because it’s completely new for him that this topic is discussed so openly and he doesn't really know what to make of it*  
*on the one hand thinks that it's really good to hear that the others don't care but on the other hand thinks that it's still his body, which he doesn't like at all the way it is, and he can't really estimate if he'll ever be able to deal with it as matter-of-factly as the others would like him to*  
*hesitates before eventually answering*  
Well... it's... cool that you don't care...  
*sighs quietly and shakes his head before quietly adding*  
...but I do...  
*shrugs and insecurely responds to Carlos' comment*  
There are swim binders – they are similar to those neoprene diving tops... I... hmmm... I ordered one of those... but I really don't know yet, if I...  
*stops because he realizes that it's really difficult and is therefore glad when Jonas saves him: "Ey, Brudi, don't worry! If you feel like swimming and you're feeling comfortable, then just do it, and if you don't, then don't! Everything’s chill!"*  
*nods and sees Carlos and Abdi nod as well*  
*relaxes a little and then hears Abdi say to Carlos: "Ey, your time is up! It's David's turn!"*  
*grins slightly and waves it off*  
You can have 10 minutes from me – I promised...  
*sees Carlos grin and Abdi comment: "Ey, 10 minutes is really a lot..."*  
*leans a little more against Matteo and enjoys the 10 minutes of closeness to him he has left*  
*thinks that – as uncomfortable as talking about it is – it might be really good if the guys know how hard it is for him to go into the water and that they won't argue about it every day when they're at the lake – that it might somehow take away some of the pressure and that it really might be a little easier for him to really go swimming with them*  
  
Matteo:  
*squeezes David's hand a little tighter and also changes his position a little so that he can wrap his arm around him*  
*nods at what Jonas says and is happy that he understands it*  
*is also happy that Abdi and Carlos are so cool with all of that but can also understand that it might be a little too much for David*  
*presses a kiss on David's temple and is glad when they seem to change the subject*  
*whispers at David*  
If you want to leave, you'll tell me, right?  
  
David:  
*smiles slightly at Matteo’s words and murmurs*  
Everything okay…  
*thinks that it really is okay… the guys are interested and understanding and no one is pressuring him… it is probably just a feeling he still has to get used to*  
*then watches Carlos’ game again with the others until he pauses to take a sip of beer*  
*hears Jonas: “Ey, dude, get on with it… I’m meeting Hanna soon and I want to play again, as well!"*  
*sees Carlos shake his head unsympathetically and calmly put his beer back on the table: “Don’t rush me, Brudi! First, the mountain troll…”*  
*grins slightly when Carlos starts playing again but doesn’t manage to defeat the mountain troll*  
*hears Jonas groan: “Just let David play – he can do it!” and Carlos: “One more try!”*  
*watches as Carlos doesn’t manage it on his next try and then sees him hold the controller out to him*  
*grins slightly, quickly kisses Matteo on the forehead and then sits down on the floor in front of the armchair again and tries his luck with the mountain troll*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods slightly when David says that everything is okay*  
*laughs when Jonas says that Carlos should let David play*  
*lets go of David when it’s his turn*  
*then watches Carlos make some space and reaches his arms out for him*  
*grins at him broadly*  
Come on, Carlos, I also need a replacement!  
*laughs when Carlos basically jumps on top of him and when he cuddles him*  
*hits him slightly and then pushes him back a little, after all*  
*hears Jonas laugh and say: “Well if Carlos was jealous because you were talking to Abdi then I’m jealous now, too… do you remember when I used to be your cuddle-buddy, Luigi?"*  
*gapes at him in shock and immediately looks at David to see his reaction*  
*hears Jonas backtrack quickly as he seems to have noticed what he had just said: “Well, I mean… not that I desperately want to cuddle you, but…”*  
*sees him shrug a little helplessly*  
  
David:  
*starts the game and can see Carlos jump on Matteo from the corner of his eyes*  
*laughs quietly*  
*then hears Jonas and at first doesn’t think anything of it – only after Jonas stammers and backtracks does he realize what Jonas just said*  
*feels something tighten inside him but tries not to let it show because he thinks that it’s silly because they have already cleared this thing up and also because he doesn’t want Abdi and Carlos to notice anything and ask questions*  
*remembers how hard it was for Matteo to tell Jonas and wants to spare him from also having to explain himself to Abd and Carlos*  
*stares at the screen stubbornly and slightly petrified and presses some random buttons without really paying attention to what he’s doing until he hears Abdi: “Ey, dude, David what are you doing?! You definitely won’t defeat the troll like that!"*  
*forces himself to stop being so rigid and clears his throat because he somehow has a small lump in his throat*  
*murmurs without looking at anyone*  
Sorry… my mind was somewhere else…  
*takes a deep breath and concentrates*  
*actually manages to defeat the troll after only a short time and hears Abdi and Carlos cheer*  
*only smiles slightly but is still rather looking at the screen than anywhere else*  
*doesn’t want to see in neither Jonas’ nor Matteo’s faces that they are somehow worried about him*  
  
Matteo:  
*looks from Jonas to David and watches him closely*  
*sees his shoulders get tense and that he’s rigidly staring at the screen*  
*then almost flinches when Abdi reprimands David*  
*would love to pull David into a hug to have him close and take away the tension*  
*looks at Carlos and asks*  
How much time does he have left?  
*hears Carlos say: “3 minutes”*  
*nods slowly and then says*  
Do we want to get going after? Or maybe just go outside for a minute?  
*hears Abdi ask: “What? Why that? The night’s still young!"*  
  
David:  
*is a little annoyed that he gave Carlos his 10 minutes as he’d rather stare at the screen for 13 more minutes than only three*  
*then hears Matteo’s suggestion and doesn’t really know how to place it*  
*hears Carlos: “I don’t care either way… I still have beer here and it’s actually quite cozy right now, but if the majority wants to go outside…”*  
*doesn’t really care, either, but would rather stare at the screen for a little longer to avoid other topics of conversation*  
*murmurs slightly distracted*  
Jonas still wanted to play… he has to go meet Hanna afterwards, anyway…  
*plays for a little longer and then hears Abdi: “Time’s up!"*  
*pauses the game, briefly looks at Jonas to hand him the controller and sees him looking at him a little worried*  
*only lifts his eyebrows for a moment and smiles slightly to signal him that everything’s okay before looking away again*  
*doesn’t really like himself right now because this topic is stuck in his head once again and because he actually wanted to put it behind him and because he probably even would have managed if Jonas hadn’t somehow acted worried*  
*leans back against the armchair again, pulls his legs closer, wraps his arms around them and watches Jonas start the game*  
  
Matteo:  
*doesn’t take his eyes off David*  
*knows that he doesn’t like it when people worry about him but can’t really change that right now*  
*especially since it’s his fault and his stupid crush from the past*  
*scoots a little and then slides off the armchair to the floor next to David*  
*doesn’t know what to say, especially with Carlos and Abdi within hearing distance*  
*so simply stays next to hm and waits, basically offering himself without doing anything*  
*is quite glad that Abdi and Carlos are busy watching Jonas*  
*thinks that otherwise at least one of them would notice that something is going on*  
  
David:  
*feels Matteo slide down next to him and knows exactly that he’s worried*  
*usually finds it quite cute but right now wishes that he wouldn’t*  
*stares at the screen for a little longer but then can no longer ignore Matteo’s presence next to him and looks over at him*  
*sees that Matteo immediately returns his gaze, lifts his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly as if to say: “Stop worrying!"*  
*lets his legs fall to the side against Matteo’s to somehow signal him that everything is okay, that it’s neither Matteo’s nor Jonas’ problem that those thoughts are still somehow occupying his mind*  
*still trusts Matteo but still can’t really do anything about this stupid feeling in his gut*  
  
Matteo:  
*is at least somewhat relieved when David finally looks at him*  
*but immediately sees that what he already thought is true: that David doesn’t want him to worry*  
*shrugs one shoulder and grimaces briefly as if to say: “I can’t really help worrying about you”*  
*then slightly bumps him back with his legs*  
*then reaches his arm out and carefully wraps it around David’s shoulders*  
*then hears Carlos behind him: “Ey, Abdi, what are you looking at?"*  
*hears Abdi answer: “At those two… that’s so sick… they’re not saying a single word, but something’s going on!"*  
*slightly rolls his eyes and shakes his head*  
*hears Jonas say: “Leave them be. It’s fine."*  
  
David:  
*slightly rolls his eyes at Matteo’s expression, grins slightly and shakes his head as if to tell him that he should try*  
*then tears his gaze away from Matteo when he feels him wrap his arm around him and hesitates for only a few seconds before slightly leaning against Matteo*  
*then hears Carlos, Abdi and Jonas and at first feels his heartbeat speed up because he thinks that they did notice that they are acting weird*  
*tenses a little for only a moment, but then puts on a slightly provocative grin and says*  
We’re communicating telepathically… really cool!  
*sees Abdi look at him in slight disbelief and has to laugh quietly*  
  
Matteo:  
*also freezes a little because he actually doesn't want to explain himself*  
*is therefore grateful to Jonas and then David that they are taking some of the tension away*  
*then hears Abdi: "Oh really, and what did you say?"*  
*is just about to answer when he hears Carlos: "Dude, if they wanted you to hear it they would have said it out loud!"*  
*sees Abdi nod: "Yes, okay... I just wanted to see if it works... David, I'll whisper something in your ear and then you have to tell it to Matteo telepathically!"*  
*can't help but to laugh at the suggestion and looks at David challengingly*  
Well, then, go on...  
  
David:  
*freezes slightly when he hears Abdi's question but then nods at Carlos' question with a slight grin*  
*then laughs at Abdi's suggestion and looks to Matteo a little doubtful when he even agrees*  
*but then sighs and says*  
Okay...  
*pulls away from Matteo's arm and crawls the two meters toward Abdi*  
*has to grin when he sees Abdi seemingly think about it, but then sees him grin, lean toward him and whispers into his ear: "Matteo is a looser at Zelda!"*  
*briefly lifts his eyebrows but then nods with a grin and crawls back to Matteo*  
*sits down in front of him cross-legged and can barely contain his laughter*  
Okay.... concentrate!  
*takes a deep breath and then gets serious*  
*looks at Matteo and then points at him with his eyes, rolls his eyes as if to diss him and then uses his eyes and his head to slightly point toward the screen*  
*then briefly lowers his gaze, grins again slightly and then looks at Matteo*  
*murmurs*  
Come on, you can do it!  
  
Matteo:  
*closely observes David and Abdi*  
*sees Abdi look a little mischievous and David lift his eyebrows*  
*thinks that it's definitely something against him*  
*also sits down cross-legged and looks at David*  
*nods*  
Yes, sir.  
*nods in confirmation when he rolls his eyes, was already expecting this*  
*then sees him glance toward the screen and has to laugh slightly*  
Hmmm... let me think how Abdi would put it... Matteo sucks at Zelda.  
*hears Carlos laugh and sees Abdi shake his head: "Dude, that's creepy!"*  
  
David:  
*looks at Matteo expectantly when he thinks and then grins broadly when he almost has the right answer*  
*briefly looks at the others, who are grinning, laughing and looking gobsmacked and then simply leans forward to Matteo*  
*presses a brief kiss onto his mouth and murmurs*  
We're good...  
*didn't really think that it would work like that without any context and is a little proud of Matteo and himself*  
*then scoots back towards the armchair and hears Abdi: "Yes, okay, but that was really easy... I should have said something political or so..."*  
*shrugs slightly and grinningly says*  
Unfortunately, there's only one show per day...  
*hears Carlos say: "And next time it's my turn! Then David has to telepathically read something from Matteo!"*  
*slightly shakes his head and laughs quietly*  
*wonders if Abdi and Carlos are really taking this serious or if they are simply playing along*  
*then hears Jonas: "Fuck, I have to get going... I totally forgot the time with your telepathy-stuff..."*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins and pumps his fist in the air when he obviously guessed right*  
*kisses David back and grins*  
Of course we're good.  
*only laughs when Abdi finds excuses and shakes his head*  
*shakes his head at David's comment and points at Carlos*  
What? Are you scared that you can't read me as well as I can read you?  
*but grins at him while he says it and isn't really serious about it*  
*then hears Jonas and gets up to say goodbye to him*  
Say hi to Hanna and tell her to text me where we are supposed to meet tomorrow, ok?  
  
David:  
*only shrugs his shoulders with a grin at Matteo's question and thinks that they maybe should practice a little in case Carlos really asks them again*  
*then sees Matteo get up to say goodbye to Jonas and averts his gaze when they hug*  
*is a little annoyed at himself because of it, because everything was okay between Jonas and him*  
*hears Jonas answer: "Will do!"*  
*sees Jonas ruffle Carlos' hair and return Abdi's fist bump*  
*then sees Jonas' hand appear in front of his face when he holds it out to him invitingly: "Come on, Brudi, let me give you a hug!"*  
*knows that Jonas wants to make it easy for him and is actually pretty grateful to him*  
* hesitates only briefly but then takes his hand and lets Jonas pull him up*  
*then gets hugged and hears him whisper: "Sorry about earlier..."*  
*slightly shakes his head and murmurs*  
Everything's okay...  
*returns Jonas' smile when he pulls away from him and lets Jonas pat his shoulder again before Jonas says his goodbyes to everyone with the words: "Stay clean!"*  
*lets himself fall back into the armchair and sees that Abdi has already picked up the controller and started the game again*  
*looks at Matteo and knows exactly that he has observed the scene between him and Jonas and probably wonders again if everything's okay*  
*sighs quietly, smiles slightly and reaches his hands out for him*  
  
Matteo:  
*has remained next to the armchair after he said goodbye to Jonas to see if David might also want to leave*  
*watches Jonas pull David up and actually thinks that it's a good thing*  
*but also hopes that it's not too much for David*  
*tries to see his face but unfortunately only sees his back*  
*then sees David sit down, what seems to be a good sign*  
*smiles slightly when he reaches his arms out for him, sits down on the armchair and leans against David*  
*sees Carlos and Abdi both sitting on the couch and how Abdi reaches for the controller*  
*lifts his head a little so that his mouth is closer to David's ear and whispers*  
Level-up, alright? You're the top level, unreachable...  
  
David:  
*wraps both arms around Matteo when he leans against him like that and runs a hand through his hair*  
*enjoys being close to Matteo and thinks that the stupid feeling in his gut doesn't have anything to do with Matteo and actually neither with Jonas but that it’s only his stupid insecurity for which there is no rational reason*  
*then feels Matteo lift his head and slightly leans toward him when he realizes that Matteo wants to say something to him*  
*then hears his words and needs a minute to really understand them*  
*then feels his heartbeat pick up and suddenly feels a lump in his throat again because Matteo is simply incredible and because there is no reason to doubt the relationship to Matteo or to doubt himself because Matteo doesn’t, either, and because he's doing everything he can to prove to him how important he is to him*  
*swallows the lump and kisses his cheek because that's the only thing he can reach right now and murmurs into his ear*  
Except for you...  
*doesn't really notice anymore what Abdi and Carlos are doing and talking about on the couch because right now he's so caught up in Matteo's presence that he briefly wonders if they shouldn't go home, after all*  
*wraps his arms around Matteo a little tighter and buries his face on Matteo's shoulder*  
  
Matteo:  
*feels that David doesn't immediately understand what he means and immediately doubts having found the right words*  
*thinks about what else he could say, how to take away this stupid feeling from David that there could be anything that could become dangerous to him, to them both*  
*but then feels the kiss on his cheek and is relieved*  
*is just about to scoot a little so that he can kiss him properly when he hears his words*  
*actually wants to shake his head but suppresses it*  
*simply wraps his arms around him and kisses his hair*  
*whispers*  
Let's go home, ok?  
  
David:  
*smiles at Matteo's words and briefly thinks that the telepathy thing even works when they're not looking at each other*  
*nods into his shoulder, slowly pulls away from him and looks at the others*  
*meets Carlos' gaze, who has his eyebrows drawn up: "Ey, let me guess... you'd rather continue making out in peace and want to go home!"*  
*laughs quietly and shrugs*  
Is it that obvious?!  
*sees Abdi nod without looking away from the screen: "Pretty..."*  
*pulls away from Matteo some more and hears Carlos: "It's actually outrageous! There we are saying that it doesn't bother us when you’re always hanging around each other and make out – and instead we're the ones bothering you when you’re making out! Ey, you're really intolerant!"*  
*but sees him grin and then realizes that he's not really serious about it*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly when the two complain*  
You two prefer to be alone as well... to plan your flatshare, right?  
*sees Abdi's gaze brighten: "Oh yes, good idea!"*  
*grins and gets up from the armchair*  
*sees Carlos grin: "You've been together for so long now and you still ditch us to make out!"*  
*draws up his eyebrows*  
Not for thaaaat long...  
*sees Carlos grin and hears him say: “Get out of here already!"*  
*briefly hugs him and quickly shakes Abdi's hand*  
Ey, but if there's anything... because of Kiki or something like that... you can text anytime, ok?  
*hears Carlos: "I know that, Brudi, take care"*  
*waits for David to also say goodbye and then leaves the apartment with him*  
  
David:  
*grins when Carlos says that they should get out of here and also hugs him briefly because he stood up to do so*  
*hears Carlos say to him: "Ey and think about swimming again... it's gonna be awesome!", simply smiles briefly and nods*  
I will...  
*fist bumps Abdi, because he didn't get up and wishes them fun with planning their flatshare*  
*then leaves the apartment together with Matteo and silently follows him down the stairs to their bikes*  
*then has to wait because Matteo has locked his bike onto his and takes a deep breath*  
*thought that the afternoon was nice albeit a little emotionally exhausting – first the thing with Kiki and the long-distance-relationship, Carlos' speech about how welcome he is in their circle of friends, then him defending Matteo's protective instinct, Carlos using "retarded" again, then the discussion about swimming and finally the thing with Jonas and Matteo – and all of that within only 3 hours*  
*now simply enjoys the quiet and that he's alone again with Matteo*  
  
Matteo:  
*unlocks their bikes and moves his bike aside so that David can reach his'*  
*watches him*  
*then doesn't get onto his bike and instead pushes it and looks over to him*  
*slightly tilts his head when he also looks over*  
Do you want to talk or... just cycle home?  
  
David:  
*unlocks his bike and then pushes it over to Matteo and keeps pushing it alongside him*  
*at some point notices Matteo looking at him and returns his look*  
*smiles slightly at his question and thinks about it*  
*actually wants to talk about a lot of things – except maybe the thing with Jonas – but doesn't really know where to begin right now and what he should say*  
*therefore asks quietly*  
Let's just cycle home for now...?  
*quickly adds*  
Unless you would like to talk...  
*looks at him scrutinizingly*  
*actually doesn't want Matteo to always only consider his feelings and to always put himself last*  
  
Matteo:  
*hears his answer and nods*  
*has already expected that*  
*stops to get onto his bike when David adds something*  
*thinks about it for a moment but then shrugs*  
Dunno... I... somehow I do... but it somehow was a lot today.  
*shrugs again*  
Maybe we should go to your place first?  
  
David:  
*sees Matteo think about it and then smiles slightly when he says that he somehow does want to talk*  
*nods when he says that it had been a lot today*  
Oh yeah...  
*then nods again when Matteo says that they should go to his place first*  
*pushes his bike next to Matteo's and then starts getting up but then quickly leans over to Matteo again to quickly kiss him*  
*smiles slightly and then asks*  
And then talk and order pizza? You haven't eaten anything in over four hours... I'm a little surprised that you haven't collapsed from hunger yet...  
*grins and quickly runs a hand through his hair before really getting on his bike*  
  
Matteo:  
*grins into the kiss and nods slightly*  
*then also starts getting on his bike*  
*tilts his head and looks at him amused*  
Haha... then it's high time before I really do collapse...  
*then also grins at him and starts cycling after him*  
*is somehow happy that they can still joke and kiss even though there is something going on*  
*has a fluttering feeling in his gut, maybe something like safety, maybe something like trust that this will really work no matter what*  
*really likes that*


	22. 23.06.2019 (2) - Do you still have topics, Mr Florenzi?

**Sunday, 08:41 pm:**

David:  
*went to Laura's apartment with Matteo where they didn't order pizza because Laura saved lasagna for them*  
*has taken off the binder in the bathroom while Matteo reheated the lasagna*  
*have eaten together in the living room in front of the TV and went to his room after doing the dishes*  
*could calm down a bit emotionally during the time and now lies quite relaxed on the bed on the side opposite Matteo and looks at him while reviewing the afternoon*  
*wonders how Matteo has experienced all this and what he would like to talk to him about and asks him quietly at some point*  
All good?

Matteo:  
*lies cozy and full on David's bed*  
*rolls onto his side and sees David looking at him*  
*smiles slightly*  
*hears his question and thinks about the events of the afternoon*  
*nods slightly*  
Yes... by the way I don't plan to apply in Halle...  
*takes David's hand that is between them and interlocks their fingers together*  
Are you afraid we won't make it?

David:  
*smiles when Matteo says he has no intention of applying in Halle and looks at their fingers that Matteo is just interlocking*  
*murmurs*  
Good...  
*draws circles over the back of M's hand with his thumb at his question and briefly presses his lips together*  
*doesn’t really know if Matteo means that he is afraid that they wouldn't be able to handle a long-distance relationship or that they wouldn't be able to handle the situation*  
*shakes his head slightly and looks at him again*  
When Carlos asked earlier what we would do in such a situation and I imagined you had something permanent in Berlin and me in Halle... or the other way around...  
*sighs softly and then continues*  
I know that we could somehow make it...  
*shakes his head then and laughs softly and a little desperate*  
...but I don't want to make it at all.  
*lowers his gaze again and looks at their hands before continuing slightly embarrassed*  
I just don't want to be separated from you!  
*smiles slightly*  
And if I had answered Carlos honestly, I would have told him that I would quit my studies and find something else just to be with you...  
*smiles slightly and looks up to Matteo again*  
It's probably not really good advice for them...  
*slightly shrugs his shoulders again*

Matteo:  
*takes a good look at him*  
*sees how he presses his lips together and knows that he is thinking about how to say it*  
*gently runs his thumb over the back of his hand and waits*  
*nods slightly when David said that they would somehow make it*  
*also assumes this, but he still doesn't like the idea*  
*looks a little confused for a moment when he says he doesn't want to make it and panics for a moment about what that means*  
*is then relieved when he hears David and thinks that this happens more and more often, that he suspects the worst and David says the exact opposite*  
*says fast*  
Me neither!  
*nods as David continues, because he sees it the same way*  
Probably not good advice, nope...  
*squeezes his hand again lightly and looks at him*  
But listen, you have your dream, your goal, filmmaking... I don't even have a plan... we'll go where you can study filmmaking... it's easy.

David:  
*smiles slightly when Matteo says he doesn't want to be separated from him either, and grins a little when he agrees that he can't give good advice to Carlos and Kiki*  
*returns his gaze as he speaks, smiles slightly again, but then shrugs his shoulders*  
And what if next month /the/ idea comes to you what you want to do... or in two months... or next week?! And what if I have a place to study in Hamburg and what you want to do is only available in Berlin!?  
*grumbles frustrated*  
I know this may all be hypothetical, but...  
*shakes his head slightly and bites his lower lip briefly*  
... you are more important to me than filmmaking! I can also wait one or two semesters for filmmaking or do something completely different if you find something you want to do...

Matteo:  
*laughs slightly and shakes his head*  
Something you can only do in Berlin? What is that? Picking up dog shit? Or selling drugs to hippies?  
*tilts his head slightly when David realizes that it's all just hypothetical*  
*then shakes his head*  
This is bullshit! You want to study filmmaking. Even if I find something, it's probably just a "yeah, I could do that" thing and I'm sure I can do it anywhere.  
*looks at him seriously*  
Why don't you want us to put you first?

David:  
*also smiles a little bit and shrugs when it comes to jobs in Berlin*  
No idea... maybe somebody knows someone who knows somebody and could give you some dream job here...  
*pulls a face when Matteo says it's bullshit because he actually knows that Matteo is right and that jobs are really everywhere*  
*sees his serious look and hears his question and thinks about what his problem really is*  
*it’s more like a gut feeling and he can’t put it into words*  
*shakes his head slightly and mumbles*  
I don't know...  
*sighs softly and then tries*  
I think it's okay when we put me first... but I just don't want you to...  
*looks at him seriously, too*  
Promise me that if - just hypothetically - something comes up in the next few weeks that interests you... that you won't take me into account, okay? I don't want you to back off just because we said we'd put me first, because you don't have any plans yet anyway. If you know something, then we'll discuss it again!

Matteo:  
*laughs when David thinks he might know someone*  
Quite unlikely...  
*then sighs softly as David says he doesn't know either*  
*tilts his head when he says he doesn't want him to cut back*  
Okay...  
*bites his lips slightly and for once he speaks directly without arranging his thoughts first*  
Or... we just say... it's not up to us... so it is up to us, but not like that... we just say Berlin is number one... not you or me or who gets accepted into a certain university or what dream job... we say if even one of us gets something in Berlin, we'll stay here, ok?

David:  
*smiles slightly when Matteo agrees to re-discuss if he finds something he's interested in and looks at him scrutinizing and a little skeptical because it was easier than he thought to talk to him into it*  
*thinks that Matteo assumes he won't find anything, anyway*  
*then listens to his flow of speech and raises his eyebrows skeptically when he says it's not about them at all*  
*grins slightly and is about to ask who it is about when Matteo continues speaking*  
*thinks about his suggestion, finally sighs softly and shrugs*  
Okay, um...  
*smiles slightly*  
*hopes that he will actually get a place to study in Berlin, but is also quite afraid that this will not work out*  
*repeats anyway*  
Okay... Berlin sounds good!

Matteo:  
*looks at him when he agrees*  
*wants to know if it's really okay*  
*then grins and moves a little bit to kiss him*  
And if nobody finds anything in Berlin... then we will discuss again. Deal?

David:  
*raises his eyebrows with a grin as Matteo checks him off and then comes towards him for the kiss*  
*nods to his words*  
Deal!  
*turns on his back and stretches slightly*  
*smiles again*  
You see - everything is very easy if you are just open... Nice that we now follow our tips to others in the meantime ourselves...  
*just turns his head to him and laughs softly *  
*then however gets more serious again and asks*  
Another topic you openly want to talk to me about, Mr. Florenzi?

Matteo:  
*grins as David lies on his back*  
*stays on his side and supports his head on his hand so that he can look at David better*  
*laughs at his next words*  
Hey, you heard it... we are the top relationship guides... and I think we've managed the being open thing for quite a while now...  
*looks at him slightly questioning as his face gets more serious*  
*listens to his question and thinks*  
*thinks about the Jonas thing from this afternoon and doesn't know if he should actually bring it up again*  
*shakes his head slowly*  
Maybe that you are looking very good again today, Mr. Schreibner.  
*smiles at him*  
Do you still have topics?

David:  
*laughs at Matteo's words to the topic relationship guide and shakes his head*  
Whatever the reason why they chose us... Kiki and Carlos have been together much longer... and Jonas and Hanna have basically been together for a few months already...  
*nods when Matteo says that they are doing quite well with the openness and smiles*  
*thinks that although it is still difficult for him sometimes, it is by far not as difficult as in the beginning and that it is getting easier each time*  
*nods as Matteo shakes his head and has no more topics*  
*then hears his compliment, turns slightly red, but imitates his grin with a slight secretary's-office-look*  
*looks briefly at the ceiling again at his question and considers*  
*then nods and says*  
Yup! Two!  
*looks at him and grins slightly*  
Do you want the nice or the serious topic first?

Matteo:  
*laughs as he talks about the other couples and shrugs his shoulders*  
They just know that we are the best.  
*just smiles smugly as he gets the secretary's-office-look*  
*now takes that as a compliment*  
*lifts his eyebrows when he says he has two topics*  
*thinks about it for an exaggeratedly long amount of time and then says*  
Serious first, please.

David:  
*somehow expected Matteo to want to hear the serious stuff first and turns back on his side to be able to look at him more comfortably*  
*briefly presses his lips together and searches for words*  
*just says*  
The thing with Jonas... I told you that it is okay for me and that I trust you. And it really helped me that you brought it up in front of Jonas when we were at Hanna’s. But I just don't want to...  
*hesitates briefly and then continues*  
... maybe you could try not to look at me as if I was about to flee or collapse when something like this happens?  
*wonders if maybe that was somehow too harshly formulated and continues to explain himself*  
I mean, I probably wouldn't have even noticed today what Jonas actually said, if he hadn't corrected himself immediately and you hadn't looked at me like that... after all, it's not so bad with Carlos when he says things like that.  
*takes a deep breath and shakes his head slightly*  
I just don't want any special treatment because of it. If I still have a problem with it, then it has nothing to do with you or Jonas...  
*reluctantly reaches for his hand and mumbles*  
Sorry, I know you're just worried, but I just don't want to be treated with kid gloves on this one, okay? You told me that the subject is closed for you and that you don't feel about Jonas like that anymore and if it still feels weird to of me, it's not your fault!

Matteo:  
*looks at him as he turns on his side*  
*wonders what the serious topic can be*  
*but has no time to think about possibilities, because then he already hears it: Jonas*  
*immediately has that look again, which David obviously means when he continues speaking*  
*presses his lips together while he listens to him*  
*maybe he holds his hand a little tighter than usual when he gives it to him*  
*thinks that he can understand David, as he probably wouldn't like that himself either*  
*but also thinks that he doesn't know if he can just turn off his worries*  
*swallows heavily and then nods slowly when David seems to be finished*  
Okay... I'll try... but... even if it's not my fault... I still want you to be okay...  
*sighs slightly and shrugs with one shoulder*  
Maybe today was a bit overdone and I'm sorry about that, but I still want you to tell me if something is annoying you or makes you feel uncomfortable, ok?

David:  
*runs his thumb over the back of Matteo’s hand as he squeezes his hand harder than usual so that he somehow relaxes*  
*smiles when Matteo says that he still wants him to be okay and continues to listen to him*  
*shakes his head slightly and interrupts him with a mumble*  
You don't have to apologize...  
*thinks that Matteo couldn't have known that it was bothers him and that he was actually just worried*  
*nods when Matteo finishes and says softly*  
Okay.  
*to make Matteo understand it better he quietly adds in explanation*  
You know, if you look at me anxiously with Jonas’ every touch or says the wrong word, you're making a big deal out of it. And then I somehow think it's a big deal and you also say that it wasn't a big deal... or no longer is... but when such big things are always in the room, then I can't get past this stupid feeling...  
*pulls his hand out of Matteo’s and gently strokes his cheek*  
*smiles*  
The thing with us is a big thing - I prefer to think about that...

Matteo:  
*listens to him and nods slowly*  
*somehow thought he had to give him some kind of immediate reassurance when something like this happened*  
*just realizes now that he's only making it worse*  
*nods again*  
Makes sense... yeah... it's no big deal, okay... I can do it.  
*smiles slightly and then even more as David strokes his cheek*  
*looks at him lovingly while saying*  
You loon...  
*leans forward and gives him a quick kiss*  
And now the nice topic!

David:  
*just smiles even more when Matteo calls him a loon and moves a little closer for the kiss *  
*grins when he wants to hear the nice topic, leans back again and shrugs his shoulders briefly*  
*thinks that it is not really worth mentioning, but still wants to get rid of it*  
Carlos really surprised me with his speech today... the speech about you... how you are, how you treat each other and all that... and that the guys really want me to be there and they don't mind if we sit on each other like that.  
*just shrugs a shoulder again and says*  
Okay, maybe it's not worth mentioning, but in this moment it somehow clicked for me that it's actually the case.  
*laughs softly*  
I would never have thought that he could make such a serious statement.

Matteo:  
*listens to him and automatically smiles when he understands what he’s talking about*  
Yeah, they are like that... the guys... can really surprise you.  
*plays with David's fingers again and then looks at him*  
And let me put it this way: It was not my idea to invite you into the chat  
*smiles a little*  
So good that it has clicked for you ... because they do not make friends with just anyone like that ...  
*grins and gives him a kiss*  
They already know who is good.

David:  
*smiles slightly when Matteo says it wasn't his idea to invite him into the chat and annoys him*  
No!? Now I'm disappointed...  
*but laughs and then nods exaggeratedly at Matteo's next words*  
*does not quite believe that the boys already know who is good, thinks it was more of a coincidence that they like him and it somehow fits*  
*turns back on his back and smiles to himself*  
The guys are definitely a reason why staying in Berlin is not the worst idea...


	23. June 24, 2019 (1) - I thought that was an undershirt

**Monday, 3:23 pm:**  


_WhatsApp, David/Carlos:_  
  
Voice message from Carlos, 3:23 pm:  
Hey Brudi, I just googled swimming and transgender because I wanted to know what you were talking about and it's really interesting what kind of stuff there is. Well, those swim binders you were talking about... anyways, I wanted to say sorry again in case I somehow offended you on Sunday... well, I'd find it really cool if you could come into the water with us, but I also read some experience reports and stuff and there are really a lot of trans people who don't go into the water at all, and some who don't mind at all... so because of that dysphoria or what it's called... ey, all of that's totally new for me... so, what I actually wanted to say: Everything's chill! Do whatever you want to! But I would still love it if you came into the lake with us! And the others, too, I think. And I don't think that anyone would mind or look at you weirdly if you wore such a swim binder thing.  
  
David, 4:30 pm:  
Don't worry about Sunday. I just wasn't used to talking about it openly until I met you guys and sometimes it's still a little difficult for me. But I actually think it's a good thing that you guys are so interested in that topic and also that you ask questions when you want to know something. So yeah... dysphoria is quite the key word. I just have to see how I’m feeling when we're on holiday – I'm not saying that I definitely won't go into the water with you... but anyways, it's cool that you did some research.  
  
Carlos, 4:35 pm:  
I've read some more... not about dysphoria, I'll do that later. But if you say that it's okay for us to ask questions then I have one for you: Those binders – there aren't only those for swimming. Do you really wear that every day?! :-O  
  
David, 4:39 pm:  
Correct, there aren't only those for swimming. The swim binders are made from a different material. And yes, I wear a binder every day – at least whenever I'm amongst other people.  
  
Carlos, 4:43 pm:  
Woah! I really never noticed... well I've never really thought about what it looks like under your shirt in the first place – I didn't mean to offend you with that. Not even when I first learned that you were trans. I always thought that it was an undershirt or something like that...  
  
David, 4:45 pm:  
*several laughing emojis*  
That's somehow cute!  
  
Carlos, 4:46 pm:  
I'm not cute :-P  
  
Carlos, 4:50 pm:  
But aren't those things super uncomfortable!? I mean, doesn't that bother you... especially now that it's summer?  
  
David, 5:03 pm:  
Let's put it like this: It would bother me more if I wouldn't wear one. Because then you could see – depending on what I wear you can see it more or not as much – that my body just isn't as male as I would like it to be.  
Those things aren't really comfortable but you get used to it. It's just that they press down on your chest, lungs and ribs. That's why it's recommended to not wear them more than 8 hours at a time... if I wear it for too long then at some point it gets more difficult to breathe and my back hurts...  
  
Carlos, 5:05 pm:  
And it's not an alternative to simply not wear it? Well, at least when we’re amongst us... none of us would care if you can see something or not...  
  
David, 5:09 pm:  
I would care.  
  
David, 5:13 pm:  
It was already hard for me to take the binder off in front of Matteo. But since we're basically together all the time, at some point I couldn’t really avoid it anymore. But it took a lot of willpower and time to not feel uncomfortable without it in his presence. If you're interested in that topic than maybe you really should read some more about dysphoria.  
  
Carlos, 5:15 pm:  
I will. But still, it's quite an ordeal – as if forcing someone who only wears sweatpants to wear a suit every day...  
  
David, 5:16 pm:  
Like I said, you get used to it. But I'm still looking forward to after my surgery when I don't need to bind anymore.  
  
Carlos, 5:15 pm:  
Woah, chest surgery?! To remove your breasts? You really want to get that done!? When?  
  
David, 5:22 pm:  
The application for cost coverage for a mastectomy has been approved 4 weeks ago. Now I have appointments for consultations at hospitals. Once I make a decision at which hospital I want to have the surgery done it will still be another 3 to 6 months before I can expect an appointment.  
  
Carlos, 5:24 pm:  
Ey, I only have to read application ... sounds like a similar hassle to what you had to do with your ID.  
  
David, 5:26 pm:  
Yes, it's similar.  
  
Carlos, 5:28 pm:  
Ey, Brudi, I keep my fingers crossed. I really will go and do some more research on dysphoria and stuff... I don't want to always put my foot in my mouth...  
  
David, 5:32 pm:  
Don't worry about it – I'm slowly getting used to you guys putting your feet in your mouth and I'm actually quite glad that you're all so open about it. It does make it easier for me in the long run, even though I never would have thought that. So if you have questions feel free to ask again.  
  
Carlos, 5:33 pm:  
I will, thanks, Brudi!  
  
David, 5:34 pm:  
Speaking of being open: Have you talked to Kiki yet?  
  
Carlos, 5:37 pm:  
Noo, not yet... we're going to meet up tomorrow. I'm a little scared...  
  
David, 5:39 pm:  
You can do it! I'll keep my fingers crossed!  
  
Carlos, 5:40 pm:  
Thanks!


	24. June 24, 2019 (2) - So you still don't have a plan?

**Monday, 3:57 pm:**  
  
Hanna:  
*is sitting on a bench close to the school, two coffee-2-go cups next to her, holding her face into the sun while waiting for Matteo*  
*thinks that it's great that it's already so warm and hopes that they will have great weather like this when they're on holiday*  
*quickly looks at her phone to check the time but realizes that it's not yet 4 pm and is expecting Matteo to arrive a little after 4 than right on time*  
*puts her phone back in her bag, closes her eyes again and keeps sunbathing*  
  
Matteo:  
*is quite punctual for his standards and arrives at the park at 4 o'clock*  
*but then needs a few minutes to find Hanna*  
*grins when he sees her with her eyes closed and kicks the bench*  
Hannananana, na? Everything alright?  
*grins when she opens her eyes and gives her a quick hug before sitting down next to her*  
*ruffles around in his backpack and takes out a packet of cookies to present them to Hanna*  
*laughs when she gives him coffee in exchange*  
We're well prepared.  
  
Hanna:  
*flinches slightly when someone kicks the bench and opens her eyes*  
*grins when she sees that it's Matteo*  
Naaa?  
*returns the hug and nods*  
Everything alright. What about you?  
*laughs when he takes out the cookies and hands him the coffee*  
Perfect! Just imagine if both of us had brought coffee or both of us had brought cookies...  
*grins*  
*takes a cookie and leans back into the sun again and closes her eyes for a moment*  
Awww... the weather is so nice! I hope it stays like this forever!  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs*  
We're simply a good team.  
*takes a careful sip from his coffee and realizes that it has a good drinking temperature*  
*grins when she leans back again*  
*also takes a cookie*  
No, I hope not... I prefer fall...  
*sighs slightly and leans back*  
But if it were fall already then I'd already have to do something with my life, so I guess summer is quite nice, after all...  
  
Hanna:  
*bites into her cookie and with her mouth half full says*  
I feel like we have way too much fall and way too little summer...  
*grins slightly but then gets serious again when Matteo mentions life after summer*  
*sits up a little, pulls one leg up on the bench and turns to face him*  
So you still don't have a plan? Any idea in what direction you might want to go?  
*says it completely without judgment – it had been quite similar for her until a few days ago, after all*  
*takes a sip from her coffee*  
  
Matteo:  
*can't hear any judgment from her, either*  
*she's also one of the few people he doesn't find it hard to be open with, where he doesn't feel pressured*  
No, not really... I know all the things I don't want to do... some boring office-job, I don't want to be a teacher, I don't want to study something with which I can't do anything later, after all... but otherwise...  
*shrugs*  
Everyone else has already applied and waits excitedly or have already been accepted, but me?  
*shakes his head*  
I'll probably sit on the checkout counter at Aldi forever or something like that.  
  
Hanna:  
*grins a little at the things Matteo is listing and then nods*  
It's the same for me. There are 1000 things that I /can't/ imagine doing.  
*but then keeps listening to him before telling him about her*  
*nods when he mentions the others*  
Yes! And some of them seem to be so sure – I can't really understand that!  
How am I supposed to already know what I want to do for the rest of my life?  
*then laughs when he mentions Aldi*  
I've heard that it's not a bad job...  
  
Matteo:  
*nods when Hanna understands him*  
Yes, all of them... Jonas wanted to be a teacher for as long as I've known him... David has told me that he wanted to study filmmaking when we met for the second time and he already knows exactly where and how he has to apply...  
*shrugs*  
I mean, it's great for them and everything... but...  
*shrugs again*  
I think you should be able to do nothing for a year, or all kinds of jobs for a week or something, to try it, and afterwards you decide...  
*then looks at her*  
So you don't have a real plan, either?  
  
Hanna:  
*is also happy for the people who simply know what they want to do, but at the same time is also a little jealous*  
*nods at his thoughts on the try-out-year and says*  
Yes, something like that would be cool! But you'd probably have to arrange that yourself in the form of internships – but you also have to get those in the first place. Something like that would have to be somehow supervised and supported!  
*tilts her head at Matteo's question*  
Well, I kinda know a little bit what I might want to do...  
*sees his questioning look and continues*  
I would really like to do something with people... preferably with children or teenagers, but I don't really want to be a teacher or a kindergarten teacher... that would somehow be too much educational responsibility... I just want to somehow... help?  
*laughs quietly because that somehow sounds stupid*  
I could study social work but I don't really know if I can do it, to be honest. And then I studied something for three or four years and realize only afterwards that it's not my thing... that's also really stupid.  
*takes a sip of coffee*  
Well, anyways, I did some research and last week I applied for a Voluntary Year of Social Service...  
  
Matteo:  
*takes another sip from his coffee and takes another cookie as he listens to her*  
*nods*  
Yeah, there should be pre-planned stations that you just go through...  
*looks at her interested when she says that she now has at least some idea*  
*then nods at what she says, feels similar about it*  
Yes, educational responsibility isn't really my thing, either...  
*nods at what she says about studying, feels like this about every subject*  
*then looks surprised*  
Voluntary Year of Social Service? That's still a thing? I thought that was abolished when compulsory military service was abolished?  
*slightly nods approvingly*  
But that sounds quite nice... is quite similar, right? To check it out for a year, see what it's like...  
  
Hanna:  
*laughs quietly*  
Yes – that’s still a thing!  
*then shrugs*  
Well, you don't go through various stations but you only pick one thing at the beginning. And in between you have several seminars where you meet others and exchange your experiences. I think at these seminars you also learn what it's like somewhere else. Anyways, they've sent me a really long list of facilities in Berlin where they are still looking for people – there really is /everything/ on it: schools, youth centers, homeless shelters, mother-child facilities... everything really!  
*grimaces slightly*  
I'm quite overwhelmed with all the options. But I have to make a decision until tomorrow because I have a meeting with the head of this facility...  
  
Matteo:  
*frowns slightly when she tells him about all the things you can do*  
*thinks that it doesn't sound too bad for one year, just to check it out*  
*then looks a little confused*  
Huh? You applied to some central office and they send you a list of 1000 facilities and how do you know who wants you? Or did they already send it to them on your behalf?  
*doesn't really know how all of this works*  
What if you apply for a Voluntary Year of Social Service but you definitely don't want to go to a mother-child facility?  
  
Hanna:  
*takes another cookie and starts to eat it*  
*frowns and tries to answer Matteo's questions*  
Well, as far as I understood it, all the facilities that want one or two or three people reach out to the central office. They then know which facilities are still looking for people and send the list to the applicants – the list is divided into health care, child and youth services, culture, addiction treatment centers etc. ... Then you go to the appointment there and tell them which area or specific facility you are interested in. Apparently you can also list several...  
*shrugs*  
... and then they forward your application to those facilities. And those facilities then invite you for a job interview and if they want you the central office takes that facility off their list... unless they are looking for more than one person...  
*grins and draws up her eyebrows*  
Sounds awfully complicated but the system is actually quite good, isn't it?  
  
Matteo:  
*listens to her concentrated*  
*nods slowly*  
That actually sounds quite nice...  
*then looks at her*  
And do they still accept applications or is the deadline already over?  
*wonders if he might have just found something that he could do*  
*briefly has to think of his father and if he would approve of it*  
*but then shakes his head because he actually doesn't really care*  
  
Hanna:  
*nods and smiles when Matteo says that it sounds quite nice*  
I thought so, too...  
*slightly tilts her head when she hears Matteo's next question and grins*  
They still accept applications. It doesn't start until September...  
*suddenly gets really excited and grabs Matteo's arm*  
Aaahhh... don't tell me you're thinking about doing it, as well!? That would be so cool! Then we'd most likely have the seminars together and if we don't understand something we could ask each other...  
*lets go of him and pulls her backpack closer*  
Hang on... I have the list here...  
*laughs quietly*  
Then you can have a look and give me some advice on what I should do...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs and gets wide-eyed when Hanna suddenly gets so excited*  
Yeah... better than doing nothing, right?  
*wiggles the arm Hanna has grabbed and cheers exaggeratedly*  
I'll tell them that I'm gay then we can surely share a room...  
*laughs*  
*is somehow happy that she' so happy*  
*is somehow still a little surprised when people really like spending time with him*  
*then nods*  
Sure, I'd love to... tell me the ones that you might be interested in...  
  
Hanna:  
*laughs when Matteo says that they can surely share a room*  
Well, it's worth a try...  
*has now found the list but shakes her head with a laugh at Matteo's request*  
Nooo – that's almost 10 pages!  
*hands him the list*  
You can skim over it if you want...  
*also peers at it and then says*  
Well I was considering maybe going to a youth center. But a children's home would also be cool... or something completely different...  
*skims over the list and shakes her head at some of the things*  
I think an addiction treatment center would be too much for me... and I don't really think that I'm equipped to work with disabled people...  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs slightly*  
Well, logically speaking they shouldn't be able to have anything against it, right? Whereas, the big danger's always only sex.  
*makes a dramatic noise and grins*  
*then suddenly has the list in his hands and gapes at it*  
Youth center doesn't sound too bad to me, either... I'm not really too crazy about working with small children... I could maybe imagine working with disabled people, but I also think that an addiction treatment center would be a bit too much...  
*has already skimmed over the list while he talked to Hanna*  
And with which one of those do you have an appointment?  
*then notices a facility at the bottom of page 3: "Lambda – youth center for LGBT+ youth" and plans to remember the name and to google it later*  
  
Hanna:  
*nods in agreement to Matteo's opinion*  
*could also imagine him more working with teenagers or even disabled people than with small children – although.... if she thinks about it a little more*  
*has to grin a little at the thought*  
I think you could grow into working with small children... I can really imagine it... you with a little rugrat on your lap...  
*grins again but then answers his question*  
Not any of the facilities, yet. Tomorrow I have to tell them to which facilities they should forward my application... maybe I'll just check out several facilities before I make a decision...  
*reaches for her cup and takes a sip while leaning back over the list*  
  
_WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _David:_  
 _I'm done at the doctor's and on my way to Laura's apartment. Do you want to come over later or should I come to the flatshare! Say hi to Hanna! I'm looking forward to seeing you! <3_  
  
Matteo:  
*tilts his head slightly and looks at her scrutinizingly*  
I think you've had too much coffee, that doesn't agree with you... I would be completely in over my head and would probably drop those things all the time...  
*but then nods when he understands*  
Ah, okay, I see...  
*hands the list back to her*  
I'd suggest that you list every youth center that isn't in the middle of nowhere... um, could you send me your application? I mean... if it's okay... for how much longer can you apply?  
*then feels his phone vibrate and pulls it from his pocket*  
Sorry...  
*reads the message and has to smile automatically*  
*replies quickly*  
  
_WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _I can come over when we're done. And get your laptop ready, we might need it ;) see you later <3_  
  
Hanna:  
*laughs when he talks about the "things" and shakes her head*  
I don't believe you! You just don't have any experience! I'll bring my cousin over for you to babysit so you can practice...  
*laughs even more when she sees the look on his face and calms him down*  
That was a joke!  
*adds with a smile*  
But my cousin really is sweet!  
*then takes back the list and slowly nods at his suggestion*  
That's not a bad idea. But I think I'll also list child homes...  
*smiles and immediately nods*  
Sure, I can do that! No problem! I'll send it to you once I'm back home...  
*shrugs at his next question*  
No idea... I don't think they have a real deadline – they even accept latecomers. But if I were you, I'd still hand in the application as soon as possible – otherwise the good facilities will all be gone...  
*smiles slightly and nods when he apologizes and takes his phone out of his pocket*  
*sees his smile and thinks that it’s probably David who texted*  
*waits until he’s finished with his reply and puts the list back in her backpack while she waits*  
*looks at him with a broad grin when he looks up from his phone and pokes him in the side*  
Someone should really take a picture of you when you get a message from him or when you look at him...  
*grins slightly*  
  
_WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _David:_  
 _Will do... whatever we need it for! See you later :-*_  
  
Matteo:  
*is happy that she is so willing to help and even lets the shock with the cousin slide for it*  
Thanks.  
*then nods*  
Yes, I'll get it ready as quickly as I can... I think I've never written a job application in my entire life... kudos to our great education system... but I'll figure it out.  
*looks a little indignant when she pokes him*  
*but then grins*  
Yeah, yeah, I have a David-smile, I've already been told...  
*shrugs*  
All of you have a smile like that, only when it's me it's such a huuuuge deal.  
*peers at his phone and reads the response but doesn't answer*  
  
Hanna:  
*laughs quietly*  
Yeah, really! They should have taught us something like that in school... but you'll figure it out! It's not that difficult. You can also find help online and you can also orient yourself a little on my application.  
*takes another cookie*  
*grins at the term "David-smile" and says excitedly*  
True! You really do!  
*shakes her head when he says that everyone has a smile like that and laughs quietly*  
No, my friend! Only you have a smile like that!  
*mentally goes through all of the couples she knows and knows smiling faces from Mia and Kiki, but also knows annoyed and confused and desperate and embarrassed and indifferent faces when it comes to Carlos and Alex*  
*then smiles and says*  
It's great that you're so happy... tell him I said hi later!  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs when she's so excited about it*  
*shakes his head when she says that only he has a smile like that*  
Nonsense... you also have a Jonas-smile, and Jonas has a very intense Hanna-smile, and Carlos, too when it comes to Kiki...  
*but then has to smile at the thought that they really might be the happiest couple*  
I will... Oh, and I'm also supposed to tell you he said hi, of course...  
*takes another cookie*  
And what else is going on with you? Did your father get on your case when you asked for the car for the holidays?  
  
Hanna:  
*sighs when he disagrees*  
Oh Matteo...  
*slightly shakes her head, but smiles*  
*isn't going to argue with him because she knows how difficult it is for him to admit it when he's really good at something or did well and also when he simply has or is something special*  
*hopes that he still knows it, even though he can't admit it*  
*then grins when he tells her hi from David and nods*  
Thanks!  
*leans back again and enjoys the sun that is already a little lower by now*  
Otherwise I'm really good.  
*shakes her head when he asks about the car*  
No, you know him! As long as I'm happy... I'm just supposed to drive careful and only let people drive that are responsible and don't get up to nonsense and stuff like that...  
*then looks at him again*  
And what about you? Or both of you? Any news?  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly and nudges her*  
Oh, Hanna...  
*also leans back when she does*  
*but turns his head so that he can look at her*  
Yeah, that's what he's like our Mr. Jung...  
*laughs*  
So neither Alex nor Abdi...  
*slightly shakes his head at her question*  
Not really...  
*thinks about the second consultation that's scheduled for next Monday and that he's somehow nervous, almost more nervous than with the first one*  
*can't and doesn't want to tell Hanna about it, because that's up to David*  
David has sent out all his applications and is waiting to hear from the unis... oh, and after our holiday we'll visit his godmother...  
*looks at her with wide eyes*  
In David's case that's like getting introduced to the parents... with his godmother it matters, so I have to behave...  
*laughs slightly*  
  
Hanna:  
*laughs at the mention of Alex and Abdi and nods*  
Exactly!  
*then hears that David has sent out all of his applications*  
Oh, I'll keep my fingers crossed for him! It's supposed to be really difficult to get in.  
*then hears the thing with the godmother and grins when Matteo says that he has to behave*  
Ohhh... that's going to be difficult.  
*laughs and shakes her head*  
Nonsense, you're the perfect son-in-law! It'll be fine!  
*considers for a moment if she's allowed to ask but then simply does it*  
And his parents? Are you also going to meet them one day? Or does he not have any contact with them?  
*has finished her coffee and crumples up and plays with the empty cup*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods*  
Yes, he was quite nervous and antsy... but Leonie has this cousin, Olli, who is already in film school and he helped him a bit...  
*laughs and shakes his head*  
Not really... but I'll manage.  
*then hesitates for a moment when he hears her next question*  
*doesn't really know how much he can and should tell her*  
Well, I don't know... he does have contact with them but it's not like he's crazy about seeing them or for me to meet them...  
*shrugs slightly*  
It's not so easy.  
  
Hanna:  
*hears about Leonie's cousin and is a little surprised*  
*didn't know that David and Leonie were still in contact*  
*says a little tunelessly*  
Oh, that's nice...  
*and a little more positive*  
Then I'm sure it'll work out!  
*then listens to Matteo when he tells her about David's parents and realizes that he understandably doesn’t really want to go into detail*  
*nods at what he tells her and then says*  
Well, at least he has his sister and his godmother... I'm sure it would be even more difficult without any family...  
*then changes the subject because she doesn't want Matteo to feel uncomfortable about the topic of "David's family"*  
Hey, but Jonas has told me that David has his new ID! Really cool!  
*laughs quietly*  
And Jonas was super happy that David texted him...  
  
Matteo:  
*rather doesn’t comment on the thing with Leonie's cousin*  
*knows that Leonie and Hanna have declared a constant truce but that they will most likely never be friends again*  
*then nods*  
Yes, the two of them are really great for him.  
*immediately grins when she mentions the ID*  
Oh, yes, finally! He was really happy!  
*then laughs as well*  
Yeah? But that's really cool... I think it really did him some good the other day at our barbecue that Jonas understood him and that he was so interested in him and so on...  
  
Hanna:  
*is happy for David and says with a smile*  
Oh yes, I can imagine! It must really suck that whenever you have to show your ID there's a wrong name on it...  
*nods when Matteo mentions their barbecue*  
*grins slightly*  
And it did Jonas some good to hear from him afterwards because he thought that he somehow screwed things up with his comments in the beginning... but that was also really difficult... I felt really sorry for David.  
*lightly bumps his shoulder*  
It was really brave of you to tell Jonas! I think that saved the evening for all of us!  
  
Matteo:  
*nods strongly*  
Oh, yes, definitely... he tried to avoid it as much as he could...  
*grimaces slightly*  
*then shrugs one shoulder*  
Well, Jonas didn't know about it at that point...  
*then smiles slightly when she says that it was brave*  
Well, I just thought that it wasn't fair to you two either that you had to keep your mouths shut for me and that David had to listen to all of that...  
*bumps her back*  
Thanks for keeping your mouth shut for me for so long.  
  
Hanna:  
*smiles and shakes her head*  
What would have been in it for me if I had told him?!  
*shakes her head again*  
No, that was always up to you. That actually would have outed you... outing you as gay as well as outing you that you had a crush. And the latter is often difficult even for heteros.  
*pulls her legs up onto the bench and crosses them*  
But, anyways, it's true that everyone has to decide for themself when and to whom to come out.  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles slightly at her words*  
*nods*  
Yep, I agree... I was mostly lucky... even though word about it did get around I was still able to come out to most people myself...  
*takes the last cookie, breaks it in two and hands Hanna one half*  
  
_WhatsApp Laura/Matteo:_  
 _Laura:_  
 _Do I have to cook for 1, 2 or 3 people today? :)_  
  
*looks at his phone and grins slightly*  
*quickly answers*  
  
_WhatsApp Laura/Matteo:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _3\. Thanks! :)_  
  
Hanna:  
*smiles when Matteo says that he was lucky*  
*then takes half of the last cookie and grins*  
Thanks!  
*bites into it and then sees that Matteo has received a text but can't see the typical David-smile*  
*comments with a grin*  
That wasn't David... am I right?  
*laughs quietly*  
Your David-smile was missing…  
*then quickly checks the time*  
By the way, I have to get going soon. Jonas and I wanted to watch a movie and order pizza…  
  
Matteo:  
*laughs when she says that it wasn't David*  
No, that wasn't David... that was Laura asking whether I would join them for dinner...  
*then nods*  
And I have to start writing my application...  
*grins at her*  
We have to do this again... a coffee and cookie meeting in the park  
*then gets up and hugs her*  
Say hi to Jonas from me... and don't let yourself be talked into a Star Wars movie, they're all boring.  
  
Hanna:  
*grins at Matteo's answer*  
It's also nice if you don't have to cook, yourself...  
*then nods at his comment about the application*  
Good that you mention it! I'll send you mine later. If you haven't received it in an hour then please remind me again...  
*zips up her backpack, takes the empty packet of cookies and the coffee-2-go cups to throw them into the trash can*  
*smiles at his suggestion*  
Yes, I'd really like that!  
*then also hugs him goodbye*  
Bye, and say hi to David!  
*shakes her head when he mentions Star Wars*  
No, no, don't worry! I'll pick...  
*grins, puts the backpack and the trash in the basket on her bike, gets on the bike, waves at Matteo again, and then cycles off*  
  
Matteo:  
*waves after Hanna and then walks out of the park slowly*  
*briefly considers if it's worth making a detour to the flatshare to get his bike*  
*but then decides against it and walks toward David's*  
*plugs his headphones into his phone and turns on music*  
*sends David a text*  
  
_WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _On my way. From the park. To you. On foot. You can expect me in approximately 1-2 hours ;)_  
  



	25. June 24, 2019 (3) - You have a plan!

**Monday, 6:12 pm:**  
  
_WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _On my way. From the park. To you. On foot. You can expect me in approximately 1-2 hours ;)_  
  
David:  
*has finally found the time to change his sheets and to tidy up his room a bit*  
*has also tidied up his desk and prepared his laptop for Matteo*  
*was just about to put the dirty laundry in the washer, have a shower and put on comfortable clothes when he hears his phone vibrate*  
*checks his messages and smiles when he sees that it’s from Matteo*  
*answers*  
 _WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _David:_  
 _Hurry up! Laura already has dinner ready. We’re having lasagna. I don’t know if there will be any left in 1-2 hours. ;-)_  
*puts the phone back on the bed, takes the dirty laundry and goes to the bathroom to shower*  
  
Matteo:  
*reads David’s reply and murmurs*  
Mean…  
 _WhatsApp David/Matteo:_  
 _Matteo:_  
 _Oh, well THEN I’ll hurry up, of course_  
*arrives at David’s 17 minutes later and climbs the stairs*  
*knocks at the door*  
  
David:  
*steps out of the shower and dries himself off when he hears a knock on the door*  
*only sticks his head out of the bathroom door and stretches to reach the apartment door*  
*manages to reach the door and opens it*  
*grins at Matteo*  
I knew that the prospect of food would lure you to me… hey!  
*nods towards the inside of the bathroom with his head*  
I’ll be done in a minute… just have to get dressed…  
  
Matteo:  
*grins when he sees David with his hair wet*  
If I had known that this sight would await me then I would have been here even faster  
*grins a little broader when he enters the apartment*  
*was hoping to steal a kiss but David has already closed the door again*  
*closes the apartment door behind him*  
*toes of his shoes and then goes through to the kitchen to Laura*  
Hey, na?  
  
Laura:  
*is sitting at the kitchen table with a book and waits for the lasagna to be ready*  
*looks up and smiles when Matteo enters the room*  
*imitates him*  
Hey, na?  
*grins and nods toward the oven*  
Could you maybe check on the lasagna? Should be ready any minute…  
*closes her book and starts to clear the table to make room for the plates*  
  
Matteo:  
*nods*  
Sure….  
*squats down to peer into the oven*  
Hmm, I’ll turn it off but it can stay in there a little longer…  
*gets up again*  
*sees Laura clear the table and goes to take out some plates from the cabinet*  
*puts them on the table*  
*gets the cutlery while Laura grabs glasses*  
  
David:  
*has quickly finished drying himself off, put on comfortable clothes and joins Laura and Matteo in the kitchen*  
*sees that they have already finished laying the table and that there isn’t really anything left for him to do*  
*therefore goes over to Matteo, who is leaning against the counter, and wraps an arm around him to greet him properly*  
Hey…  
*smiles and kisses him*  
How was it with Hanna? Everything alright with her?  
*then hears Laura: “Guys… please move 30 centimeters to your right so that I can still get to the fridge…”*  
*sees her wave her arms about as if to shoo them away and takes a step to the side with Matteo still in his arms*  
*then looks at him again with a smile and waits for him to answer his question*  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles when David enters the kitchen*  
*immediately reaches his arms out for him and grins when he has a similar idea*  
*puts his arm around David’s shoulders and kisses him back*  
Hey…  
*kisses him again and then nods*  
*was just about to answer him when Laura complains*  
*together with David really moves 30 centimeters to the right*  
Yeah, everything alright… was pretty cool… I’ll tell you about it in more detail later…  
*watches Laura close the fridge and put the drinks on the table*  
*sees her take the lasagna out of the oven and also put it down on the table, then sees her tilt her head and look at them: “If the gentlemen could maybe let go of each other and take a seat.”*  
*laughs slightly*  
You do know that we can do that without letting go of each other, right?  
*hears Laura laugh: “Yes, I know.”*  
  
  
David:  
*smiles when Matteo says that it was cool with Hanna and is happy for him*  
*nods when he says that he’ll tell him in more detail later*  
Sure…  
*is still really curious what Matteo needs the laptop for*  
*is running a hand through his hair and is about to pull him in for another kiss when Laura asks them to sit down*  
But of course…  
*was about to pull away from Matteo but then hears his comment and grins*  
*wraps his other arm around Matteo, as well, and laughingly makes his way to the table with him*  
*only lets go of him once he has reached his chair and sits down carefully*  
*but then feels that the pain in his butt has already subsided a bit and relaxes a little*  
*looks at the lasagna and then at Laura*  
Looks really delicious! Thanks for cooking!  
  
Matteo:  
*moves to the table with David and then lets go of him*  
*grins at Laura*  
Tadaa!  
*hears Laura laugh: “Very impressive!”*  
*sits down and looks at David, who sits down slowly, and then remembers where he had been today*  
*immediately gets up again and grabs a pillow from the living room*  
*hands it to him without saying anything and sits back down*  
  
David:  
*grins at Matteo’s Tadaa and laughs at Laura’s comment*  
*wiggles his eyebrows*  
Well, we’re very talented...  
*looks after Matteo surprisedly and then smiles broadly when he sees him return with the pillow*  
*takes it from him and sits down on it*  
*then wraps both arms around him, pulls him close and presses a kiss to his cheek*  
*murmurs into his ear*  
Thanks, you’re the best!  
*then turns back to Laura and the food and meets Laura’s amused gaze*  
*then hears her say: “Okay, it seems to make sense to you… I better not ask!”*  
*grins and nods*  
Matteo’s simply taking care of me…  
*lovingly looks at him from the side and reaches for the spatula to serve them*  
  
Matteo:  
*smiles slightly when David thanks him*  
Sure…  
*then laughs at Laura’s comment and even more so when he hears David’s comment*  
Yep, that’s true.  
*one hour later they are finished with dinner and cleaning the kitchen because Laura had already cooked*  
*they are now going to David’s room and Matteo sees the laptop and turns around to David*  
I have an idea of what I might want to do… this year, I mean… Hanna is doing it and I think it would also be good for me… a Voluntary Year of Social Service!  
*suddenly gets nervous that David might find it stupid and quickly continues talking*  
Basically I can try something out and if it isn’t the right thing for me then I can still do something else next year…  
  
David:  
*goes into his room with Matteo after they ate*  
*sees the opened laptop and was just about to ask Matteo what he needs it for when Matteo already blurts it out*  
*gapes at him when he says that he knows what he wants to do*  
*then smiles when he tells him about the Voluntary Year of Social Service and immediately thinks that it’s a good idea and wonders why they didn’t think of it themselves when they were trying to figure out what Matteo could do*  
*then realizes that Matteo seems a little nervous, goes to him and loosely wraps his arms around his hips*  
*looks at him and then says*  
I think it’s a great idea! Especially since you have a huge selection of different facilities – I’m sure there’s something cool amongst it that you’d enjoy!  
*points his head towards the laptop*  
And tonight we’re going to look up the different facilities?  
  
Matteo:  
*is very relieved when David thinks that it’s a good idea and also wraps his arms around David’s hip*  
Right?  
*then shakes his head*  
No, Hanna already told me how this works… tonight we are going to write my application to the central office… if they want me they forward my application to the facilities where I could imagine working and where they are still looking for people…  
*nods towards the laptop*  
Hanna has already been accepted and said she’d send me her application so that I can orient myself a little on it with how to formulate things and so on…  
  
David:  
*listens to Matteo when he explains the process and what their plan for tonight is*  
*is really happy for him that he has found something that he’s interested in, especially since he thinks that it would have been hard on him in the long run if everyone else had started something and he still would have been without a plan*  
*nods at the plan for tonight and then smiles at Matteo*  
*says a little proudly*  
You have a plan!  
*kisses him quickly and then lets go of him*  
I’ll go grab a chair from the kitchen, you open up your emails and then we’ll start!  
  
Matteo:  
*grins slightly and tilts his head*  
I have a plan.  
*is happy that David is so happy*  
*a little later they are sitting in front of the laptop, Hanna’s application printed out and lying on David’s lap and Matteo’s application opened on the screen*  
*peers at the application*  
What do you think, should I already mention which facilities I’m interested in? I better not, right? What matters is that I get accepted, right?  
  
David:  
*looks at the screen and thinks that what Matteo has written so far sounds pretty good – some parts even better than Hanna’s application*  
*thinks when he hears his question and briefly looks at Hanna’s application*  
Hmmm… I don’t know… maybe not the facilities themselves but the type of facility you’re interested in…  
*glances at Hanna’s application again*  
For example, Hanna wrote that she has always enjoyed working with children and that she would like to gain more experience in that field.  
*looks back at Matteo and briefly gnaws on his bottom lip*  
Maybe something like that… do you have a field that you’re especially interested in?  
  
Matteo:  
*grimaces slightly and thinks*  
Well, not so much with children… I think that’s not really my thing… but I think I would like to work with teenagers… maybe also something with disabled people… but preferably in a youth center or something like that…  
*types a few sentences where he formulates something similar to what he just said*  
Or should I leave it out, after all?  
  
David:  
*nods and smiles at Matteo’s thoughts*  
*can really imagine him doing that*  
*then reads along while he types and is really fascinated about how well and fast Matteo can formulate it*  
*shakes his head at his question*  
I think it’s good like this!  
*reads through everything again and nods again*  
Perfect! Now the CV?  
  



End file.
